Harmony Shepard and the Classified Room
by Guardian54
Summary: The true record of events for the school year of 1992-1993, without the distorting and character-excision that Harmony did when publishing a version of her memoirs under the pen name of J.K. Rowling. Here be flash-bangs, guns, crime scene investigations, and, of course, the onset of teenage awkwardness (Ha/Ha? R/Hr?). Science, logic, and the Janitor have returned to Hogwarts...
1. The Stuff Of Dreams

A/N: Question: What should Harmony and Hermione's Animagus forms be? I'm thinking something from Muggle fiction that Wizards have never heard of. They have to share some traits though as they're twins… the idea I'm toying with right now is something completely absurd, and I mean that as in **Hydralisk level absurdity**. Of course, that's still less ridiculous than Harmony being a **Dementor** or something similarly hazardous (**Blast-Ended Skrewt?**), because she _**will**_ be a highly dangerous killing machine even in Animagus form, and if you guys don't like these proposals then we can expect a **Coleopian Tank** (Kane will be astonished for reasons to be unveiled in the future) to be marching onto the scene. I already know just what her Patronus will be, so don't fret there. However, I don't know if Harmony will be making any **Horcruxes**, could you tell me your opinion?

The best thing about Harmony not being in Ravenclaw: The door to Ravenclaw Tower is not mind-fucked by "A volume of outer space equal to an elephant's volume" as the answer to "I am as big as an elephant but lighter than a feather." Wizard-kind, due to psychic dampening of inertia, do not yet understand the difference of weight and mass… truly quite sad.

**PAIRINGS: R/Hr, H/Hr(?), H/G(?) Note: Hr stands for TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. So, while I rant in A/N's about R/Hr, don't dismiss the H/Hr possibility. You have been warned.**

* * *

Chapter 1: The Stuff Of Dreams

_Late June, 1992_

Harmony had never seen her aunt so distraught as in the video conference between the Shepard sisters, which she had been allowed to sit in on. It seemed that Aunt Hannah had really seen the baby she'd adopted seven years ago, at the conclusion of the Psychic Dominator Disaster, as her own daughter. The entirety of both the SI Spec Ops and Black Ops Networks were put on the lookout for any hints of Yuriko's whereabouts. It was right about when her aunt began blubbering (Harmony had not expected her aunt to blubber of all things about ANYTHIN) about the hopes and dreams she had for the child. She'd ended the conference by mentioning ordering the research of additional improvements to their Endgame Weaponry, hoping to double the power involved, just in case. She was also talking about increasing production of warships and amphibious assault transports in case the genetic tests were accurate and the Japanese, who had closed their borders at the end of the Psychic Dominator Disaster after most of its artists and video game designers were evicted or left on their own, were behind it all. Those parts, Harmony paid attention to, as well as mentions of another improved model (the D model) of the T-1984 Main Battle Tank.

* * *

_Late July to early August, 1992_

It had been at four days since Harmony had more than grass roots and leaves (and the occasional safe-for-consumption insect) to eat, since she wasn't very good at knife-throwing at small animals, which were the most wary of her and were annoyingly faster than her. Taking on bigger prey would take gunshots or make a ruckus that would announce her position to the trackers after her. The funny thing was that she seemed to be able to actually extract a decent amount of nutrition from the leaves, including breaking down cellulose, probably inherited from her mum. If Kane's claims were in any way accurate he had been engineered with as much adaptability as possible while still looking human and being able to interbreed with humans, so maybe this shouldn't be such a surprise. It had been a bit of a surprise during the school year when Hermione and her could comfortably crunch up Hagrid's rock cakes while Harry and Ron almost broke their teeth, and when they had no problem chewing up the extremely hard and sticky fudge (it tasted quite good, just the texture left something to be desired) Hagrid made while Ron and Harry's jaws were cemented together.

She was out on another survival exercise. For the first couple weeks of the summer, since Aunt Tanya and her mother had deemed her physically "large" (combination of height and weight) enough, she had been training in the use of submachine guns/assault rifles and improving her skills in small-group tactics, and now she was out on exercises as usual for her holidays. Whether it was starving in hot, humid jungles, freezing her ass off in the Arctic or Antarctic, stalking through the typical boreal or temperate broadleaf forest, or blending in during urban recon scenarios, Harmony's summer and winter holidays were never dull after she confronted her mother. After all, this sort of thing was the price of her dream career, as a general baby-sitting a chunk of the world, able to step in when gross incompetence or corruption reared its head but otherwise taking a back seat and doing more interesting and less tedious things (like funding/prodding research efforts to benefit humanity). It was her mother and aunt's job description, and she had fallen in love with the idea almost at once. Did democracy elect the most competent? Not very often, it usually elected the most popular or best-funded, so sometimes things that get out of hand needed fixing, to say the least.

For some reason, Harry hadn't returned her mail when she was still at home, prior to departing for the exercise, and Ron said he hadn't communicated with the Weasleys either. Harmony dismissed this as someone, probably Harry's abusive-looking relatives, stopping him from getting his mail. However, she knew full well that while Harry's relatives seemed to be assholes, they didn't have enough guts to kill or permanently maim Harry. None of them had the look of a killer, and Harmony knew that look from the eyes of every member of her family except Hermione (i.e. Mum, Dad, Aunt Hannah and Aunt Tanya). She also knew it from every time she bothered to look in a mirror.

It was somewhat depressing to look at her old photos, of the happy years before she turned eight and embarked upon the path she was determined to follow for the rest of her life. She had been so innocent… foolish… _stupid_ back then. She had learnt to be better than that now, to toughen up and prepare to take on the duty of being a general in the future, she would be sending thousands of soldiers to their deaths each day without brooding over it. To do that, though, she first had to survive her Hogwarts years, and that meant a lot of training. Wilderness survival, urban combat, traps, gunnery, there was so much to be learnt to ensure her survival, and so little time to learn. She'd kept up her physical training regimen in the last year, but it was still not the sort of hand-to-hand combat training she needed. The fact that she wasn't supposed to use magic at home due to the Ministry putting a detector near her home didn't help in survival training,as she couldn't practice spells and such.

The next week passed without incident, she even managed to lose her trackers long enough to kill a bird (not being well-versed in stone throwing, it took until she found one roughly the size and weight of a grenade to score a decent hit). However, she couldn't afford to start a fire on the jungle floor, since that would draw too much attention from the satellites overhead, so she had to seek shelter from their infrared sensors before she could cook and eat the damned avian. Her own thermal signature was among so many other animal signatures that it wasn't a problem, but a fire surely would be. She managed to stay out of detection long enough consume the whole bird, crunching up the bones, after roasting it over a manually-started fire (her mother and Tanya forbade the use of magic since that would make the exercise too easy). Harmony wondered briefly why according to wizarding texts it was impossible to conjure food, only possible to increase its amount, whereas water could be freely conjured. She hypothesized that it was probably because wizards didn't understand enough biology and chemistry for their minds to understand food and conjure it, whereas they could brain-scan food items at close range and replicate them without as much difficulty as visualizing it from scratch.

She managed to make it to the designated rendezvous and thus completed the three-week exercise successfully. After sleeping in to an absurd degree on her first day home (she was astonished to wake up at around 9 AM instead of her usual up-at-dawn routine) she came downstairs to find Hermione fussing over Ron's ancient owl, Errol. "Any more news on Harry?"

"Ron and his brothers have gone to rescue Harry from his relatives, It's worrying how he's been incommunicado for so long. How was the training exercise? Did you get any homework done last night after you went up to your room?"

"No, Hermione, I did a lot before I left for the exercise." The flight to and from Cameroon had been free of work though. "I'll finish the rest whenever I have time. Did you finish writing a letter yet?"

"Yes… You can add your own bits if you'd like, Errol doesn't mind waiting." Said owl gave a bleary-eyed hoot.

"Why don't we send Flare with the mail instead?" Said tiny owl had greeted Harmony rather affectionately last night when she reached home and had now taken up her usual residence in Harmony's hair, she ruffled her feathers and hooted in acknowledgement of talking about her. "Errol will appreciate the rest, right? Can I read it?"

"Of course." Hermione handed the letter she had been about to tie to Errol's leg over.

_Dear Ron, and Harry if you're there:_

_I hope everything went all right and that Harry is okay and that you didn't do anything illegal to get him out, Ron, because that would get Harry into trouble, too. I've been really worried and if Harry is all right, will you please let me know at once, but perhaps it would be better if you used a different owl, because I think another delivery might finish your one off. I'm very busy with schoolwork, of course and we're going to London next Wednesday to buy my new books. Why don't we meet in Diagon Alley? Let me know what's happening as soon as you can._

_Love from Hermione._

"Love from Hermione? Really?" She smirked amusedly at her younger twin, who raised an eyebrow, not understanding the reason for the smirk. "Did you know that Ron's crushing on you?" Mum and Dad were both out, Mum was probably checking up on the research crews going over Tanya's new joyride. Aunt Tanya, who lived with them these days, was doing some exercises, and her fiancée, a certain Mark Jamison Shepard, was at work. They had bought the aforementioned joyride on the wizarding black market (Knockturn Alley) earlier that year and found out it could fly, had afterburners and a cloaking device, and apparently belonged to someone named Sirius Black at one point or another if the name plate attached was any indication. Research teams were fervently working on sensors able to pick up the vehicle when cloaked, and were coming close to a breakthrough regarding how the object allowed light through it.

Hermione looked taken aback "What? Oh, no I didn't mean it like that, uh…" She pouted at her older sister's grin and let her eyelids droop in an irritated face "Harmony… that's not funny."

"It's true though, still, he was such an ass—"

"Language!"

"—at the beginning of last year that he needs to improve himself quite a lot before he deserves a chance with you. By the way, Hermione, if any boys make passes at you that you don't appreciate, say NO, and reinforce it if you have to. A nice slug to the face or a kick in the crotch, preferably wearing high heels, work well in that regard. I would prefer if you stayed away from boys for a few more years though, at least until you finally top out in height. I'd say you can expect something around a hundred and eighty-five centimetres given Mom and Dad. However, I personally think being as well-endowed as Aunt Hannah can get in the way sometimes."

That was especially true when doing push-ups, since their aunt complained good-humouredly that she couldn't put her nose close enough to the ground without it seeming like she was cheating. Harmony was enjoying the very traumatized blush on her sister's face "So hopefully we won't be stuck with a rack the size of melons, on the other hand, a great figure would be good in terms of physical appeal for you when you want to search for a mate, since we aren't exactly the prettiest faces in the magical world. However, I expect you to rely more on your intellect for the task, a man who doesn't love you for who you are on the inside will find himself either dumped or terminated in short order, I promise you that."

* * *

A/N: Ah yes, we will have a VERY different Ron indeed from the asshole we know and hate from canon. And here's something that may be of some interest…

* * *

"Harmony…" Hermione was starting to get past embarrassed and into angry by now.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop embarrassing you…" There was a sigh of relief from the younger twin "You know, I picked up some sort of diffuse compulsion field around Mom, and a weaker version around you and me. I think it's auto-targeted toward men who are not close relatives, but I'm not sure…" She dodged a smack from Hermione and ran for it.

"HARMONY!" The younger twin's shrill screech didn't help her efforts to catch her much more nimble older sister as they raced through the house. Harmony was dodging furniture and rounding corners with training and her mental map—currently being updated—of the house while Hermione relied on her dance lessons to circumvent obstacles and had a more up-to-date mental map of the home. In the end, training won out as Hermione began running low on stamina, slowing down to a jog after an hour and a half of constant running. Harmony wasn't feeling it yet, training was usually a lot less comfortable than this in terms of obstacles and a lot longer too.

Harmony added her own note to the letter: _If Harry's relatives are such asses that extreme force is required, please inform me and I will bring a squadron of people to liberate him from wherever his relatives' pitiful shack is. Could you please give me the address of Harry's relatives for future reference?_

However, Errol's first take-off attempt resulted in a crash due to the owl being surprised when Hermione screamed from the bathroom and Harmony tore the door open (it opened outward for safety purposes) to find her sister gawking at her panties, which had a reddish brown blood stain on them. "Ah, you get periods, like me and Aunt Tanya, and unlike Mom and Aunt Hannah." Their mother didn't have periods, at least, not more than a few times per year or so. When Jane had spoken to Kane about the physiology of the Old Families and Immortals, he'd mentioned in passing that to conserve nutrients Immortals and near-Immortal members of the Old Families had no menstrual flow normally.

Their egg cells would release hormones stimulating endometrial growth only if they were fertilized successfully, and menstrual flow only occurred if the embryo detected major genetic errors or positional errors (for example implanting too close to the cervix, anywhere without endometrium, or any form of ectopic or near-ectopic pregnancy) and self-destructed. The extreme selectivity of the Old Families' eggs against alleles for just about all genetic diseases probably explained why their fertility rates were quite low. Small nuclear RNAs, micro-RNAs and other things Kane said hadn't been discovered by science yet were involved in detecting faulty alleles and prompting the embryo to self-terminate. The way he was sure of the terminology made Harmony suspect he would reveal them to the world himself or that he was a time traveller trying to ensure the timeline happened.

As for when Harmony had had her own first period, it had been last week when she was making her way through the jungle. She'd had to make do with respect to dealing with it, but fortunately the flow only lasted two days, seems the genes for a monthly endometrium were incompletely dominant with the genes for waiting for an egg signal. She didn't particularly care about it, though she'd had the misfortune to be sitting on the roof near her parents' window when they were in the afterglow phase and her mother was teasing her father about not needing to wait for periods to end. That had been when she'd found out about her mother's general shortage of periods, when her parents were discussing the medical implications as pillow talk.

A day after they sent Errol off, they got the list of second-year books. Other than the _Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2_, they had seven crappily-named books from someone named Gilderoy Lockhart. Harmony immediately suspected they were completely fabricated stories (the names were so bad they made her suspect only a moron could come up with or approve them), but she needed more evidence before she could be sure.

Hermione, on the other hand, was almost frothing at the mouth (so maybe Harmony was exaggerating a bit, so what?) over a man who'd written so many books. The twins were very different in personality. Hermione was warm and open toward people she wasn't yet familiar with whereas Harmony restrained herself to irrelevant topics to probe allegiances, at least at first. Hermione was talkative and vibrant, full of life, while her twin was not exactly any of those things. Hermione's wand was of vine wood and dragon heartstring, something fiery, lively, growing, and able to change with the ambient conditions. Harmony's was one of Ollivanders' more experimental products, a titanium stick with Thestral tail hair, cold, dead, unchanging (thermal expansion excluded) and unyielding. Hermione, with the way she behaved, was Life, and Harmony was, as per the fact that she had killed quite a few people before, Death. Neither Life nor Death could exist without the other, and so it was for the sisters.

* * *

On the next Wednesday, Harmony Shepard, Hermione Granger, Jane Shepard and Dan Granger all went to Diagon Alley to purchase the next year's school materials. Since obviously the exchange rate was a rip-off (_fifty_ pounds to the Galleon, really?), and now they had decided to open a vault for Harmony if only to do some tactical recon of Gringotts' general structure, they needed to get there a little earlier than they would have done otherwise. Jane had concluded that the exchange rate was to force Muggleborns to become accustomed to bringing either muggle stuff or second-hand goods to school, both of which would result in further exclusion from the elite circles of wizarding society. Harmony had agreed fervently with her mother while Hermione scoffed at the uncomfortably realistic conspiracy theory, she really had too much faith in authority, probably learnt from her father who obeyed her mother without question when _ordered_ to do something. Hermione probably thought most people didn't abuse authority, the way that their mother didn't abuse her authority over their father.

Still, the Shepards/Grangers were more than wealthy enough (Jane and Hannah's total wealth mounted to probably trillions of dollars given their back-seat control over significant parts of the world economy) to give their kids full sets of new stuff. In this case, they didn't _need_ to exchange any money as it had turned out last year that tuition at Hogwarts was pretty much a formality due to Ministry subsidization (though income tax was quite high at ten percent) so expenses had been lower than they had been expecting. However, they did _want_ to exchange more money to establish a vault for the twins. While that was happening, Hermione decided to go outside Gringotts' doors and look around for their friends. Harmony accompanied her, happy with the new submachine gun tucked away inside her clothes in addition to the pistol she always carried. A carbine would have been too large to hide conveniently.

"Lousy Muggles, if I'd've known…" Hagrid's voice was detected by Harmony a moment before Hermione picked it up. A glance at her mother said she'd already picked up Harry coming through the crowd and her father had followed her mother's gaze. Typical, Harmony was trained, but her mother was still much better than she was at this sort of thing, being more experienced and, according to Ancestor Kane, more enhanced.

"Harry! Harry! Over here!" Hermione jumped up and down and waved her arms while Harmony waved slightly, almost twitching with how her twin's behaviour would mean near-instant death in any combat environment. From what Harmony could see in the crowd, the Weasleys, all seven of the orange-heads, had picked up the signal and were moving their way. Hermione soon gave up her excited attention-drawing and charged Harry and Hagrid, running down the marble steps four at a time with coordination that was well beyond what average humans her age, magical or not, could pull off without practice. "What happened to your glasses? Hello, Hagrid—Oh, it's _wonderful _to see you two again—Are you coming into Gringotts, Harry?"

"As soon as I've found the Weasleys." Harry was absently looking at the crowd, but his eyes belied the fact that he was thoroughly untrained.

"Yeh won't have long ter wait." Hagrid was grinning. Hermione only now seemed to realize the orange hair approaching them in the crowd.

Ron, Fred, George, Percy and Mr. Weasley (who looked roughly the same age as Mrs. Weasley but somewhat more tired and haggard), who had been standing together, been closer, and been a larger group, reached them first. Mr. Weasley was panting after having run down the entire length of Diagon Alley, which said his physical fitness had to be average or less than average "Harry, we _hoped _you'd only gone one grate too far… Molly's frantic—she's coming now—"

"Where did you come out?" Ron asked Harry, ignoring Hermione and Harmony.

"Knockturn Alley." Hagrid stated ominously. Harmony raised an eyebrow, that was the wizarding black market…

"_Excellent_!" Fred and George chorused. Harmony smirked a little, that was the right attitude to have, open minds… never knew what one could find on the black market (flying cloaking motorcycles, for example) that could aid one's cause… then again, it was true that it was not exactly a great place for small children to be.

"We've never been allowed in." Ron sounded envious.

"I should ruddy well think not!" Hagrid growled.

Mrs. Weasley came into sight a mere moment later, dragging Ginny with one hand while the other held her wildly swinging handbag. This was, of course, an inefficient scheme of handbag-holding, as it increased drag and the amount of muscle force needed to keep the handbag in place. It would have been more efficient just to hold the main body of the handbag in one's hand, but you couldn't expect everyone to be trained in moving efficiently… "Oh, Harry—oh, my dear—you could have been anywhere—"

She pulled a large clothes brush out of her bag and began sweeping off the soot Harry still had on him from Floo travel. Harmony thought Floo was somewhat hazardous a method to use, since in theory any magical defence can be broken and the Floo Network is an open path into one's living room or wherever one kept their fireplace. Of course, her home did not have one. Anyhow, Mr. Weasley repaired Harry's glasses and Hagrid eventually went off, parting the crowd fairly easily despite his bulk due to him towering head and shoulders over everyone else in the crowd at ten feet tall.

"Guess who I saw in Borgin and Burkes?" Harry said excitedly.

Harmony knew that seeing someone at the black market and then talking about them in such a tone was unfavourable at best, so she had a good guess based on who had been the most asinine toward them last year. "Malfoy and his father, that's my guess."

"…Well, you guessed right."

"Did Lucius Malfoy buy anything?" Mr. Weasley questioned sharply.

Harry shook his head "No, he was selling…"

"So he's worried…oh, I'd love to get Lucius Malfoy for something."

"You be careful, Arthur, that family's trouble." Mrs. Weasley cautioned "Don't go biting off more than you can chew." From what Harmony had read, the Malfoys were a pureblood supremacist family while the Weasleys were considered blood traitors. The Malfoys were very influential in the government, whereas Arthur Weasley had been put in the least politically influential office, the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office.

…You didn't think a trained operative would become enemies or later on friends with Ron Weasley without investigation him and his whole family, did you?

"So you don't think I'm a match for Lucius Malfoy?"… and there went foolish male dick-waving again.

However, Mr. Weasley was distracted almost at once by catching sight of Hermione and Harmony's parents, who were standing at the counter that ran all along the marble hall of Gringotts. Someone less militarily minded would think they were waiting for Hermione to introduce them, when in fact they were giving their daughters' friends a good once-over. Almost immediately after the initial introductions… "But you're _Muggles_! We must have a drink! What's that you've got there? Oh, you're changing Muggle money. Molly, look!" Arthur was pointing excitedly at the bundles of fifty-pound bills Dan had in an open briefcase on the counter. Harmony's spontaneous opinion was that wizards needed to be taught how to be curious and interested in learning more about the muggle world without making fools of themselves.

* * *

A/N: I just believed that the exchange ratio should be completely absurd to discourage Muggleborns from attending school, and ostracizing them due to shabby, used gear if they do attend. Fortunately, Jane is… yeah.

* * *

"Meet you back here." Ron said to Hermione and Harmony as the Weasleys and Harry headed down to their underground vaults by another Gringotts goblin.

"Can we come with you guys? I need to go by my newly opened vault anyways. Mom, Dad, is the vault ready?"

"Yes, dear, we'd like to come too…" Jane was more interested in how they were all going to fit into the small goblin-driven cart… but it expanded on the inside to fit them all. Her EM and psychic sensor recordings were skyrocketing, but she wasn't paying attention to that, more the sequence of turns and distances to Harmony and Hermione's vault, which wasn't that hard to remember.

The vault had been filled with a few hundred Galleons, which the Shepard family had deposited that morning before exchanging more money for the year's spending cash. It was obvious that Harry was feeling horrible when they reached and opened the Weasleys' vault, since there was a very small pile of silver Sickles and only one gold Galleon. Mrs. Weasley swept the whole lot into her bag. When they reached Harry's vault, he did a funny dance trying to block the contents of his vault, which held vast mounds of wizard coins, from view. Ginny giggled quietly from beside Harmony, then stopped as the tall brunette fixed the petite redhead with a stare.

"What do you think of the dance he's doing?" Harmony was trying her best not to sound snobbish or interrogative.

"I think it's cute he's trying to be so considerate… but he doesn't need to be. We get by well enough." Ginny smiled. Harmony, on the other hand, was frowning at the younger girl's rather faded clothes and obvious starry-eyed crush on the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Ginny, I'm taking you shopping for your school robes after we get out of here." Ginny seemed about to protest when Harmony nailed her "If you want to catch a boy's attention, you need to have nice clothes. It's quite important when appealing to the more physical side of male minds. It might not matter right now, but I guarantee you that being better-dressed will really come to matter in a few years. Besides, no girl should have to start First Year with second-hand robes, there's no House that would look positively on that. It doesn't matter so much for boys, but I really think you should come shopping with me. It'll also help you in learning if you have custom-fitted robes that don't get in your way or hinder you."

Back outside, they split up. Percy was muttering vaguely about a new quill. Harmony never liked quills, and only practiced enough to write well on tests. In fact, the only reason she even used fountain pens instead of ballpoint pens at school was because they were refillable (this was the biggest reason) and handled more similarly to a quill than plastic ballpoint pens did. Fred and George had spotted their friend Lee Jordan and rushed off to meet up with him. Mr. Weasley insisted on taking the other set of twins' parents off to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink.

"We'll all meet at Flourish and Blotts in an hour to buy your schoolbooks, and not one step down Knockturn Alley!" Mrs. Weasley yelled about the twin's retreating backs.

Mrs. Weasley was initially resistant to the idea of Harmony taking Ginny shopping for robes, until Harmony pointed out that she was Ron's friend. Due to this, she had the right to buy his sister some robes as a gift, since it would help Ginny fit in with the other first-years at Hogwarts and thus would help all the Weasley brothers still at school by reducing their worries for their baby sister. It would also help Ginny by helping her make more friends. Eventually the two debaters stalemated and Ginny spoke up "Um, I'd like to go with Harmony… she's making a lot of sense with what she's saying."

"And I'm not?" Mrs. Weasley huffed "We don't accept charity, Ginny, I thought you'd learned that!"

"Mrs. Weasley, this is not charity! Guess what, your husband is sorely underpaid by the Ministry, given the importance of his job to prevent the Muggles from finding out about wizarding society. You deserve much better than what you have now, and we all know it. You KNOW that people are shallow, at least with regards to first impressions, don't let Ginny be a casualty of people's stupidity, the way your family is a victim of pureblood supremacists' stupidity."

Eventually the girls prevailed and sent a grumbling Mrs. Weasley off to the Apothecary while the tall (for her age) brunette pulled Ginny away to Madam Malkin's. After that, they went to buy Ginny a cauldron and other materials. However, Ginny said she already had a wand to use, so Harmony didn't insist. This would turn out to be a Bad Idea with regards to Ginny's studies, given a properly matched wand was probably the most important component of learning spells quickly.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were strolling down the Alley slurping large strawberry-and-peanut-butter ice creams when Ginny finished being fitted and they emerged with her new robes, the younger girl thanking the older one profusely. Hermione dragged the boys away from Quality Quidditch Supplies to buy ink and parchment next door, where Harmony and Ginny joined them after getting Ginny an ice cream. The redhead was scandalized to hear that Harmony disliked ice creams, cakes, and all desserts other than fruit or those which were predominantly fruit. Then she got lectured on metabolism and how she'd get fat if she ate too many rich foods, and it was surprising how Ron was not getting obese given his unhealthy, dietary choices, vast appetite and incredible laziness. At least the twins were constantly active…

Ginny followed the others into Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop, and Harmony did the same since she wanted to explore more of the Wizarding world. In a junk shop, Percy was reading a book about prefects who gained power and Ron told them he was ambitious and wanted to be Minister for Magic. When they headed for Flourish and Blotts, they found themselves squeezing through a large crowd outside the doors, trying to get in. Harmony turned the psychic compulsion field around herself to the task of getting them through the crowd, but Hermione had no such control with or understanding of her passive emissions.. She squealed as she saw a large banner across the upper windows:

GILDEROY LOCKHART  
will be signing copies of his autobiography  
_MAGICAL ME_  
Today 12:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

"We can actually meet him! I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist!"

"Yes, and I have a bad feeling he's going to be teaching at Hogwarts and assigned those useless books out of his own arrogance, why would every year have the same texts? If they were so good they could be used for all years surely he could have made compilations suitable for each individual year." Harmony barked at her twin, their identical voice bases being put to entirely different uses.

The crowd seemed to mostly be witches around Mrs. Weasley's age, though given the slowed, variable aging of individual magicals, that meant they could be quite a range of ages. The wizard standing at the door looked rather harassed and frazzled "Calmly, please, ladies…Don't push, there…mind the books, now."

The five of them squeezed inside, grabbed four copies of _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2_ and snuck up the line to where the other Weasleys and Mr. and "Mrs. Granger" were standing, next to the cauldron they'd dropped off with the older Weasleys earlier. Apparently, though they accepted the oddity that was Harmony's name, the others present could not compute the fact that Jane Shepard had kept her own last name even after she married. Mrs. Weasley was just talking about how Daniel Granger seemed to be looking younger than the last time they'd met. Jane, with her arms wrapped around her husband (_the_ resident dentist and also a general-purpose triage medic at the SI British HQ) and leaning her head on his shoulder, smirked a little as Dan joked about him not having the heart to get old and disappoint his wife. They all knew it was due to Kane's device that had been, through coordinating the nanites it dispatched, working hard at repairing the cellular and genetic degradation that came with/caused aging.

"Oh, there you are, good. We'll be able to see him in a minute." Ginny and Harmony shared a look that said they both thought their relatives were insane, with how both Molly and Hermione were nervously patting their hair. The only magic her mother had allowed on the Cameroon exercise was a quick charm to fix her hair into a dirt-repelling layer that fit under her helmet, since she wanted to look identical to Hermione for as long as she could, and she was convinced she might still be washing out the grime from the exercises before First Year from the bushy mass atop her head. Fortunately, Flare had always been good about not shedding feathers in her nest on Harmony's head whenever she was there, and if she did shed she'd immediately eject the feathers from her nest.

The main reason Jane and Dan were even in the line was because Hermione was being stupid about this pretty face. Dan's opinion was that the man reeked of the smell of fraud. That was reinforced by him coming slowly into view seated at a table surrounded by large pictures of his own face, all winking and flashing abnormally white teeth at the crowd. Dan thought that there was in fact something called "too white to be real" and this man epitomized it with his blinding mouth. The real Lockhart was looking robes of a light blue that looked to match his eyes. He shared a look with his wife of pure disgust, obviously he was either a self-centered asshole or had a manager who was even worse. His pointed wizards' hat was set at an angle on his wavy hair. Dan had hoped his daughters would have hair intermediate between his curls and their mothers flowing, straight hair, but it seemed they were cursed with his boring brown hair instead of his wife's rich, deep, _glorious_ red, the colour of wine and vial-drawn blood.

A short, grumpy-looking man was dancing around taking photos with a large black camera that emitted puffs of smoke with every bright flash. Jane snorted and he cast a look her way, Dan then inclined his head down so she could whisper into his ear without inclining her head upward. "Club moss spores, so rich in oil they were once used by magicians and photographers to create smoke or flashes of light. It seems the wizarding world is pathetically behind the times technologically, though their moving pictures are quite interesting, perhaps using several extra dimensions based on psychic capabilities. We did see signs of extra psychic-accessible dimensions to the universe back in the Psychic Dominator Disaster, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember, and I agree, they don't understand anything, they just do trial and error… it's no way to progress forward at any real pace. I think, though, that Harmony will probably get so fed up with the Machine that she will start some manner of Revolution."

"Out of the way, there, this is for the _Daily Prophet _—" the photographer barked at Ron, as he tried to move back to get a better shot. Jane and Dan shared a sneer, did these people not learn anything from Galileo and glasses (which some people were wearing) about focusing cameras or changing the capture field size?

"Big deal…" Ron groused, rubbing his trodden-on foot.

Gilderoy Lockhart apparently heard him and looked in their direction, his watery blue eyes fixed on Harry and stared until he leapt to his feet and shouted "It _can't _be Harry Potter?"

If Harry and Ron had not been standing off to one side in the crowd, and if the crowd wasn't too dense for Harmony to push through quickly without throwing people out of the way, then Lockhart's dive and seizure of Harry would have been met with a punch from Harmony that would have knocked out some of his fake teeth. However, since that was not an option, she opted for sharing a disgusted look with Ginny and her parents at the obvious attention-gathering Lockhart was trying to do. The crowd burst into applause and Harry blushed hard as Lockhart shook his hand for the photographer, who was clicking away madly, sending puffs of thick smoke over the Weasleys and the Shepards.

"Nice big smile, Harry, together, you and I are worth the front page." Lockhart said through his own practically glowing teeth.

Harmony barely restrained herself from howling _"My eyes, MY EYES! HIS TEETH ARE SO HIDEOUSLY BLINDING!"_

Harry tried to edge back toward his friends as soon as Lockhart released his hand, but Lockhart threw an arm around his shoulders and clamped him to his side. "Ladies and gentlemen, what

an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time! "When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography—which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge—" There was more applause, even Hermione and Mrs. Weasley clapped, but Hermione quickly stopped under the burning glares of her mother and sister. "He had _no idea_, that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, _Magical Me. _He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

Harmony's thoughts, which were not reflected on her face, consisted generally of the following: _The rest of the DADA class is fucked. We need to get rid of this arrogant moron as soon as possible. He must be a fraud_ and so on.

The mob applauded again and Harry had the entire works of Gilderoy Lockhart fobbed off on him. Harmony told her parents quietly that she refused to buy those books, she would borrow from her sister if need be. If the man was arrogant enough and profit-seeking enough to force all his works on students of EVERY year, he wasn't going to get any money from her. Harry staggered slightly under their weight (Harmony very much questioned his fitness at this) and managed to sneak away from the limelight while Harmony wandered off to look at the other books in the bookstore. She listened though, and heard Draco Malfoy's voice "Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter? _Famous _Harry Potter, can't even go into a _bookshop_ without making the front page."

"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" Ginny piped up.

"Potter, you've got yourself a _girlfriend_!" Malfoy drawled.

"Oh, it's you, bet you're surprised to see Harry here, eh?" Ron sounded disgusted.

"Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley, I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all those." Malfoy snapped back, Harmony frowned, with her back to them. Maybe she should make her way over, it was too bad she'd decided to move over to the other side of the bookstore, and now the crowd, if possible, had gotten even tighter and impossible to simply circumvent… Better get started with pushing through then.

"Ron!" Mr. Weasley said, struggling over with Fred and George "What are you doing? It's too crowded in here, let's go outside."

"Well, well, well—Arthur Weasley." The voice sounded like Malfoy, so Harmony thought it might be Malfoy's father… and it was, if Mr. Weasley's reaction was anything to go by. The crowd was pressing in even further and she was hard-pressed not to blast them out of her way with her relatively untrained mental powers.

"Lucius…"

"Busy time at the Ministry, I hear, all those raids… I hope they're paying you overtime?" There was a pause "Obviously not. Dear me, what's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?" Harmony finally breached the perimeter enough to see the man, who was tall, blond and looked to her suspiciously like Legolas from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, which she had seen with her parents and sister on their TV at home only a couple days ago. Then again, Orlando Bloom had dark hair, and she highly doubted Mr. Malfoy knew enough about the Muggle world to bother creating a second personality for himself, not to mention filming movies took a lot of time. Lucius Malfoy was currently holding a very old, very battered copy of _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_.

Mr. Weasley flushed in righteous anger at his statement "We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy."

"Clearly…" Malfoy's eyes wandered arrogantly over to Dan and Jane, who were trying and succeeding at looking apprehensive while both ready to pull the trigger on this man before he could so much as lift a finger. "The company you keep, Weasley… and I thought your family could sink no lower—"

There was a metallic thud as Ginny's cauldron toppled over, Mr. Weasley had tackled Malfoy into a bookshelf, spell-books raining down on all their heads. The Weasley kids were shouting encouragement while their mother shrieked in mortification. Draco seemed to have been forgotten, and looked to be about to go aid his father when someone shouted "Dynamic Entry!" He turned just fast enough to see a combat boot (not that he'd know what it was) smash into his chest with the full weight of a very dense (physically) preteen girl behind it in a flying kick, kicking off him hard enough to force his magic to react and shield him from the worst of it. He still went flying into a wall though, knocking himself unconscious with a loud crack.

Harmony received a gentle swat to the back of the head from her mother and a frown for encouraging even more enmity between a clearly influential wizarding family and herself. She was for now not going to be in a world where her mother's words were worth thousands of soldiers pounding on one's head anymore, and she needed to remember that. At least, that was how Harmony interpreted Jane's cold, blue-eyed and rather caustic glare. However, the fact that Jane's left eyelid twitched in a semi-wink belied how she in fact approved of her daughter standing up against the guy who'd tried (and failed abysmally) to bully her in the previous school year. Daniel Granger had clapped a hand around her shoulders and given her an encouraging squeeze for knocking Malfoy out with style.

Hagrid, as Harmony took care of the younger Malfoy, had waded trough the crowd to pick up and hold the two brawling men apart. Harmony was surprised to see that Mr. Weasley hadn't been stabbed with a poisoned knife or something, since Lucius seemed to be the type to usually act like the epitome of sophistication but chose to not do so here "Here, girl—take your book—it's the best your father can give you—" he shoved the old Transfiguration book at Ginny, eyes sparkling maniacally. Pulling himself out of Hagrid's grip, he cast an _Ennervate_ on Draco and swept from the shop with his son.

"Yeh should've ignored him, Arthur. Rotten ter the core, the whole family, everyone knows that—no Malfoy's worth listenin' ter—bad blood, that's what it is—come on now—let's get outta here." Hagrid was saying gruffly. Though the bookstore assistant looked like they wanted to stop them form leaving, he barely came to Hagrid's waist and seemed to reconsider the idea. The Shepard family hurried up the street after the Weasleys, inwardly tense and on the alert for threats while outwardly trying to look nervous at the brawling.

"A _fine _example to set for your children… _brawling _in public… _what _Gilderoy Lockhart must've thought—" Mrs. Weasley was berating her husband.

"He was pleased, didn't you hear him as we were leaving? He was asking that bloke from the _Daily Prophet _if he'd be able to work the fight into his report—said it was all publicity—" Fred Weasley interrupted his mother, or at least, Harmony thought it was Fred, she still wasn't trained enough to detect the psychic waveforms and patterns of people she wasn't too close to.

At the Leaky Cauldron, the Shepards/Grangers said goodbye to the Weasleys, Mr. Wealsey starting to ask them about how bus stops worked but his wife glared him into silence. Still, that did not bode well for the intelligence of wizard-kind if they didn't have the idea of "bus travels along specific route, bus driver sees sign saying 'bus stop', bus driver stops bus and opens doors, people get on/off since they know the sign means the bus would stop there and waited for the bus there, bus drive shuts doors and continues driving until next stop". They watched as the redheads and Harry used some sort of catalytic powder to make a specially-rigged ("Floo Network Connection" had to mean something was done to it in the first place, right?) fireplace into what amounted to a quantum gateway. At least, that was the (just about reasonable) hypothesis Dan was whispering in the ear of his wife as they boarded the awaiting car and drove off.

That evening, Harmony had a dream that was like the things she had seen in the Mirror of Erised. She dreamed of herself, looking significantly older, watching a holographic display as fleets of warships clashed in space, as she emerged victorious, and liberated slave camps on the planet's surface. She saw herself slaughtering alien slavers and pirates by the thousands and exterminating whole species too dangerous to be allowed to exist, for the sake of the rest of galactic life. She watched as time rewound closer to the modern day and she directed armies into battle across the globe against the forces of tyranny and oppression. She watched things play out, war after war, as humanity grew slowly and reached to the stars. The battles against raiders and pirates in the solar system, the extermination campaigns, growing to interstellar travel, followed by planetary sieges, clashes in asteroid belts and in the orbit of planets. Finally, it all came full circle, quite literally, for the last thing she saw in her mind was a great circle of light on a backdrop of utter darkness. When she woke up, she looked at the yin-yang clock she had next to her bed and sighed. Yes, things, no matter how great their contrast, almost always came full circle. But did that mean the future was going to be no better despite all her family's efforts? She sincerely hoped that was not the case… but even if it was to be so, standing and fighting was better than lying down and letting life roll over you.

Unfortunately, she had completely misinterpreted what she had seen. Then again, Kane's Dream Influence Machine WAS rather unreliable in getting the point across, though it was quite safe to use.

* * *

A/N: Well, Second Year is starting, and already things are starting to change for the better. Sorry for not writing for so long, but I was engrossed in the Alpha testing for End of Nations, and HOLY SHIT some of the heroes remind me of Harry Potter Characters. If my mental image of Ginny ever decided to get tattoos and a couple piercings she'd match Fire Nymph almost perfectly. Harmony would definitely match Hippocrates (Hermione is a couple cup sizes up since she didn't stunt her development by over-taxing herself), My mind's Angelina Johnson would match Blur. Note that these are all drawn from the loading pages featuring said heroes, by the way.

Here's the type of character profile we'll see at the start of every year:

CHARACTER PROFILE: Harmony Jane Shepard (as of 09/01/1992, includes skill points breakdowns, ratings approximate)  
Titles: None  
Age: 12 Years  
Height: approx. 161 cm (growth rate 10 cm/year, rapid physical maturation noted)  
Mass: about 65 kg or 143 lbs. (appears quite average in figure, though, as it's mostly muscle)  
Specialty: Undetermined  
Small Arms Skill: 6/20 (Pistols: 3/4, Light Automatic Weapons 3/6, Sniping 0/6, Shotguns 0/4)  
Heavy Weapons Skill: 5/20 (Machine Guns: 1/3, Grenades/Grenade Launchers: 3/5, Mortars: 1/4, Rocket Launchers/Recoilless Rifles 0/4, Missiles: 0/4)  
Demolitions Skill: 3/20 (Vehicular Destruction: 1/4, Breaching Charges: 0/4, Traps: 1/6, Structural Demolition: 1/6)  
Vehicular Capability: 3/20 (Automobiles: 2/4, Armoured Fighting Vehicles: 0/4, Aircraft: 0/8, Watercraft: 1/4)  
Information Technology (Hacking): 1/20 (Malware Offence: 0/5, Malware Defence: 0/5 Data Taps: 1/5, Other IT: 0/5)  
Close Quarters Combat: 5/20 (Knife-Fighting: 2/4, Empty-handed: 1/4, Improvised Weaponry: 1/5, Unusual Environments Combat: 1/7)  
Stealth and Infiltration: 7/20 (Stealth: 3/5, Infiltration: 2/5, Intelligence Reporting: 2/5, Quiet Killing: 0/5)  
Psychic Warfare (not including "magic"): 3/20 (Offence: 1/7, Defence: 3/7, Support: 1/6)  
Sadism: 3/20 (Torture Skill: 1/5, Torture Satisfaction: 1/5, Killing Satisfaction: 0/4, Lack of Empathy/Emotion: 1/6)  
Command Skill: 7/20 (Self-Control Skill: 1/3, Tactical Command Skill: 3/7, Strategic Command Skill: 3/10)

Total Rating: 43/200

Note: Since the last such profile, in Ch 2 of Year 1, Pistol Skill +1, Light Automatic Weapon skill +3, Tactical Command Skill +1, Strategic Command Skill +2, Stealth +1, Infiltration +1, Psychic Offence +1, Psychic Defence +1, Torture Satisfaction +1.

The fact that her total rating is under 25% means she shouldn't be a Sue, Sues are typically 75%-plus overall rating…right?

REVIEW!


	2. Head, Meet Wall(s)

A/N: For the record, Dumbledore's prophecy interpretation is completely wrong. We'll see what the real meaning is eventually… just stay calm and hold on tight. Be warned however that some End of Nations characters will be showing up at points in the C&C plotline. For example, when SI's subordinate company (i.e. the Shepards own controlling shares) Petroglyph makes a movie based on End of Nations, they employed several very familiar actors that Harmony suggested. After all, if you look at some of the loading screens from the game, Fire Nymph is my personal impression of what Ginny would look like if she dressed up that way, and the woman who pilots Hippocrates is what I think of as Hermione/Harmony once their hair calms down, though the picture of the pilot needs a cup size up to fill out said mental image.

**By the way, Lily did NOT use anything based on love, as if that could actually possibly work… **well it could but not in the way most of you would think of, and in a way that will not become relevant to this C&C/HP/etc. universe until later, MUCH later.

* * *

Chapter 2: Head, Meet Wall(s)

_September 1, 1992_

Harmony and Hermione were wondering where Harry and Ron were, since they hadn't come looking for them on the train yet. The other Weasleys had dropped by asking if they'd seen the two boys, so that was worrying. Maybe they hadn't made it through the barrier? Then again, how would the parents on the platform get home if that was the case? "I'm glad we had Mom and Dad go back through the barrier before it sealed. They can't Apparate or anything to get away…" Hermione was fretting again.

"I'm thinking about the physical basis of Apparition, I think it's a matter of editing the coordinates of a set of matter that you believe is you or part of you, hence why clothes come with you. The thing is that to get from a place like platform nine point seven five which is in a different phase to our reality would require that the human brain be enough of a supercomputer to be able to sense with psychic powers and calculate the necessary formulae that whatever set or sets of dimensions determine the phase of an object uses…"

"What are you saying?" Hermione asked bluntly.

"I don't know, I mean, it sounds like how I imagine science fiction would explain Apparition and such other occurrences, after all, sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, right? Hermione, stop worrying, it's obvious Harry and Ron missed the train, but they'll be fine. They aren't stupid enough not to send Hedwig to Hogwarts with a letter if they get stuck outside the barrier." Then again, her mind was thinking of calling for helicopter evac, which Harry didn't have access to and Ron probably didn't know existed, so the boys were probably going to be desperate enough to try some crazy stunt to get to school. Still, it would be foolish to tell Hermione that since she was prone to worrying. "Let's go sit with Ginny Weasley, it must be lonely being the only girl in a family full of boys, besides, we don't need a compartment for us and the boys anymore." Hermione didn't have any real reason to decline that.

At least, she didn't until she looked into Ginny's compartment and saw her talking to a spaced-out-looking blonde girl reading _The Quibbler_ upside-down. "The Quibbler's full of rubbish." Hermione hissed at her twin.

"Political messages in this oligarchy need to disguise themselves as rubbish, Hermione."

Harmony said icily. "The Wizengamot is a corrupt mass of rich feudal lords not unlike in the Roman Empire's Senate. Their version of the _Pax Romana_ is enforced by class divisions and mutual hatreds. It is they who are responsible for the rise of the Dark Lord, of each Dark Lord in history. In their world, for their own selfish desires, they want it to be so that, to quote Orwell, 'under the spreading chestnut tree, I sold you and you sold me'. They want us to undermine each other, for purebloods and Muggleborns and half-bloods, for males and females, to be divided, so that they may conquer us. And for their crimes, they shall pay, it might not be today, it might not even be soon, but I'll be the one to make them pay someday." She was trying to paraphrase StarCraft: Brood War. She didn't think her sister got the reference. Still, from Hermione's taken-aback look, she hoped she'd gotten through somewhat the idea that wizarding authority was corrupt and couldn't be trusted. Before her twin could return fire, Harmony pulled the door of the compartment open. "Hi Ginny, Hello…" she waited for the round-faced blonde girl to reply.

The reply on the other hand made Harmony wonder if she was going to be a 007 character at any point. "Luna Lovegood." It sure sounded like a Bond girl name, but she _really_ didn't look like a whore like the Bond girls usually did. Then again, she WAS just 11 years old… Time would tell, sooner or later, time would tell.

Luna turned out to be a very interesting person, the daughter of the editor of _The Quibbler_, she engaged Hermione in debate over what Hermione claimed to be imaginary creatures, although Harmony suspected it to be much more than that. Given that Kane had sent over a set of communicators for Jane and Hannah to use to contact him or each other whenever they felt like it, she had been allowed to keep her device. She might decide to ask him about some of Luna's creatures in the future. Ginny was also quite conversational and generally friendly, but she did have a major fan-girl crush on Harry, even if the way she asked questions about him suggested something genuine might eventually come out of it.

Unfortunately, she eventually forgot to ask given all the absurd claims Luna was making after the more sensible ones. This would prove rather… inconvenient since if she was to ask about some of the specific creatures, Kane would have much to tell her of them, and much to warn her of. Few humans still held the genetic memories Kane had attempted to give humanity so that the mistakes of the past would not be repeated, but most dismissed these as eccentric musings or imaginings. It seemed that, sadly, humanity didn't want to remember, or at least, did not wish to believe. Instead of understanding the truth, their minds succumbed to ideas of God and Satan, of a Great Flood, and of Noah's Ark, whatever the culture's names for them may be. They were oh so close to the mark, but just far enough off that things would not turn out too well.

When it came time to head up to the castle, Hermione exclaimed something that made her wonder if her sister was night-blind: "Horseless carriages!" That also sounded remarkably like the advertisement for the first automobiles, but that was beside the point. The carriages in question were being pulled by tall, skeletally thin, black, winged horses, Harmony supposed she shouldn't be surprised, Kane had said surprisingly many psychic species existed on Earth and used their powers to hide.

"No, they're pulled by Thestrals, you've read of them, right?" Harmony stated simply. It was her usual mode of speech, thought-out, simple, relatively unemotional, and almost aloof, it helped her from leaking secrets. "You know, big, skeletal winged horses that can live for many centuries if they are fortunate and powerful enough?"

"I see them too, so your twin is not insane." Luna said far less dreamily than her usual airy speech pattern.

"I wasn't thinking that, but… only those that have seen someone die can see it…" Hermione trailed off, frowning at the younger girl.

"My mother died when I was nine, I was there." Luna sounded gloomy for the first time since they'd met.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Hermione began, and Harmony nodded silently to Luna and then frowned at her twin, sometimes the best politeness was a moment of silence.

"Polite words are unnecessary." Luna said, cutting Hermione off. "Thank you, Harmony." Simple, non-insulting to Hermione, and really damned effective in getting the point across. "Now I really should go over to Hagrid…"

The twins occupied a carriage with Neville, Seamus and Dean, the three second-year boys who hadn't gone AWOL, and waited for the Thestrals to move them up to the castle at what Harmony considered a glacial pace. While Hermione and Neville were talking about Herbology, Harmony was re-examining her new "Dragon Scale" body armour that her mother had packed for her as a very late birthday present. Interweaved layers of ceramic plates, in similar manner to how SI tank composite armour worked, but using thinner and more portable plates, provided protection against small-arms that did not reach the designation of anti-material weapons (i.e. 12.5mm or higher calibre ammunition). It was fairly re-useable (multiple hits could be absorbed), easily repaired if damaged, and wasn't that much more expensive to produce compared to other body armour types. It was based on the layered scale system used by dragons, but capacitor/reactor technology had yet to reach the level where damage dissipation fields could be put into place on a personal item (nor, for that matter, could the reactors fit into even the largest of land vehicles), thus it was still quite heavy so that the wearer could take the hits and survive. Still, it was a weight well within Harmony's tolerances.

After they'd gotten up to the castle, they waited in the Great Hall for the Sorting of the new first years. Luna ended up in Ravenclaw while Ginny came over to the Gryffindor table and took up the space Harmony had saved for her. "Welcome to Gryffindor, Ginny, I hope you don't turn into another unthinking blunderer that thinks not planning is the gutsy thing to do when faced with a difficult situation." Harmony told her, pretending to be grave and pompous, then smiled and clapped the orange-haired girl, who had looked nervous again after being relieved from the Sorting result, around the shoulders "I'm not Percy, Ginny, don't expect me to be a prick unless it's a matter of lives at stake… actually, don't expect me to be a prick period, I do not come equipped with one." There were a few laughs at that.

Hermione had given up on trying to correct her twin's language "You know, it would be nice if you dressed differently or wore your hair differently, Harmony…"

Harmony rolled her eyes and leaned across the table to whisper "I know you are ashamed to have me as an identical twin Hermione but here's a briefing for you: I don't give a shit, as long as I am around to keep you alive, I will keep you alive and as content as possible, do you understand me?"

"And if contentment includes you not using foul language?" Hermione whispered back.

Harmony sat back down "Sorry, Hermione, that falls into the realm of the impossible. In the meantime, I'm surprised you aren't wondering about Harry and Ron yet…"

Someone gasped at the evening issue of the _Daily Prophet_ they had received by owl delivery before the Sorting and had now opened while waiting for the food. "Have you seen this?" The boy hissed and spread it on the table for the others near him to read.

Harmony sighed and rubbed her eyes "You know, if we were in a fiction story, I would bet you anything that paper has an article on Harry and Ron. Actually, I believe that paper probably has an article on the two of them anyways."

It took roughly two minutes for them to hear that a flying Ford Anglia had been spotted by muggles flying north over Britain from London. Harmony got up from her seat at the table, turned about to face the wall, then leaned forward to meet it in a silent bump that was more exaggerated than any head-desk would have been. "Why did I ever think that Harry and Ron were not total morons without a shred of sense?" She asked calmly after turning around.

"Maybe because you and I can also be total morons without a shred of sense?" Hermione grimaced, eyes flicking side to side once and conveying the message that the whole table could at least occasionally be like that.

Harmony crossed over the bench again, sighing, and then crumpled into her seat, her face meeting the table as Dumbledore continued his start-of-year speech. Shortly after the Opening Feast ended, Fred and George snuck out to see what Dumbledore had gone to do a short while into the Feast, and found to their amazement that the Whomping Willow had been rather… damaged. Harmony could do nothing more than sigh and shake her head. Forget running headlong into brick walls like the boys probably did at King's Cross, ramming the one tree that hit back was beyond even their expected parameters of stupidity…

* * *

A/N: Sorry guys but I think the most interesting things are probably going to be Fourth Year and later, so don't expect the first three Harmony Shepard books to be that long, just had that epiphany… Expect Book 4 and 7 to be the longest ones as the most things happen in those years (i.e. Harry is stupidest in those two years). However, 6 will probably have the most impact on the plot of all that comes after, as well as hit a lot of readers rather hard.

* * *

Hermione was fuming from the stupidity of the boys as the two girls lurked outside the Gryffindor Portrait Hole waiting to ambush the boys. "Password?" The Fat Lady asked.

"Er…" Harry started. Hermione dashed from cover with acceleration higher than normal human capability allowed for and pounced on them.

"_There _you are! Where have you _been_? The most _ridiculous _rumours—someone said you'd been expelled for crashing a flying _car_—" Hermione started.

"Well, we haven't been expelled." Harry forced a grin.

Hermione looked scandalised though not altogether surprised, pouting and letting her eyelids droop in a bored/annoyed face. "You're not telling me you _did _fly here?"

"Skip the lecture, and tell us the new password. Please, Hermione…" Ron said tiredly.

"It's 'wattlebird,' but that's not the point—" Hermione seemed even more incensed at Ron's inattentive expression, but she was cut off by the Fat Lady opening and thunderous applause greeting the two boys.

Harmony snorted "Lecture first, rewards later, Hermione, you have to make them squirm."

Ron, who had apparently picked up a bit of what Harmony had lectured him on before (last school year and over the summer in owls) about not offending Hermione so often, had the good graces to look less happy and more surprised at his new role as folk hero. Well, he probably WAS more surprised since although he'd gotten better Harmony could still read the other three of their little group like open books and Ron was clearly surprised.

"Brilliant! Inspired! What an entrance! Flying a car right into the Whomping Willow, people'll be talking about that one for years—" Lee Jordan was yelling.

"Good for you!" That was a random now-fifth year that Harmony knew by voice, sight and name but who she believed Harry had never spoken to. People were slapping Harry and Ron on the back, both boys' grimaces slowly became embarrassed grins, and Hermione, as expected, kept fuming silently.

"Why couldn't we've come in the car, eh?" Fred and George were saying while Hermione sighed and rubbed her eyes, shaking hear head at the riot-like party in the common room.

"I know this party is a pointless activity, but at least Ron isn't celebrating his 'great deed' of arriving by flying car… and it's not like Harry would ever want even more attention" Hermione said in a rather defeated voice.

"Come, sister, let us get out of this place, we want to fall asleep before Parvati and Lavender arrive and begin blubbering about this."

"You are correct, as usual…" They made their way upstairs to their dorm, where they'd already settled in before coming down to intercept the boys outside the Portrait Hole. "Harmony?"

"Yes?"

"You do you I'm proud to have you as a sister, right?" Hermione looked anxious at this point.

Harmony shrugged, not liking that uncertain look on a face that matched her own for every detail except the parts imbued by personality "Okay."

"Harmony, I'm serious."

"If I didn't think you were serious I wouldn't have said okay, Hermione." Harmony smirked at her sister's facepalm.

"I walked into that one didn't I?"

"Yes, now, for the sake of not having to listen to Parvati and Lavender gossip, can you PLEASE go to sleep?"

* * *

Harmony was fortunate enough to have earplugs immediately on-hand (after the lesson learned with Fluffy and setting off flashbangs near herself) and put them in just before the exceedingly loud letter known as a Howler went off in Ron's face much as had happened with Neville last year. "—STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE! LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND HARRY COULD BOTH HAVE _DIED_! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED… YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME."

Harmony was duly impressed at the fact that the cutlery was shaking on the tables due to the sheer volume and dust fell from the enchanted ceiling—dust which Dumbledore actually had to vanish with a flick of his wand before it could land on anyone's food. If magic could amplify sound that much, it should be entirely possible to engineer high-powered sonic weapons based on similar physical or psychic principles. The red envelope burst into flames and curled into ashes after it finished. Chatter in the Great Hall took some time to resume, and Hermione was looking at Ron's forehead, the only part of him visible over the table, which was a bright red with embarrassment.

"Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron, but you…" Hermione started, having put down _Voyages with Vampires_, which she had been hiding behind and had a plot more full of holes than an equal weight of Swiss cheese.

"Don't tell me…" Ron began with a frown of irritation, but that disintegrated after he sat up in his seat and met Hermione's eyes, his voice shrank and he suddenly seemed depressed. "Alright, you're right as usual… I kind of deserved it." He sounded defeated, and Harmony's surprise only lasted a few moments before she realized what was going on and recalibrated the Psi-shield she'd erected around her sister to block attempts at subconscious compulsions.

Her mother and psychic trainers had warned her that Hermione's psychic abilities, though latent due to lack of training, could occasionally flare up. The problem was that Harmony didn't have enough skill at shielding to form more than two shields that were not inside her own mind at once, and even that was rather tiring, so she'd have to rely on her own mental defences while keeping the shield bubble around her sister instead of herself. Right now the compulsion that had been transmitted was one to boost Ron's self-confidence slightly, to make Ron less insecure and therefore more willing to admit and accept mistakes. Apparently Hermione had a dead-on read of where almost all of Ron's bad traits came from, namely his insecurities and lack of self-confidence. This meant they might have to push forward the reveal of the family business to Hermione from age eighteen to sixteen or fifteen… she would no doubt be astounded at how well they'd kept the secret… particularly with the at least once-every-few-months attempts to attack the household. Since they had begun living in England, from when the twins were three years old, the assassination attempts had actually gotten into the house on five occasions, and it was a miracle Hermione hadn't been around for any of them.

There was no more time to ponder the subject of Ron though, Harry looked extremely guilty and rather ill, he had stayed with the Weasleys over the summer and from what Harmony knew was abused before into a mindset of blaming himself for everything. "It's not your fault, Harry, you just did what any other twelve-year-old boy would do in similar circumstances assuming they were with someone who knew how to drive flying cars." She patted him on the back, and he looked marginally less morose. For obvious reasons, she didn't include the lecture part which roughly came to _Boys your age are not known for intelligence or common sense after all_.

Professor McGonagall was moving along the Gryffindor table, handing out course schedules. It seemed first and second periods were double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs. Harry, Ron and Hermione were chatting amicably as they walked toward the Greenhouses, while Harmony, as usual for her, stayed silent. The fact that she had noticed the crowd outside the greenhouses didn't encourage her verbosity. They were waiting for Professor Sprout, and she was walking toward the Greenhouses, holding armfuls of very large bandages with the Whomping Willow in the background, some of its branches in slings. With the grumpy-looking Herbology professor was the fraud Gilderoy Lockhart, wearing sweeping turquoise robes and a perfectly angled turquoise hat.

Harmony had yet to inform Hermione of all the inaccuracies in Lockhart's books and how she suspected he used Memory Charms to steal the accomplishments of others. She did tell Hermione that most of the "heroic feats" of Lockhart's books were far above second-year level and therefore nothing useful for them. She really wanted a brick though, the man's head was so dense his brain would probably make for good cement splattered across said brick.

"Oh, hello there! Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels…" He beamed in a way that made Harmony want to slowly saw all his teeth out with her combat knives.

"Greenhouse three today, chaps!" Professor Sprout barked, instead of her usual cheerful attitude. People murmured in interest, they had only worked in Greenhouse One before, Greenhouse Three had far more interesting and dangerous plants… Sprout opened the door to the smell of damp soil and fertilizer—in other words, shit—plus the perfume of umbrella-sized flowers hanging from the ceiling. Harry was about to follow Ron and Hermione inside when Lockhart grabbed him and Harmony's hand twitched in desire to break the fool's paw in half for touching her friend so uncouthly.

"Harry! I've been wanting a word — you don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you, Professor Sprout?" The asshole said.

"Professor, I'll keep an eye on these two so they don't do anything… stupid." Harmony gestured at Lockhart behind his back and Professor Sprout's scowling face nodded at her. Dumbledore had briefed all the Heads of Houses on what had happened with the Philosophers Stone and Sprout knew she could take Lockhart out if need be.

"That's the ticket." Lockhart said before he shut the greenhouse door in her face.

"Harry… Harry, Harry, Harry…" Lockhart was trying to shake his head sagely, but Harmony was reminded of dangling a baseball in front of someone's face, she only wished for a baseball bat. "When I heard—well, of course, it was all my fault. Could have kicked myself." Harry obviously had no idea what the flying (literally) fuck he was talking about "Don't know when I've been more shocked. Flying a car to Hogwarts! Well, of course, I knew at once why you'd done it. Stood out a mile. Harry, Harry, _Harry._"

The glare off his teeth even when he wasn't talking made Harmony wonder what his reaction would be if she stained his teeth black. She also wondered how the hell the guy ate his food if he was obviously so terrified of getting his teeth dirty. "Gave you a taste for publicity, didn't I?" Harmony's pupils narrowed significantly as she felt rage pooling in her, her chest tightening as Lockhart blabbered on "Gave you the _bug. _You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn't wait to do it again."

_Hah, Harry's more famous than you are without trying, you arrogant toe-rag._ Harmony thought with a vicious smirk. _I have a feeling Dumbledore's going to need a new DADA Professor again next year, if for no reason other than me having blown this man's brains out._ "Oh no, Professor, see…" Harry started innocently.

"Harry, Harry, Harry…" Lockhart tried to grab Harry's shoulder but Harmony pulled the boy back into her chest before Lockhart could lay a finger on him. Given she was currently something on the order of twenty centimetres taller than Harry, the scrawny git, and was rather more developed than typical for her age, it was no longer possible for Lockhart to touch Harry's shoulder without risking contact that could constitute sexual harassment, assuming that was a crime in the wizarding world.

Lockhart however didn't notice how close he was to getting a 10mm FMJ round through the head as he leaned toward Harry's blushing face "_I understand_. Natural to want a bit more once you've had that first taste — and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head — but see here, young man, you can't start _flying cars _to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, all right? Plenty of time for all that when you're older. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking! 'It's all right for him, he's an internationally famous wizard already!' But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I'd say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't they?" _Ah yes, we call this small collective group "The Wizarding World"!_ Harmony thought viciously as the fool gabbled on and Harry squirmed in her firm, protective grasp. Chances were that at his age he still thought girls had cooties… how amusing… "All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" Lockhart glanced at Harry's scar dismissively "I know, I know—it's not quite as good as winning _Witch Weekly's _Most- Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, as I have—but it's a _start, _Harry, it's a _start._" He gave him a wink and strode off, not even acknowledging Harmony.

Harry was standing rather stiffly in Harmony's arms when she moved around to face him. "Harry, ignore him, he's too stupid to understand that you don't want fame, that you don't want everyone to look at you differently, but you don't need to respond to him, we know who you really are and how you think, and that's what matters, Harry, it's better having a few true friends than a lot of fickle ones like he has. We will destroy him, Harry, his books tell us he's a fraud and I WILL ue them to tear him down this year. Leave this up to me, Harry, you're too much of a target for him to act right now, I'm not, so I would do better taking him down. Is this okay with you or should we make other plans?"

"It's okay with me, Harmony, thanks for defending me from him earlier…" Harry smiled at her, then dusted off his robes where Lockhart had grabbed him earlier, now with an expression of disgust. "Let's get back to class."

Professor Sprout was standing behind a trestle bench in the center of the greenhouse with about twenty pairs of different-coloured earmuffs lying on the bench. When Harry and Harmony took up their place with Ron and Hermione, she said "We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?"

"Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative, it is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state." Hermione answered.

"It's a plant of the genus Mandragora, completely harmless unless you are psychic, because it emits psychic pulses rapidly upon mechanical stimulation of the roots of the leaves and these pulses are speculated to cause psychic feedback in such ways as to either knock you out or kill you. Pulse strength grows with Mandrake age as the emitter tissues grow larger." Harmony whispered to Hermione as Sprout gave Gryffindor ten points, it seemed wizards liked to do things in tens. "That's the scientific, quantitative answer."

"The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?"

Hermione almost knocked Harry's glasses off as her hand shot up "The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it."She said succinctly. Then she whispered to Harmony "Sounds about right."

Sprout, who'd just awarded Gryffindor another ten points, continued with "Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still very young." She pointed at a row of deep trays with a hundred or so tufty little plants, purplish green in colour, growing there in neat rows.

"So their pulses won't kill yet." Harmony concluded. Said pulses had an aural _perception_ component to them, placed in the mind to cause sensory overload, which was the main component that allowed the pulses to break through and cause feedback to overload the mind, thus causing death.

"Everyone take a pair of earmuffs," Harmony grabbed a pink and fluffy pair no one else seemed to want, it seemed less worn than the others, and a brief psychic examination said the earmuffs didn't block sound, rather, they made the mind not _perceive_ sound. "When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are _completely_ covered." The shields apparently were affected by alignment with the other half of the emitter set then… ""When it is safe to remove them, I will give you the thumbs-up. Right — earmuffs _on_."

Harmony snapped the earmuffs on and they shut out her perception of sound completely. Sprout put the pink, fluffy pair over her own ears, rolled up the sleeves of her robes, grabbed one of the plants firmly, and pulled hard. Harmony, who had been forcibly trained to look past psychic illusions, saw an engorged brownish, almost woody-looking taproot just like in all muggle photographs of the plant, but as soon as she stopped focusing on tunneling past the illusion she figured out why everyone else looked surprised, they were seeing a very muddy, ugly baby wailing at the top of its lungs. Apparently this was part of the psychic defence pattern of the plant, the appearance would throw someone's instinctive defence off allowing assault on the sense of hearing, which was then used to catalyze the overload of the mind. At least, that was the theory, they'd have to test it sometime in the weapons labs Mum could send magical Mandrake strains to…

Sprout grabbed a large plant pot from under the table and plunged the Mandrake into it, burying him in the dark, damp compost until only the leaves were still visible. Harmony felt the instinctively released psychic attack pattern subside quickly as soon as the pressure on the root of the leaves was released, and turn into a compulsion field to put the plant back into the dirt, though the annoying wailing that any psychic would perceive was probably more than enough for that purpose of getting them to put it in the ground. After all, it was a lot easier than breaking up what was basically a very sturdy piece of wood and if Wizard-kind had shown one trait to date it was, in the vast majority of cases, incredible laziness, especially regarding qualitative versus quantitative explanations. Sprout dusted off her hands and gave them the thumbs-up, then removed her won earmuffs. "As our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their cries won't kill yet. However, they _will _knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack up. Four to a tray—there is a large supply of pots here—compost in the sacks over there—and be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, it's teething." Harmony had a horrible thought as she looked at the spiky, dark red plant Sprout had slapped, which had been inching dark red feelers over Sprout's shoulder. If there were so many psychic defences already present in plants, maybe whoever created Pokémon was not in fact making stuff up after all.

_HOLY SHIT! Wait, that doesn't make any sense, the physics of Pokémon as depicted in the anime or manga do not stay consistent enough for it to make sense… that's one thing to be happy about at least, no chance of THAT coming true._

"That Lockhart's something, isn't he?" Harmony heard form the next table—as she was dumping dragon dung in their pots and working it into the soil—where Neville, Susan Bones, Hannah Abott, and a curly-haired Hufflepuff boy she thought was called Justin Finch-Fletchley were gathered. "Awfully brave chap. Have you read his books? I'd have died of fear if I'd been cornered in a telephone booth by a werewolf, but he stayed cool and—zap—just _fantastic_. My name was down for Eton, you know. I can't tell you how glad I am I came here instead. Of course, Mother was slightly disappointed, but since I made her read Lockhart's books I think she's begun to see how useful it'll be to have a fully trained wizard in the family." Another Lockhart fan too stupid to realize that either those books were all fictitious—unlikely as they were too detailed for Lockhart to have come up with them—or he stole other people's experiences… Harmony almost felt sorry for Justin, other than the fact that Justin was obviously an idiot and thus didn't deserve sympathy.

Professor Sprout make re-potting the Mandrakes look extremely easy… and it was, after Harmony pulled out her large, menacing serrated combat knife and waved it around her Mandrake. The semi-sentient plant she held immediately went stiff in terror and stopped acting like the others, which were squirming, kicking, flailing their sharp, hard fists, and gnashing their teeth. Harry spent ten whole minutes trying to squash a fat one into a pot before Harmony, who had finished her tenth re-potting by now (she only figured out holding the knife with her teeth was good enough to scare the things into submission after the fifth plant), grabbed it from him, marched over the Sprout, and used gestures to ask for a larger pot. When she got back after finishing the job, she glared at the boy and wrote a note that read: _LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP ON MINOR, INSIGNIFICANT THINGS FROM PROFESSORS, SNAPE AND CERTAIN DADA PROFS EXCLUDED._

Harry sighed visibly and nodded slowly, so Harmony knew she had definitely not gotten the point through his thick skull, but it did not matter, at least she tried, as per her duty as one of Harry's first and best friends. By the end of the class, Harmony was probably the only one not covered in dirt, though she and Hermione were both not yet sweaty or aching due to their higher-efficiency metabolism as compared to Ron's absurdly inefficient high body temperature metabolism. Sure, it seemed that Ron's metabolism was overall faster than average so he wasn't putting on much weight form his appetite (they also noticed that during times when Ron ate less his temperature dropped to compensate, which was odd), but the twin girls were much faster than him and they ate far less due to their metabolisms being more efficient. According to Kane it was "the result of extreme genetic fine-tuning of my metabolism", according to Harmony, it was "to make us the greatest ass-kicking persons known to humanity". Everyone trudged back to the castle for a quick wash in the bathrooms—only washing their faces, really, since there was no time to shower—and then the Gryffindors went off to Transfiguration.

McGonagall's class was a disaster for most, Harry was giving his beetle a lot of exercise as it scuttled over his desktop avoiding his wand. Ron was having nasty wand malfunctions due to having broken his wand crashing into the Whomping Willow arriving at the school. He accidentally squashed his beetle in the smokescreen his wand had put out and had to ask for a new one. Hermione was intently doing everything by the book and had quickly obtained results due to sheer focus. Harmony, on the other hand, waited for her sister to do it first, then pointed her wand at the beetle and used raw intent to force the mass in the beetle to transform into the mass in a button. She believed spells and such were simply mnemonics due to the possibility of wordless, gesture-less or even wand-less magic. She wasn't wrong for most spells, though a rare few actually required that you move your wand in specific ways or that the wand be pointed at specific places at specific times.

As they were leaving, Harmony heard Ron whacking his broken wand on the desk "Stupid—" whack "useless—" whack "thing—" whack…

"Write home for another one." Harry suggested as the wand let off a series of bangs.

"Oh, yeah, and get another Howler back." The wand was hissing by the time Ron shoved it in his bag "'_It's your own fault your wand got snapped_—'"

Ron seemed even more morose at Hermione showing off her handful of perfect coat buttons produced in transfiguration. Harmony had only made three, blue with a knife and fork symbol for a restaurant, green with a gas station symbol, and the last red with a generic tank profile image. She had spent the rest of the class doing the already-assigned homework after showing the buttons to McGonagall and receiving permission.

* * *

A/N: The aforementioned buttons are from a pit stop sign, the one with these three symbols can be found in Battlefield 2 or one of its expansion packs, I forget which, though they weren't coloured the same way as Harmony coloured hers.

* * *

"What've we got this afternoon?" Harry asked, trying to change the subject and stop Ron from frowning at his own failures.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts." Hermione stated immediately.

Harmony glanced at her sister's schedule, then did a double-take "WHY… have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?" Hermione blushed furiously at that and jammed the schedule back into her bag before Ron could finish gaping and make a grab to check for himself.

* * *

Harmony rolled her eyes as she wrapped her arms protectively around Harry again to shield him from the sheer idiocy of Lockhart a bit, mentally narrating: _One Encounter with Colin Creepy the camera-wielding fan-boy later… we get the Modern Fraud._

"Let me just say that handing out signed pictures at this stage of your career isn't sensible — looks a tad bigheaded," _You're practically the emperor of bigheadedness, Lockhart, now fuck off!_ Harmony's thought angrily as she helped Harry shuffle behind her back to her other side to get away from the creep "Harry, to be frank. There may well come a time when, like me, you'll need to keep a stack handy wherever you go, but" Lockhart chuckled "I don't think you're quite there yet." _AND HE NEVER WILL BE YOU ARROGANT MOTHERFUCKER!_

Harmony was, for some odd reason, very tempted to blow the man's brains out before he could further scar or mentally de-habilitate young children and impressionable teenagers.

Lockhart finally stopped trying to grab Harry after Harmony batted his hand away from her vicinity for the fifth time, which was also when they reached the DADA classroom. Harry, Harmony and Ron scrambled for a seat at the very back while Hermione sat just in front of them, though she looked like she was doing it just for friendly solidarity instead of a real desire to get away from the Thing up at the front of the class. Harmony watched Lockhart carefully for stupid moves the ponce might pull that could prompt her to shoot him, but alas, no such luck.

"You could've fried an egg on your face." Ron whispered to Harry "You'd better hope Creevey doesn't meet Ginny, or they'll be starting a Harry Potter fan club."

"Shut up." Harmony snapped before Harry could finish opening his mouth to talk "That's the last thing we want that git to hear." She would have liked to use much more descriptive language but her sister was here, along with other foolish, innocent youths.

Once the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and the room went silent. He reached forward and picked up Neville Longbottom's copy of _Travels with Trolls_, holding it up to show his winking portrait on the front. "Me," he pointed to it and winked as well "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of _Witch Weekly's_ Most-Charming-Smile Award—but I don't talk about that." _It sounded like you just did._ Harmony's mind stated. "I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by _smiling _at her!" The wait for laughter resulted in a few grimaces from the class "I see you've all bought a complete set of my books—well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about—just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in—" He handed out the parchments and returned to the front of the class "You have thirty minutes…start…_now_!"

Harmony looked down at her paper and blinked, it seemed it was time to bring her flattery skills up a notch… no, not true, more like bullshitting skills really, since she'd insert a lot of sarcasm that she doubted Lockhart would comprehend.

_1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite color?_ Lilac, the most amazing colour in existence.

_2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?_ To rid the world of evil, a task only he could possibly be capable of, and to market his own range of hair-care potions so that we may all attain the glory his hair has had the fortune to attain.

_3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?_ There are so many astonishing achievements I feel I cannot pick a specific one, I would say his greatest achievement is having so many great achievements.

The bullshit ran down the whole scroll of parchment to:

_54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?_ Harmony between all magical and non-magical peoples, something only he could possibly bring about.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the scrolls and scanned through them quickly, preening himself absent-mindedly at the same time "Tut, tut…hardly any of you remembered that my favourite color is lilac. I say so in _Year with the Yeti. _And a few of you need to read _Wanderings with Werewolves _more carefully—I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples—though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!" He winked at them again and Harmony was seized by an urge to gouge his eyes out for being such an egotistical imbecile. Ron looked at Lockhart with an expression of disbelief while Seamus and Dean at the front of the class were shaking in silent laughter. Hermione on the other hand was paying attention and gave a start when he said her name "…but Miss Hermione Granger and Miss Harmony Shepard knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions—good girl! In fact…" her got to the end of her scroll "full marks! Where are Miss Granger and Miss Shepard?" Hermione raised a trembling hand while Harmony lazily put her hand up, looking utterly bored while Harry and Ron had expressions of betrayals on their faces "Excellent! Quite excellent! Take ten points each for Gryffindor! And so… to business…"

He bent down and retrieved a large, covered cage from behind his desk. "Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizard-kind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm." The only thing Hermione could think of was _At least whatever it is looks small enough to kill with a grenade launcher or submachine gun._

The class was silent again, Dean and Seamus had ceased laughing and Neville, in the front row, was cowering in his seat.

"I must ask you not to scream, it might provoke them." Lockhart stage-whispered. Most of the class held their breath as Lockhart whipped off the cover.

"Yes," he said with a flourish "_Freshly caught Cornish pixies._" Seamus let out a snort that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror "Yes?" He grinned at Seamus. Harmony was privately wondering if Seamus had eye protection from the glare of those teeth.

"Well, they're not—they're not very—_dangerous, _are they?" Seamus choked out, trying not to laugh loudly.

Lockhart waggled a finger at Seamus which made Harmony wonder how loud the man would scream if she sawed said finger off bit by bit. Apparently her self-control was still out of whack after Voldemort's assault on her mental barriers in June and her completely losing it… "Don't be so sure! Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!" _Well, at least he got that right…_ she thought grudgingly, since the things were annoying if you were incompetent, and a certain something up at the front of the room practically defined incompetence.

The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches tall, with pointed faces and annoyingly shrill voices. The moment the cover came off they started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizzare faces at the people nearest them. "Right, then…" Lockhart said loudly "Let's see what you make of them!" Harmony only had time to whip out her helmet from where it was clipped at her belt and jam it on her head before he opened the cage. She quickly fastened the buckles before looking back over the table she'd thrown onto its side as cover to see the rest of the class in total pandemonium. Two of them had grabbed Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air with anti-gravity fields, several shot through the windows, showering broken glass on the back row, and one had slammed itself into the table Harmony, Ron and Harry were taking cover behind and seemed a bit dazed as it hovered there. She grabbed it and promptly smashed its skull in with her fist, she used a bit too much force compacting and splattering the top half of the body across the ballistic plastic knuckles of the gloves she'd put on after washing up from Herbology. The bottom half went limp at once and she dropped it on the ground, then stomped it with her usual combat boots to make sure it was dead. Half the class was sheltering under their desks by this point and Lockhart was shouting "Come on now—round them up, round them up, they're only pixies!" He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and yelled "_Peskipiksi Pesternomi_!"

_I hear bullshit._ Harmony thought, she observed from behind her helmet's clear polarized plastic visor, which she'd just lowered over her eyes, as absolutely no effect manifested. One of the pixies seized Lockhart's wand and threw it out the window too. He gulped and dove under his own desk, almost getting squashed by Neville who fell a moment later when the Chandelier's anchorage to the ceiling finally failed.

The bell rung and most of the class stormed through the exit. Harmony, Hermione, Ron and Harry were about to leave at the end of the crowd when Lockhart blocked them off, saying "Well, I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." Then he swept form the room and shut the door behind him.

Harmony wished she had a shotgun, because the pixies were flitting around rather quickly and were small targets. Still, if there was ever a time to practice SMG skills and reaction speed some more… "Guys, get out, I'll deal with them on my own."

"But…"

"I'll be okay, guys, I know how to deal with this situation just fine." Harmony shooed the other three out of the room before slamming the door to a high-pitched scream, as a pixie was cut in half at the waist by the door and the bottom half fell limply inside the room and the top half kept screaming for a few seconds outside the door, then stopped, probably fainting from loss of blood and sheer shock.

Two pixies grabbed her hair and tried to lift her, she seized them in her hand and squeezed as hard as she could, bones pulverizing and flesh tearing under her grasp as she crushed the magic-resistant but physically fragile critters to a pulp. Flinging them aside she whipped out her SMG with her right hand, taking the safety lock off and safety off before she even had it in firing position, then grabbing the magazine with her left hand, practically holding the bullpup-configuration magazine to her chest while her right hand held the trigger grip, aiming down the top of the scope—which was set quite far forward on the gun and required special designing of the flash suppressor—where the effective iron sights of the gun for close combat were situated.

What followed was a pile of dead pixies shoved in the cage, many rent asunder completely by the power of 10mm FMJ rounds, and quite a bunch of brass bullet casings being removed from the scene of the massacre by Harmony—she counted them to make sure she didn't miss any, knowing full well how many round she had fired. The classroom walls also acquired a number of pockmarks and some pieces of furniture were damaged.

When Harmony caught up with the other three in the Common Room, when they had recess, Ron was still muttering angrily "Can you _believe _him?"

"He just wanted to give us some hands-on experience." Hermione defended.

"_Hands on_? Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing…" Harmony snapped at her sister.

"Rubbish, you've read his books—look at all those amazing things he's done—" Hermione waved her hand dismissively.

"He SAYS he's done, books aren't always right, Hermione, or do you think _The Wizard of Oz_ is right too, and all those other books that say witches are green, warty and wrinkled?" Harmony growled.

"What she said." Harry added helpfully, gesturing at Harmony, Ron agreed with a silent nod.

"Hmpf…" Hermione ignored them for quite a bit after that and Harmony had the impression that trying to get her sister to see sense at this point was roughly as effective as ramming a brick wall with one's head. Then again, Harmony herself was just as stubborn if not more so.

* * *

A/N: **PLEASE VOTE ON HARMONY'S ANIMAGUS FORM ON THE POLL ON MY PROFILE.** The choices are as follows:

Dementor: Obviously, to complete the outfit she's going to purchase a scythe, for both fashion sense and as a tool. Is probably the most nimble of the options, but second slowest (before BES) However, this is the only option which lacks built-in armour and thus can't take as much damage.

Blast-Ended Skrewt: equipped with sting, large pincers, and the ability to spit small plasma blasts, this is a formidable thing for its size, though a bit slow and not able to vertically raise its front too far off the ground, so it has a hard time getting over ledges.

Coleopian Tank: Four-legged, the size of a 2170s or so Main Battle Tank, and able to face one head-on with its thick, durable plating and twin molecular/metallic bond disruptor ("corrosive") cannons. Biggest weakness by far is that it is too big for lots of things, though the cannons usually allow it to force its way through. It is not easily airlifted, requiring a heavy transport plane, unlike any of the other options which can fit in a chopper.

Hydralisk: Compact enough to fit in human-sized buildings, and roughly two tons of carapace, spine launchers, scythes, and sharp teeth. Highly resistant to most non-heavy weapons damage especially give the psi-shield built in from her being an Animagus. This is basically the compromise between the aforementioned three options.

Other Highly Hazardous Life Form: If you don't like any of the above, tell me in a review and vote for this on the poll.

A Non-Hazardous Life Form: If you want Harmony to be furious at how non-dangerous and non-weaponized her Animagus form is, vote here and review with what animal you think would be right. Personally, I'd say this would be OOC for her.

Something very, very important was said in this chapter, try to figure out what it is.

REVIEW!


	3. Threat Reassessment

A/N: Sorry for my indiscretion, the **Animagus Poll** is now up on my profile.

My original mental image of **house elves** (at least the older ones) before I saw the movie for Chamber of Secrets: We now know that George Lucas did not have to CGI **Yoda** when making his movies.

* * *

Chapter 3: Threat Reassessment

The only vaguely noticeable thing of the next few weeks was that Ginny didn't seem to be doing too well at making friends and was getting rather withdrawn, but Harmony chalked that up to her being homesick. The older girl told the redhead that she could come hang out with the four of them whenever she wished, then left her to her own devices. The fact that she tended to blush near Harry made Harmony think Ginny had a bit of a hero-worship crush on the Boy-Who-Lived and was afraid of embarrassing herself in his presence. She would have to rectify that if Ginny was to have any hope of eventually being with the kid.

On the other hand, Harry seemed to have acquired a much more disturbing stalker in the form of Colin Creepy. Harmony had heard of many bad naming coincidences, such as a law firm named Dumas and MacPhail or something, which was phonetically Dumbass and McFail, but Colin Creepy… sorry, Creevey, for a stalker was even worse.

Life didn't seem to be going too well to Harmony and Hermione's friends, as Hedwig was still pissed at Harry, though Harmony offered Flare for Harry to use if he wanted to send letters. The tiny, speedy owl had deliveries only every couple weeks or so between the sisters and home, but Harry declined, obviously uncomfortable with borrowing others' stuff. Ron's malfunctioning wand shot out of his hands and nailed Flitwick between the eyes on Friday in Charms, creating a large, pulsing green boil where it struck in a display of uncontrolled magic interacting with the magical defences of someone's body. If it had been a non-psychic, chances were nothing would have happened as no psychic interaction or destabilization would have occurred… alternatively, their head could have been splattered across the ground if the thing decided to explode. Malfunctioning magical objects tended to be a bit hazardous…

It was evident by Friday afternoon that Harry was glad to reach the weekend, the four of them had plans to visit Hagrid on Saturday morning. Harmony, going upstairs to the boys' dorms to wake Harry and Ron (she had already awoken Hermione, after waiting for the Sun to be half up before waking her sister), stopped still as she approached the half-open door of the second-year boys' dormitory. "Quidditch practice! Come on!" Oliver Wood's voice was saying in a loud whisper.

"Oliver, it's the crack of dawn." Harry sounded like he was about to croak at any moment.

"Exactly, it's part of our new training program. Come on, grab your broom, and let's go. None of the other teams have started training yet; we're going to be first off the mark this year—" Oliver sounded like he'd gone off the deep and dangerous end.

"Yes you will be, Oliver, but listen to me before you say anything." Harmony stated quietly from the doorway, her eyes fixed on the tall, broad, muscular sixth year boy, who was taller than her by a good twenty or so centimetres right now but shrank under the ice-cold brown eyes watching him with utmost indifference and radiating danger like an aura. She was, in fact, pushing the feeling of danger off herself in waves in Wood's direction to buy time to get her point through. "You didn't tell the team this last night, correct? Yes or no, Wood."

"Yes."

"So they expected to be able to sleep in this morning because they had nothing scheduled, right?"

"They should have expected—"

"Yes or no, Wood?"

"Yes."

"So they would have stayed up later than they would have if they knew there would be practice this morning, yes?"

"Yes."

"Therefore they won't be as alert or as awake as they should be for a first-practice-of-term, yes?"

Wood sagged visibly "Yes…"

"I'm sure you have many strategies and plays you want to go over with them, Wood, and good luck. This is only one practice, it won't ruin you for the season, now go wake the rest of the team up and I'll get Harry down to the pitch in twenty minutes."

"Okay…" Wood suddenly looked taken aback "_What?_"

"Watch what the team does as you run through your original plan for this morning, Oliver Wood, watch them, and learn from this. I know you want to play professional Quidditch one day and after your glory days, you want to be a coach. There is much you have to learn, Wood." _Most people were never woken up at random times of the night starting at age eight to go brawl in the ring with men three times my weight and six times my volume._ Harmony thought as she coolly watched the boy gape at her. _Most people aren't conditioned to be ready to fight for their lives at any time, any place, under any sort of conditions, in any sort of physical state._ "But you WILL learn. Now, go wake the rest of the team and I'll bring Harry down to the changing rooms in twenty minutes."

* * *

If she hadn't put him under psychic influence—his mind was stupidly malleable considering he'd been abused for ten years by his relatives, he wasn't nearly as jaded as he should have been—Harmony suspected Harry would have woken up at some point given he was draped over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She carried his broom and (in a bag) his Quidditch uniform in her other hand as she took him down to the pitch. Wood and everyone else already there raised his eyebrows at her as she set the boy down on the change-room bench, careful not to bang his head on the wall, and shook him a little. "Harry, wake up, it's time for Quidditch practice." She might have been physically gentle… but mentally she changed the compulsion to stay asleep into one to wake up, strengthening it continuously. It didn't take much, without that sleep compulsion, for Harry to wake up… and promptly bang his head on the wall as he jerked back in surprise from finding her nose roughly three inches away from his own. Harmony smirked at that "Well, good luck Harry, try to stay alive, and the rest of the team, please tease him as necessary to keep him awake." _That'll teach you to stay up late doing nothing but lazing around on a Friday night. You're probably going to be the one to have to take down Voldemort once and for all, you need to start training yourself to get what rest you can whenever you can._ "I'll tell Ron and Hermione where you are Harry, don't worry about that."

"Er…" Harry was rather inarticulate in the morning, it seemed.

"Well, good luck guys, and try not to die." Harmony spun around and walked out of the change-room without another word.

She had the misfortune to encounter Colin Creevey on the stairs back up to the boys' dormitory, he excitedly showed her his photo of Harry, herself and Lockhart "Look what I've got here! I've had it developed, I wanted to show you and Harry—" It featured Harry mostly hiding outside the frame with one arm showing and herself pinning Lockhart down by straddling one of his legs, one knee crushing his groin and the other knee stabilizing herself while she punched Lockhart repeatedly, occasionally grabbing his hair and slamming his head into the floor so hard it bounced. It seemed wizarding psychic photographs, using wizarding cameras that could take an impression of the person's mindset at the moment, actually worked and were able to use psi-projection to the mind to convey its image, using energy… _reflected from the psychic background radiation of the universe? Huh. These guys are using it without even trying to understand it, from what I've seen, that's normal in the magical world… their unwillingness to take quantitative proofs without twisting the results to suit the authorities' idea that wizards are superior, and thereby ruining the results is quite typical of close-minded civilizations._

"Will you get Harry to sign it?" Colin asked eagerly.

"_Listen here, kid, if you keep doing this it will just annoy Harry and me. I don't want to have to pin you to a wall and threaten or hurt you so badly you pee your pants, alright? The answer is NO in case you didn't figure that out yourself."_ Harmony would have liked to say, but there was no need to upset the kid, he was no threat, at least not yet, and could prove useful in the future. "Sorry, Colin, but Harry isn't enough of an egotistical asshole" he gasped at her language and she ignored him "to do that, whereas Lockhart is. If you want to understand why Harry's not a prick like Lockhart, go ask Harry. For your information, Harry's at Quidditch practice, though it may take them a while to get onto the field because Wood's going to brief them on a lot of stuff."

"Oh wow! I've never watched a Quidditch game before!" Colin said in a sort of awe. "He was the youngest House player in a hundred years, wasn't he, Harmony? Wasn't he?" Harmony wanted to teach him how not to sound like an annoying mosquito buzzing around one's head. For a kid so hopelessly annoying, it could entirely be possible that the best way to do it would be swatting him i.e. physically by clocking him a good one and then yelling at him to shut the fuck up. "He must be brilliant" _Yes… yes, he is quite brilliant on a broom._ Harmony thought with a small smile twitching on one side of her mouth in a smirk. "I've never flown. Is it easy? Does he use his broom? Is it the best one there is?"

"The more scared you are of flying, the worse you'll be, he uses his own broom, but it's not the best anymore, there's a newer model now." Harmony said trying to get rid of him.

"Is it true there are four balls? And two of them fly around trying to knock people off their brooms?" _Yes, there are four balls on a male human too, and any or all of them can be removed very painfully, may I point out._ That was what she would say if she wanted to terrify the boy for kicks, but nah…

"Yes, the Bludgers fly around trying to knock players off, the Beaters are supposed to keep them away from the others with their bats. The Quaffle is the big red one used to score goals and is completely useless because Quidditch was the stupidest team game ever designed by someone over age ten. The Snitch is worth fifteen goals, and rarely if ever does it not decide the match for the Seeker's team. Even stupider is the fact that the Snitch is so elusive and the game doesn't end until it's caught. Quidditch probably started as two people competing to catch a small gold ball, the Snitch, then they added Bludgers for some danger, then they added Chasers and Keepers to keep the audience from becoming bored only watching two guys in their stupid dick-waving contest, and finally they added Beaters for bodyguard work and to make the game not take too much of forever."

Colin's mouth opened and shut soundlessly several times, then he said "But… but…"

"Just because my friend plays a game doesn't mean it isn't pointless and stupid, even if he's playing the only position that has any real use. Just because society accepts it because it's the way it's always been doesn't mean it makes sense, Colin! You are Muggleborn, you should be able to see past this nonsense because you were raised in a rational world! Don't let the flashy lights distract you from the fact that the Wizarding World is deeply flawed and needs to change. Be ready to join up when things start changing, Colin, be ready. Have a good day." She strode past him up the stairs to the Second-Year Boys' Dorm and entered, leaving an eleven-year-old stunned before he shook off the "nonsense" the older girl had spewed at him and went down to the pitch to look for his idol.

* * *

Hermione and Ron were sitting together in the bleachers in front of and below Colin, who had his camera, of the old folding-box variety used in the Wizarding World, out. Harmony however was not with them when Harry and the team emerged from the changing rooms after the excessively long briefing. A little mist still hung over the grass in the stadium even though the sun was up completely now.

"Aren't you finished yet?" Ron sounded shocked.

"Haven't even started." Harry was staring at the toast and marmalade that Ron and Hermione had brought out of the Great Hall. "Wood's been teaching us new moves."

Harmony had been expecting this, hence she was standing next to the … "WOOD!" She boomed in outrage and the older boy flinched. "DID YOU GET THESE GUYS FOOD?" She sighed "I expected this of a fanatic like you, hence…" she held out the paper bag she'd filled with toast. There were no frills like butter, marmalade, jam or anything else, but it was enough to at least put some food in their bellies before practice. The team members thanked her and dug in, even an embarrassed-looking Wood.

After a quick feeding frenzy including drinking up what was in the water bottles Harmony had brought out, the team kicked off and raced around the pitch a few times to wake up more effectively. Harmony decided to go sit with Ron and Hermione in the stands,

"What's that funny clicking noise?" Fred called as they went around one of the corners of the field.

"Look this way, Harry! This way!" Colin cried in his shrill, pre-pubescent voice.

"Who's that?" Fred asked rather loudly, though Ron could barely hear it, Harmony and Hermione picked him up perfectly well.

"No idea." Harry lied similarly loudly. Harmony spotted people in green robes walking onto the field, broomsticks in hand, and narrowed her eyes, it was the Slytherin Quidditch Team, and that could only mean trouble. She pointed this out to Ron and Hermimone and they began making their way down the bleachers toward the stairs to ground level.

"What's going on?" Wood barked, though it wasn't directed at any of the team members, with a frown "Why's that first year taking pictures? I don't like it. He could be a Slytherin spy, trying to find out about our new training program."

"He's in Gryffindor." Harry told Wood.

"And the Slytherins don't need a spy, Oliver." George told Wood with a grim look on his face.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because they're here in person." George pointed out, audible to the twins even while they moved down the stands' stairwell they were currently in mostly as they'd drifted somewhat closer since the three of them entered the stairwell.

"I don't believe it! I booked the field for today! We'll see about this!" Wood hissed furiously. Wood, Harry, Fred and George landed followed by the three female Chasers of Gryffindor. "Flint!" Wood roared at the Slytherin Captain and Harmony internally winced, loss of control gave the enemy the initiative. Looking like you lost control was good, but she doubted any other Gryffindor was good enough to pull that off. "This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!"

Given that Marcus Flint had a nasty sneer, was very beefy, and obviously believed girls shouldn't be allowed to play Quidditch, Harmony immediately hated him. "Plenty of room for all of us, Wood." Well, that would be true if the two houses were not such bitter rivals. Six Slytherins were standing shoulder to shoulder, leering at the Gryffindors, and Harmony held her arm out, stopping Hermione and Ron from proceeding near the exit of the stands.

"Wait and see how this plays out." She told them. The two of them had learnt to accept her advice last year, so they did as they were told. Wood in the meantime was insisting that he'd booked the field.

"Ah, but I've got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape. '_I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practice today on the Quidditch field owing to the need to train their new Seeker._'" Flint said gloatingly.

"You've got a new Seeker? Where?" From behind the large figures came a seventh small, blonde, pointy-faced boy.

"Aren't you Lucius Malfoy's son?" Fred said with a look of utmost dislike. Harmony waved the other two with her forward at this point

"Funny you should mention Draco's father, let me show you the generous gift he's made to the Slytherin team." The Slytherins' grins grew even wider. They held out their obviously top-notch brooms "Very latest model. Only came out last month," Flint flicked something from the end of his own "I believe it outstrips the old Two Thousand series by a considerable amount. As for the old Cleansweeps" He smirked at Fred and George. Harmony surmised the Weasley twins must have Cleansweeps… "sweeps the board with them."

"What Ravenclaw his he have to pay to come up with that?" Harmony said to Ron and Hermione, who both smiled grimly as they walked toward the opposing fronts. "It's typical of Malfoy to be so egotistical he has to try to beat Harry at what Harry's the best in, it'll get Malfoy slaughtered even with the better broom. It was also very stupid of the Slytherins to let him buy their way onto the team, they aren't going to win anything this way…"

"Oh, look, a field invasion." Flint finally noticed them, which made Harmony almost feel sorry for him for being so bad at tactical awareness.

Harmony snorted loudly "Wow, Malfoy, so jealous that you have to try to pit yourself against Harry in Quidditch to try to feel less inferior? I should have seen this coming, what the hell are you even doing here?"

"Yeah, what the bloody hell is filth like you doing besmirching this pitch?" Ron asked, at Hermione's surprised look due to his vocabulary ("besmirch"), he said "I do read books, you know." To be fair, he'd only started regularly reading to not make a fool of himself as often in conversation with Hermione.

Malfoy bristled, but it was obvious he didn't have quite the guts to lash back after the beating he'd received last year "I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Shepard, Weasley, everyone's just been admiring the brooms my father's bought our team." Ron finally got a good look at the writing on the brooms and gaped at the seven superb brooms before him "Good, aren't they? But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too." Harmony internally snorted, she could ask her mother to trade a couple billion dollars into Galleons and acquire the entirety of the Nimbus Company along with some other broom companies if she so desired. The Wizarding exchange rate might have been lopsided favouring wizards against most muggles, but the richer muggles could theoretically overwhelm the whole market since SI's total liquid assets probably outweighed the entire British Wizarding Economy. "You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives; I expect a museum would bid for them." The Slytherin team howled with laughter at that.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to _buy _their way in. _They _got in on pure talent." Hermione snapped.

Malfoy's smug look turned into a snarl "No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood."

Alicia shrieked "_How dare you_!" at the same time that Flint and Warrington had to throw themselves in front of Malfoy to prevent Fred and George from jumping on him. It was obvious that Ron's self-control snapped at that as he seized his wand, directed it under Flint and Warrington's arms at Malfoy, and fired off a curse. Well, technically, it backfired, horribly. A jet of green light shot out the wrong end of Ron's wand, hitting him in the belly and sending him reeling back onto the grass at the same time as Harmony grabbed Warrington's shoulders and vaulted over him to nail Malfoy in the face with solid punch, before stopping Flint's attempt at a haymaker with a sharp jab into his shoulder joint and kicking him in the crotch. Warrington's attempt to kick her resulted in him getting spun around to slam face-first into the ground. "If anyone else would like to say something about my twin, please do so now… thank you."

There was silence. The Slytherins were too smart to challenge her now that two of their guys were groaning in pain and partly disabled and a third was completely knocked out cold. They didn't even have the guts to laugh as Hermione ran off toward Hagrid's hut with Ron draped over her shoulder, belching up the slugs that he'd synthesized inside his stomach from reformatting the mass in his stomach acid. Notably, the spell only affected what was perceived by wizards to be the inside of the stomach so did not affect the pits on the walls where acid was actually secreted into the lumen of the organ, which was good for Ron's staying alive and not having his stomach walls explode on him. It was supposed to last for about an hour and continuously transfigure adequate amounts of stomach acid into slugs—in other words, eating actually helped mix up the solution and disrupted the mass gathering process. She ran off to join them soon thereafter, leaving the Quidditch teams to resolve their differences on their own. None of the Slytherins wanted to risk casting a curse at her back, apparently…

"What happened, Harmony?" Colin had been trying to keep up with Hermione but had failed badly "Is he ill? But Harry and you can cure him, can't you?"

"Stop being annoying and get the hell out of my way, Colin!" Harmony barked, the alternative was either for her to shove him aside or be nastier and run over him i.e. grab his shoulders and do a forward flip over him , probably causing him to fall from her weight and hurt his knees before she let go and he was carried forward by momentum to smack his face into the ground.

"Nearly there, Ron, you'll be all right in a minute… almost there…" Harmony could hear Hermione reassuring Ron as they approached the cabin at high speed.

"Quick, behind here!" Harry hissed, yanking Hermione toward a bush, when they saw Lockhart emerging from the cabin wearing robes of pale mauve.

"It's a simple matter if you know what you're doing!" Hagrid slammed the door in his face at that.

"We gotta save time." Harmony said, looking at Ron, who she'd put down but was still heaving up slugs and seemed to be running short on breath with how long he'd been spewing for "Fuck waiting for him to leave." She broke cover and darted as silently as she could toward him.

"Wait, Harmony!" Harry started, but then fell silent, not wanting to draw attention.

"—I'll sign one tonight and send it over. Well, good-bye!" Lockhart finished just in time to be knocked out with a haymaker by a combat-gloved fist, he toppled unceremoniously to the side and Harmony gestured at Harry and Hermione to get Ron over as she ran over to chuck Lockhart behind the bush they'd been in before. Hermione seemed scandalized at punching a Professor's lights out, but another heave by Ron, a couple more fat, slimy slugs falling to the ground, and a worried look at her friend absolved that quickly.

"Bin wonderin' when you'd come ter see me—come in, come in—thought you mighta bin Professor Lockhart back again—" Hagrid's grumpy look changed to a happy one when he saw it was them. He stood aside to let them in, then found a large copper basin for Ron to spew into.

"…He tried to use that curse but his wand backfired…" Harry was explaining.

"Better out than in, get 'em all up, Ron." Hagrid said cheerily.

"I don't think there's anything to do except wait for it to stop, that's a difficult curse to work at the best of times, but with a broken wand —" Hermione was fretting as she helped slap on Ron's back, then apologized and went gentler since she was hitting him so hard he was choking on the slime.

"He's lucky it didn't turn all his intestinal contents or worse yet all his guts into slugs, or he'd be either shitting slugs for a couple days or dead in short order." Harmony supplied grimly before reprimanding Ron. "You stupid, impulsive boy, Hermione doesn't need you to protect her, you just need to be there to be her friend, her shoulder to cry on, and support her." Hermione was blushing crimson now knowing what Harmony really meant ("Boyfriends don't act like morons with my sister, so if you want to be her boyfriend spruce yourself up!") and even Ron seemed a bit red, though he was still rather inarticulate and it was more likely that was due to the effort of vomiting up slugs.

"What did Lockhart want with you, Hagrid?" Harry asked, scratching Fang's ears.

"Givin' me advice on gettin' kelpies out of a well, like I don' know. An' bangin' on about some banshee he banished. If one word of it was true, I'll eat my kettle." Hagrid growled.

"I think you're being a bit unfair. Professor Dumbledore obviously thought he was the best man for the job—" Hermione said slowly.

"He was the _on'y _man for the job, an' I mean the _on'y _one. Gettin' very difficult ter find anyone fer the Dark Arts job. People aren't too keen ter take it on, see. They're startin' ter think it's jinxed. No one's lasted long fer a while now. So tell me," Hagrid offered them a plate of treacle toffee which Hermione ad Harmony gladly accepted "Who was he tryin' ter curse?"

"Malfoy called Hermione something — it must've been really bad, because everyone went wild." Harry started.

"It _was _bad, Malfoy called her 'Mudblood,' Hagrid—" Ron gasped out as Hermione rubbed soothing circles on his back, keeping his slight blush there even though his face should have been a lot paler due to the spewing given he seemed to be the type to pale under stress.

"He didn'!" Hagrid sounded scandalized.

"He did, but I don't know what it means. I could tell it was really rude, of course—" Hermione shrugged.

"I know, but I'm not the right type to tell you." Harmony stated "Ron, you're pure-blood, if you'll do the honours of introducing Hermione to this most ridiculous and most festering part of Wizarding society please?"

"It's about the most insulting thing he could think of, Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who is Muggle-born—you know, non-magic parents. There are some wizards—like Malfoy's family—who think they're better than everyone else because they're what people call pure-blood." Ron gave a small burp and a single slug fell into his hand, which he chucked into the basin "I mean, the rest of us know it doesn't make any difference at all. Look at Neville Longbottom—he's pure-blood and he can hardly stand a cauldron the right way up."

"An' they haven't invented a spell our Hermione can' do," Hagrid said brightly, proudly.

Ron's hand was shaking as he wiped his brow "It's a disgusting thing to call someone. Dirty blood, see. Common blood. It's ridiculous. Most wizards these days are half-blood anyway. If we hadn't married Muggles we'd've died out." He heaved again and ducked out of sight.

Hagrid sighed "Well, I don' blame yeh fer tryin' ter curse him, Ron, bu' maybe it was a good thing yer wand backfired. 'Spect Lucius Malfoy would've come marchin' up ter school if yeh'd cursed his son. Least yer not in trouble." Even then he wouldn't be, because Malfoy would have died before he could press charges. No one could react fast enough to stop bullets unless they have forewarning and recognized what a modern gun looked like in the first place.

Hermione looked about to say something when Harmony cut her off "It's part of the plague infesting wizarding society, Hermione, the Wizengamot, the Parliament of Wizarding Britain, is made of members of the old pureblood families. Never has a muggleborn been on it, and therefore they will do anything to keep their power. They are the ultimate reactionaries and are why Wizards are still so close-minded and why people like Mouldy-Shorts have the chance to rise, because their pureblood supremacist ideals favour so many of the old ruling families that they blockade initiatives to stop these supremacists. You and I will be the ones to change this, I know it to be true. We need a Janitor, me, to take out the trash, and then someone who takes over the position of Minister and ensures changes begun by the Janitor happen, that's you."

Hagrid then joked around with Harry—who was having trouble with the toffee that the twins were chewing up no problem—about signed photos and showed them pumpkins he was growing for Halloween before they left his house. Apparently he'd met Ginny yesterday when she was "just looking around the grounds". Harmony frowned, apparently Ginny didn't feel comfortable enough to come to her or Ron for a guided tour, which was not a good sign of Ginny's mental state as a small child sent to a new and unfamiliar place. Alternatively it could mean she was highly independent, but some nagging feeling in Harmony's head didn't think that was quite it… Ginny would need to learn to be independent in the future, but right now she was typical of a girl her age. Well, at least she wasn't a deranged psycho bitch, which was Harmony's opinion of herself.

The four of them barely finished getting through the doors of the Entrance Hall when McGonagall's voice rang out "There you are, Potter—Weasley. You will both do your detentions this evening."

"What're we doing, Professor?" Ron asked, gulping nervously, probably trying to suppress a burp.

"_You _will be polishing the silver in the trophy room with Mr. Filch, and no magic, Weasley—elbow grease." Ron gulped again at that. "And you, Potter, will be helping Professor Lockhart answer his fan mail."

Harry looked panicked "Oh n — Professor, can't I go and do the trophy room, too?"

McGonagall's mouth twitched slightly as if to grimace at the thought of spending time with Lockhart "Certainly not, Professor Lockhart requested you particularly. Eight o'clock sharp, both of you."

"Professor, you know full well that Lockhart is a fraud, read his books, he's in multiple places at once." Harmony pointed out "It would be a form of torture to subject Harry to such an egotistical _thing_."

"Now, I wouldn't say I disagree with you, Miss Shepard, but he never said all his books were non-fiction." McGonagall was definitely grimacing now. "And asking for a student to do detention with him is not unreasonable…"

Harry and Ron slouched into the Great Hall in a state of utter despair while Hermione wore a _"well you did break school rules"_ expression. In the meantime, Harmony stared at McGonagall for a couple more seconds, and the older witch closed her eyes, sighed and shook her head before opening her eyes again. The younger witch nodded and made a head gesture toward the Great Hall, which the older witch nodded to. Harmony replied with a small smile and then hurried off after her friends.

The above silent conversation translated as follows: "Can't you just get rid of Lockhart for being a useless fraud?" "There's no one else who wants to teach Defence, so no, sorry." "Okay, I'll just run along and join my friends now." "That would be best." "Okay, Professor, see you later!"

"Filch'll have me there all night. No magic! There must be about a hundred cups in that room. I'm no good at Muggle cleaning." _Well Ron I don't have any pointers for you, my experience is restricted to using sandblasters, vacuum cleaners, sandpaper, and detergent plus sponge/steel wool, none of which is likely to be found in the Wizarding World. Oh, they'll have soap and detergents alright, but you'll probably have to use a rag to clean, much less efficient than steel wool._ Harmony thought.

"I'd swap anytime, I've had loads of practice with the Dursleys. Answering Lockhart's fan mail . . . he'll be a nightmare" Harry said listlessly. Harmony privately agreed and hoped she never had detention with the man, it was highly probable that he would not live fore more than 24 hours afterward, assuming she didn't murder him during the detention.

She leaned toward him and whispered "Harry, can I borrow the cloak tonight?"

Harry raised an eyebrow as if wanting to know what she wanted the cloak for, then thought better of it "Sure, I'll get it for you before I go to detention."

* * *

Harmony watched as she silently ghosted her way toward Lockhart's office a short way behind Harry. At five to eight, Harry gritted his teeth and knocked on the ponce's door, which flew open at once to reveal Lockhart beaming down at Harry. Harmony's hand tightened on her SMG and knife in revulsion at the countless framed photos of Lockhart on the walls, some even signed by the THING itself. "Ah, here's the scalawag!" What the fuck is a scalawag? Harmony's mind wondered absently "Come in, Harry, come in—You can address the envelopes! This first one's to Gladys Gudgeon, bless her—huge fan of mine—"

Lockhart rambled on endlessly talking about himself. Harmony in the meantime was sitting under the cloak in the corner directly across from the door reading a book to pass the time spend on her bodyguard work. Every once in a while she caught a vaguely true bit such as "Fame's a fickle friend, Harry" and "Celebrity is as celebrity does, remember that."

As the candles burned lower, Harmony contemplated setting fire to the room and the thing using it as an office sometime. Then she heard and felt something that made her senses go to the equivalent of DEFCON 2 in an instant from DEFCON 4. Something relatively nearby was radiating psychic energy, with murderous intent and the power to back it up. There was, for a moment, a distant, quiet hissing noise that was new, different from the candles or Lockhart's yammering.

Harry had given a huge jump as soon as the emanations and hissing appeared "_What_?"

"I know! Six solid months at the top of the best-seller list! Broke all records!" Harmony's hand twitched toward her SMG again at the man's sheer imbecility. If only she wasn't the only one in the school who could use 10mm FMJ rounds…

"No, that voice!" Harry was looking around frantically. Harmony's eyes narrowed, so Harry heard the hissing as a voice, hmm? Well then, that made things different, surely there weren't many things that some wizards could hear but not others… She herself had felt a brain-wave emissions set that had been amplified during the hissing, but she couldn't interpret it, perhaps the hissing plus the brain waves equalled a language?

"Sorry? What voice?" Lockhart looked puzzled. For once Lockhart sounded reasonable. Then again, what could hiss, transmit brainwaves, and apparently scare Harry with whatever malevolent words it said? The first thing that came to mind was a cat of some sort… _But I doubt a Nundu could get into the school without the Headmaster knowing. Maybe a giant cockroach? Unlikely, not enough brains, might be a snake… yes, probably a snake of some sort, but surely Harry would have told us if he could speak to snakes, it's so operationally critical that he can't have hidden it from us._

"That—that voice that said—didn't you hear it?"

Lockhart was looking bewildered, not a surprising expression for someone of such ego. "What _are _you talking about, Harry? Perhaps you're getting a little drowsy? Great Scott—look at the time! We've been here nearly four hours! I'd never have believed it—the time's flown, hasn't it?"

Harry was obviously not listening as Lockhart rambled on about how Harry shouldn't expect such a treat next time he got a detention. Once Harry opened the door to leave, Harmony swept out before Harry did. As soon as they were out of earshot of the office, Harmony asked "What did the voice say, Harry?"

"It said something about coming to it and letting it rip, tear and kill you."

"Huh, all I heard was a soft hissing in the background, but it can't be a snake if it said that, snakes can't rip or tear, since they don't have cutting teeth."

"Hmm…" Harry said noncommittally.

* * *

October came with a damp chill over the grounds and in the castle. There was a sudden spread of the cold among the population of the school, and even Ginny Weasley, who had been looking pale, was bullied into taking some Pepper-Up Potion by Percy. The potion left drinkers smoking at the ears for some time afterwards for some odd reason, so the steam pouring under Ginny's bright red hair gave the impression that her head was on fire. It rained quite often that month, and Harry probably spent more time drowned from Quidditch practice than dry given Wood's enthusiasm for training.

One day, he came back and told the three of them about Nick's 500th Deathday Party that would occur on Halloween. "A deathday party? I bet there aren't many living people who can say they've been to one of those—it'll be fascinating!" Hermione commented.

"Why would anyone want to celebrate the day they died? Sounds dead depressing to me…" Ron was halfway through his Potions homework and therefore grumpy, but he could still make a pun apparently…

Harry seemed about to tell them something else when the fire lizard wizards erroneously called a "salamander" (not closely related to real salamanders, which are amphibians) that Fred and George had been experimenting with let off a series of sparks and bangs and flew around the room. The things loved fires mostly as their operational body temperature was quite high, around the 40 degrees Celsius range, due to adaptations for living in the tropics and near volcanoes, and later on adapting to living with humans around manmade fires. Of course, feeding one a Filibuster Firework may not exactly have been the kindest thing to do to it… the thing had died of internal injuries by the time it stopped flying around the common room.

"So, what else did Nick talk about? There must have been a reason he wanted us to come to his party." Harmony said conversationally while the other three were still looking at the limp, unmoving corpse of the high-temperature semi-endotherm on the ground that Fred and George were prodding at.

"Huh, oh, well I don't know if this is it, but he did get a letter from the 'Headless Hunt' talking about how they couldn't accept him because his head had not parted company with his body." Harry said absently. Harmony rolled her eyes, so that was it, Nick wanted them to help either convince these self-important asses to let him in, or show them up for him… and here she thought Nick might have just been trying to be friendly (though that was technically still a motive).

There was always a motive behind people's actions, even if said motive was "to just be random for a moment". For example, Harry's motives were clear, he wanted friends, he wanted to be like everyone else. Hermione's motives were just as clear to Harmony, her twin wanted to learn as much as she could about this existence. Ron just wanted to be accepted as separate from his brothers, to be As for her own? She wanted to be a warlord.

* * *

As Halloween approached, Harry was bitching about the Deathday Party again and Harmony was ignoring him again, while Hermione's frown grew deeper and deeper until she set her book down, glared at him hard enough for Harmony to be proud, and growled "A promise is a promise, you _said _you'd go to the deathday party."

"Remember, Hermione, verbal contracts mean nothing unless fixed with one's magic." Harmony said, not looking up more than her usual tactical-awareness-eye-flicks from her essay "However, Nick did help him in a tight spot and should Harry want more help from Nick in the future it would be prudent to attend the party."

* * *

At ten to seven Harry, Ron, Hermione and Harmony walked/stalked past the doorway to the packed and decorated Great Hall and down into the dungeons. The path to Nick's party was also lined with candles like the Great Hall, but they were long, thin and jet-black, burning a bright, hot blue. Apparently they contained enough oxidizer to burn blue without exploding, interesting… The temperature was dropping with every step they took, something Harmony attributed to her (eventually proven correct) hypothesis that ghosts drew on, for lack of better terms, the entropy of the universe, using various phases and other such things that the brain/soul could understand but the mind currently failed to. It was what fuelled their existences, with the net result that areas around them were colder than areas not around them. She suddenly wondered what it would be like for a ghost in deep space, would they produce an area of near absolute zero temperature?

There was a somewhat annoying screechy but rhythmic sound coming from the dungeon Nick had told them he would be hosting his party in. "Is that supposed to be _music_?" Ron whispered in disbelief. Harmony was nonplussed, she had heard Heavy Metal that was more horrible than that, though she'd also heard Heavy Metal that was much better than that. Besides, she'd heard much screechier sounds (which just prompted her to twist the corkscrews she'd wedged under the man's toenails some more) from a serial killer who had proudly confessed and for whom the evidence was absolute. She had been given free reign over his execution when her mother had been tutoring her in the delicate art of torture. He'd screamed much more than Voldemort had had the chance to last year since there was no mental pressure to end it quickly, and because she had been studying the art. Studying required more attention to technical details—such as which general areas hurt the most of a typical person—than taking pleasure in "janitorial duties" did. That meant trash used as training targets tended to last a bit longer before being disposed of mostly as fewer stupid mistakes were made while inflicting maximum pain on them i.e. you had to remember not to mortally injure them in short order instead of just making them scream as loud as possible with whatever methods were available.

* * *

A/N: It is not possible to have a preteen kid (sure doesn't look it physically though…), no matter how mentally mature beyond her years, trained to be a killing machine and future warlord and not have her be at least a little insane.

* * *

Nearly Headless Nick was at a doorway hung with black velvet drapes and Harmony automatically let Harry proceed first, after all, fodder always went before the generals. If there was one thing for sure about the Wizarding World, it was that Harry was definitely a pawn of Dumbledore's in the war against Voldemort. From what she knew from her reading about the last phase of the war, Dumbledore was so soft that he'd give murderers and rapists second chances even if they proudly confessed, the polar opposite of Voldemort, but both thought everyone else disposable. At least Dumbledore THOUGHT his way was "For the Greater Good", and had defeated Grindelwald back in 1947, but the only reason that had happened was because Germany had been losing World War Two so badly by then that Grindelwald didn't have enough blood sacrifices from the concentration camps to fuel him.

Technology had prevailed over magic back then, now, with better technology, there was no question as to who would come out on top. Psychic abilities may have been an evolutionary benefit centuries ago, but after the close-mindedness set in… they were screwed. Regardless of that, at least Harry, whose behaviour said he WANTED to be one of the mindless cattle, would eventually be under the thumb of someone who at least gave a shit whether he lived or died, namely, one Harmony Jane Shepard, if she had anything to say about it. And oh hell did she have a lot to say about it…

Well, back to the present… The dungeon the party was being held in was full of hundreds of pearly-white, translucent people, mostly drifting around a crowded dance floor, waltzzing to the screeching of thirty musical… _are those saws? Damn, I wish I'd brought a chainsaw so that I could use the speed dial to make some better music than that…_ The "Instruments" being played were ghostly-looking, arranged up on a raised, black-draped platform, and in the hands of an orchestra of ghosts. If ghosts were able to influence air… they should be able to handle solid objects, but apparently the Magical World didn't make this mental connection, hence they were unable to do as they should be able to, even though they could touch the floor and rest on it if they so wished.

"Shall we have a look around?" Harry asked, probably wanting to warm up his feet.

"Careful not to walk through anyone." Ron sounded a bit nervous as they began walking around the edge of the dance floor, passing many ghosts of all descriptions.

That lasted until Hermione stopped abruptly "Oh, no, turn back, turn back, I don't want to talk to Moaning Myrtle—"

"Who?" Harry wondered when they backtracked quickly.

"She haunts one of the toilets in the girls' bathroom on the first floor." Hermione explained.

If the ensuing chatter, after discovering the ghosts had let the food go rotten to give it "more flavour" ("Those fools do not understand in the least how the sense of taste functions and how you get a very different flavour from good food compared to rotten food!" Harmony had stated quietly to her sister), Harmony concluded Myrtle was a bitch. She gave up controlling herself after the ghost concluded that "You're making fun of me."

"Guess what you conceited ghost? Not everything in this world is about you, and how about you learn to deal with your issues like an adult instead of childishly throwing these tantrums, huh?" Harmony had hissed in the ghost's face, causing the dumb bitch to give a wail and glide off with Peeves racing after her, throwing mouldy peanuts at her. Harmony turned to her stunned compatriots "Sometimes, it is necessary to wield a fly-swatter with great force against an irritating insect. Although this may create a splattered mess, it will be easier to clean up than having the insect buzzing around contaminating all your food. If Myrtle doesn't change, nothing's different, if she does change she'll be a great deal more tolerable than before." She promptly tuned out Hermione's lecture.

Soon, a hunting horn sounded while Nick was talking to the four of them, talking about how the turnout wasn't bad. The orchestra, and everyone else in the room, fell silent and looked around in excitement. "Oh, here we go." Nick sounded rather bitter…

A dozen ghost horses, each ridden by a headless horseman, entered through a wall and the assembly clapped wildly. Harry began to clap until Harmony's heel came down most painfully upon his toes and he realized Hermione was also not clapping, with Ron glancing at her and visibly restraining himself from clapping.

The horses galloped into the middle of the dance floor and the riders pulled the reins back, stopping the horses as they reared onto their hind legs, then plunged back down onto all fours. At the front of the pack, a large ghost held his bearded head under his arm, from where he was blowing his horn. He leapt down from his horse, lifted his head high in the air so he could see over the crowd to everyone's laughter, and swaggered over to Nick, squashing his head back onto his neck.

"Nick! How are you? Head still hanging in there?" Sir Pompous-Dick-Podmore said. He guffawed stupidly and clapped Nick on the shoulder.

"Welcome, Patrick." Nick said stiffly.

"Live 'uns!" Patrick yelled, spotting the four students and jumping in false astonishment so that his head fell off again (the crowd howled with laughter, again).

"Very amusing" Nick grumbled darkly.

"Don't mind Nick! Still upset we won't let him join the Hunt! But I mean to say—look at the fellow—" Prick-Dumbass-Podmore's head shouted from the floor.

"I think, Nick's very—frightening and—er—" Harry started. _And this is why he will always be a pawn to be used by others, his ineptitude at smooth communication makes his desire to be one of the cattle even worse…_ Harmony thought with a frown. _Even Dad's loads better than Harry ever will be at smooth talking, for example when he's buttering Mum up… although the net result is not even what Harry can achieve, as Mum usually doesn't let herself be buttered up._

"Ha! Bet he asked you to say that!" Sir Podmore's head yelled back at Harry.

"If I could have everyone's attention, it's time for my speech!" Nick stated loudly as he climbed into the spotlight of the podium. "My late lamented lords, ladies, and gentlemen, it is my great sorrow…" Everyone stopped paying attention at this point, as Sir Podmore and the rest of the Headless Hunt had begun playing a game of Head Hockey. Nick was trying to recapture his audience, but gave up as Sir Patrick's head went flying past him to loud cheering.

"ENOUGH!" The roar instantly quieted the room except the sound of Patrick's head bouncing off a wall he had decided not to phase through before it was snatched up by a mortal hand, drawing a gasp from the ghosts present. "You dare disrespect Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington in this way after he had the good graces to invite you to his Deathday Party? He has aided students throughout Hogwarts when they were lost or frightened for hundreds of years, and he has had the dignity to apply for your stupid club over and over again despite knowing he will be rejected by you ego-maniacs. You think you're so amazing with that detached head, yeah? You know what? The fact that Nick has the COURAGE to apply to your club over and over again makes him an infinite amount better than you, Sir Prick! All you do is come crash someone's party, show off your stupid parlour tricks, and try to humiliate him as much as ghostly possible. Well I have some news for you, Sir Prick, unless you have a very kinky ghost lover somewhere, and I pity any ghost stupid enough to screw you, the only things your head is really good for are a) sucking your own dick, and given how much of a prick you are your tongue can qualify as a full-fledged penis on its own and therefore you are constantly sucking your own dick, b) being shoved up your ass, although you are enough of an asshole that we won't even need to stretch you for your head to fit, and c) being a punching bag."

She demonstrated this last one by locking his head's phasing into solidity and smashing the head between her gloved fist and the wall repeatedly while careful to toggle his body's phasing to non-corporeal when it tried to pull her off the head. There was one really funny thing about ghosts, if they didn't understand the concepts of the physics involved, their toggling was subconscious, and it was easy to override for even a fairly basic psychic who did know the general idea of the physics involved. The fact that Harmony had been spending more time since the beginning of summer doing her version of "meditating" than sleeping helped. She had been letting her body sleep in the meantime and giving her brain time to recover while confining her mind to certain parts of the brain normally nominally unused in a human. It had been something taught to her by her mother in the summer break by entering her mind and showing her how to do it.

After hitting Podmore enough times that she thought he might have gotten the point, she squashed his head back onto his body and cancelled the phase-lock "Nick, carry on, Harry, Ron, you guys must be cold and hungry, why don't we go to the Great Hall to see if there's any leftover desserts?"

The others only nodded mutely as the ghosts, all in various states of shock (Sir Podmore excluded, he was wincing, pain after so long without pain really sucked…) watched them walk out. After a few moments, they all turned to Nick. It was unknown who clapped first, but the applause was thunderous before it died down and someone shouted "Go on, Nick!"

That was all Harmony heard before they were far enough up the hallway that even she couldn't pick them up, but she did pick up a vague buzz in the background noise… and Harry stumbled to a halt. She overtook him in an instant and grabbed him to stabilize hi as he clutched at the stone wall, then realized she was probably more grab-able. He was looking around wildly, squinting up and down the dimly lit passageway…

"Harry, what're you—?" Hermione started. Being untrained, chances are she hadn't heard that subtle background rasping noise…

"It's that voice again—shut up a minute—" Harry snapped, a moment later, he said "Listen!" Ron and Hermione froze, staring at him. He in turn started staring at the ceiling. "This way!"

"Harry, whatever the voice is, is it moving upwards away from us or downwards towards us?" Harmony asked as she and Hermione easily kept stride with the boys while racing up the stairs form the Entrance Hall to the First Floor.

Harry pointed upward as he ran. Hermione began with "Harry, what're we—"

"SHHHH!" Harry seemed to listen for a moment for that distant rasp again "It's going to kill someone!" He yelled. Ignoring Ron and Hermione's obvious bewilderment and Harmony's fishing out a relatively small device from inside her robes, he raced up to the second floor and ran around the second floor into the passage right outside Myrtle's bathroom.

"Harry, _what _was that all about? I couldn't hear anything…"

Harmony lagged behind as she took out her camcorder and scanned the area first for threats from around the corner, looking at the little screen on the machine for signs of danger. Finding nothing much, she advanced despite Hermione's gasped "Look!"

Blood had been painted on the wall—not human for Harmony would recognize human blood paint easily enough—in foot-high words between two windows. They read:

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN  
OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE.

"Well, fuck having a normal school year, before you even ask, Ron, that thing hanging there is Mrs. Norris, hanging by her tail, and there's a large puddle of water coming from the nearby bathroom that's the shiny stuff on the ground. Let's get the hell out of here." There was a distant rumble somewhere… as if the feast had just ended. Hermione's glance meant she heard it too, but Noble Dumb Fuck and Vaguely Less Stupid Sidekick did not.

"Shouldn't we try and help?" Harry walked forward. Harmony almost wanted to melee him over the head with the grenade launcher she'd just put away. Actually, no, fit the bayonet she had onto her SMG and the melee him in the back of the head with it. He was _such_ a retard it wouldn't be much of a loss to the world…

"We can't do anything, we have to disappear as soon as possible." Harmony did the wise thing at this point, she smacked a recording device into Hermione's hand and ran the opposite way from the Great Hall (namely, up the stairs, since stairs up formt he Entrance Hall were at both ends of their current section) while the other three stayed rooted in place. Hermione put the device on her belt and turned it on, knowing she didn't have enough time before the students flooded their hallway to get away…

The chattering mob stopped suddenly as the people in front spotted the hanging cat. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood alone in the center of the hallway as people pressed forward to see the stiff cat. Then someone shouted, breaking the silence: "Enemies of the Heir, beware! You'll be next, Mudbloods!"

Harmony had slipped herself into the mob unnoticed after detouring around (the device had been a backup in case she couldn't slip back in), and she heard that perfectly well, pushing her way through, she saw that Malfoy's cold eyes were alive, his usually bloodless face flushed, as he grinned at the stiff, hanging cat.

Now, Harmony's personal Threat Tier system ranked roughly as follows:

Tier 0: Threat or Potential Threat to Survival of the Human Race, annihilate ASAP. Includes: Voldemort

Tier 1: Any and all methods acceptable for eradication under any and all encounter circumstances. Includes All not-yet-neutralized Death Eaters.

Tier 2: They get in my way, they die. Includes Neutralized Death Eaters.

Tier 3: Lethal Force Permitted, Act When Certain. Includes ex-Death Eaters.

Tier 4: Keep an eye on these folks, all non-lethal methods permitted. Includes Dumbledore, Ministry of Magic, Draco Malfoy, most of Slytherin House, etc..

Tier 5: Least Concern. Includes Ron, Hermione, etc..

Unknown to him, Draco Malfoy had upgraded himself in an instant from Tier 4 to Tier 3. If there was definitive or more than adequate circumstantial proof of him being the Heir of Slytherin, it was highly likely he would be knocked out one day by blunt force trauma to the back of his head, ground up (even if it took her a couple hours to chop him up well enough), and flushed down the toilet. With how influential his father was, it was best if there wasn't a body.

* * *

A/N: MADNESS RETURNS!

In other words, I finally took enough breaks from video games and real life to write some more.

I've been playing Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones lately (Fire Emblem 8 if you prefer), and I just realized you actually meet Amelia, who if trained properly (give Metris's Tome at lvl 1 recruit, then grind her in the Tower of Valni to General) is one of the most powerful squad members, for the first time in the town of Serafew, and not 4 chapters later in Carcino. You also encounter Tethys in that town, she's in the southernmost "village" and Amelia is in the northernmost. Amelia's first line in the game is apparently "Hope everyone's well back home in Silva, Just a bit more, and I'll be in the Empire. Let's see, I've got vulneraries, antitoxins… Oh! And I can't let myself forget torches for when it gets dark. Yep! I'm all set! Now I just need to get to the capital. I'll be the finest soldier the Grado army's ever seen! I swear it!" I didn't get to her village in time to visit before bandits wrecked it on my first playthrough, but I guess the sheer length of that talk would have given her away as a future recruitable character anyhow…

REVIEW PLEASE!


	4. There Is Much Talk

A/N: According to the movie "The Social Network", Mark would probably have been dead by 5 minutes into the film if Harmony had been on the other end of the conversation. The official reason for termination would be "Cleaning scum off the floor". The real reason would be "Eliminating competition" (assholes come out on top, and Harmony doesn't need anyone who's that much of a dick to compete with, even if he's in a different field altogether). The next task after that? Fumigate all the bathrooms on the Harvard campus to reduce the number of STDs flying around. Personally, I think Edouardo or whatever his name was deserved what he got, you can't be CFO if you don't meticulously go over every single contract, even those presented to you by your own lawyers…

**Nenfaer**, I agree that physics amps up Harmony's capabilities. After all, knowledge and knowing how to use it is power, and by that gauge, we know who the most powerful person in Hogwarts is.

* * *

Chapter 4: There Is Much Talk

After Filch caught them and went berserk, the group followed the Headmaster and several teachers to Lockhart's office. Harmony tried to glare Harry and Ron into understanding that she would be the one to speak for them. Unfortunately, it turned out they did not quite get the point…

"I never _touched _Mrs. Norris!" Harry retorted loudly.

"And what the hell is a Squib, Harry?" Harmony asked bluntly, she knew that if most of the attention was on her and Hermione then the boys would not be at risk of expulsion. She knew full well what a Squib was, just needed a distraction…

Harry turned his head toward her and shrugged "I don't know what a Squib is."

"Rubbish! He saw my Kwikspell letter!" Filch snarled.

"If I might speak, Headmaster," As usual, Snape sounded silky and dangerous "Potter and his friends may have simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, but we do have a set of suspicious circumstances here. Why was he in the upstairs corridor at all? Why wasn't he at the Halloween feast?"

Harry, Ron and Hermione all launched into an explanation of the Deathday Party, while Harmony clenched her fists at their disobedience of instructions. Well, this was not a major problem given their stories were in agreement, but… if they hadn't… things could have gotten very nasty very fast.

"But why not join the feast afterward? Why go up to that corridor?" Snape wondered aloud.

"Because…because… because we were tired and wanted to go to bed." Harry came out with. Harmony's left eye twitched and she wanted to deck some brains into the kid's head. Hey, if she broke his skull right now, the hard vacuum in there would be filled by the air outside rushing in, right? No, knowing him, chances are he had some manner of intellectual black hole somehow contained in there that was completely immune to any type of wisdom whatsoever.

"Without any supper? I didn't think ghosts provided food fit for living people at their parties."

"The Feast was like five minutes from being over, we didn't want to run to the Great Hall only to get nothing, it was less tiring to just go to bed." Ron stated the truth in this case with a couple exclusions. His stomach grumbled loudly as if to agree with him. Harmony mentally approved him, if her sister was going to date one of the two morons like some cliché fantasy novel (it pained her to admit that she planned on publishing the tales of her Hogwarts years as such a fantasy novel series to make some pocket money, of course she'd need to edit herself out, but whatever) would have it, Ron currently had a higher rating from Harmony at least. He'd come a long way from the lazy moron he was at the beginning of First Year…Though he still often pretended to be lazy, as soon as Hermione wasn't around he'd usually have his nose buried in a book trying to leech up enough knowledge to not make a fool of himself, which was much better than Harry's attempts at blending in and being apathetic about everything like most other [lazy] students.

"I suggest, Headmaster, that _Potter_ is not being entirely truthful… It might be a good idea if he were deprived of certain privileges until he is ready to tell us the whole story. I personally feel he should be taken off the Gryffindor Quidditch team until he is ready to be honest."

McGonagall snapped at him "Really, Severus, I see no reason to stop the boy playing Quidditch. This cat wasn't hit over the head with a broomstick. There is no evidence at all that Potter has done anything wrong."

Dumbledore was looking at Harry, and Harmony noticed the typical extremely weak signal-leaking of a mental surface scan. With how open Harry's mind was, it would be absurdly easy… hence why she was only able to sense the leak from right next to him. Otherwise it would be like having a large gong go off at full volume next to her (given that she had taken cover beside a tank as it fired its main gun before… it wouldn't have even made her twitch). "Innocent until proven guilty, Severus."

"My cat has been Petrified! I want to see some _punishment_!" Filch screeched. Harmony toyed with the idea of actually killing Mrs. Norris sometime, with a knife of course as that was less traceable, and seeing how Filch would react, the son of a bitch deserved it. Could he have been any more stupid? Being a Squib and choosing to work in a school for magical children? Did he not understand how it would hurt him? Even animals knew to shy away from pain, and Filch apparently was too stupid or arrogant to just go take a muggle job…

Dumbledore soothed Filch with a few words about the Mandrakes in Sprout's care, then Lockhart began blustering about his "greatness"… until Snape reminded him who the Potions Master of the school was. After an awkward silence, the four of them were dismissed, and Harmony went along with the other three in running away only because she was sure Dumbledore would be able to detect her if she hung outside the door to listen.

"D'you think I should have told them about that voice I heard?" Harry asked once they were in private.

"No, hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world." Ron spoke decisively, without hesitation. Harmony nodded in approval, even if concealing important tactical data from tactical commanders i.e. Dumbledore was usually quite unwise..

"You do believe me, don't you?"

"'Course I do," Ron rolled his eyes at Harry's doubt "but — you must admit it's weird…"

"I know it's weird, the whole thing's weird. What was that writing on the wall about? 'The Chamber Has Been Opened'… What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked.

"You know, it rings a sort of bell, I think someone told me a story about a secret chamber at Hogwarts once… might've been Bill…" Ron's words slowed to a halt at that.

"I think it's the Chamber of Secrets, some sort of classified room that Salazar Slytherin built to house a monster to purge the school of those 'unworthy' of learning magic." Harmony mused.

"And what on earth's a Squib?" Harry continued with his next question.

"The reverse of a muggleborn, a magical-born with no magical powers." Harmony stated simply after Ron started snickering, since she wanted to save time and it was obvious Ron knew what a Squib was anyhow instead of letting Ron chortle his way through an explanation. "Filch is incredibly stupid to take a job in a magical school as a squib, he'll always be hateful and bitter. He should have just accepted his reality and gotten a muggle job, at least he would have been happier that way. He deserves every bit of hell the students put him through if he cannot take the necessary steps to, without harming others, make himself happy."

A clock chimed somewhere… it was nine o'clock already, and curfew had just passed. "We'd better get to bed before Snape comes along and tries to frame us for something else."

* * *

A/N: Rowling's idea that the Deathday Party and the Incident took 5 hours, from 7 to twelve, was absurd so I shrank it.

* * *

The next several days were filled with the mindless bleating of sheep over the attack on the stupid cat. Filch was either guarding the scene of the crime or lunging out in random places at students and _trying_ to put them in detention for "breathing loudly" or "looking happy". The first incident featured Harmony, with a mask, bludgeoning him unconscious over the back of the head with a large book, and he was dropped a la haymaker to the back of the head for the second one. He seemed he got the hint and gave up after that for fear of more physical trauma.

Ginny Weasley seemed very upset about Mrs. Norris being petrified. Ron said she was a great cat-lover, but when Harmony tried to talk to her about it she just shook her head and looked away. In the meantime, Hermione was reading… a hell of a lot, for lack of better terms. Some other people were talking about "the Mask" (i.e. Harmony) and wondering if the attack on Mrs. Norris was someone specifically out to get Filch. If it was, they had the support of the whole student body.

One day in the library, Harry told them Justin Finch-Fletchley had run away from him after seeing him in the hallway. Ron said Justin was an idiot, using Justin's belief of Lockhart as his proof. Harmony had to admit internally that it was a very good, very decisive proof indeed… Hermione on the other hand was reading one of her textbooks, having looked up the legend of the Chamber of Secrets as soon as possible from books in her magically expanded trunk and thus not fretting about it like many other students were.

What soon followed was perhaps the least boring History of Magic lecture Harmony would ever witness from Binns, with various people asking questions, but getting nothing that wasn't either common knowledge (what Harmony thought should be common knowledge) or that Harmony hadn't told them on Day Zero of the Mrs. Norris attack from what she remembered of Hogwarts: A History. After all, it would be incredibly foolish not to glean as much tactical data as possible about one's current place of residence and its surrounding area.

The funny thing was that when she called Kane afterward, Kane had said that "Sally" had wanted to build a pre-Hogwarts school experience for Muggleborns so that they would integrate better. This was especially true in the medieval ages with fanaticism being high and the Church declaring magic to be anti-Christian. As for Slytherin's monster, it was supposed to be part of the school defences. Apparently a seer had predicted that Salazar's true Heir would come to the school when a great evil was rising and would need to be defeated, so Slytherin had put a powerful creature in his Chamber that his Heir could use to defeat said evil. The original story was that the monster would purge those who dared invade the school, this was severely and purposefully misinterpreted by generations of pureblood fanatics.

Harmony perceived the magical pre-school to be more along the lines of Assimilation, and after studying the currently rotten state of Wizarding Politics had come to the simple conclusion that unless something gave way, the Wizarding World would fester and become even more of a threat to human civilization, with its cycles of Dark Lord Wars. All the Dark Lords stemmed from the idea of pureblood supremacy, even the _muggle-born_ Dark Lords, because they just couldn't stand the system anymore and thus adopted the guise of being pureblood in an effort to overthrow the government, but then became addicted to the power. Slytherin had said Muggleborns shouldn't be allowed to come _directly_ to Hogwarts, the pureblood supremacists had censored out the "directly" part. When she asked about why things turned out this way, Kane said that she would know with good time and it was really quite irrelevant anyways, at least, within the next three years, which was all she should or, as Kane said, _could_ be concerned about for now.

In conclusion, what the British Wizarding World and Wizards everywhere really needed to break the cycle was… a good old fashioned Red Revolution. Or, if that proved impossible due to the stupidity of the sheeple, a complete Cleansing.

_Well, then, new objective received… as a cheesy-sounding video game narrator would say._

* * *

"I always knew Salazar Slytherin was a twisted old loony." Ron told them that night "But I never knew he started all this pure-blood stuff. I wouldn't be in his House if you paid me. Honestly, if the Sorting Hat had tried to put me in Slytherin, I'd've got the train straight back home…"

Hermione nodded fervently, but Harmony noticed Harry's sudden tension and pulled him closer. Ron and Hermione were sitting on the best armchairs, on either side of the small table in front of the common room fire, while Harmony and Harry occupied the two-person front-row couch (the second row was a four-person couch, go figure), Harry near Ron and Harmony near Hermione. Leaning in she whispered low enough that the others couldn't hear "I was offered Slytherin too, threatened to burn the Sorting Hat if I didn't get here instead."

"How do you…" He whispered back, loud enough for Hermione to hear but not quite for Ron.

"You tensed up, and given I'm sitting next to you, it was obvious enough."

"Oh." Harmony had a feeling, seeing him blush out of the corner of her right eye, that he just realized exactly how close they were and how his arm was shoved up against something rounded and quite hard. As for her? She didn't give a shit. A simple psychic sweep told her that his Uncle Vernon had forced sex ed on him by showing him the most disgusting STD photos the obese man could find… to try to stop him from producing any more "freaks". She bristled internally at that designator, the man was, sifting through Harry's memories, freakishly obsessed with being absolutely "normal". _So that's why he even blushed, when most boys his age still think girls are gross. Well then, some punishment would be happening this summer… no one does that sort of shit to a kid for nearly his whole life and gets away with it. Too bad I had to intrude on Harry's mind, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him… too much._ "Is there any reason why your chest is hard as a rock?"

_Politeness when talking to girls… X-ed off Harry's list. Same goes for thinking before talking, tact, and not putting his foot in his mouth. Blunt honesty, check…_ "Protective gear tends to be rather hard, too many idiots would like to cop a feel otherwise. Don't ask why." She was quiet for a few moments before he realized the conversation was over and scooted away, blushing even redder and looking like he wanted to die from mortification. She snorted internally as she noted this fact down for future reference. _Easily flustered and therefore exploitable as a distraction… check._

* * *

"D'you _really _think there's a Chamber of Secrets?" Ron asked one day in the middle of a conversation in the halls.

Hermione frowned "I don't know, Dumbledore couldn't cure Mrs. Norris, and that makes me think that whatever attacked her might not be—well—human."

They were turning a corner as she spoke, and they were back at the attack site. The wall still bore the message, and an empty chair leaned against it where Filch had been either sitting in vigil or standing trying to scrub the wall. "That's where Filch has been keeping guard." Ron said.

"Can't hurt to have a poke around…" Harry said, dropping his bag and going on hands and knees so he could crawl along looking for clues.

"There are scorch marks at these two points on the floor." Harmony pointed out casually before they got anywhere, then noticed something moving on the topmost pane of glass on the window next to the message. It was a number of spiders fighting to get out through a small crack. "Those spiders are behaving funny… Did Filch's cleaning solution contain spider repellent?"

"I don't know. Ron, you got any idea… Ron?" Ron seemed to be standing well back and almost wanting to run away.

Harmony frowned "You're terrified of spiders, correct?" _Ah well, everyone has their weaknesses. Ron also can't keep up with Hermione in an intellectual conversation for more than about fifteen minutes no matter how hard he tries, but hey, at least he tries…_

"…Yes…" Ron sounded almost constipated as he gritted that word out.

"I never knew that, you've used spiders in Potions loads of times…" Hermione sounded surprised.

"I don't mind them dead, I just don't like the way they move…" Harmony thought there was nothing wrong with the way Spiders moved, hell, it could potentially make a good basis for a Mech design sometime in the future… a "Spiderbot", maybe. Hermione giggled at the boy's discomfort "It's not funny!" He grumbled at her "If you must know, when I was three, Fred turned my—my teddy bear into a great big filthy spider because I broke his toy broomstick… You wouldn't like them either if you'd been holding your bear and suddenly it had too many legs and…" _True, then again me and Hermione were never silly enough for teddy bears… just the idea makes me feel disgusted._ Ron shuddered and Hermione was still clearly trying not to laugh.

Harmony grimaced a bit as for just why she didn't like teddy bears and thus dragged her sister into not liking teddy bears either ("If Harmony's not going to have a teddy bear, then I won't either!" the younger twin had chirped cheerily when she found out her older sister didn't like teddy bears) entered her mind.

* * *

FLASHBACK BEGINS…

_Harmony, two days from being six years old, was humming happily as she skipped toward her mother's home office on July 28, 1986. She was going to ask her mom if she was the Jane Shepard she'd read about in some of her history books about the last few World Wars. Hermione had always preferred more ancient history while Harmony was only interested in post-Enlightenment history. She hoped her parents weren't going to be trying to make another baby again, it would be awkward to interrupt them, plus the smell was kind of funny the last time she'd interrupted them. She listened outside the door first, and since it was quiet, she knocked._

"_Enter." Her mother's voice answered hollowly._

"_Mom?" Harmony frowned as she saw her mother staring at a ragged, mangy old teddy bear that sat in the top shelf of her mother's cabinet and had always sat there, in a display case with the plaques "The Unknown Victim" and "The Unknown Soldier". "Mom, why are you looking at that?"_

"_It's been exactly fifty-four years since the Bonus Army Massacre and I still can't forget, but that's not important, Harmony, what did you want to talk to me about?" Jane brushed off the memories of the first time she realized America wasn't a great country, the same memories that had resulted in SI and America being at loggerheads for many years over what America called "human rights". The Kent University Incident hadn't helped one bit either._

_She shrugged "Nothing, just wanted to come by and chat. What's the Bonus Army?"_

"_Your grandmother told me about it." Jane lied smoothly, there was no reason to expose the girls to the family business until at least age sixteen, or they'd probably do something stupid. However, if they were intelligent enough to figure it out on their own, and she suspected Harmony was, they would know how important it was to keep it secret. "She was one of the bystanders that saw what happened. First World War veterans camped out in Washington DC demanding the bonus they were promised. The US government was only willing to give them each a few hundred dollars in 1945, when the inflation would have made paying the money much easier, but the veterans who'd fought and bled for their country wanted the money to feed their families in the Great Recession." Jane had in reality been on a business trip in the Washington area at the time and spectated from her hotel with binoculars, but Harmony didn't need to know her mother, still not looking a day over twenty, was in fact an eighty-plus woman._

"_Tell me more, Mom, you know I can take it." She held her book on World War Two, complete with many photos of the concentration camps, up to show her mom._

"_You sure sweetie?"_

"_Mom, I've seen the photos of what happened to people being tortured to death at the concentration camps, and I've seen photos of all sorts of more horrible things. I can take it, no problem."_

"_Alright, she watched from a distance as the US Army charged the protestors with cavalry and tanks, chasing them across the Anacostia River and then burning their camps while people were still in them. She said the screams of terror haunt her even today. Then they chased them down the streets, one group coming toward where her hotel was, with cavalry and tanks, attacking people with batons and crushing them under the tank treads."_

"_How horrible…" Harmony mulled over this fact for a moment, clutching her book, which she'd wanted to use as proof to her mother, tighter "What does that have to do with the teddy bear though?"_

"_That teddy bear came from one of the kids at the scene, his hand slipped from his mother's in the rushing crowd fleeing for their lives. He tripped and fell and the crowd swept his mother away with it before the cavalry caught up. First he was rammed down by a horse after being hit over the head with a cavalryman's baton, the motherfucker on the horse not even slowing down even though he saw the boy. Then he had one of his legs broken by being trampled on and he was just wailing his eyes out in front of the hotel, no one dared come out to help him to safety because there was a tank coming up the street. Now, tanks then were pretty slow, they stayed slow until the Shepards revolutionized armoured warfare, but the driver, clearly seeing the kid, just ran his bottom half over since there was a wrecked car on the other side of the street and it seemed he wanted more manoeuvring room. The last thing he did that your grandmother saw was push himself up on his arms, eyes wide and head thrown back from the sheer pain of half his body being turned into meat sauce, gurgling up some blood, and then falling facedown onto the ground and into the blood he'd just hacked up, dead. Mum—"_

_In reality, Jane herself had been the first out of the hotel, checking both ways first, after the tank passed a safe distance away "—decided to take a closer look at the result of a child being introduced to the ugly governmental machine. About ten minutes later the boy's mother arrived on the scene and broke down completely seeing her dead son smeared across the street, with a patch of his mashed flesh staining the ground every dozen or so meters showing the tank's tracks going around once. Mum picked up the teddy and held it out to the mother, asking her to keep it to remember what happened that day. The woman told her 'No, you should keep it, someone needs to get away and tell everyone that we weren't Communists, we just wanted money for food and rent…' That was when Mum understood why the toy was so ragged. She then told Mum 'Go, before they come back, disappear.' Mum nodded to her, pocketed the teddy, and went back into the hotel, disappearing as she had been told to. From her hotel room window, she watched as police arrived, shackled the woman, and dragged her off, literally, with her feet trailing along the ground and slumped in the grasps of the two brutes."_

_Harmony's little mouth opened and shut a few times "Don't you think that's not appropriate to tell your six-year-old daughter? I could be scarred for life you know. Just because I told you I could handle it, you give me the full thing?"_

"_I know you can handle it, Harmony, you were right, you've seen much worse things in those books you read, and much more graphic images, even if they aren't as up close and personal as something you envision in your mind. That's why Hermione has a hard time stomaching them, because most of them are photos of real war crimes. You must understand, my daughter, that you should never go to America without adequate protection, financial, political or military." Jane knew that she was tipping her daughter off big-time, but if the book Harmony was holding was any indication, she'd mostly figured it out anyways. This would hopefully give her something to think about and help her become a little more jaded so that she'd be better at keeping such a huge secret._

FLASHBACK ENDS…

* * *

A/N: It is not believed that the six tanks sent out (in 1932 this was considered a lot of power, along with the cavalry and infantry that were sent) actually crushed anyone at the Bonus Army protest. However, several children did die from the tear gas they used (and a veteran's wife miscarried, "pro-life" right-wing scum, because asking for the money you promised a bit earlier is apparently Communist) this is a nod to the narration of the Tiananmen Tank Man Video talking about "base Humanity challenging the Emotionless Governmental Machine" by climbing onto a tank and yelling insults at the crew. One should try that in America with a police CAR and see how it turns out. I guarantee you that you will not manage to disappear into the crowd like the Tank Man did in China. I can almost guarantee you that after trying to go around you three times (the tank turned right, then left, then right in the video trying to go around him), an American policeman—Forget a _soldier_ in a TANK, a POLICEMAN in a CAR—would just run you over and ask questions later. At the very least they'd floor it when you're on the vehicle and thus basically throw you off.

* * *

From that day forth, Harmony's mental image of herself with a teddy bear had always involved getting chased by a tank. For obvious reasons, this rather turned her off of teddy bears.

Harry changed the subject "Remember all that water on the floor? Where did that come from? Someone's mopped it up."

Harmony pointed at a door "From that girls' toilet, it's where Moaning Myrtle hangs out."

Ron reached for the door but then retracted his hand as if burned. "Still… I don't think we can go in there…" Hermione frowned, hurling a disappointed look at the redhead, who after a few moments caved. Harmony noted the projection with mild alarm _We really need to reign in those compulsions sometime… good thing Ron's interest is his own, otherwise this could turn out to be a horribly cliché and stupid story where my twin's basically mind-raping the boy into submission…_ He opened the door and walked in first "On second thought, it's not a problem. It's out of order anyways."

It was something out of a zombie apocalypse video game, sans the zombies. There were no lit candles, only a few stubs left in the holders, a grimy, dusty window let in weak light that illuminated a large, cracked, similarly grimy mirror and a row of chipped, cracked sinks. The floor was damp and musty, and the doors to the toilet stalls were flaking, scratched and in a couple cases were dangling off their hinges or missing altogether.

Hermione put her fingers to her lips and moved toward the end stall "Hello, Myrtle, how are you?"

_Maybe we could get an exorcist or whatever can destroy ghosts._ Harmony thought grimly. This place could be a good base of operations, so after she could pillage everything from Myrtle's mind they would need to neutralize her to make her keep her silence. On the other hand, Harmony still had a long, _long_ way to go before she could sift through any but the most open, innocent, _foolish_ minds. So she would need to wait a few years, and in that time surely a superior base of operations could be located.

Myrtle was floating above the tank of the toilet, picking at a spot on her chin. "This is a _girls' _bathroom, _they're _not girls."

"No, I just wanted to show them how… uh… nice it is in here." Hermione waved vaguely at the ancient mirror and the damp floor.

"Ask her if she saw anything." Harry hissed at Hermione.

"What are you whispering?" Myrtle glared.

"Nothing, we wanted to ask—" Harry began

"I wish people would stop talking behind my back!" Myrtle announced loudly "I _do _have feelings, you know, even if I _am _dead—"

"Myrtle, no one wants to upset you, Harry only—" Hermione tried to patch things up while Harmony was already making plans to get an exorcist or learn how to do it herself, after she learnt how to batter the minds of ghosts into submission, that is, instead of sneaking around their subconscious minds and throwing switches they didn't know existed and thus couldn't shield.

"No one wants to upset me! That's a good one!" Myrtle bawled. Harmony's neck muscles tensed in anger, stupid crybabies didn't deserve anything for their tantrums. "My life was nothing but misery at this place and now people come along ruining my death!"

"We wanted to ask you if you've seen anything funny lately, because a cat was attacked right outside your front door on Halloween." Hermione asked.

"Did you see anyone near here that night?" Harry asked

"I wasn't paying attention, Peeves upset me so much I came in here and tried to _kill _myself. Then, of course, I remembered that I'm…that I'm…" she said dramatically.

"Stop being a damned drama queen, Myrtle." Harmony growled.

Myrtle gave a tragic sob, rose in the air, turned over, and dove into the toilet, which would have splattered all over them if Harmony's rudimentary psi-shielding capacities hadn't kicked in and stopped the water from hitting them. She winced from the effort of doing so, and also at the very poor shield quality (a cheesy, stereotypical blue glow? Really?) as it flickered and faded, allowing the water to fall right back onto the floor. "Wow, that's pretty advanced magic, Harmony." her twin commented on what seemed to be a shimmering blue _Protego_. The fact that she'd actually said the word to fool them didn't help Hermione realize what it was either, though that was of course the desired outcome.

Hermione shrugged and sighed "Honestly, that was almost cheerful for Myrtle…Come on, let's go."

They had barely closed the door when a loud voice made three of them jump and the last one sigh in annoyance. "RON!" Percy Weasley had stopped in the middle of the hallway, with an expression of astonishment on his face. "That's a _girls' _bathroom! What were _you_—?"

"Just having a look around, clues, you know…" Ron was being honest to his family. Harmony mentally approved of this, even though she failed to practice it herself.

Percy seemed to swell up "Get. Away. From. There! Don't you _care _what this looks like? Coming back here while everyone's at dinner?"

Ron looked rather affronted at the accusation hidden behind those words "Why shouldn't we be here? Listen, we never laid a finger on that cat!"

"That's what I told Ginny, but she still seems to think you're going to be expelled, I've never seen her so upset, crying her eyes out, you might think of _her, _all the first years are thoroughly overexcited by this business—"

Ron cut him off, ears reddening with fury "_You _don't care about Ginny. _You're _just worried I'm going to mess up your chances of being Head Boy—"

"Five points from Gryffindor! And I hope it teaches you a lesson! No more _detective work, _or I'll write to Mum!" Percy was absent-mindedly rubbing his Prefect badge with his fingers. _I don't know what's wrong with my mind, but "fingering his badge" sounds so awkward… not that there's a way to state it without sounding awkward._ Harmony thought, smirking internally at herself. When Percy stalked off, the back of his neck was as red as Ron's ears, most likely from embarrassment, but perhaps from anger that he'd been revealed to Ron's friends like that.

* * *

"Who can it be, though? Who'd _want_ to frighten all the Squibs and Muggleborns out of Hogwarts?" Hermione pondered randomly over homework that night.

"Let's think, who do we know who thinks Muggleborns are scum?" Ron mocked, clearly still upset over accidentally lighting his homework on fire just now with his broken wand. Really, the Wizarding World should have realized the wonders of modern paper by now, much more flame-resistant… the only upside to parchment was that it didn't suffer from acid decomposition.

"If you're talking about Malfoy…" Hermione said slowly.

"Of course I am! You heard him—'_You'll be next, Mudbloods_!'—come on, you've only got to look at his foul rat face to know it's him—"

"Malfoy, the Heir of Slytherin?" Hermione seemingly questioned the boys' sanity.

Harry butted in "Look at his family. The whole lot of them have been in Slytherin; he's always boasting about it. They could easily be Slytherin's descendants. His father's definitely evil enough."

"They could've had the key to the Chamber of Secrets for centuries!" Ron hissed "Handing it down, father to son…"

"I suppose it is possible, if Malfoy's good enough at faking to give us all the impression that he's a total idiot." Harmony stated.

"But how do we prove it?" Harry asked tersely.

"Fastest way would be to murder him and then see if the attacks stop." Harmony said bluntly. Everyone ignored her, because obviously "what was right" and "what was easy" couldn't possibly be the same thing, hmm?

"There might be a way…Of course, it would be difficult. And dangerous, very dangerous. We'd be breaking about fifty school rules, I expect—" Hermione's words were rather slow…

"Can you just explain to us what we need to do?" Ron asked, trying to hurry her up.

Hermione huffed "Alright, what we'd need to do is to get inside the Slytherin common room and ask Malfoy a few questions without him realizing it's us."

_I could break into his mind and pillage it, but depending on his defences chances are it would be a total ruin by the time I finished tearing through. He would be able to keep me out, given I'm not very good yet, if his base non-amplified psychic power level is even within an order or two of magnitude of my level, but only if he is very well-trained… unlikely._ Harmony thought as Harry said "But that's impossible!"

"No, it's not, all we'd need would be some Polyjuice Potion."

"What's that?" Ron and Harry asked together.

"Snape mentioned it in class a few weeks ago—" Hermione began.

"D'you think we've got nothing better to do in Potions than listen to Snape?"

"When he's giving you instructions on how not to blow yourself and the dungeon up, YES, Ronald." Harmony hissed at him.

Hermione chose to ignore the moment of male idiocy "It transforms you into somebody else. Think about it! We could change into three of the Slytherins. No one would know it was us. Malfoy would probably tell us anything. He's probably boasting about it in the Slytherin common room right now, if only we could hear him."

Harmony chose to leave the fact that she could go plant bugs around the Slytherin Common Room unsaid because Hermione didn't need to know that electronics actually worked fine in Hogwarts "This Polyjuice stuff sounds a bit dodgy to me, what if we were stuck looking like three of the Slytherins forever?" Ron frowned.

"It wears off after a while, but getting hold of the recipe will be very difficult. Snape said it was in a book called _Moste Potente Potions _and it's bound to be in the Restricted Section of the library." There were definitely wards and charms around that section… Harmony could almost feel them if she strained hard enough while standing just outside the rope that separated the section from the rest of the Library.

"Hard to see why we'd want the book, really, if we weren't going to try and make one of the potions." Ron said, eyes narrowing in thought.

"I think that if we made it sound as though we were just interested in the theory, we might stand a chance."

"Let's see, a really thick teacher who'd fall for that. Oh, I know, his name is an old-fashioned security device plus the Shakespearean term for deer."

"You've read Shakespeare?" Hermione asked in surprise "Wow, I didn't expect that from you."

"Er…" Ron seemed uncertain between being pleased that Hermione was impressed and annoyed that she thought so little of him. "Anyhow, we have to approach Lockhart sometime…"

* * *

A/N: Am trying to keep chapters shorter than before, about 6K instead of 10K so it's easier to read in one sitting but still long enough not to be annoying.

I strongly suspect that by age 25 Harmony Jane Shepard will be a tired old war machine that keeps clanking along just because the world needs her and for no other reason. I doubt she'll still really have a soul by the time she hits age 20.

Some people asked when I would actually get my ass moving on writing the rest of the SupCom/ME/Halo/StarCraft universe's primary series (i.e. SupCom: ME 3), it's probably after ME 4 has been released (i.e. all ME 3 DLCs are out and over with, although I will completely break the story into something reasonable), after StarCraft 2: Legacy of the Void comes out, and after I figure out the general timeline of Babylon 5. In other words… (wish FFN would let me make the font larger and allow superscripts...)

**SOON**(TM)

REVIEW!


	5. Commencing Assaults

A/N: Yes, the chapter title is a reference to the Allied Vehicle script from Red Alert 2 or, in Yuri's Revenge, the Grizzly Tank voice.

There will be many more awkward incidents in coming years (HP: "Why… are you sitting on my lap?" HJS: "I'm large enough to hide you behind, you scrawny git." HP: "Can you get off? It's hurting my legs." HJS: "…I should have seen that one coming." _He is really a moron at talking to women…_), including Harmony trying to play matchmaker.

* * *

Chapter 5: Commencing Assaults

Harmony was shoring up her mental defences as usual and running over combat drills and simulations in her head, what she always did whenever she was literally bored shitless. It was literal because she'd actually gone to the bathroom during the lesson—TWICE!—due to not wanting to be in the same room as Lockhart for a whole period at a time. Even the torture-trained part of Harmony thought it was unhealthy to spend more than a couple instances per day fantasizing about smashing out those teeth one by one with a chisel and taking a board of nails to that face before tearing said board upward.

_Blah blah blah blah… The Homorphus Charm is to force Animagi who have lost their minds back to human form and standard human thought patterns you moron, they haven't found a cure for lycanthropy yet. Hell, even I only know that the more rabid ones need a bullet to the head while it doesn't pass between generations and is not spread via sexual contact, only by saliva to blood contact when transformed, so the less rabid ones can be allowed to live like normal people… Blah blah blah blah blah…_ Harmony thought absently as she continued rifling through another library book and photographing it page by page on microfilm. Might as well use her time for SOMETHING, right? She was at the very back of the class and doing it under her desk, Hermione was sitting in front of her, sitting up and blocking the view, while Ron was preoccupied reading another library book (had to be intelligent to chat with Hermione) next to her. She'd chosen the corner seat to prevent anyone else from seeing, and that was good enough since Ron left her to "whatever she was doing" after she'd frowned at him.

"Homework—compose a poem about my defeat of the Wagga Wagga Werewolf! Signed copies of _Magical Me _to the author of the best one!" Harmony would need to turn her Flattery skill to maximum for that, but she didn't give a shit anyways. What she did give a shit about was watching as Hermione approached and flattered Lockhart into signing a permission slip. _Trapping a ghoul with a tea-strainer? What a fucking joke._ Harmony's mind chimed, as she averted her eyes from the absurdly huge peacock feather quill that Lockhart had pulled out from one of his desk drawers. He scrawled a similarly disgustingly large and fancy signature on the note Hermione had given him without reading it first and handed it back to her.

Then he bullshitted something at Harry about him playing Seeker before. _There is no such thing as a National Squad, it's the National Team you fraud!_ Harmony thought bitterly. _Less able players? Hah, Hermione's more able than you are, and if I had the chance I'd like to spit you on one of the school brooms from ass to mouth._ As for why she wouldn't use her own broom, first, she didn't want to taint it and second, she didn't own one. Having an on-call evac chopper stationed at a nearby outpost was vastly superior to a broom after all, in speed and more importantly armament and protection. The only downside was the fact that choppers needed maintenance and fuel while brooms drew on the user's magical core i.e. cellular reactors and didn't need much except polishing and occasional trimming. On the other hand that meant brooms eventually completely gave out from trimming, but then again chopper hulls also needed heat de-stressing on occasion (only works perfectly well due to homogeneous construction of the main hull, given that extra armour, weapons, and parts were all appliqués) and would eventually need replacing anyhow…

After they "nabbed" the book from the Library, they were back in Myrtle's bathroom again. Ron had opened his mouth to object but had kept it in after Hermione pole-axed him with a few words on how no one in their right mind would look there.

Some of the potions in the book seemed to have wonderful powers from what Harmony could see. She'd have to microfilm it sometime, the man who seemed to have been turned inside-out seemed quite a good torture method…

"Here it is…" Hermione hissed excitedly as they found the right page, with the illustrations of people transforming into others having looks of intense pain on their faces. The funny thing was that when Harmony forced herself to see past the psychic dimensions and just see the pigments as was, she only saw the starting frames of the animations that the psychic aspects of wizarding pictures would have otherwise prompted her mind to see "This is the most complicated potion I've ever seen, lacewing flies, leeches, fluxweed, and knotgrass, well, they're easy enough, they're in the student store-cupboard, we can help ourselves. Oooh, look, powdered horn of a bicorn… don't know where we're going to get that… shredded skin of a boomslang… that'll be tricky, too… and of course a bit of whoever we want to change into."

While Harmony was busy musing over the ways Wizards named their creatures, even refusing to use the names non-Wizards used just to feel superior—a bicorn was also known as a certain type of rhinoceros where both horns on the adult were obviously pointed unlike the stereotypical rhino where the second, upper horn was more of a bump than a impalement weapon—Ron had other concerns "Excuse me? What d'you mean, a bit of whoever we're changing into? I'm drinking _nothing _with Crabbe's toenails in it…"

"We don't have to worry about that yet, though, because we add those bits last…" Hermione ignored him.

"D'you realize how much we're going to have to steal, Hermione? Shredded skin of a boomslang, that's definitely not in the students' cupboard. What're we going to do, break into Snape's private stores? I don't know if this is a good idea…" Harry mumbled the last part worriedly.

"Well, if you two are going to chicken out, fine. _I _don't want to break rules, you know. _I _think threatening Muggle-borns is far worse than brewing up a difficult potion. But if you don't want to find out if it's Malfoy, I'll go straight to Madam Pince now and hand the book back in." Hermione's expression was a bright-eyed blush of the variety that said _I DON'T WANNA DIE!_ At least, last time Harmony had that expression it had been shortly after a life-threatening situation, crawling through the sand under a sheet of barbed wire while live fire machine gun bullets flew over the wire. In most actual combat exercises or real encounters where she had some control over the engagement she was more calm and collected. It seemed the twins were more alike than Harmony had once thought.

Well, that was certain, because if Hermione had been a fraternal twin sister… Jane would have named her Melody Shepard and the two of them could have been a "Symphony of Change" or as Harmony called it "Symphony of Death". However, knowing they were identical twins, the second's name, Hermione Jean, was a corruption of the first, Harmony Jane, and it turned out Hermione wasn't destined to be a war machine… Harmony should really remember more often that they were identical twins, even though she was much tougher than her younger double.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you'd be persuading us to break rules…" Ron had a small smile now, inclining his head and looking at Hermione in a manner that would have been very awkward to even try if he'd been a few years older "All right, we'll do it. But not toenails, okay?"

While Harry was asking about how long it would have to make, Harmony asked Ron "Do you have a foot fetish" his frown told her she didn't understand the term "An obsession with feet? Toes? Is that why you're so focused on Crabbe's toenails?"

Ron gulped, turning a funny shade of pale at the question and looking as if he was trying not to throw up. When Hermione mentioned a month for the potion however, he went even paler and looked at her in shock "A month? Malfoy could have attacked half the Muggleborns in the school by then!" Harmony thought he wasn't so much concerned about half the Muggleborns in the school as one particular Muggleborn, of course, this was hilarious to Harmony… Hermione's glare told her she didn't get his concern at all "But it's the best plan we've got, so full steam ahead, I say."

Privately, Harmony thought that were it not for the Hogwarts Express, wizards wouldn't understand what that meant. She couldn't wait to get her hands on a wizarding flying car and investigate the psychic-based antigravity fields it used… it could be very useful for say hover-tank technology… SI had still not obtained intel on how the Robot Tanks employed during the Psychic Dominator Disaster by the Allies actually worked, this sort of thing could be a great breakthrough in staying ahead in every technological aspect. She hoped that the data being recorded from the Library would be enough to maintain the tech edge SI prided itself on having and hanging onto. They had to be better in everything that mattered, fighter aircraft, main-line armoured vehicles, and medium warships, they had to, to keep their relatively small standing army above the competition.

While Harmony was checking for the coast to be clear (she was the only rational choice for the task) Ron murmured to Harry "It'll be a lot less hassle if you can just knock Malfoy off his broom tomorrow."

Well, she couldn't disagree with that.

* * *

Harmony was glad she'd brought her clear plastic umbrella (she had many non-clear ones too) instead of her usual rain jacket and goggles, because Hermione and Ron were crowded in on either side of her under said umbrella as they watched the game. One of the Bludgers deemed to be constantly going for Harry… odd…

Even Harmony's gunnery-trained eyes were having a hard time tracking the Snitch in the rain, so it was no surprise that Harry took a while to see it, hovering over Malfoy's shoulder. Harry seemed to freeze up until the Bludger hit him in the arm, then he shot at Malfoy, half-slumped over his broom, caught the snitch—_dumbass should have known Malfoy wouldn't have the guts to play a game of chicken with him and charged sooner_—and ploughed into the ground. There was a roar from the crowd as Harry looked at the only thing that ever mattered worth jack shit in the retarded game called Quidditch, said something to himself, and passed out.

He came to a few moments later when Ron, Hermione and Harmony were standing next to him, with Lockhart grinning down at him. "Oh, no, not you."

"Doesn't know what he's saying. Not to worry, Harry. I'm about to fix your arm." Lockhart half-shouted to the crowd of anxious Gryffindors.

"_No_! I'll keep it like this, thanks…" Harry tried to sit up but there was a clicking noise from nearby "I don't want a photo of this, Colin." He said loudly just before there was a scuffle and Colin found the camera being held high out of his reach while a certain extremely violent and hazardous bushy-haired brunette made threatening gestures at him and also at his camera.

"Lie back, Harry. It's a simple charm I've used countless times." Lockhart said with what he evidently thought was a winning grin. Harmony on the other hand was thinking of getting two birds with one stone by forcibly, er, introducing Lockhart's face to Colin's camera with the objects having high relative velocity toward each other. Of course, chances were even many jagged pieces of torn wood and metal would not puncture Lockhart's ego or thick skull.

"Why can't I just go to the hospital wing?" Harry gritted out.

"He should really, Professor. Great capture, Harry, really spectacular, your best yet, I'd say." Wood was grinning so much that Harmony was irritated at him too, given her best male friend was injured at the moment.

"Stand back." Lockhart said, he was rolling up his jade-green sleeves.

"Sir you are not a licensed healer, it is you who should stand back right now, sir if you do not stand back I will not be responsible for my ACTIONS SIR!" Harmony screeched the last part as Lockhart twirled his wand, ignoring her, and directed it straight at Harry's arm. It was… de-boned in a mere moment and Harmony's vision was glazed with a dark red tint, everything seemed to be in black and red, and it was almost as if Lockhart's next words were heard through water while some sounds in the environment were amplified and some were dulled "Ah… Yes. Well, that can sometimes happen. But the point is, the bones are no longer broken. That's the thing to bear in mind. So, Harry, just toddle up to the hospital wing—ah, Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, Miss Shepard, would you escort him?— and Madam Pomfrey will be able to… er… tidy you up a bit."

Harmony carried him, and was glad she'd brought her surveillance equipment in her backpack so she could listen in on any suspicious activity in the Hospital Wing, in case whoever fucked with the Bludger came for Harry. She had a feeling it might have been the house-elf Dobby that Harry had mentioned before, trying to make Harry go home instead of stay at school with the Chamber of Secrets open again…

* * *

"You should have come straight to me!" Madam Pomfrey was practically steaming at the ears as she held up the de-boned limb "I can mend bones in a second… but growing them back…"

"You will be able to, won't you?" Harry was wide-eyed and desperate. Harmony said nothing, she was wondering when the red-black vision situation would rectify itself, maybe after she beat up Lockhart? This sort of thing happened at the end of last year too, though she hadn't told anyone about that episode. Maybe she just needed to do some damage to Lockhart to vent. Yes, that would be good.

"I'll be able to, certainly, but it will be painful, you'll have to stay the night…" She tossed Harry a pair of pyjamas. Hermione stayed outside the curtain drawn around Harry's bed as Ron gaped at Harmony cutting Harry's clothes off and spluttered indignantly. A simple glare had shut the black-haired boy up after she got tired of his whining.

"I know more about dressing injured limbs than Ron does, Harry, so please don't bother commenting." It took roughly ten seconds to get the boneless arm through the shirt. That is, it took about three tries for an insertion before Harmony realized she could be cutting off circulation in the fingers by forcing the issue and sawed the shirt sleeve off with the serrated part of her knife blade. "And it's not like I haven't seen guys naked before… Hermione I do not appreciate that indignant gasp, it's called biology class."

Ron tried to ignore the awkward situation beside him as Harmony and Harry argued over removing his underwear "How can you stick up for Lockhart now, Hermione, eh? If Harry had wanted de-boning he would have asked."

"Fine, Ron, help Harry get his underwear off… thank god Madame Pomfrey used Scourgify on you first…" Harmony had startled Ron at first but then turned back toward the black-haired boy to finish her words before stalking out of the curtains with her nose in the air.

"Anyone can make a mistake, and it doesn't hurt anymore, does it, Harry?"

Harry sighed "No, but it doesn't do anything else either."

"Hermione, the dumb fuck had NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL HE WAS DOING!" Harmony barked at her sister, almost not believing someone who shared her genes could possibly be so… so _dumb_.

"Language, Miss Shepard!" Hermione might have been giving up on Harmony as a lost cause, but Pomfrey didn't seem to have done so, even though she added in a quiet voice with a smile "Although I agree with the general sentiments you expressed." She went past the curtain once Harry called that he was in bed and ready. "You're in for a rough night, re-growing bones is a nasty business." After giving him some Skele-Gro (complete with coughing and spluttering) she left Harmony to help Harry get some water down.

"We won, though, that was some catch you made. Malfoy's face . . . he looked ready to kill." Ron was grinning now.

"I want to know how he fixed that Bludger." Hermione growled darkly.

"We can add that to the list of questions we'll ask him when we've taken the Polyjuice Potion, I hope it tastes better than this stuff…" Harry sank back into his pillows. Harmony shuddered, the pillows at Hogwarts were entirely too thick and soft for her, she's practically sprained her neck once trying to sleep on the too-soft bed with the double pillows they'd provided, just to see what it was like. It had hurt all day until she'd managed to knead the tension out of her muscles. On the other hand, sleeping leaned up against the wall of a cave or a tree didn't feel uncomfortable at all, at least for her.

"If it's got bits of Slytherins in it? You've got to be joking…" Ron faked astonishment.

The door of the hospital wing slammed open at that moment, the filthy and still soaking wet Gryffindor Quidditch team came in and Harmony hurriedly safetied, locked and stowed away her submachine gun, which had come out at the same time as she'd vaulted over the hospital bed one bed down from Harry's, slightly further from the door. No one noticed her doing this as Ron, Harry and Hermione had been distracted and the Quidditch team was too focused on Harry.

"Unbelievable flying, Harry," George, identifiable by his psychic signature but also by the pattern of his freckles, congratulated Harry "I've just seen Marcus Flint yelling at Malfoy. Something about having the Snitch on top of his head and not noticing. Malfoy didn't seem too happy."

Apparently the team had foregone changing into clean clothes for raiding the kitchens for cakes, sweets and bottles of pumpkin juice. They'd just started what they promised to be a good party—Harmony didn't understand the idea of celebratory parties, they were quite pointless if you asked her—when Harmony finished planting her bugs, mere moments before Pomfrey stormed over from her office, clearly wanting to give the team time for congratulations but not to let them get a party started "This boy needs rest, he's got thirty-three bones to regrow! Out! OUT!"

* * *

Harmony would have sincerely liked to say that while Harry was out of action she managed to locate the Chamber of Secrets and sealed it shut with liberal application of high explosives. Barring that, she would have liked to say that she'd located the monster before it attacked anyone else and taken it down with explosives, bullets, etc.

However, both would be flat-out lies, and, unless it's to an enemy, a good soldier didn't lie about critical tactical or strategic intelligence.

What she COULD say with total honesty was that shortly after Harry's disastrous run-in with Lockhart after the Quidditch game, she gave the motherfucker a good beating. Lockhart ended up in the hospital wing shortly before Harry came out, with all his teeth knocked out, blindfolded, eyebrows duct-taped off, and his nose sliced off with a spare bayonet she had hidden in her trunk (prevents testing for blood on the bayonet and combat knives she usually carried). Unfortunately, Madam Pomfrey would be able to fix him completely, but the mutilation was worth it given she'd knocked him out, blindfolded him, and then beaten the snot out of him before chucking him into the hallway outside the Hospital Wing.

Also unfortunately, this only resulted in further suspicion that Harry was the Heir of Slytherin, given Lockhart had irked him before he was, as the students put it, mauled. Harmony, however, had bigger fish to fry once she retrieved the audio recordings. She was now almost certain that the attacker used a directed psychic energy weapon given how it managed to fry the inside of Colin's camera as well as petrifying the poor boy. If only she had access to that camera, perhaps she could analyze which part was the one superheated by the beam weapon… if it was as she suspected, the psychic-recording chemical structures in the wizarding film, then there wasn't a creature she knew of from the books in the Library that fit the description. On the other hand, if she could somehow compile the afterimage data she'd managed to scavenge from the location of the attack, maybe she could recalibrate her shields to improve effectiveness against the sort of psychic blast in question? It was possible, she knew, given that her mother had had no problem tolerating the close-range control attempts and overload pulses of multiple Yuri Clones before she cut them all down with gunfire. If this assault pattern was anything like those ones, she should be able to survive even though she'd inherited less resistant genes from her father.

Well, enough brooding about how her mother had settled for less than she should have and enough lamenting about the fact that she was born… Harmony's mind shifted gears abruptly and she found herself somewhat pleased that her suspicion about Dobby had been vindicated. He also confirmed the fact that the Chamber was opened once more, not that he had to, Dumbledore had said enough. But that meant Dumbledore knew who had opened it last time, and the only option Harmony could think of was…

_HOLY FUCKING SHIT VOLDEMORT'S POSSESSING SOMEONE IN THE CASTLE AGAIN! AND GIVEN HOW DUMBASS-DORK LET QUIRRELL RUN AMOK FOR SO LONG CHANCES ARE HE'LL BE TOO LATE TO ACT THIS TIME AS WELL… Why the fuck do I sound like I'm panicking? I hate panicking._ Harmony frowned mentally at herself before sinking back into thought_ Alternatively, he could really not know who would be doing such a thing. Quirrell he tasked Snape to watch closely, and he had his suspicions, but he doesn't like to take stabs in the dark and is too soft to make the hard decisions at times, so Quirrell got to live until I killed him…. This year though, it seems Dumbledore really has no idea who's being possessed._

However, Dobby refused to divulge crucial information, which was a kink in Harmony's hunting plans, but that wasn't much of an issue. They WOULD find the culprit, and put an end to them if they weren't possessed, or exorcise them as best as possible if they were, even if that meant a merciful bullet to the head. Come to think of it, what the hell was the staff good for besides teaching the theory of magic anyhow?

On the Sunday of Harry's release he found them in Myrtle's bathroom, and Harmony alerted the other two as soon as he entered the door, as she'd been assigned (i.e. assigned by herself) to watch the door while Hermione and Ron worked together on the potion. "Harry's arrived." She said, looking at the mirror she had propped along the room's wall near the stall door to see him.

Hermione opened her stall door almost at once and Harry jumped a little "Come in… how's your arm?"

"Fine." Harry stood outside since Hermione was too large to let him in. Well, she wasn't fat, it was as she was significantly taller than either of the boys were and had wider shoulders and everything else than either of the boys. Ron had fit in the remaining space left from Hermione and the cauldron that sat over a blue waterproof psychic-fuelled fire, but Harry certainly would not. In scientific reality, the "fire" was a directional thermal radiator, converting psychic energy to thermal energy, with waste energy being radiated in the blue emissions band. If it had been otherwise, the water in the toilet bowl would have boiled. On the other hand, Harmony was curious about the fact that the flame would hold steady at the right intensity for the times when Hermione wasn't here, unless it was disturbed too much, in which case it was likely to explode. It seemed it drew on ambient psychic background energy, used a self-stabilizing harmonic, and the same was true for its containment/directing matrix…

Now if that could be done for SI technology, it could be a large step forward in directed energy weaponry. Ron was in the meantime explaining something to Harry "We'd've come to meet you, but we decided to get started on the Polyjuice Potion. We've decided this is the safest place to hide it."

Harry started talking about Colin but Hermione cut him off. Then he started speaking about Dobby, which Harmony already knew of.

Ron looked triumphant "This settles it, Lucius Malfoy must've opened the Chamber when he was at school here and now he's told dear old Draco how to do it. It's obvious. Wish Dobby'd told you what kind of monster's in there, though. I want to know how come nobody's noticed it sneaking around the school."

"Maybe it can make itself invisible," said Hermione, stabbing some of the leeches down toward the bottom of the cauldron. "Or maybe it can disguise itself—pretend to be a suit of armor or something—I've read about Chameleon Ghouls"

"Only one problem with your hypothesis, Ron, Lucius Malfoy isn't old enough to have opened the chamber fifty years ago." Harmony told him bluntly.

"…Right, that's right, Harmony…" Ron looked downward and frowned, then he shrugged it off, looking to Harry "So Dobby stopped us from getting on the train and broke your arm… You know what, Harry? If he doesn't stop trying to save your life he's going to kill you."

"Hallelujah tell us something that's not obvious." Ron looked miffed at Harmony's mumbling "Just fooling with you, Ron, don't take it too seriously, SOMEONE had to make the observation, just to make sure everyone knew it, and it sure wasn't going to be Harry, Hermione or me. You're an important part of this little crew, kid, and don't you forget it."

"Thanks… wait, what did you mean by 'kid'?" Ron had had quite enough of that from five older brothers, thank you very much…

"We're all kids, aren't we? Only twelve years old?"

"…Right."

* * *

By Monday morning, the school was full of something between panic and rumours regarding the petrifaction of Colin and the beating of Lockhart. Most of the girl population in Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were sorry to see Lockhart injured due to being his stupid fangirls, but most of the boys were… overjoyed to say the least. The few that weren't overjoyed were lamenting how he couldn't have been gone for longer. Ravenclaw threw what could potentially count as a party (by the nerd house's standards) upon hearing the news of the beating, and Slytherin didn't give a shit as usual.

Ginny, who sat next to Colin in her Charms classes, seemed very upset about the attack. Her twin brothers were trying to cheer her up until Harmony broke Fred's nose when she punched a bit harder than intended. That probably did more for cheering up the young redhead Harmony had been chatting with at the moment than said twin brothers jumping out from behind statues covered in fur and boils.

Hidden from the teachers, a black market of fake "protective" trinkets sprang up. Neville bought some pretty smelly stuff before Harmony pointed out to his face that "The only thing those will protect you from is human contact, because they smell pretty bad. Besides, you're a pure-blood, you don't need to worry about this stuff."

"They went for Filch first, and everyone knows I'm almost a Squib." The chubby boy had practically squeaked as the bulky brunette loomed over him (literally, as she stood practically a head taller). She smirked at him, shook her head, and walked back to where her friends were. The magical world was so superstitious that they'd have a hard time ever progressing forward at this rate. They would sooner or later be massively outstripped by technology… and already had begun to be.

In the second week of December, Professor McGonagall came around to sign people up for staying over Christmas. Since Malfoy was staying they all decided to stay, Harry, Ron and Hermione would be the "insertion team" as Harmony had dubbed them and she would as usual be the muscle when needed and backup in case something went horribly wrong. The other three just thought it would be a good time to worm information out of Malfoy. However, theft of the bicorn horn and boomslang skin was still necessary from Snape's private stores. Harmony had no problem with this as she managed to pull the operation off without a hitch while Snape was teaching a class, during one of her DADA periods when she went to the "bathroom" for an extended period of time. Being able to run faster than any regular human had its advantages…

As Hermione threw the new ingredients into the cauldron, she remarked happily "It'll be ready in two weeks." Personally, Harmony was amazed that potion-making i.e. trial and error chemistry-slash-biochemistry had managed to get as far as it did, since it was so… relatively un-quantitative in its methods of analysis. Then again, millennia of trial and error did give some base guidelines and thus allowed further research and development, although she hadn't read of new potions being invented more often than about five years apart, and usually it took significantly longer i.e. on the order of 20+ years per potion. It was almost as slow relative to a human timescale as biological evolution was relative to a geological timescale.

* * *

A week after the last ingredients were added, the four of them were nearing the Entrance Hall when Harmony and a moment later Hermione detected chatter coming from the general direction of the notice board in the Entrance Hall. When they got in Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas gestured for them to come over "They're starting a Dueling Club! First meeting tonight! I wouldn't mind dueling lessons; they might come in handy one of these days"

"What, you reckon Slytherin's monster can duel?" Ron quipped, though he too was reading the post with interest. Harmony and Hermione had already read it while walking across the Hall with the boys. "Could be useful… shall we go?"

"Why not? We might learn something vaguely useful there." Harmony left out the fact that she'd been trying to practice the Killing Curse on her own in unused classrooms. Hermione preferred using her extra time gained from only needing about six hours of sleep each day for reading large Library books, Harmony preferred microfilming those books and practicing combat skills, magical or not.

There sure were a lot of them, Hogwarts was evidently designed to hold many thousands of students when the population couldn't provide more than about 1500 at most at a time. Anyhow, she'd had no success thus far, even when she screwed up all the hatred she had available for war criminals, it always fizzled out before it could get to the other end of a classroom. She didn't understand why, it was basically a slower-flying, green-band radiator version of her mother's speedy microwave-band-radiating Psi-blast. Evidently she should have inherited the basic mental construction to cast it, even if it was a lot less efficient per unit energy involved (in the actual blast), it used a wand as an amplifier and so should be easier to cast, especially as no guidance or redirection system was incorporated…Then again she didn't have the many years of experience in psychic warfare that her mother had, nor had she actually witnessed enough atrocities to hate enough to cast the curse.

Harry and Hermione were both in agreement, so at eight PM that evening they hurried back to the Great Hall. A golden stage had been set up along one wall and the long dining tables had been removed. The candles overhead were still there, which Harmony had always questioned the wisdom of, hot wax falling on one's head couldn't be comfortable, right? Apparently the candle holders were charmed to prevent overflow of melted wax and the device synthesized new wax as well as lengthening the thread over time if the candle was alight… It was always amazing what the mind could come up with to bypass the laws of physics and make shit happen the way one wanted it to.

Most of the school seemed to be carrying their wands and looking excited, standing around the Great Hall in small groups, pairs, and a few single people. "I wonder who'll be teaching us?" Hermione said as they moved through the rather sparse "crowd". "Someone told me Flitwick was a duelling champion when he was young, maybe it'll be him." Harmony had a very bad feeling it wouldn't be Flitwick as Lockhart entered her field of vision/fire.

"As long as it's not…" Harry stopped short with a groan as Lockhart in robes of deep plum walked onto the stage accompanied by Snape, who was as usual black-clad.

"Gather round, gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent!" Lockhart was waving for silence and somehow got it

_Not excellent if we want to keep our IQ from the diffusion of stupidity from you, you dumbass._ Harmony thought.

"Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions—for full" Harmony's mind snickered and changed the word to _false_ "details, see my published works. Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape." Lockhart's smile showed all his recently-regrown teeth. "He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about duelling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry—you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"

_I'm only afraid Snape might get chucked into jail for your death, Lockhart. On the other hand, I might actually throw a party… or get Fred and George to do so because I have no idea how to throw a party._ Harmony's mind quipped.

"Wouldn't it be good if they finished each other off?" Ron murmured to Harry

"Now that you said it, you jinxed it, it's not going to happen." Harmony's savagely grinning face appeared between the boys' faces and both jumped back a bit in shock. She'd moved up just in time to not get knocked in the chin by a shoulder and then pulled her head back.

Snape's smile was obviously of the teeth-grinding variety when he jerked his head sharply in a "bow", as Lockhart bowed with a flourish and much hand-twirling. Harmony wanted to shoot him, you NEVER bow like that to an opponent, hell, even a head-jerk was a bit much in her opinion. In a decent fight you'd just start throwing everything you got at the other guy the moment you can i.e. before he can so much as notice you're there. The two levelled their wands in front of them like swords and Lockhart talked again "As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position. On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course."

"I wouldn't bet on that." Harry said.

"Snape doesn't want too many witnesses when he finally cracks and offs Lockhart, Harry, so Lockhart's right in this case. I know, I'm disappointed too."

The count hit three and both swung their wands, Snape yelling "_Expelliarmus_!" At the same time, Harmony narrowed her eyes and did her best to record the psychic waveform data. She couldn't get a handle on how the spell worked fast enough from the limited data she managed to record, but given the way Lockhart's hands moved in the moment before the rest of the energy was expended on his torso and he went flying backwards, blasted off his feet, she had a couple hypotheses already. She'd have to practice with her friends to obtain more data…

Malfoy, some Slytherins, and quite a few others cheered, Harmony among them. In the meantime, Hermione was standing on her tiptoes (about 169 cm was still shorter than the older years) to see over the crowd "Do you think he's all right?" She squealed, her fingers covering her mouth.

"Who cares?" Harry and Ron said. Harmony on the other hand, remarked "Who gives a shit?"

"Well, there you have it! That was a Disarming Charm, as you see, I've lost my wand… ah, thank you, Miss Brown—yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy—however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see…" Harmony was not amused, Snape, even less so. "Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help me…"

Harmony was not impressed to have to deal with Dean Thomas. Of course, her strength of intent managed to devote enough of her brain capacity to figuring out how to do it that she succeeded on her first try disarming Dean. She then Stunned him before slapping up a shield around herself just in case… it turned out to be a good idea as Lockhart was panicking for a bit before Snape used a broad-spread _Finite Incantatem_ to stop the effects of most of the spells flying around the room. A haze of greenish smoke from Neville's spellwork lingered over the Hall with both Neville and Justin lying on the floor panting. Sarah Fawcett was getting up from on top of her partner while trying not to crush the other girl, who had apparently kicked Ernie Macmillan in the balls by accident given how she was apologizing profusely and Ernie was clutching his crotch in pain. Terry Boot had managed to get hurt cracking his head against the stage so hard he bled. Ron had cursed Seamus from his broken wand and was holding the Irishman up…

Hermione was wrestling/rolling with Millicent Bulstrode across the disaster area, the other girl was even larger than Hermione and Harmony were, and more muscled too, but that didn't quite make up for the high muscle density, muscle _output density_ (force exerted per kilogram of muscle) and reinforced bone structure of the twins. The girls were punching, kicking and snarling at each other, but Hermione was beginning to gain the upper hand before Harmony grabbed Bulstrode's arms and threw her off her twin. "Get up, Hermione." She pulled Hermione up with one hand almost effortlessly.

"I think I'd better teach you how to _block _unfriendly spells." Lockhart said "Let's have a volunteer pair — Longbottom and Finch-Fletchley, how about you?"

Snape glided over (decades later, Harmony would compare the movement pattern of Scrin Harvesters to his) "A bad idea, Professor Lockhart, Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending what's left of Finch-Fletchley up to the hospital wing in a matchbox." Neville's face grew pinker and he looked down at his feet until a hand clasped his shoulder hard and another forced his chin up, along with a harsh brown-eyed glare that said clearly _"Stand up for yourself!"_ He obeyed without question as the authority radiating from Harmony was great enough to overcome his fear of Snape. "How about Malfoy and Potter?" Snape bore a twisted grin on his face.

"Excellent idea!" Lockhart beamed as Harmony winced. _Idiot boy doesn't know how to say "NO"!_ She thought bitterly as her best male friend (her best friend would always be her twin) and the blonde asshole onto the stage. "Now, Harry, When Draco points his wand at you, you do _this._" Lockhart did a wiggling motion with his wand and dropped it "Whoops…my wand is a little overexcited…"

Snape whispered something in Malfoy's ear and a smirk spread across the blonde's face. "Professor, could you show me that blocking thing again?" Harry asked Lockhart.

"Scared?" Malfoy taunted.

"You wish." Harry shot back.

"Just do what I did, Harry!" Lockhart cuffed Harry on the back and ignored him.

"What, drop my wand?" Harry was ignored as Lockhart began the countdown.

"Three… two… one… go!"

Malfoy quickly raised his want and yelled "_Serpensortia_!"

Harmony was unfortunately about to realize she had a bad habit of gross overestimation of human intelligences, mostly due to hanging around her family too much in her formative years. The rest of the school was clearly not as intelligent as they should be, and Harry… he was about to rebuild every damned definition of IDIOT that Harmony could think of.

* * *

A/N: GUESS WHICH CHARACTERS! (If you've read ANY of this you should know, and they are **different** characters.)

Character 1:

_We cannot know, we were not there, it's beyond our comprehension  
__To know the toll that battle brings, of resolute intention  
__To carry on, day by day, for all you loved and hoped for  
__To live in peace a happy life, away from bloody war_

Character 2:

_You saw, you felt, you knew full well, as friend and foe were taken  
__By bloody death, that your life too, was forfeit and forsaken  
__Yet on you went and fought and died, in your close and private hell  
__For Life or* Love* or Liberty and memories never to tell_

* = Strikethrough these two words.

The difference between the two should be clear, and it's pretty obvious who they will be.

REVIEW!


	6. Assault In Progress

A/N: Another Grizzly Tank line.

Been reading Inuyasha fanfics lately, particularly ones that focus on what I've come to call "The Kikyo Situation". Rest assured that any previous spawns involved in any of my fics are included for any combination of information, comic relief, or additional firepower, never "to be an enemy or obstacle to something" unless that something is itself an enemy/obstacle to the current spawn cycle. Also, if Harmony learnt later how to see the proverbial "red strings" (and she's not going to) she's going to need to saw through a damned noose around her neck to be free just because the multiverse (i.e. whatever deities you believe in) is an asshole and into what Harmony considers crack shippings (her plus Harry equals ERROR).

* * *

Chapter 6: Assault In Progress

A long black snake emerged out the end of the wand from a spatial portal, probably "Recall"-ed (_I should really play less StarCraft, referencing an Arbiter ability regarding a snake summoning is just… so nerdy_… Harmony thought) from somewhere… it wasn't a black mamba, fortunately, but it still fell onto the ground heavily and prepared to strike. The crowd stampeded backwards, in quite a few cases screaming, as Snape said lazily "Don't move, Potter, I'll get rid of it." Harmony's pistol was already discreetly out of its holster and ready to snap up and fire if the snake attacked.

"Allow me!" Lockhart shouted, brandishing his wand at the snake. Instead of vanishing, the snake flew up into the air and fell back onto the ground with a loud smack. Evidently angry, it slithered straight toward Justin Finch-Fletchley. Harmony had the gun pointed at where the snake's head would be a moment into the attack now, if it lunged. She only wished she could just blow the idiot's brains out and be done with it.

Harry ran at the snake, hissing and spluttering madly, and the snake settled to the floor, looking at Harry with a tilt of its head as if curious. Harmony could swear she caught the tail end of a psychic transmission of some sort from Harry to the snake… Harry looked up at Justin and grinned, but Justin looked angry and scared. "What do you think you're playing at?" He screamed, then tried to run from the Hall before Harmony, guns safetied, locked, holstered and concealed in the previous second, clothe-lined him with her right arm after she made sure Snape had vanished the snake.

Her left hand seized the front of his robes before he could hit the ground and she started bellowing at him with her face about thirty centimetres from his. Witnesses claimed they saw Justin's hair being blown backwards from the sheer wall of sound being blasted in his face and that he almost shut his eyes from the blast. "HE JUST SAVED YOUR SORRY ASS FROM THAT SNAKE, WHEN HE TALKED TO IT, IT STOPPED, GUESS WHAT KID THAT SNAKE IS LETHALLY POISONOUS" Not a false statement, it might not have been a black mamba, but there were many, many poisonous black snakes out there… "AND IF HARRY HAD WANTED TO HURT YOU HE COULD HAVE JUST LET IT ATTACK YOU, INSTEAD HE STOPPED IT, SO DON'T GO RAGING ON HIM YOU UNGRATEFUL DUMBASS!" She took yet another deep breath in "Any questions?" The hall was eerily silent. "Good. Harry, Ron, Hermione, we're out of here, if these people are too stupid to know that you saved one of them from being bitten by a poisonous snake, they weren't worth saving anyways. Before any of you even tries to claim Harry is the Heir of Slytherin or something similarly retarded, remember that me and my sister are both Muggleborns and we are two of his three best friends."

She stalked out of the Hall leading the other three, people parting before her like they were afraid of catching something. _They should be afraid… of catching Full Metal Jackets._ She thought angrily at their looks of fear and disgust. _Harry you fucking MORON this was CRITICAL OPERATIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL US. That's it, I'm going to invade his mind sometime later and download all his more important or odd memories, then record them in a journal so that I can know what the hell he's stupid enough to hide so that this shit doesn't happen again._

She grabbed Harry as soon as they got into the Gryffindor Common Room and slammed him back into an armchair "You're a Parselmouth. Why didn't you tell us?" She ground out, resisting the urge to knee him in the crotch or at least put her knee there in threat.

"I'm a what? Harmony you're scaring me." Instead of an eye tic of irritation her whole head was practically vibrating in fury, apparently, this was very intimidating, so Harmony willed her neck muscles to relax. After all, if she made herself get even angrier over this… _Well, that did the trick, got past the shaking stage and into the Zen stage, good._ She smiled internally.

"_A Parselmouth_! You can talk to snakes!" Ron exclaimed while Harmony was calming down a bit, still only about fifteen centimetres from Harry's face and gripping his shoulders tightly. She was holding him down with her full body weight, and with her belly and flank muscles tensed instinctively anticipating a defensive jab which could be redirected and immediately be countered… _Even if he's not a soldier he's got to have learnt something from either movie or street fighting._ She thought, but the attack never came.

"I know, I mean, that's only the second time I've ever done it. I accidentally set a boa constrictor on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once, long story, but it was telling me it had never seen Brazil and I sort of set it free without meaning to. That was before I knew I was a wizard…"

"A boa constrictor told you it had never seen Brazil?" Ron asked quietly in a half-choked voice.

Harry did his best to shrug given over a hundred and fifty pounds (she'd fully gained back any and all weight lost during the Cameroon exercise and put on more muscle, bone, etc.) of soldier-girl was holding him down "So? I bet loads of people here can do it."

"Oh, no they can't. It's not a very common gift. Harry, this is bad." Ron muttered

"What's bad? What's wrong with everyone? Listen, if I hadn't told that snake not to attack Justin—" He was cut off by Hermione.

"Oh, that's what you said to it?" She arched an eyebrow at the boy her twin was basically pressing into the armchair.

"What d'you mean? You were there, you heard me, Harmony understood—"

"It was an educated guess Harry given your STUPID NOBLE GIT TENDENCIES." Harry's hair actually did ruffle backward and he had to squint as his head was blasted further into the armchair by Harmony's unintentional psychic push stacking with his lean backward as she stuck her head forward.

Ron sighed "I heard you speaking Parseltongue, snake language. You could have been saying anything, no wonder Justin panicked, you sounded like you were egging the snake on or something, it was creepy, you know—"

Harry gaped at him "I spoke a different language? But — I didn't realize — how can I speak a language without knowing I can speak it?"

"Parseltongue is mind magic, that's why." Harmony couldn't afford to use too many technical terms with these unenlightened wizarding types… "You think it and whatever comes out of your mouth only assists in conveyance of the mental message being transmitted. Only snakes and other Parselmouths can understand the waveform patterns, some of us can get a rough feel for the intent, but… yeah."

Ron shook his head sadly as Harry started raging "D'you want to tell me what's wrong with stopping a massive snake biting off Justin's head? What does it matter _how _I did it as long as Justin doesn't have to join the Headless Hunt?"

Harmony sighed again "There's nothing wrong with it, but you could have let me kill it instead. Besides, Snape wouldn't let a student die with him there, it would ruin his career." She stated the pragmatic interpretation… and was ignored because her friends and sister were too foolish and noble to think that way.

"It matters, because being able to talk to snakes was what Salazar Slytherin was famous for. That's why the symbol of Slytherin House is a serpent." Hermione told him. Harry's mouth opened and shut several times.

"Exactly, and now the whole school's going to think you're his great-great-great-great-grandson or something." Ron threw his arms up in exasperation.

Harmony turned to stare at him "Ron, you're presenting a generational time of about 200 years, try grandson thirty times over, a generational time of twenty years is more reasonable."

"But I'm not!" Harry sounded a bit panicked.

"You'll find that hard to prove, he lived about twelve hundred years ago; for all we know, you could be." Harmony told him plainly. Harry seemed completely stunned until Harmony decided to stop breathing on his face. Then he blinked and looked around to find her smirking and shaking her head "Thought you might need a wake-up call, changing one variable of the confrontation was enough, I guess."

Harry blinked, he really needed to stop letting his friend fluster him like this… kind of hard to do given she was about a head taller and probably half again (i.e. total of 1.5x) his weight. Having someone like that appear or disappear from next to you was at best somewhat jolting…

* * *

Harry's pacing and talking about finding Justin to explain everything to him was rather annoying, but it was Hermione who snapped first. Harmony was, at least for the first twenty minutes of his pacing, too tired of her best friend's idiocy to remind him that some people aren't worth dealing with. The snow outside only further irritated her as the library population would increase more and she couldn't smuggle as many books out at a time anymore. Apparently a charm alerted the Librarian of overdue books only if a student took it outside the library for more than a month, but that wasn't something that mattered to Harmony.

"For heaven's sake, Harry! Go and _find _Justin if it's so important to you."

"I warn you now, Harry, he will not listen to reason if he is set against you, and if you confront him and he is subsequently attacked, even greater blame will be laid upon you, some people aren't worth it." Something made the older brunette blurt out from her spot doing her homework. She mentally frowned at her own control failure before cracking down. The fact that she was waved off by the naïve fool irked her more than she was usually irked… it made her almost want to cave the boy's head in and save the world some of its food supply that way.

On the other hand, if her suspicion that she was trapped in a fantasy novel was true, along with all this Voldemort business, she had a feeling that Harry was the protagonist.

…

…

…Unfortunately, that meant she was the alpha sidekick, at least for the duration of this struggle against Voldemort. In other words… _More babysitting duty, what joy…_ she decided to go upstairs, grabbed the cloak, and headed out without another word. Tracking Harry wasn't hard, she could pick up his mental signature from rather further away than anyone else who wasn't family. He was approaching a bunch of Hufflepuffs who were hanging out near the far end of the Library, while Harmony was standing a reasonable distance away in an empty aisle reading a textbook to prevent boredom while eavesdropping. She had entered her own hearing range, several aisles further away than Harry was, in time to catch "So anyway, I told Justin to hide up in our dormitory. I mean to say, if Potter's marked him down as his next victim, it's best if he keeps a low profile for a while. Of course, Justin's been waiting for something like this to happen ever since he let slip to Potter he was Muggle-born. Justin actually _told _him he'd been down for Eton. That's not the kind of thing you bandy about with Slytherin's heir on the loose, is it?" she couldn't place the voice, since she had only photographically memorized the _faces_ of everyone in her year and a few of the first-years.

"You definitely think it _is _Potter, then, Ernie?" _Ah, so it's that Macmillan Idiot, at least this girl sounds a little sceptical… I'll give her the benefit of the doubt._

"Hannah" _So it's Abbott, blonde girl, usually wears pigtails, no detectable physical or other types of specialized training. Not professional, not much of a threat at present._ "He's a Parselmouth. Everyone knows that's the mark of a Dark wizard. Have you ever heard of a decent one who could talk to snakes? They called Slytherin himself Serpent-tongue." _Yeah, well Slytherin was a decent, highly misunderstood bloke who put the monster in the Chamber to protect the school!_ Harmony's mind barked. There was some murmuring from where the Hufflepuffs were and Harry shifted uncomfortably where he stood a few aisles over, from what Harmony could see in the gap between shelves. Ernie continued digging his own grave "Remember what was written on the wall? _Enemies of the Heir, Beware._ Potter had some sort of run-in with Filch. Next thing we know, Filch's cat's attacked. That first year, Creevey, was annoying Potter at the Quidditch match, taking pictures of him while he was lying in the mud. Next thing we know — Creevey's been attacked."

"He always seems so nice, though…" Abbott said uncertainly. "and, well, he's the one who made You-Know-Who disappear. He can't be all bad, can he?"

Ernie lowered his voice, and Harry shuffled closer to the aisle between the shelves so he could get better reception. Harmony simply glided a couple shelves over to hear Ernie speak in a conspiratorial tone "No one knows how he survived that attack by You-Know-Who. I mean to say, he was only a baby when it happened. He should have been blasted into smithereens. Only a really powerful Dark wizard could have survived a curse like that. _That's _probably why You-Know-Who wanted to kill him in the first place. Didn't want another Dark Lord _competing _with him. I wonder what other powers Potter's been hiding?"

Harmony was mentally questioning whether or not he would be stupid enough to someday get in the way of her personal Red Revolution when Harry cleared his throat loudly and stepped into the open. The Hufflepuffs all looked terrified of him, which was quite amusing, especially when the moron stuck his foot in his mouth i.e. "Hello, I'm looking for Justin Finch-Fletchley." He said, Harmony almost wanted to facepalm, but of course, stealth would've forbade it even if her own self-control had not.

"What do you want with him?" Ernie sounded terrified.

"I wanted to tell him what really happened with that snake at the Dueling Club." Harry sounded vaguely desperate.

There was the sound of Ernie taking a deep breath in before "We were all there. We saw what happened."

"Then you noticed that after I spoke to it, the snake backed off?"

"All I saw, was you speaking Parseltongue and chasing the snake toward Justin." Harmony decided maybe it was better to remind these Hufflepuffs exactly what she had been screaming at the in the Great Hall, preferably in a quieter voice since some people (i.e. Ron) claimed they had been too busy not losing their senses of hearing to listen. It had been almost as bad as Mrs. Weasley's Howler at the beginning of the year, according to Fred and George.

"I didn't chase it at him! It didn't even _touch _him!" Harry's voice shook with anger as Harmony folded up the Cloak and tucked it away in her bag.

She strolled out from behind the shelves toward the group just as Ernie clarified his stupidity "It was a very near miss, and in case you're getting ideas, I might tell you that you can trace my family back through nine generations of witches and warlocks and my blood's as pure as anyone's, so—"

"—So you are still a fucking moron, if you think Harry's the Heir of Slytherin. If you'd said that to the Heir's face, do you think he or she would give a flying fuck what sort of blood you have?" Harmony snapped at the fool. "Harry isn't the Heir of Slytherin, and you all know it, you tell them, Harry."

"Oh hey Harmony, I didn't know you decided to come to the Library… sorry you had to hear that." He turned back to Ernie "I don't care what sort of blood you've got! Why would I want to attack Muggle-borns?" Harry waved his arms around in anger while Harmony, standing behind him, pointed at herself.

"I've heard you hate those Muggles you live with." Ernie said quickly.

"It's not possible to live with the Dursleys and not hate them, I'd like to see you try it." Harry snapped, her turned and ran out of the Library.

"Ernie, there are some horrible things about Harry's childhood that I can't tell you, but let me tell you one thing, the Dursleys are so bad that they require the tender mercies of… a _janitor_." She drew a finger across her throat and grinned, baring all her teeth, before turning and marching away, ears peeled for any movement behind her. No threats manifested (they were too terrified of her might) as she stalked out of the Library, so she broke into a sprint following Harry's receding footsteps, whipping the cloak out of her bag and throwing it over herself with practiced ease—she had used it far more than Harry had with all her Library microfilming trips after all.

There was a sudden "OOF!" ahead as large footsteps made their way softly toward where Harmony was and apparently ran into Harry. _Hagrid, he's the only one who's that large and capable of walking that quietly, dealing with the animals in the forest demanded it after all… though he can be really loud when he needs to get somewhere quickly._

"Oh, hello, Hagrid." Harry said, confirming Harmony's speculation.

"All righ', Harry?" Hagrid sounded muffled by some sort of scarf until he spoke again, clearly now "Why aren't yeh in class?"

"Cancelled, what're you doing in here?" Harry asked, sounds of a kid clamouring to his feet reaching Harmony's ears.

"Second one killed this term, it's either foxes or a Blood-Suckin' Bugbear, an' I need the headmaster's permission ter put a charm around the hen coop." Hagrid said, Harmony rounded the corner under the cloak to spot the groundskeeper holding a very dead rooster. Hagrid frowned at Harry suddenly "Yeh sure yeh're all righ'? Yeh look all hot an' bothered…"

She rolled her eyes at the connotation those words had to her twisted mind. _Hmm, calling my own mind twisted, well another milestone on the path to either insanity or war machine status… among other things._ In the meantime Harry replied "It's nothing, I'd better get going, Hagrid, it's Transfiguration next and I've got to pick up my books."

He walked away and Harmony peered after Hagrid for a bit before following… to a particularly dark corridor. Her pupils dilated in under half a second as she adjusted to the new lighting conditions, and saw what was ahead. _Holy fuck it's Justin and Nearly Headless Nick!_ She got to him as he tripped over Justin's petrified body—she could sense he was still alive, but in some sort of psychic stasis… so she concluded he was petrified. He was standing there gawking for a couple seconds before she hissed "Harry, let's get out of here before anyone sees."

"But we should help… Harmony you're under the Cloak aren't you?"

"You idiot! No one will believe you were trying to help!" She whispered angrily, yanking him a little bit before he tried to grab for the Cloak and she had to dodge out of the way. "Fine, I warned you, Harry." She marched loudly off, making sure Harry could hear her footsteps receding, then she heard a door slam open somewhere near Harry was and peered back around the corner she'd just rounded. _Oh crap…_

"Why, it's potty wee Potter! What's Potter up to? Why's Potter lurking—" Peeves, halfway through a midair somersault, stopped to gape at the blackened, smoky form of Nearly Headless Nick and the Petrified body of Justin. "ATTACK! ATTACK! ANOTHER ATTACK! NO MORTAL OR GHOST IS SAFE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! ATTAAAACK!"

The doors along the hall flew open one after another as Harmony almost activated the recording devices on Harry's clothes, then thought better of t because she could just coax the information out of his unguarded mind. She listened as Harry was taken off to see Dumbledore by McGonagall, then left the Noble Git to take the consequences of idiocy. Obviously Dumbledore wouldn't think he'd done it—the man wasn't stupid after all—and it was better as a friend to make Harry LEARN lessons i.e. get terrified instead of protecting him from the consequences.

… Yeah, Harmony knew that she'd make a very un-coddling parent and therefore had no plans of ever being a parent.

* * *

As expected, the panic level in the castle rose. The sad thing was that the terrorist behind this would actually be encouraged by this sort of reaction. Obviously the average Wizard wasn't as well-versed she was in generic counter-terrorism which roughly meant "ignore them until they slip up badly like a kid throwing a tantrum at being ignored, then annihilate them completely as soon as you know enough about them". It was also as expected that people worried more about what had happened to Nick, given he was already dead and something that could do that to a ghost, well…

Harmony had a feeling that any adequately powerful, properly channelled psionic assault could probably do that to a ghost, but she wasn't about to tell anyone that… The biggest problem was that they might believe her without question, given she beat up a ghost at Nick's Deathday Party, which wasn't conductive to her desire to wrangle the Wizarding World around into some semblance of scientific sentience. Most people were clamouring over each other to get on the list of students going home for the holidays, while Harry, Ron, and the twins casually walked over to the deserted staying-at-Hogwarts list and signed themselves up. "At this rate, we'll be the only ones left." Ron commented, looking at the list in question, which was the four of them, Malfoy and co, and the Weasley children. "Us, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. What a jolly holiday it's going to be…"

Harry, far from rethinking his utter brainlessness (Harmony would really like to wrap her hands around his throat and crush it/tear it out by this point), was actually tired of being picked on and was busy being glad most people were leaving. Harmony hated the fact that he just was refusing to learn ANYTHING even with the punishment he deserved and got from the masses for being an idiot, remaining at the scene of the attack like that. Fred and George were taking it all as a joke, but apparently Percy and Ginny were not exactly approving of this behaviour. Ron and Hermione, on the other hand, had identical responses of facepalming and then pulling their hands slowly down their faces.

Draco Malfoy seemed more and more annoyed every time he saw the Weasley Twins joking around with asking Harry who he was going to attack next. According to Ron "It's because he's _bursting _to say it's really him. You know how he hates anyone beating him at anything, and you're getting all the credit for his dirty work."

"Not for long, the Polyjuice Potion's nearly ready. We'll be getting the truth out of him any day now." Hermione had reminded him.

_I've already filtered the fact that he's not the heir from his mind, although it does surprise me how he apparently overheard his parents talking about the Malfoy family being threatened unless something occurred soon. His family dynamic is rather odd, it's almost like his father actually WAS at least at one point an unwilling Death Eater, though he later became more dedicated to the cause just so that he could survive without getting doubted and therefore purged by Mouldy-shorts._ Harmony thought idly as she read her way through yet another book at inhuman speeds.

On Christmas morning, Harmony let Hermione head down to check on the potion while she herself was going over her various protective gear and weapons, again. Protective gear included her usual combat boots (not reinforced in the toes… much), her usual knee plates, the new-as-of-this-year "Dragon Scale" body armour, the helmet she repaired from last year, fitted with a visor now and a gas filter she could toggle on. SI manufactured easily repairable/patched/upgraded armour apparently… Mum could have told her earlier. The armaments included her submachine gun, pistol, three combat knives (only one of which she actually used with any amount of frequency), a pair of flash-bangs, an Entrenchment Tool aka compact shovel/pickaxe, a detonator and bar of C4—or whatever the hell Aunt Tanya called C4 to fool her enemies, what a joke, it was a lot more powerful than actual C4 was—and of course her Psi-amplifier aka Wand.

Now that she had a marginally larger repertoire of spells she actually considered her wand a weapon (beyond an object she could throw or stab someone's eye out with) and checked over the eight-inch (20 cm, varies slightly depending on environmental temperature) titanium stick with a Thestral tail hair core. Ollivander's typically preferred Unicorn Tail Hair, Phoenix Feather, or Dragon Heartstring cores and wooden bases, but sometimes he dabbled in… experimentation, such as the product she ended up with. It seemed to be in good condition—almost no smudges or stains, given she was usually equipped with gloves at the very least of the reinforced cotton mesh variety which while breathable would also stop most slashing bladed attacks—and wasn't even scratched, probably as it was an extremely hard alloy.

Hermione got back to the Common Room at the same time as Harmony came down from the boys' dorm, having towed them down and shoved the presents she'd randomly grabbed for them from a candy store on her last week of holidays. In her opinion giving gifts specifically on Christmas was pointless as if you really cared for someone you'd be happy to give them gifts any day of the year. She had been absolutely furious at the Dursleys' "gift" to Harry, a toothpick and a note telling him to find out if he could stay at school over the summer too. She'd told Harry he was welcome to stay at her house as long as he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Harry apparently enjoyed Chirstmas Dinner and the decorations. To Harmony, they presented more obstacles to tactical observation of the room, more cover for people firing spells at each other, and general nuisances to clean up afterward. The second of her opinions was as there were very few spells that didn't detonate upon impacting a surface. The few spells she was focused on tended to erode while travelling through a medium, and preliminary tests in the SI weapons labs over the summer said that the denser the medium was the faster erosion generally occurred, though heat capacity also had a significant effect on the erosion rate in joules per meter travelled (more appropriately it should be many MJ/m…). However, the fact that penetration factored linearly and the heat capacity dependence of the erosion rate meant that directed psychic energy had pretty good potential as anti-armour weapons.

This concept would be proven by Tankbusters in the near future and Disintegrators in the much further future.

Harry and Ron had three servings of pudding before Hermione lost her patience and dragged them outside. Harmony followed leisurely and listened as her sister began talking "We still need a bit of the people you're changing into, and obviously, it'll be best if you can get something of Crabbe's and Goyle's; they're Malfoy's best friends, he'll tell them anything. And we also need to make sure the real Crabbe and Goyle can't burst in on us while we're interrogating him." Harmony had multiple back-up plans ready, but she would let her sister handle this and only step in if needed. At the moment Harry and Ron looked rather stunned, about as stupid as Crabbe and Goyle in fact, as Hermione held up two chocolate muffins "I've got it all worked out, I've filled these with a simple Sleeping Draught. All you have to do is make sure Crabbe and Goyle find them. You know how greedy they are, they're bound to eat them. Once they're asleep, pull out a few of their hairs and hide them in a broom closet."

"Hermione, I don't think—" Harry began at the same time as Ron said "That could go seriously wrong—" Harmony's thoughts on this were _The only thing that could go wrong with this particular step is that Harry and Ron may grossly overestimate Crabbe and Goyle's intelligence with regards to finding items._

"The potion will be useless without Crabbe's and Goyle's hair, You do _want _to investigate Malfoy, don't you?" Hermione glared menacingly at them.

"Oh, all right, all right, but what about you? Whose hair are you ripping out?" Harry asked.

Hermione smiled "I've already got mine! Remember Millicent Bulstrode wrestling with me at the Dueling Club? She left this on my robes when she was trying and failing to beat me up! And she's gone home for Christmas—so I'll just have to tell the Slytherins I've decided to come back."

"How stupid do you think the Slytherins are? Besides, that hair looks a bit short to be from Bulstrode…" Harmony squinted at the thing, making it all dramatic just for kicks.

Hermione sighed "Bulstrode has some short hair like everyone else, Harmony, and if you picked a hair from your sideburns it would be pretty short too."

"You have sideburns?" Harry asked.

Harmony sighed "I have some hair growing anterior on my head to the top half of my ear, right here." She pointed out the short hairs that were there. "I keep them trimmed because I want to keep them out of the way of my hearing. They are hardly sideburns." While they were distracted, Hermione had bustled off to check on the potion again.

"Have you ever heard of a plan where so many things could go wrong?" Ron's mouth corners were pulled so far down when he asked that that Harmony could see the tendons in his neck rather clearly.

* * *

Apparently, Harry and Ron did not grossly overestimate Crabbe and Goyle's intellect, well, maybe Goyle's, but… Anyhow, the boys shoved the cakes in their mouths… and fell backwards on the carpeted floor without any change in expression. Harmony wondered if the oafs' skulls would have been thick enough to withstand the impact and their brains small enough to escape damage if they'd fallen on the marble floor instead.

The hardest part for the boys was pulling the human-shaped bricks (such was their IQ) into the closet across the hall. That was until Harmony lost her patience and grabbed Crabbe, throwing him over her shoulder and walked over to the closet, dumping him casually inside while the boys were loosely holding onto Goyle's arms, too slack-jawed to actually try to move him more. "Do I have to do everything around here?" She grumbled as she grabbed the second boy and dumped him in too. "What are you waiting for? Get moving!"

Harry and Ron hastily yanked out some of the boys' hairs while Harmony stole their shoes as Harry and Ron's shoes wouldn't fit on the big feet of the stupid ogres. _Hmm, do ogres exist or are they just a fancy re-telling of trolls? And where did trolls evolve from anyways?_ Harmony wondered. The answers would take a long time to discover, but it would come to "fancy retelling" and "initially engineered, later somewhat evolved".

The three of them hurried off to Myrtle's bathroom and Harmony was strongly reminded of the results of a smoke grenade by the thick black smoke coming from the stall Hermione was in. Harry and Ron coughed a little and their eyes watered. Harmony and Hermione had failed to inherit the nictitating membrane trait that their mother had, but they were still significantly more resistant to airborne pollution than average humans with all the enzymes in their tears and the mucus of their airways. Their long eyelashes helped keep larger particles out.

The first-operation feeling of astonishment was rolling off the boys in waves, but Harmony still had to knock on the stall door to alert Hermione to their presence as they'd (read: Harmony) closed the door very quietly.

"Did you get them?" Hermione asked breathlessly, Harmony mentally rolled her eyes _Oh my sister, you'll lose that operational enthusiasm soon enough, it'll all be a chore eventually… but it's good to see some un-jaded enthusiasm._

The boys showed the hairs "Good. And I sneaked these spare robes out of the laundry." Hermione held up a small sack. "You'll need bigger sizes once you're Crabbe and Goyle." The three stared into the cauldron, which resembled a pot of dark grey mud, bubbling slowly. "I'm sure I've done everything right. It looks like the book says it should… once we've drunk it, we'll have exactly an hour before we change back into ourselves."

"Now what?" Ron prompted, shooting an expectant look at the tumblers Hermione had laid out.

"We separate it into three glasses and add the hairs." Hermione seemed to not have realized that Ron was not retarded. She ladled dollops of the potion into each of the glasses, then took Millicent Bulstrode's hair out of its bottle into the first glass. The potion hissed loudly like an angry cat and frothed a little (Harmony was not impressed as she'd done Coke and Menthos before, which was far more awe-inspiring with respect to frothing), then it turned a sickly yellow.

"Urgh—essence of Millicent Bulstrode… bet it tastes disgusting." Ron grimaced.

"Add yours, then." Hermione replied.

Goyle's potion was a brownish-green colour like a booger, and Crabbe's was a dark, murky brown. Harmony idly wondered what her potion would look like, probably some shade of dark grey, she thought.

"Hang on. We'd better not all drink them in here. Once we turn into Crabbe and Goyle we won't fit." Harry said as the other two reached for their potions. Bulstrode was about Harmony's size, then again, she already had to stand outside the stall whenever Hermione was inside.

Ron nodded "Good thinking. We'll take separate stalls."

"Take off your clothes and shoes BEFORE you take the potion, unless you want to break your feet and tear your clothes to shreds, boys."

"That makes sense." Harry nodded to her before entering his stall. "Ready?" He called after some rustling of clothes.

"Ready!"

"One… Two… Three…"

There was the sound of gulping from all three stalls while Harmony hung around, then noticed something, or several somethings. She focused her senses and felt the expansion of a set body surface force field to repel air and other materials in the way before creating the surfaces of a solid illusion in place while the actual body of the subject was being phased out. Well, all she really felt was a phasing, a force field expansion, an immense compulsion to see it as happening a certain way, and a solid illusion, but this was her initial hypothesis as to how the Polyjuice Potion worked. It was therefore not too hard to figure out where Blizzard may have gotten the inspiration for the High Templar Hallucination ability with regards to the solid-enough-to-shoot illusions.

On the other hand, where did the power to sustain that solid hologram come from? Her best hypotheses were that either it drained on the user's psychic energy or that it came from stored energy in the potion's ingredients, which seemed more likely as it specified a standard dose, and that lasted one hour. The effect ended with the user being phased back into reality in their own form. However, to make the puny minds of wizards understand it, the potion LOOKED like the skin was bubbling and changing as it shifted form. In reality that was just the field size change coupled with the change of the hologram's appearance to what the drinker knew of the target applied to an extrapolated developmental result from the target's DNA, using the user's brain and mind as the supercomputer needed to calculate it. The transformation's visual effects were just the mind's attempts to understand it. In magical photos it would show what you'd see in person, in muggle photos it would show a void of greyish volume, and in video it would be expanding until it abruptly changed to the form of the target as per embedded in the user's mind. In other words, someone trying to impersonate a person would miss a tattoo or scar that they had never seen, and it was highly unlikely you'd manage to impersonate a person you never saw before, given how much environment affected development.

Harmony would come to take the summer after second year to figure that all out in the Black Labs as the SI Psi Labs had come to be called.

After the transformation was complete, Goyle's voice asked "Are you two okay?"

"Yeah." Crabbe's voice answered.

Harmony watched the boys stare at each other and take time to get used to the stolen forms, while wondering what her sister was doing. Something had felt radically different for her, somehow, but she was still alive and well… maybe she didn't see enough of Bulstrode? In the meantime, Ron was prodding his new nose while approaching the mirror "This is unbelievable… _Unbelievable…_"

"We'd better get going. We've still got to find out where the Slytherin common room is. I only hope we can find someone to follow…"

"I know where it is." Harmony stated.

Ron had been staring at Harry "You don't know how bizarre it is to see Goyle _thinking_. C'mon, we need to go—" He banged on Hermione's door.

"I—I don't think I'm going to come after all. You go on without me." She sounded higher-pitched than usual.

"Hermione, we know Millicent Bulstrode's ugly, no one's going to know it's you—" Ron called. Harmony rolled her eyes at the insensitivity.

"No—really—I don't think I'll come. You two hurry up, you're wasting time—" She replied.

"Well, we know something's gone wrong, but not so badly that she needs help right away." Harmony said "You _are_ wasting time, let's move, but we can't run into anyone, they'd confront me for hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle."

* * *

"Don't swing your arms like that." Harmony told Ron. "Crabbe holds them rather stiffly."

"How's this?"

"Better."

They went into the Entrance Hall "Someone's coming." Harmony stated before she threw the Invisibility Cloak she always kept in her bag over herself.

Ron nodded before gesturing at the entrance to the dungeons "That's where Slytherins come up to meals from." A girl with long, curly hair emerged from the entrance in question. "Excuse me, we've forgotten the way to our common room." He said to her.

Harmony rolled her eyes under the cloak, the Prefect badge the girl had indicated she was a Ravenclaw, but Ron wasn't at the age of looking at girls' chests more than necessary yet…

"I beg your pardon? _Our _common room? _I'm _a Ravenclaw." The girl frowned at them suspiciously before walking away.

"Let's move." Harmony lifted the cloak enough that the light-bending fields didn't cover her back anymore before she ghosted down the stone steps into the dungeons. Harry and Ron's footsteps on the other hand were rather loud at best. Harmony led them straight toward where she knew the Slytherin Common Room was, but dropped the cloak completely over herself upon seeing a sudden movement ahead.

"Ha! There's one of them now!" It seemed Ron had begun to doubt Harmony after spending ten more of their sixty minutes going from the bathroom to the Slytherin Common Room. The figure emerging from a side room, however, was not a Slytherin, it was Percy.

"What're you doing down here?" Ron asked in surprise.

Percy stiffened. "That is none of your business. It's Crabbe, isn't it?"

"Wha—oh, yeah." Ron said.

"Well, get off to your dormitories. It's not safe to go wandering around dark corridors these days."

"_You _are." Ron stated the obvious, or what should have been obvious to Percy.

"I am a prefect. Nothing's about to attack _me._" Harmony wondered if she should teach him a lesson by clubbing him over the back of the head with the butt end of her SMG.

A voice suddenly came from behind Harry and Ron. Draco Malfoy was strolling toward them. "There you are," He began in a snooty, drawling voice "Have you two been pigging out in the Great Hall all this time? I've been looking for you; I want to show you something really funny." He glared at Percy and sneered "And what're you doing down here, Weasley?"

"You want to show a bit more respect to a school prefect! I don't like your attitude!" Percy barked.

Malfoy sneered and motioned for Harry and Ron to follow him. Harmony had to grab Harry and force him forward—he only stumbled a little—to prevent the fool from trying to apologize to Percy. _Polite Noble Dumb Fuck…_ Her thought was interrupted by Malfoy "That Peter Weasley…"

"Percy." Ron corrected without thinking.

"Whatever" Malfoy's opinion of his cronies appeared to be so bad he didn't pay enough attention to them… this was an exploitable weakness. "I've noticed him sneaking around a lot lately. And I bet I know what he's up to. He thinks he's going to catch Slytherin's heir single-handed." He let out a derisive laugh before he stopped by a bit of rather bare, damp stone wall. "What's the new password again?"

"Uh…" Harry said.

"Oh, yeah — _pure-blood_!" _I could have guessed that._ Harmony mentally snorted. The three followed the blonde boy in.

A stone door that had been disguised by the wall slid open. Malfoy marched through it and the two disguised boys followed him. The room was a long, low underground room with rough-hewn stone walls and ceiling. Round, greenish lamps hung from said ceiling on chains, and a few windows high up on the walls showed that it was on the side of Hogwarts facing the lake, as they let in fresh air despite the fact that the common room was under the ground floor of the castle. It seemed that this place was in the cliff overlooking the lake… The fireplace in the room had a rather elaborately carved mantelpiece, and several Slytherins, seated in high-backed chairs, were clustered near it. Harmony noted the chairs' similarity to the office boss chair stereotype and wondered about why wizards hadn't put wheels under their chairs yet.

"Wait here," Malfoy ordered Harry and Ron "I'll go and get it… my father's just sent it to me." Harry and Ron sat in the chairs Draco had gestured toward. A minute later he shoved a newspaper clipping under Harry and Ron's noses. "That'll give you a laugh."

Harmony read the paper from her position behind the boys, as Malfoy was in front of them, smirking expectantly. It read:

INQUIRY AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC

Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, was today fined fifty Galleons for bewitching a Muggle car. Mr. Lucius Malfoy, a governor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where the enchanted car crashed earlier this year, called today for Mr. Weasley's resignation.  
"Weasley has brought the Ministry into disrepute," Mr. Malfoy told our reporter. "He is clearly unfit to draw up our laws and his ridiculous Muggle Protection Act should be scrapped immediately."

Mr. Weasley was unavailable for comment, although his wife told reporters to clear off or she'd set the family ghoul on them.

Malfoy was impatient and apparently overestimated the intellect of his cronies as he asked "Well? Don't you think it's funny?"

"Ha, ha." Harry said grimly. Harmony on the other hand was mentally laughing hysterically. _The way the world is, you buffoon, Muggles aren't the ones who need protecting anymore… we can just nuke the world to a state of Scorched Earth and you wouldn't be able to do a thing._ she thought viciously.

"Arthur Weasley loves Muggles so much he should snap his wand in half and go and join them. You'd never know the Weasleys were purebloods, the way they behave." Malfoy said scornfully. Ron's face—well, Crabbe's but whatever—was twitching in rage by this point. "What's up with you, Crabbe?"

"Stomach-ache…" Ron mumbled.

"Well, go up to the hospital wing and give all those Mudbloods a kick from me. You know, I'm surprised the _Daily Prophet _hasn't reported all these attacks yet." He looked so cheerful at the thought of the attacks that Harmony wanted to give him multiple 10mm hemorrhages. "I suppose Dumbledore's trying to hush it all up. He'll be sacked if it doesn't stop soon. Father's always said old Dumbledore's the worst thing that's ever happened to this place. He loves Muggle-borns. A decent headmaster would never've let slime like that Creevey in."

Harmony mentally wondered why her mind sounded like Yoda at the moment with _A decent Headmaster, Dumbledore is, a decent Janitor, he is not._

Malfoy did a fake camera impression and imitated Colin with surprising accuracy "'Potter, can I have your picture, Potter? Can I have your autograph? Can I lick your shoes, please, Potter?'" He frowned at Harry and Ron "What's the _matter _with you two?" The two finally laughed, and Malfoy seemed satisfied, which was weird as hell given how SLOW the response had been. "Saint Potter, the Mudbloods' friend. He's another one with no proper wizard feeling, or he wouldn't go around with those jumped-up Granger and violent Shepard Mudbloods. Heh, twins who don't even share the same family name, their mother must have been a whore who barely managed to get her husband to accept one of them as his and then had to give the other one away to the real father. No proper family values there whatsoever, probably, and Potter's friends with them… amazing thing is, people think _he's _Slytherin's heir!" He sighed "I _wish _I knew who it _is_. I could help them." Harmony had not expected Crabbe to be able to look any stupider than his usual appearance, but of course Ron proved that wrong by gaping at Malfoy.

"You must have some idea who's behind it all…" Harry said in Goyle's voice.

Malfoy shrugged "You know I haven't, Goyle, how many times do I have to tell you? And Father won't tell me _anything _about the last time the Chamber was opened either. Of course, it was fifty years ago, so it was before his time, but he knows all about it, and he says that it was all kept quiet and it'll look suspicious if I know too much about it. But I know one thing, last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood _died. _So I bet it's a matter of time before one of them gets killed this time… I hope it's Shepard, or even better, Granger."

Ron's Crabbe-looking fists were clenched so tight when he mentioned Hermione's name that Harmony had to mentally soothe him a bit. _The boy's worse than when I'm getting protective over Harry… how amusing._ She thought, then listened as Harry asked "D'you know if the person who opened the Chamber last time was caught?"

"Oh, yeah… whoever it was was expelled. They're probably still in Azkaban." Malfoy said.

"Azkaban?" Harry questioned. Harmony's mind sighed as she ghosted out of the way of a Slytherin walking by, did the boy never read up on the world he was entering? Was he just THAT intent on being mundane and average and basically an under-equipped-for-this-harsh-existence idiot?

"Azkaban — _the wizard prison, _Goyle." Malfoy shook his head in disbelief "Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward." He shifted in his chair a bit "Father says to keep my head down and let the Heir of Slytherin get on with it. He says the school needs ridding of all the Mudblood filth, but not to get mixed up in it. Of course, he's got a lot on his plate at the moment. You know the Ministry of Magic raided our manor last week?" Harry tried to look concerned "Yeah… Luckily, they didn't find much. Father's got some _very _valuable Dark Arts stuff. But luckily, we've got our own secret chamber under the drawing-room floor…"

"Ho!" Ron crowed, before Harmony noticed something, grabbing the boys by the head and forcing them to look at each other. They jumped to their feet "Medicine for my stomach." Ron grunted before they sprinted out of the Slytherin Common Room and ran like hell, Harmony watched the illusions fade and the phasing revert as they ran. Chucking Crabbe and Goyle's shoes outside the closet door they were trapped behind, the boys donned their own shoes—Harmony had brought them—and ran to Myrtle's bathroom.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, I made the Malfoys more decent people, helps make Ron look dumb when his father and Lucius are loudly singing together on a table after getting drunk at their grandchildren's engagement party. Note: Arthur did punch Lucius in the face and break his nose earlier at one point.

Just played through XCOM: Enemy Unknown… most retarded, overdramatic ending I've ever seen, especially given the Temple Ship overload ceased the moment the Volunteer gained control of it. Capturing such a ship would have forced human science forward a long way, but perhaps this way is better, in that we get to develop our OWN technology more, and who knows what we could come up with, and it's less likely that the Council (G-16 anyone?) could hold it as a doomsday weapon over the rest of mankind. Still, if you already had the thing under control, blowing it up was strictly unnecessary and didn't make strategic sense for XCOM, with it they could have ruled the world! Not that that's a good thing, but hey…

REVIEW!


	7. The Highly Disturbing Diary

A/N: Harmony Shepard's usual grenade launcher can be seen on this page in concept form, yes, those are two 1-cm long rings around the front of the barrel (dotted lines) and the launcher is shown at half the scale of the grenade, please note it's a preliminary illustration, I may decide to add another mounting point over the rear of the weapon in a final drawing to accommodate the more compact SI weapons:

ht (remove space here) tp (colon) (double forward slash) guardian (remove space here) 54. (remove this bubble) deviant (remove space here) art. (remove this bubble here) com (forward slash) # (forward slash) d5nktp9

Wow the newer FFN link-screening protocols are annoying...

* * *

Chapter 7: The Highly Disturbing Diary

"Well, it wasn't a complete waste of time." Ron panted after the entered the bathroom. Harmony frowned, Hermione, after a summer full of exercises (she'd insisted her parents plan a regimen for her even though she didn't want any hardcore training or a License to Kill) and maintaining a mild regimen even now, wouldn't be out of breath from that like she'd been back in first year running from Filch and Fluffy, but it seemed wizards generally didn't get much physical exercise… and Ron was no exception "I know we still haven't found out who's doing the attacks, but I'm going to write to Dad tomorrow and tell him to check under the Malfoys' drawing room."

Harry checked his face in the mirror as Harmony hammered on the door of Hermione's stall, feeling her twin still alive and relatively fine inside "Hermione, come out, we've got loads to tell you—"

"Go away!" She squeaked pitifully.

Ron frowned and stood next to Harmony "What's the matter? You must be back to normal by now, we are…"

Myrtle suddenly came through the stall door. "Ooooooh, wait till you see. It's _awful_…" She sounded rather disturbingly gleeful and looked it too.

The lock slid back and Hermione emerged, still sobbing with her robes pulled up over her head. "What's up? Have you still got Millicent's nose or something?"

Hermione let the robes fall, Ron backed into the sink, Harry's jaw dropped, and Harmony laughed so hard she had to lean on the wall. Her twin sister had acquired a pair of cute, fluffy cat ears on her head, her nose had shrunk a bit and had three whiskers per side, two pointy canines showed when she opened her mouth, and a long, soft, black-furred tail poked out from under her robes. Her chocolate brown eyes had turned a honey yellow colour and had slits for pupils, just like a cat. Her fingernails had also gotten longer and sharper, but weren't quite at the point of being claws…

"It was a c-cat hair!" She snivelled "M-Millicent Bulstrode m-must have a cat! And the p-potion isn't supposed to be used for animal transformations!"

"You're lucky you didn't DIE from that." It was lucky indeed that the genetic toolkit their Mum—and, however distantly, Ancestor Kane—had given them allowed for quite a bit of cellular reprogramming, since there was no phasing involved if the DNA wasn't human AND you didn't know the target animal's appearance. No, it just forced your body to generate some traits. This was an example of psychic control of gene expression, but with everything else psionics could do, Harmony wasn't surprised in the least. It was also lethal to most humans, psychic or not, but Harmony was again not surprised that her sister had no problem enduring it.

"Uh-oh." Ron stated the obvious. If he'd been a few years older he'd probably have been staring and trying to touch Hermione's ears or tail by this point, Harmony suspected.

"You'll be teased something _dreadful_!" Myrtle sang happily.

"It's okay, Hermione. We'll take you up to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey never asks too many questions…"Harry suggested. Harmony suspected Pomfrey didn't want to know half the things that students came in for, she didn't want to have heart attacks every other week.

"Yeah, she'll probably think it's just a cosplay gone wrong, although Hermione, you're a bit young to be doing that the way a cat outfit would suggest."

Hermione facepalmed, her ears twitching and tail curling to one side "That's not funny, Harmony."

From the looks on their faces, neither of the boys had the slightest clue what the mentally far more mature girls were speaking of. At the moment, this was probably a good thing, as they would have been stuttering and gesticulating like a pair of morons if they had, given their current level of maturity or lack thereof.

* * *

After Hermione took up residence in the Hospital Wing due to one or two too many people (read: non-Slytherin girls that stayed) squealing over her ears (a bandanna failed to keep it under wraps) or, in the case of the Slytherins, trying to painfully yank her tail, the rest of the school returned from the holidays. The first rumour was that she had been attacked, and Pomfrey had to put a privacy curtain around Hermione's bed in the Hospital Wing to keep gawkers from seeing her recently acquired cat-like features.

Harry, Harmony and Ron visited Hermione every evening, although Ron had a tendency to stay longer than strictly necessary, something that Harmony found exceedingly amusing. The boy was usually quite rowdy, so it was weird to see him sitting with her twin in silence doing their homework, mostly as Hermione didn't like being distracted by talk while working. She decided to ask the question she'd wanted to ask for a while now "How do you think Dumbledore's going to cover up the whole Chamber mess? Justin and Colin have been here for a long time, they'll need to stay the summer if they want to manage it into next year reasonably…" She had an idea, but she needed to see if Hermione thought the same way.

Surprisingly it was Ron who answered "They're both Muggleborn, right? Dumbledore can just say that they decided to have a small programme for Muggleborns that are struggling to adapt to wizarding society. Justin and Colin will both keep things secret since they don't want their parents to pull them out of school."

"Wow, I didn't know you were that wise, Ron." Hermione commented while her hands were racing over the parchment, writing away at superhuman speed as was her norm. Ron looked like he wasn't sure whether to be affronted at the connotation or pleased that he'd impressed her. Hermione, not paying attention to him anymore as she neatly wrote a paragraph in about ten seconds, didn't notice.

"You know, if I'd sprouted whiskers, I'd take a break from work, at least, from writing three feet for a two-foot essay." Ron looked pointedly at the sheet of parchment Hermione was currently concluding on. "It can't be normal to write that fast or organize your thoughts that fast…"

"Don't be silly, Ron, I've got to keep up." Hermione shot back. "Right… there we go." She'd just read her entire essay over in about ten seconds, and her hand slowed down to a more human pace "I don't suppose you've got any new leads?"

"Nothing." Harry said gloomily.

"I was so _sure _it was Malfoy… but looking back I supposed I shouldn't be surprised, he was too obvious to be the culprit, no one doing that would make it so obvious, but maybe that could have been what he was depending on to stay out of trouble?" Ron's face scrunched up in a frown and pout put together as he thought hard about the matter "Ugh, this is giving me a bit of a headache…"

Harry and Hermione stared. Harmony smirked internally, knowingly, it looked like Ron was trying harder than she thought to learn enough to hold his ground against Hermione, for however short a while. That wasn't a particularly bad outcome, he was reliable, a good friend, and overall a decent bloke, by far not the worst her twin could have chosen. Mind you, she wouldn't have trusted Hermione with any non-family that she knew but Harry and Ron so far, but Harry was out of the question due to his nasty case of Noble Git Syndrome. On the other hand, she knew that Hermione wouldn't take shit from anyone, if someone was abusive, she'd leave them, right? Harmony could never stand the stupid stories where the dumb bitch stays to try to change the fucker she was dealing with, reality didn't work like that and it wasn't possible to change someone's nature once they were set in it. _The only thing left for trash is to be taken out by a Janitor._ She thought, before realizing her mind had wandered off on a tangent again since nothing was happening, really.

Ron had made a face at the two that had asked them to stop staring, until… "What's that?" Harry pointed to something gold sticking out from under Hermione's pillow.

"Just a get well card." Hermione mumbled, trying to poke it into hiding, but Ron snatched it before she could do so and they ended up tearing it in half as Hermione grabbed the other end and pulled it back toward her.

Unfortunately, the structural failure had mostly occurred on Hermione's end as she was much more forceful with her tug, not even giving enough time for the tension to be transmitted through the material fully before it resulted in the failure of the material near her end. And so it was that Ron managed to get the actual words undamaged as he opened it and read it out loud. "To Miss Granger, wishing you a speedy recovery, from your concerned teacher, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of _Witch Weekly_'s Most-Charming-Smile Award."

"You sleep with this under your _pillow_?" Ron asked in disbelief, as if seeing Hermione for the first time.

"Even in his cards he feels the need to tout his so-called achievements, Hermione, that man has serious arrogance issues if you ask me… his list of bullshit is LONGER THAN THE ACTUAL MESSAGE HE WAS SENDING!" Harmony was beginning to get a bit loud by the end of that.

Perhaps that was why Pomfrey swept them out of the Hospital Wing so Hermione could have her evening dose of medicine. "Is Lockhart the smarmiest bloke you've ever met, or what?" Ron asked Harry as they began proceeding toward Gryffindor Tower.

And what else could they run into but the huge puddle Myrtle had created by flooding her bathroom yet again? Well, Filch had been there too but they'd been smart enough to keep out of his general line of sight until he'd stormed off to see Dumbledore about it. Harmony was glad her current set of combat boots were waterproof (as opposed to the breathable variety she usually favoured) as they ventured toward the bathroom currently occupied by a howling ghost.

"_Now _what's up with her?" Ron grumbled.

"Let's go and see." Harry led the way, he just couldn't leave his nose out of others' business, huh? Apparently even through his abused past (which Harmony had downloaded enough of to understand) he had not learnt to mind his own fucking business. Yes, it usually resulted in them saving stuff, as was traditional in a fantasy novel which she occasionally idly suspected they were all secretly part of, but it was still annoying.

Myrtle was crying even louder and harder than usual from inside her usual toilet, with most of the candles in the room extinguished due to the torrents of water that she'd splashed everywhere in one of her stupid little tantrums, it was even gloomier than usual.

"What's up, Myrtle?" Harry asked her, well, he asked her general direction, but that was beside the point.

"Who's that? Come to throw something else at me?" She said from her spot inside the toilet. Harmony wondered how this could be given Myrtle's mouth and throat weren't in air but in water or ceramic, then concluded it must be a psychic transmission or something.

"Why would I throw something at you?" Harry asked, stepping in the ankle-deep dirty water on the floor of the bathroom. Well, at least the room's mirror and sinks looked a little cleaner to Harmony after that inadvertent hosing-down…

"Don't ask me. Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it's funny to throw a book at me…" Myrtle emerged with a wave of water, which splattered into the small pond that was the bathroom's floor.

"But it can't hurt you if someone throws something at you, I mean, it'd just go right through you, wouldn't it?" Harmony cuffed Harry round the head lightly for this one, glaring at him for being an insensitive prat.

Myrtle puffed up in anger at that "Let's all throw books at Myrtle, because _she _can't feel it! Ten points if you can get it through her stomach! Fifty points if it goes through her head! Well, ha, ha, ha! What a lovely game, I _don't_ think!"

"Who threw it at you, anyway?" Harry asked, completely ignoring the lesson that sometimes words hurt more than actions, which Harmony was trying to teach him in a less brutal way than just sitting him down and having a talk about it.

"_I _don't know… I was just sitting in the U-bend, thinking about death, and it fell right through the top of my head." Myrtle glared at Harry and Ron. "It's over there, it got washed out…"

Harry and Ron looked toward where Myrtle was pointing, it was a small, thin black book, looked very old, and was propped up against the wall, a good thing too as the angle would not have allowed them to see it due to the refractive index of water otherwise. Harmony had a really bad feeling about it, like there was something evil about it, disturbing, hateful, insane… She had no idea why she felt this way, but she pushed the feeling aside. There was no evidence yet that it was dangerous, but she would keep the feeling in mind just in case.

Harry stepped forward to pick it up, but Ron threw his arm out to hold him back while Harmony grabbed the back of his cloak. "What?" The clueless Noble Git asked.

"Are you crazy?" Ron began, but Harmony finished for him.

"It could be dangerous!" She warned, leering intensely at him.

"Dangerous?" Harry had the innocence and stupidity to LAUGH "Come off it, how could it be dangerous?"

"You'd be surprised." Ron grimaced grimly "Some of the books the Ministry's confiscated—Dad's told me—there was one that burned your eyes out. And everyone who read _Sonnets of a Sorcerer _spoke in limericks for the rest of their lives. And some old witch in Bath had a book that you could _never stop reading_! You just had to wander around with your nose in it, trying to do everything one-handed. And—"

"What if you finished the book?" Harmony interrupted.

Ron shrugged "I suppose you'd start from the beginning again?"

"What if you destroyed the book with your other hand?" Harmony pressed.

"I guess the old woman never thought of that." Ron shrugged again.

"All right, I've got the point." Harry said. "Well, we won't find out unless we look at it." By the time he'd reached the book Harmony had torn one of the broken-down cubicle doors off its last hinge and positioned itself in front of her as a shield while conjuring a shield charm, knowing she didn't have time to put her helmet on right now and hoping it would be enough. Obviously the boy had never studied military tactics, for example, the butterfly mines deployed by the Soviets against operational areas of the Resistance forces during the previous world wars.

Both the boys looked at her like she was insane, and she took that time to put her helmet on and fasten it "It might explode." She explained, waving Ron to take shelter behind her—he was still shorter than she was by a couple inches—before bracing herself for an explosion again as best she could. She knew psychic shields usually didn't work on solid objects, only on psychic weapons, but that was what the stall door was for.

"Okay…" Harry slowly picked up and opened the diary "It's fifty years old, and it belonged to someone called T.M. Riddle." He called to them after a few moments.

"Hang on…" Ron moved out from behind Harmony and looked over Harry's shoulder "I know that name. T.M. Riddle got an award for special services to the school fifty years ago."

"How on earth d'you know that?" Harry sounded amazed. Harmony suspected he'd forgotten Ron had detention in the Trophy Room earlier that year.

"Because Filch made me polish his shield about fifty times in detention." _Yep, that sounds about right._ "That was the one I burped slugs all over. If you'd wiped slime off a name for an hour, you'd remember it, too." _Didn't realize or know about that part, but whatever._

Harry peeled the wet pages apart without shredding them, this was surprising to Harmony as paper that old should have started showing signs of acid decomposition, and when wet should tear really, really easily. She finally decided that maybe it wasn't an immediate danger and propped the door she'd been holding before her against a stall wall. Cancelling her basic Shield Charm bubble, she walked over to see nothing written on the pages "He never wrote in it?" She raised an eyebrow as she asked the boys.

"I wonder why someone wanted to flush it away?" Ron wondered.

Harry turned to the back cover of the book to find the name of a variety store on Vauxhall Road, London, wherever that was. Harmony figured she could search a map or database for this sort of intel when and if she needed, she only concerned herself with her local area's topography, not of random places in Britain or even SI territory. "He must've been Muggle-born to have bought a diary from Vauxhall Road."

"Not necessarily, Harry, you aren't Muggleborn but being raised by Muggles means you probably would have bought diaries from Muggle places." Harmony told him, feeling a twinge of… guilt?… at the fact that she knew, but he didn't know she knew, that his "relatives" would never buy him anything. She did know however that this summer she was going to visit Number Four, Privet Drive, in Little Whinging, Surrey to… _impress_… certain points upon the _things_.

"True…" Harry said slowly.

"Well, it's not much use to you…" Ron began, then dropped his voice "Fifty points if you can get it through Myrtle's nose."

"That's not a bad idea, we should get rid of it, I sense something really bad from it, like a great evil or something… it's dangerous, but I don't know how or why…" Harmony cautioned him, then realized her mistake.

_I really should have expected the curious idiot to do this._ She lamented mentally as the boy in question pocketed the diary. "Isn't your pocket gonna get wet, Harry?" _Ron has more common sense, and you know he's terrible if_ Ron _has more sense than him…_

* * *

"Oooh, it might have hidden powers!" Hermione, released from the Hospital Wing in late January, said enthusiastically, taking the diary and looking at it closely before wrinkling her nose "I don't like how it feels, it feels evil."

"If it has powers, it's hiding them very well, if it's evil, it's hiding that even better." Ron said "Maybe it's shy. I don't know why you don't chuck it, Harry."

"I wish I knew why someone _did _try to chuck it." Harry said glumly.

"Maybe it's because of the evil aura, it might have been affecting them and they didn't want to be affected anymore?" Harmony tried to get it through the boy's thick skull.

"Come on, Harmony, be serious. Anyhow, I wouldn't mind knowing how Riddle got an award for special services to Hogwarts either."

Ron shrugged "Could've been anything, maybe he got thirty O.W.L.s or saved a teacher from the giant squid. Maybe he murdered Myrtle; that would've done everyone a favour…"

"Ron, you do realize by joking that you are probably right on that one?" _At least it would be if my mad musings about being trapped in a fantasy novel are true… I think I'm finally beginning to go truly insane… I'm impressed it took this long, I must have been pretty resilient._

All of them looked thoughtful "Well, the Chamber of Secrets was opened fifty years ago, wasn't it? That's what Malfoy said. And _this diary _is fifty years old…" Harry stated slowly.

"So?"

Hermione smiled at him and shook her head a little "Oh wake up, Ron. We know the person who opened the Chamber last time was expelled _fifty years ago. _We know T. M. Riddle got an award for special services to the school _fifty years ago. _Well, what if Riddle got his special award for _catching the Heir of Slytherin_? His diary would probably tell us everything—where the Chamber is, and how to open it, and what sort of creature lives in it—the person who's behind the attacks this time wouldn't want that lying around, would they?"

"Well, that's a less farfetched explanation, but I still have a bad feeling about that diary…" Harmony said.

"That's a _brilliant _theory, Hermione, with just one tiny little flaw." Ron sighed "_There's nothing written in his diary!_" _Well, reading has increased his intellect to be able to at least be a tripping stone in front of Hermione the juggernaut._ Harmony commented mentally.

"It might be invisible ink!" Hermione pulled her wand out of her bag—Harmony wondered if she should buy a holster for her sister sometime-and, after tapping the diary three times, said "_Aparecium_!" Harmony was for no apparent reason strongly reminded of _Paramecium_ (common freshwater eukaryote, grouped as a Ciliate) by the pronunciation of the word. Nothing happened, so Hermione grabbed a bright red eraser from her bag "It's a Revealer, I got it in Diagon Alley." She rubbed hard on the page of January First, and nothing happened.

"I'm telling you, there's nothing to find in there. Riddle just got a diary for Christmas and couldn't be bothered filling it in."

Harry seemed confused over the next couple days as to why he didn't throw the diary away. Harmony was worried about the way he sometimes absentmindedly picked it up and turned the pages, from her perspective, it seemed to be slowly ensnaring him… According to what she managed to worm out of him without trying to invade his mind, he said he was sure he'd heard the name somewhere, as if he was a friend from when Harry was very small, but had half-forgotten. Harmony read the next part from his mind, the part on how he'd never had friends before Hogwarts, and how Dudley had made sure of that.

The four of them went to the trophy room to examine Riddle's award the next day, it didn't have any details as to why he'd gotten it. However, Riddle had also gotten a Medal for Magical Merit and had been Head Boy.

"He sounds like Percy. Prefect, Head Boy, probably top of every class—" Ron looked rather sick.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Hermione said quietly, and Ron frowned at the ground before apologizing, not looking up (he literally would have had to, to meet her eyes) at Hermione as he did so.

* * *

The funny thing, which reinforced Harmony's suspicion that the Diary had much to do with the heir of Slytherin and the Chamber of Secrets—which she derisively termed the Classified Room—was that there were no more attacks after Christmas. After the attack on Justin and Nearly Headless Nick, Sprout was pleased to announce that the Mandrakes were becoming moody and secretive, meaning they were quickly leaving childhood. "The moment their acne clears up, they'll be ready for re-potting again." She told Filch one day when Harmony, Hermione and Harry were in hearing range—Ron had gone to the bathroom. "And after that, it won't be long until we're cutting them up and stewing them. You'll have Mrs. Norris back in no time." Harmony wondered, if Mandrakes were sapient, whether or not this counted as murder. However, Muggle mandrakes were certainly not alive, and maybe they just seemed alive to psychic observers by bouncing ambient psychic energy in self-defence? That sounded about right… and the age of the personality portrayed was determined by the size/age of the reflective tissues?

Harry thought the Heir had lost his or her nerve, because it was getting riskier and riskier to open the Chamber. He also thought that the monster might even now be settling down to hibernate for another fifty years. Harmony thought he was thinking like an untrained civilian, which, technically, he was. To her, the conclusion was obvious, the diary was clearly linked to, perhaps even responsible for, this whole situation.

Ernie Macmillan of Hufflepuff still thought Harry was guilty, Peeves was singing his song about Harry regularly, and Lockhart seemed to think he and he alone had made the attacks stop. While the Gryffindors were lining up for Transfiguration (a class Harmony found ridiculously easy after forcing her mind to think in sub-atomic terms, which was surprising as she expected to have to think in quantum physics) he was saying to McGonagall "I don't think there'll be any more trouble, Minerva. I think the Chamber has been locked for good this time. The culprit must have known it was only a matter of time before I caught him. Rather sensible to stop now, before I came down hard on him." He tapped his nose and winked "You know, what the school needs now is a morale-booster. Wash away the memories of last term! I won't say any more just now, but I think I know just the thing…"

At breakfast time on February 14, Lockhart's idea of a morale-booster was unveiled to the students. The walls were covered in gigantic, luxurious-looking pink flowers, heart-shaped confetti was falling from the pale blue ceiling, and a lot of girls were giggling. Harmony on the other hand said "I'm glad there are shields over the tables preventing shit from falling in our food." In the case of Halloween decorations i.e. live bats, or the owl mail of the mornings, this was quite a literal issue, and so it was now (and so it was at Christmases too).

* * *

A/N: I changed this because wiping sparkles off your bacon is DISGUSTING, surely Hogwarts is sophisticated enough to support localized shield emission within its halls…

* * *

"What's going on?" Harry asked, sitting down and shaking the confetti off his sleeves before reaching for the food.

Ron pointed to the teachers' table, too disgusted to speak. Lockhart, wearing lurid pink robes to match the decorations, was waving for silence. The teachers all looked stony-faced or seemed to be trying hard to restrain themselves from laughing. McGonagall's cheek was twitching dangerously and Snape's face showed utmost disgust. "Happy Valentine's Day!" the lunatic shouted "And may I thank the forty-six people who have so far sent me cards! Yes, I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all—and it doesn't end here!" He clapped his hands and a dozen annoyed-looking goblins, wearing golden wings, halos and carrying harps, came in from the Entrance Hall. Harmony's eye twitched as he continued "My friendly, card-carrying cupids! They will be roving around the school today delivering your valentines! And the fun doesn't stop here! I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion! And while you're at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I've ever met, the sly old dog!"

Flitwick raised a hand, slapped it to his forehead, and dragged it down his face in a clearly exaggerated fashion, while Snape looked like he would murder the first person to speak of love potions near him. Harmony in the meantime told Harry "Delivering valentines? More like delivering mortal humiliation."

"Please, Hermione, tell me you weren't one of the forty-six." Ron surprisingly hadn't taken long to pick up on this possibility and was trying the puppy eyes trick with his big blues on their way out of the Great Hall for class. He had for once ate LESS (and finished faster) than either of the twin girls did, this was not apocalyptic mostly as he looked faintly green, but that may have been in contrast to (and because of) the red and pink room and a pathological need to get away from the decorations.

Hermione refused to even look at him as Harmony rolled her eyes at the drama between her sister and possible future brother-in-law. Technically, biologically speaking, any mate of her twin's was basically also hers as they were identical, but that was beside the point and socially not accepted except as fantasy material for young males. It was entirely possible that if she managed to keep her Janitor work hidden from the boys until they were into puberty that they would have such dreams, but if they knew that she had long since learnt how to smile as she killed… it would be a whole different story.

Throughout the damned day, the hired goblins barged into classes to deliver valentines, to the great irritation of the teachers. Late that afternoon, one of them caught up to Harry, Ron, and Harmony. "Oy, you! 'Arry Potter!" The viciously grinning goblin was elbowing people out of the way to get to Harry. Harmony realized a bit late that this wasn't the best place for Harry to get a valentine, as the line of first-years next to them included Ginny Weasley, who had a serious crush on Harry. She should have realized earlier, but since she didn't hold with that sort of nonsense (i.e. Valentines), she had neglected it…

Well, maybe it would teach Harry to give boots to the side of heads with great force? Nah, he wouldn't learn such a lesson, well, that was his own problem. He hadn't gone two paces before the goblin caught up and plucked his harp threateningly. "I've got a musical message to deliver to 'Arry Potter in person."

"Not here!" Harry hissed, trying to escape.

"Stay still!" The goblin ordered, grabbing hold of Harry's bag and yanking him

Apparently, wizarding bags were of horrible quality, since when Harry tugged on his end the bag split in two. Harry's books, wand, parchments and quill fell to the ground and his ink bottle shattered over them. Harry scrabbled around trying to pick up everything, causing a bit of a hold-up in the corridor.

"What's going on here?" Draco Malfoy had arrived on the scene and was drawling. Harry was trying to jam everything into his torn bag before the goblin, who seemed to be enjoying the sight, could start singing.

"What's all this commotion?" Percy Weasley had arrived. Harry seemed to panic and tried to make a run for it, but the goblin grabbed him around the knees long enough to make him fall before he was abruptly removed from Harry's vicinity by a hand seizing him around the back of the neck.

"You will not, under any circumstances, physically attack my friends again." Harmony stated before dropping the goblin unceremoniously on the ground "Well, get it over with, deliver your valentine." The goblin glared at her for a moment before smirking knowingly and turning.

"Harmony!" Harry whined, scrabbling backward on hands and feet.

"I'm teaching you valuable skills here, Harry, you need to learn when to stun someone and run for it, or when to deliver a boot to the side of someone's head with great force" she gestured at Malfoy "Preferably BEFORE self-centered, arrogant, pole-up-their-ass persons" she flicked her eyes toward Percy, who chose to ignore her or just didn't see as her back was turned to him "arrive on the scene. It won't do you harm in the long run, I promise."

Harry sighed and stopped, though this was more probably as he'd backed into a wall, and the goblin had just been following him leisurely. "Right… Here is your singing valentine…

_His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,  
His hair is as dark as a blackboard.  
I wish he was mine, he's really divine,  
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord._"

"There, that didn't hurt did it? Brush it off and get your ass moving." Harmony pulled him up with one hand while noting a certain blonde picking something up of the ground and bristling "Malfoy, give that back, right now, unless you want me to introduce your head to the floor as before, but repeatedly this time."

Percy was trying to disperse the laughing crowd and Harry seemed too embarrassed to notice much while Malfoy didn't seem to hear her or chose to ignore the painful lessons she'd meted out regularly to him "Wonder what Potter's written in this?"

She blinked, as a hush fell over the corridor, she broke it by asking Harry incredulously "Is he blind? Does he not see the year on the cover?"

"Hand it over, Malfoy." Percy said sternly. Ginny looked terrified, and that was the emotion that was radiating from her general direction… _could she have been the one to try to flush the Diary? Why?_ Harmony's mind filed this away for later reference.

"When I've had a look." Malfoy waved it tauntingly at Harry. Harmony wondered when his IQ had declined to less than that of Crabbe and Goyle given he was not noticing a girl who had repeatedly owned him in close combat. She was somewhat taller than even Crabbe or Goyle, and probably weighed about as much as either one of them even if she wasn't quite as bulky (in terms of shoulder width), she wasn't that easy to miss, but Malfoy apparently had missed her. _Oh, maybe it's because Hermione's gone to the bathroom and we look almost identical other than my extra body armour bulk?_

"As a school prefect—" Percy began imperiously, however Harry lost his temper, yanking his wand out even as Harmony advanced on Malfoy. His goons stepped forward just a little to meet the threat, but they seemed more frightened than in previous encounters.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Harry shouted, and the diary flew out of Malfoy's hand into the air. Ron, grinning rather widely, caught it.

"Harry! No magic in the corridors. I'll have to report this, you know!" Percy said loudly. Harry on the other hand, if Harmony focused hard, was thinking that one-upping Malfoy was worth a few points from Gryffindor any day. This was typical male dick-waving behaviour, but then again Lavender's typical female gossiping was unpleasant as well… Mind-reading was a rather focused process, for example, when downloading information from him in the Common Room, she had to be so focused that she had to pretend to nap on the couch to cover up her complete zone-outs.

Malfoy was looking furious, and as Ginny passed him to enter her classroom, he yelled after her "I don't think Potter liked your valentine much!"

Ginny covered her face with her hands and ran into class (fortunately not tripping over anything). Ron grabbed his wand but Harry grabbed his hand, motioning with his head to the brunette beside them. Harmony gave Percy a pointed look and held up her left hand's index finger, then waggled it in a "turn around" gesture. The older Weasley, who had stiffened on seeing his only and very much younger sister being bullied, nodded sharply before turning around and yelling at the crowd to disperse. There were three loud yelps, four thumps, and some other assorted noises of pain before Harmony spoke again. "I'm done for now."

"Well, what's everyone waiting for? Get moving!" Percy yelled at the crowd again and they finally began to move. "Classes started almost five minutes ago!"

Only after reaching class (they had less periods per week of each class now that the basic introduction to magic was done with, otherwise they'd need more professors per subject… but they also had much more homework) did Harry notice that the diary was clean, whereas all his other books were drenched in scarlet ink. Harmony noted this as well, hypothesizing that "Maybe it has a charm on it to prevent ink bottle smashes from staining it? But then why would the sheets have been damp when water was spilled on it in Myrtle's bathroom?" Then again, they hadn't seemed wet, just a bit damp to the touch, from being submerged in water for at least five or ten minutes… something was very wrong with the diary, Harmony was almost certain…

* * *

Harmony went up the boys' staircase a la invisibility cloak almost right after Harry did so. She saw Harry flicking through the pages, which were untouched by scarlet ink, then pull a new bottle out of his cabinet, dip his quill in, and drop a blot onto the first page. The ink shone on the paper for a second, then acted as if it was sucked through the page or sank under the page surface, vanishing without a trace. Harmony blinked at the Psi-ripple she'd barely managed to catch the tail end of in her senses, this was weird, this was fucking weird, and what was even more dangerous was that Harry didn't seem to realize it.

Harry actually seemed excited as he loaded up his quill again and wrote _"My name is Harry Potter."_

The words stayed for a moment, then they too were absorbed, emerging from the paper were the words, in the same ink "_Hello, Harry Potter. My name is Tom Riddle. How did you come by my diary_?"

_I detect… an imprinted Psi-signature, no, more than that, something intangible, only observable in the psychic dimensions of this reality which I have yet to learn to access._ Harmony frowned as she took the Cloak off and cast some privacy charms around the bed's general vicinity "Harry, I'm picking up strange psychic readings from that Diary, ti's like an imprint of a past mind, maybe even a soul… I don't know, I don't think you should use it." She sat down next to the boy, completely ignoring the awkwardness potential of the situation.

"It can't be that bad, right? What's the harm in trying this out? We might find out about what the attacks were caused by and who did it." Harry didn't look away from the shining writing on the diary.

"Harry, if this fries your brain or something… I'm going to say this in advance: I told you so. However, you're right in that it would be a good idea to try it out first. I'll try to shock you back to reality if anything seems really wrong."

"Alright, Harmony." He nodded at her, he might not approve of her methods sometimes, but he couldn't deny that she gave results… such as weeks' worth of public humiliation for Malfoy after every beating delivered.

"_Someone tried to flush it down a toilet."_ He scribbled back.

"_Lucky that I recorded my memories in some more lasting way than ink. But I always knew that there would be those who would not want this diary read._"

"He's baiting you, Harry, he knows of you or knows you somehow, I think the diary might be alive, and whoever's behind it is someone quite evil… feels like Voldemort's aura, almost, if I strain my senses, but it's different too…" Harmony told him.

He nodded again before scrawling _"What do you mean?"_ on the page.

A moment later, it faded and was replaced by other words "_I mean that this diary holds memories of terrible things. Things that were covered up. Things that happened at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._"

"_That's where I am now. I'm at Hogwarts, and horrible stuff 's been happening. Do you know anything about the Chamber of Secrets?"_ Harry wrote back.

"Good, Harry, he's baiting you with the information, he's not going to spring the trap on you so soon, so pretend to fall for his bait." Harmony encouraged, subtly trying to teach him some methods of information extraction from an enemy that did not require force.

Riddle's return writing was less tidy this time. "_Of course I know about the Chamber of Secrets. In my day, they told us it was a legend, that it did not exist. But this was a lie. In my fifth year, the Chamber was opened and the monster attacked several students, finally killing one. I caught the person who'd opened the Chamber and he was expelled. But the headmaster, Professor Dippet, ashamed that such a thing had happened at Hogwarts, forbade me to tell the truth. A story was given out that the girl had died in a freak accident. They gave me a nice, shiny, engraved trophy for my trouble and warned me to keep my mouth shut. But I knew it could happen again. The monster lived on, and the one who had the power to release it was not imprisoned._"

_Sounds about right, especially if he in fact did it and framed someone… I don't trust this damned thing, something's very wrong with it._ Harmony's mind trilled, she nodded for Harry to write back, and so he did.

"It's happening again now. There have been three attacks and no one seems to know who's behind them. Who was it last time?"

"_I can show you, if you like. You don't have to take my word for it. I can take you inside my memory of the night when I caught him._"

"A mere psychic signature imprint cannot store memories like this, I think this is a soul fragment, Harry." Harmony said gravely. "Soul magic is generally considered dark and dangerous, so either Riddle was into the Dark Arts or he was really desperate to get the truth out. Either way, if he wants to attack you, I doubt he'd strike so soon, all the novels I've read with soul containers have them trying to leech life or psychic power over time from someone to build a new body. He won't hurt you, at least not much, not yet."

Harry looked startled, but then asked "Why the hell would I do what he tells me to then?"

In the meantime the diary had written "_Let me show you._"

"I'll do it instead then." Harmony reached over with her fountain pen and wrote _"OK"_ before Harry could stop her. Fountain pens were refillable unlike ballpoints and was more suited to the ink bottles seen in Hogwarts with respect to re-supply. Of course, she had ballpoints ready, to be used for some situations since they didn't depend on gravity to work unlike fountain pens or quills. Hermione had adopted quills, but Harmony wanted to bring some change to the Wizarding World to break the cycles of dark lords…

The pages of the diary began to shift and blew to the page for June 13th, as if in a high wind. Harry gaped in shock as the little square that surrounded the date turned into a miniature TV screen of sorts. Harmony felt the strong psi-illusion energy asserting itself over the paper's surface even before Harry pressed his eyes onto the page… and went stiff, his awareness apparently sucked into the diary's psionic matrix.

Harmony laid him back on the bed, then straddled him and put her forehead to his (putting her hands over her face to reduce the risk of getting a bruised nose if he should catapult forward upon awakening). Taking a few deep breaths, she extended a small probe, a small data feed… and she saw something straight out of a detective movie. Harry's mind was indeed standing in a psychic hologram i.e. a memory, and the occupants weren't responding to whatever he tried to do, the young, untrained boy didn't seem to understand this though… She realized this was an awkward position, but she wasn't trained enough to read minds in real time without close approach of her brain to the target's, even though it usually made mind-reading rather useless and obvious, it was useful here.

A frail-looking old wizard, bald but for a few wisps of white hair, was reading a letter by candlelight at the Headmaster's Desk. Harmony recognized him as Armando Dippet, Headmaster before Dumbledore, who had only gotten the job in the 1950s. It seemed to be around sunset outside, and Dippet seemed to be waiting for someone. She watched in silence as Harry realized he was non-existent to those in the memory, and watched as a Slytherin Prefect of about sixteen years of age entered the room, with jet-black hair and a face she somehow reflexively hated. "Ah, Riddle" Dippet siad.

"You wanted to see me, Professor Dippet?" Riddle looked a bit nervous. Harmony's suspicions grew, why would he look so nervous if he wasn't associated with or perhaps even causing the attacks?

"Sit down… I've just been reading the letter you sent me." Dippet sighed.

"Oh." Riddle's hands were gripping together very tightly.

"My dear boy, I cannot possibly let you stay at school over the summer. Surely you want to go home for the holidays?" Dippet raised an eyebrow.

"No! I'd much rather stay at Hogwarts than go back to that… to that…"Riddle had answered at once. _Possibly abused childhood, if true, probable Dark Side inclination, especially with use of Soul Magic, since the other choice, the Noble Git Syndrome choice, would never use Soul Magic._ Harmony analyzed.

"You live in a Muggle orphanage during the holidays, I believe?" Dippet asked with a frown.

"Yes, sir." Riddle reddened slightly, Harmony's mental frown grew bigger. _Dislikes or is ashamed of muggle environment, even more proof of Dark Side inclination, wouldn't be surprised if this was Voldy himself given the Soul Magic and the vaguely similar aura of the soul._

"You are Muggle-born?" Dippet asked.

"Half-blood, sir, Muggle father, witch mother." _Why would he know that if he lives in an orphanage? He seems entirely too concerned with blood status to be a Noble Git, which means he's most likely a high-end Dark Wizard._

"And are both your parents—?"

"My mother died just after I was born, sir. They told me at the orphanage she lived just long enough to name me—Tom after my father, Marvolo after my grandfather." _Holy shit YES he doesn't have any idea just how much intelligence he just leaked to us, we have a set of search parameters by using birth records from the late 1920s. In the Roaring Twenties, the records were more complete than during the Depression so we'll have better success. We'll alert Mom and have her start the search through the British Government's records of children born at orphanages near Vauxhall Road named Tom Marvolo Riddle in 1926 or 1927. If we don't get a match, we'll expand it to 1925 as well._ Harmony's mind grinned viciously.

"The thing is, Tom, special arrangements might have been made for you, but in the current circumstances…" Dippet sighed.

"You mean all these attacks, sir?" Harry actually leaned closer, apparently forgetting that he was clearly being baited by the Diary.

"Precisely. My dear boy, you must see how foolish it would be of me to allow you to remain at the castle when term ends. Particularly in light of the recent tragedy… the death of that poor little girl… You will be safer by far at your orphanage. As a matter of fact, the Ministry of Magic is even now talking about closing the school. We are no nearer locating the… er… source of all this unpleasantness."

"Sir… if the person was caught… if it all stopped…" Riddle said slowly, seemingly thinking hard.

Dippet sat bolt upright "What do you mean? Riddle, do you mean you know something about these attacks?" _Yes, obviously he does, I think he's behind them, fifth year's about right for knowing the castle well enough to find the Chamber._ Harmony thought vindictively.

"No, sir." Riddle said quickly. Harmony snorted mentally.

Dippet sank back into his chair in disappointment "You may go, Tom…"

Riddle slid off his chair and slouched out of the room, Harry following as he had to, given the hologram was of limited area, restricted to the area Riddle's psyche had subconsciously scanned. They went down the moving spiral sitars, and Riddle stopped after emerging into the hall from next to the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's Office. He seemed to be doing some serious thinking. _And this is when he decides to throw someone else under the bus to let him stay at school over the summer and cover his tracks, who could it be though? It has to be someone convincing, a troublemaker or someone who really likes all sorts of things others consider monsters. Well, if the guy he framed wasn't imprisoned, that meant he had someone vouch for him or something…_ Harmony's mind blinked in surprise _I think it'll be Hagrid, if Hagrid's old enough to have been a third-year at Hogwarts in 1942…_

They didn't encounter another person until they met a younger Dumbledore, with a mix of reddish and silver hair, in the Entrance Hall. _Huh, there's a lot of redheaded magicals, it seems._ Harmony noted absently before realizing it wasn't much more than were in muggle populations, and depended on whether you could call a tan/orange shade red, some called it strawberry blonde or something like that… "What are you doing, wandering around this late, Tom?"

"I had to see the headmaster, sir." Riddle answered.

Dumbledore gave him a penetrating stare "Well, hurry off to bed. Best not to roam the corridors these days. Not since…" He sighed, said good night to Riddle, then walked off. Riddle watched him leave before moving quickly down the steps to the dungeons, Harry following him closely.

The rest of the memory was quite simple, Riddle tracking and ambushing Hagrid as he tried to get a giant spider, probably an Acromantula, into a box and out of the school. So Riddle had framed Hagrid for the attacks, since Harmony knew Acromantuals either killed you, tied you up, or left you alone depending on their mood and hunger level. They couldn't petrify people… and their kill strike, with chelicerae (most people called these fangs, they technically are not) and venom, left no real space for error, unlike a psychic EMP attack which, while usually lethal, did leave room for error.

However, just by the fact that Riddle hadn't been murdered by the Acromantula as it fled and bowled him over had told Harmony that it was definitely not responsible for the attacks, never mind that it COULDN'T petrify people. It chose not to harm people, not even someone trying to harm it and its friend, and that meant it wouldn't have chosen to attack those other victims. Harry was ejected from the memory as Hagrid tackled Riddle to the ground to protect his friend. His back arched off the bed before he landed harshly on it, probably as he was not used to out-of-body episodes (to be fair, Harmony had never tried any such episodes). He was panting in shock as Harmony pushed herself off of him, opening her eyes, winding down her focus level and re-establishing environmental perception after ending the data tap.

"There you two are… am I interrupting something?" Harry looked flushed with shock and excitement while Harmony looked stoic as usual and was taking slow, deep breaths, still straddling his hips. It was easy to jump to the conclusion that they had been kissing or something (though she doubted Ron's immature mind would go further than kissing). The fact that Harry started shaking violently as Harmony got off of him seemed to change Ron's mind though. "What's up?" He asked with concern in his voice.

"It was Hagrid, Ron. Hagrid opened the Chamber of Secrets fifty years ago."

"No, he was framed, if the monster was able to kill people on Hagrid's orders, then when Riddle tried to attack Hagrid, the first thing it would have done was kill Riddle, it would have made sure no one knew and both it and Hagrid would be out of trouble. Acromantula are sapient, Harry, their venom will kill you easily or poison you for a while if they somehow inject too little, they have no means whatsoever of petrifying people. Riddle either decided to just catch Hagrid so he could stay at school in the summers, or he framed Hagrid to get the blame away from himself. Look at the evidence, Harry, if the monster Hagrid had was a killer, it would have killed Riddle!" She hammered the point home again.

"…What are you talking about? Hold on, I'll get Hermione…"

"I think that we have realized just who was guilty of the attacks last time, although who he is directing to do it this time, we do not know. The question is no longer who. The question is… how?"

* * *

A/N: given how most female fiction characters are known for pistols, SMGs and/or snipers, Harmony is at best going to be a bit unconventional.

REVIEW!


	8. Operational Catastrophes

A/N: While I agree that Harry at twelve and a half is far too scrawny and small-framed for you to expect him to be participating in any adult or even romantic activities. Harmony at twelve and a half towers over him at 166 cm (about 5'5") and weighing in at 70 kilograms (154 pounds) of high-density muscle and reinforced bones. Hermione's got less collision mass, but that's because curves have lower density than muscle, the twins look basically the same when clothed, Hermione's better figure is masked by Harmony's body armour adding bulk. For the twins, it's not very weird to imagine them participating in… activities… at their size and weight.

So, at what age should Harry start noticing that whenever she's being subtly defensive (as opposed to counter-attacking the aggressor) over him that Harmony has a tendency to hug him to her chest and rest her solid chest-piece on his shoulders? She'll have an arm wrapped around him with her wand and her other one poised to draw and fire her gun, but he won't notice those parts as much as the two globes (however solid and hardened the armour is, as opposed to warm and soft) against the back of his head. I'd say 14 is a reasonable age for the _oblivious_ kid to notice stuff, and I'd prefer he crushes more on her instead of Chang… even though it's going to be even worse when she has to shove… *grunts in effort * him… over to… Ginny *ah, there we go, whew!*. Ginny wouldn't alarm him too badly with life and career choices and after Harmony taught her enough actually wanted Harry as Harry, not the BWL.

* * *

Chapter 8: Operational Catastrophes

Harry blinked at Harmony, then asked "Wait, how did you see that stuff? And why are you on top of me?" It was beginning to hurt his thighs, given the weight of her legs, which were knelt on either side of his legs, were made up for by the heavy body armour she had shown him once before, she'd told him she wore it all the time when in public. She might have stopped straddling his hips shortly after Ron arrived, but that didn't mean she'd actually gotten fully _off_ of him.

Harmony raised an eyebrow while internally screaming at her failure of secrecy, actually getting off him now and sitting next to him on the bed "Do you really think you were the only one to get sucked into that memory? I put my eye against that thing right after you did… and when it chucked us out I guess I happened to land on you, I mean, surely you prefer this position to me putting a knee into your crotch, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Ron and Hermione nagged Harry and Harmony into recounting what they'd seen in the Diary many times. Harry had gotten sick of it, and Harmony wasn't far behind, especially since the others seemed to be refusing to believe her obvious conclusion that Riddle had been behind the attacks and had framed Hagrid. "Riddle _might _have got the wrong person, maybe it was some other monster that was attacking people…"

"How many monsters d'you think this place can hold?" Ron asked sullenly. Harmony's opinion was _A hell of a lot._

"We always knew Hagrid had been expelled, and the attacks must've stopped after Hagrid was kicked out. Otherwise, Riddle wouldn't have got his award." Harry muttered miserably.

"That's because Riddle knew it was too risky to open the Chamber again after he'd successfully framed Hagrid and gotten him expelled!" Harmony snapped, but they seemed to not hear her on purpose since, according to what she'd overheard her sister telling Harry and Ron one night when she'd gone to the bathroom, they thought she was too crazy for her own good sometimes.

"Riddle _does _sound like Percy—who asked him to squeal on Hagrid, anyway?" Ron groused, changing tracks.

"But the monster had _killed _someone, Ron!" Hermione waved her arms in the air as if trying to draw attention to a giant sign proclaiming the fact.

"And Riddle was going to go back to some Muggle orphanage if they closed Hogwarts, I don't blame him for wanting to stay here."

"Ron, what exactly did you find when you went to Harry's house to rescue him last summer?" Harmony demanded suddenly, grabbing the front of the redhead's collar and glaring at him "Stop it, Hermione," Her twin was trying to remove Harmony's hands from Ron, and it was surprisingly hard to ward her off with only one hand, despite Harmony being trained and Hermione not "if Harry thinks that way there is something seriously wrong with his home life and if I have to… clean up… his relatives I will do it in a heartbeat. We can get them arrested and jailed for this, destroy their perfectly normal-obsessed lives… they ARE obsessed with being normal, right, Harry? I mean, there's no other reason to abuse you for being a wizard, the way you told us they abused you, right?" _Oops, got to be careful there, damn you Harry Potter you're making me slip up a lot more than I would otherwise._

"Well I wouldn't exactly call it that… Uncle Vernon never really beat me or anything…" Harry squirmed in his seat as she glared at him.

"There were bars on his bedroom window, and a cat-flap had been installed in his door. Hedwig's cage was padlocked, all his school stuff was locked in the cupboard under the stairs." Harmony already knew all this, of course, so she had to pretend to be as enraged as Hermione.

"We'll make the fuckers pay, motherfuckers gonna pay for this boys…" Harmony growled dangerously, Hermione looked affronted as usual at the language (Harry and Ron had gasped in horror), but didn't seem to disagree much. "I'll handle the case, Hermione, over the summer, you just enjoy your vacation with Mom and Dad." A pointed look made Hermione keep the secret of Harmony's training, well, secret.

There was an awkward silence for a little while, before Hermione changed the subject "You met Hagrid down Knockturn Alley, didn't you, Harry?"

"He was buying a Flesh-Eating Slug Repellent." Harry replied quickly.

After another long silence, Hermione asked "Do you think we should go and _ask _Hagrid about it all?"

Ron snorted "That'd be a cheerful visit. 'Hello, Hagrid. Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?'"

Harmony applauded him briefly before voting that they shouldn't say anything to Hagrid until there was another attack. She also vocalized her opinion that the Diary was behind all the attacks, but the others scoffed at her as usual.

As time passed, with no more whispers from the disembodied voice and no more attacks, the other three became hopeful that they'd never have to ask Hagrid about his expulsion. Harmony became more and more convinced that the Diary was behind this all somehow, that it was a soul fragment of some sort, though she didn't know of any Dark Magic that could pull that off… Almost four months had passed since Justin and Nick had been Petrified, and nearly everyone thought the attacker had retired for good. Ernie had actually spoken to Harry in Herbology one day, and in March several of the Mandrakes decided to throw what had appeared to be a party in Greenhouse Three. Harmony had been there, and clearing her mind forcibly of psychic perceptions, she'd managed to see the plants doing… absolutely nothing except reflecting background psychic emanations. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that most people, if they thought they'd seen a bunch of plants partying and moving around, would go home and get some rest in case they were insane, because that seemed like an interesting (and functional) self-defence mechanism.

"The moment they start trying to move into each other's pots, we'll know they're fully mature. Then we'll be able to revive those poor people in the hospital wing." Sprout told Harry one day, when Harmony was just winding down from focusing and started to see the Mandrakes as moving things again now her mind was no longer fully cleared. She mentally snorted, there was no need for that, it was just what wizards thought they'd see when the plants reached sexual maturity and prepared to flower.

* * *

With Easter approaching, Harmony was expecting an intelligence report from her mother that weekend on the investigation into Tom Marvolo Riddle. Apparently, the one they were probably looking for had been born on the thirty-first of December, 1926. Of the few Tom Riddles that could reasonably be associated with magic in any way, shape or form and were in the right general age range to be the father of the boy, there was a Tom Riddle who had been a wealthy muggle living in Little Hangleton. Harmony had told her mother to be especially interested in Tom Riddles that had died mysteriously from 1942 to 1945, but who were not in the Army, since she had a feeling Voldemort wouldn't be able to find him if he was in the Army.

The man had been thirty-eight at death in 1943, and according to the old groundskeeper of the Riddle House, who had been blamed for the murders, though there was no proof, had seemed to have died of fear. His parents had also seemed to have died of pure fear. The groundskeeper had been questioned recently by a handful of soldiers dressed up as secret services personnel to make sure he kept quiet about the investigation. Supposedly he had run off with an ugly tramp called Merope Gaunt from an old, squalid family that also lived in the valley that he and his parents had owned. He had returned a few months after eloping and claimed he'd been hoodwinked, then never bothered to find out what had happened to his pregnant wife and their child.

Harmony thought this was probably the background for a very dark wizard, however, since the Diary was inactive and they did have something else to think about over Easter, she let it be for now pending further investigation. It had come time to choose their subjects for the third year, their electives, specifically. Harmony chose everything, just like Hermione. She could always drop a few courses if need be, after all, and she was looking forward as to how the hell the teachers would make her schedule if she signed up for everything. Since she didn't have Hermione's OCD tendency to triple-redo her essays and reread textbooks, she figured she would get away with it without feeling stressed much. Arithmancy was to her also known as math class, and she was confident she could thoroughly annihilate the class with the math skills she'd crammed into her head. Ancient Runes were basically about what she thought of as the study of using specific field emitter shapes to achieve given energy field harmonics, which was interesting from a military perspective. Care of Magical Creatures and Divination were for fun, and Muggle Studies was to know what the Wizarding World knew or believed of Muggles, so that she could exploit their no doubt many and lethal weaknesses.

On the Friday evening before the next Quidditch match, however, Harmony came to strongly regret not destroying the Diary. When Harry went up to his room to drop off his broom after practice, Neville told him that his trunk and living space had been thoroughly violated by an unknown person.

"What happened, Harry?" Was the first thing Ron said coming into the room with Dean, Seamus and the twins.

"No idea." He said.

While that was happening, Harmony got past the clog of shocked boys at the door and cursed "Fucking hell someone's ransacked your stuff, looking for something… Check for the book we were talking about these past couple weeks." She joined the search and soon they were all coming up blank "Damn, downstairs, boys, we need to talk."

"What do you reckon happened?" Seamus asked Dean as the four of them went down the stairs.

"Maybe she let him read her Diary and he lost it?" Dean replied.

"Well, it's kind of obvious she has a thing for him, always protecting him and all." Neville said. Meanwhile, Hermione, who had been in the very front, had already gotten into the common room and didn't hear, Harry and Ron were too lost in thought to perceive anything, while Harmony, matching the stumping pace of the boys (who clogged the stairs enough that her frame wouldn't fit past them), was mentally rocking back and forth in laughter. _Well, if the "thing" refers to the most annoying babysitting duty I've ever had the misfortune to be sentenced to, he's got it about right._

"The problem is, only a Gryffindor could have stolen it… no one else knows our password." Hermione said as they settled in some armchairs in a corner. Harmony, not liking the soft, squashy armchairs unless there was a good reason to sit on them, stayed standing.

"Exactly." Ron sounded at best grim.

"The Diary probably possessed someone to open the Chamber, and now that they've figured out you have it, they were terrified the Diary would rat them out to you. So they stole it back."

"You know, that sounds surprisingly sensible and not in the least paranoid or insane." Hermione said slowly.

"Well HALLELUJAH!" Harmony rolled her eyes.

"Here comes the insanity again." Ron muttered.

"Why thank you, Ronald, now, we need to devise a plan to help Harry survive tomorrow's match, Slytherin's Heir is on the prowl again after the Diary leaves our possession, no doubt." Harmony stated grimly, wondering if it was time to clip her A-WSM-10-25B back onto the front of her body armour.

The submachine gun might not have the kill-power of a P90 self-defence weapon against armoured targets, nor the light recoil of that gun's 5.7mm rounds, but the heavy slugs it fired were more than enough to disable most infantry or similarly sized targets with sheer force if need be, and it was even tinier than the P90. There was talk about getting rights to the magazine system of the P90 and applying it to SI's SMGs to increase ammo capacity, but there had also recently been talk of creating a similarly small-calibre system that could pierce body armour at close range, talk that had been scrapped in favour of simply purchasing some P90s for use. Interestingly, the P90 was not able to, unless fired at barrel-contact range, pierce the relatively new Dragon Scale body armour SI troops were beginning to be equipped en masse with.

The funny thing was that although the 10mm FMJ round, fired from a A-WP-10-15D pistol, was considered effective to only fifty meters (mostly due to the rather short distance between front and rear sights), it was technically quite accurate to over 90 and retained lethal energy for about four times that far. Fired from the longer barrel of the SMG, it could kill at up to around 600 meters, although you'd be hard-pressed to hit anything over 80 meters without using the scope, and even then hitting anyone at more than about 200 was a challenge due to bullet drop over the distance and possible effects of wind.

The next day had bright sunshine and a light, refreshing breeze, or as some people claimed, such as Wood, it had "Perfect Quidditch conditions!" He called enthusiastically at the Gryffindor table that morning, "Harry, buck up there, you need a decent breakfast."

Harry had been staring down the table, obviously wondering if the one who took the Diary was right in front of his eyes. Hermione had urged him to report the robbery the previous night, to which Harmony had objected because "we would need to explain how we had it for such a long time and didn't report a clearly dangerous artefact, and this isn't something a teacher can help us with anyhow". That had been right after Harry cited a reason that made Harmony's eye tic in irritation at his Noble Git behaviour and the associated idiocy. _He_ didn't want to reveal how Hagrid was expelled fifty years ago, didn't want to be the one to bring it up all again…

Harmony told them she'd meet them outside at the pitch as she went off to the bathroom alone. Little did she know that she wouldn't see her twin sister conscious again for some time… all because she'd been too stupid to put the clues together quickly enough and just destroy the Diary, then be done with it.

She detected the little psychic echo of a bit of Parseltongue while on the charmed-self-sterilizing toilet seat, but hadn't been paying much attention to it as she did her business, although her hands did self-consciously run over the gun holsters under her school robes…

Harmony had just gotten to the stadium when she felt what amounted to a psychic hammer hitting her in the side of the head and blinked suddenly. _Something's just happened, fuck, shouldn't have left those three alone… Wait, Ron's coming… where's Hermione, where could she be? Wouldn't Ron have known if something had happened to her? He follows her around like a lovesick puppy all the time anyways._

McGonagall charged onto the pitch as the teams prepared to mount their brooms. She had an enormous purple megaphone with her. "This match has been cancelled!" She shouted through the megaphone.

"But, Professor! We've got to play… the Cup… _Gryffindor_…" Oliver Wood, Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, had landed and ran toward McGonagall without getting off his broom.

She ignored him and continued yelling "All students are to make their way back to the House common rooms, where their Heads of Houses will give them further information. As quickly as you can, please!" She lowered the megaphone and gestured Harry over, and Harmony knew what that meant. From the horrified, stricken look on his face, so did Ron.

Harry, being the dimwit he was, actually seemed surprised that McGonagall didn't object to the two of them joining him on their way toward the castle, in fact, she mumbled "Yes, perhaps you'd better come, too, Weasley, and I would have grabbed you first if it wasn't for the crowd, Shepard…" Some of the chattering mass around them were grumbling about the match cancellation while others looked worried, but Harmony paid them very little attention as she bulldozed her way through the crowd.

"This will be a bit of a shock… There has been another attack… another _double _attack." McGonagall said softly as they neared the infirmary.

Harmony was only surprised that it was a double attack, not at all surprised that there was an attack now that they had lost the Diary. The only thing that would stop her from slamming Harry against the wall and yelling at him about the mess was the fact that he'd probably blame himself anyways due to how he was abused when he was younger. However, she planned to still make it absolutely clear that if he had only let her destroy the Diary like she wanted to, it would have been fine. There were some things, in her opinion, that needed excision from existence, and diaries tainted with evil auras that could speak back and therefore bewitch the user were one of those things. Others in that category included evil psychopaths i.e. Dark Lords, Lockhart, and so on.

Madam Pomfrey was bending over a sixth-year girl with long, dark, curly hair when they entered, the same Ravenclaw Prefect they'd accidentally asked for directions to the Slytherin Common Room. On the next bed over was… "Hermione!" Ron groaned in a way that made Harmony want to laugh internally, if he was older, the connotations would have been quite amusing to say the least.

"They were found near the library. I don't suppose either of you can explain this? It was on the floor next to them…" She held up a small, circular mirror.

The three of them shook their heads, staring at Hermione, who laid with her eyes open and glassy, covered up to the neck with a white sheet. Harmony wondered if she herself would look like that one day in the future before she would finally be stuffed in a body bag for disposal. It was a known fact that ambitious soldier-girls had a tendency to die young…

She had no idea what Hermione had been doing with the mirror, but she put her hand on her twin's head and focused as best she could to figure out what was up. It was some sort of psychic field… maybe a stasis field to protect against further harm? She couldn't tell enough to figure it out yet… Her train of thought was interrupted by Professor McGonagall "I will escort you back to Gryffindor Tower… I need to address the students in any case…"

* * *

"All students will return to their House common rooms by six o'clock in the evening. No student is to leave the dormitories after that time. You will be escorted to each lesson by a teacher. No student is to use the bathroom unaccompanied by a teacher. All further Quidditch training and matches are to be postponed. There will be no more evening activities." Harmony was strongly reminded of wartime security measures as imposed during the previous World Wars and the Psychic Dominator Disaster. "I need hardly add that I have rarely been so distressed. It is likely that the school will be closed unless the culprit behind these attacks is caught. I would urge anyone who thinks they might know anything about them to come forward."

Lee Jordan was the first to start shouting to the crowd after McGonagall left through the portrait hole and said hole closed "That's two Gryffindors down, not counting a Gryffindor ghost, one Ravenclaw, and one Hufflepuff. Haven't _any _of the teachers noticed that the Slytherins are all safe? Isn't it _obvious _all this stuff 's coming from Slytherin? The _Heir _of Slytherin, the _monster _of Slytherin—why don't they just chuck all the Slytherins out?"

"Because for once it's not a Slytherin, no, it's an inside job this time…" Harmony said softly from her place behind and somewhat above Harry and Ron's ears.

"Looks that way…" Harry said quietly, then raised his voice a bit as he noticed something weird. "What's wrong with Percy?"

"Percy's in shock." George told him rather quietly. Harmony was surprised that George was showing his brother so much respect "That Ravenclaw girl—Penelope Clearwater—she's a prefect. I don't think he thought the monster would dare attack a _prefect._"

"If you ask me, it's more likely for Penelope to be his girlfriend than it being that she was a prefect." Harmony commented "Boys don't get that shell-shocked over something small like a prefect being attacked."

"Are you sure you're talking about the same Percy we know?" George questioned.

She blinked, then sighed, Percy from the twins' points of view might just overreact enough to be catatonic, but she had a feeling it was more than that, it was probably more that the twins couldn't believe Percy had managed to get a girlfriend with how much of a pompous prick he was. "Well, to each his or her own I guess…"

Harry in the meantime was staring off into space, no doubt thinking about what he was looking at for the rest of his life back at the Dursleys. Harmony couldn't have that, the number one rule of an army was that the general couldn't be seen depressed or panicking under any circumstances, and for the citizenry, people they considered heroes couldn't be seen depressed or panicking. She sat next to him on the armrest of the armchair he was in, then cupped his cheek, turning his head her way. "Look at me Harry." She said as soft as she could, trying not to grind her teeth at Fred and George's smirks. It seemed her trying not to just slap some sense into him had been lost upon the duo, since they thought she was being affectionate by how gentle she was forcing herself to be. From what she'd stripped from his mind, the Dursleys had never had the guts to actually smack some sense into the boy, merely neglected and emotionally abused him. Still, she didn't want to make him feel even worse, so she had to take the soft approach no matter how much it left a sour taste in her mouth. "You will not have to go back there if Hogwarts closes down, you can come live with me and Hermione, our parents would welcome you into our household." Well, at least her father would, Mom would probably have a fit over her bringing an outsider into the house.

There was a moment of awkward (for Harry) and irritating (for Harmony) silence as they maintained eye contact before Harry nodded. Harmony twitched one side of her mouth up into a smirk and nodded back before looking away. Ron, seeing that his best mate's attention was no longer occupied, waited for the twins to finish clapping a vaguely bored-looking (also her irate face) Harmony on the shoulder, then leaned in and asked Harry quietly enough that Harmony had to discretely shift a bit to catch it clearly. "What're we going to do? D'you think they suspect Hagrid?"

"We've got to go and talk to him." Harry replied almost as quietly. "I can't believe it's him this time, but if he set the monster loose last time he'll know how to get inside the Chamber of Secrets, and that's a start."

"But McGonagall said we've got to stay in our tower unless we're in class…" Ron replied.

Harry got even quieter, and Harmony looked over, pretended to just notice their conversation, and did the best cover-up for joining the conversation that she could think of to throw the other students off their trail, well, anyone looking their way, at least, if there was anyone. The problem was that she decided to lean against Harry, resting her chin conveniently on his shoulder (it said something about the height difference given he was already leaned over toward Ron). This would prove disastrous in hindsight with respect to public opinion of their friendship. Still, at the moment, it was irrelevant as Harry said almost silently "I think… it's time for all of us to use my dad's old Cloak again."

Harmony had been using it all year to get in and take photos of the library books, and had completed quite a few more rows of shelves with how little sleep she actually needed and how quickly she could do her homework. The data accrued would prove very useful in SI weapons development in the coming months and years… but the Wizards didn't need to know any of that. Just their snootiness had made Harmony strongly dislike the whole arrogant holier-than-thou society from basically time zero. Apparently the stupid game called Quidditch was, in the opinions of essentially ALL wizards, superior to every muggle sport just because it was played with magic.

* * *

Harmony had snoozed in the common room until the boys came down from their dorm—they had to wait for everyone else to fall asleep—and then they headed out under the Cloak. She considered talking to them on how fake-sleeping—she might be used to waking up every ten minutes when napping before an op, but they probably weren't so they'd need to pretend and not actually sleep—in the common room was less likely to wake people when you left, but thought better of it. After all, The boys were considerably closer to their dorm-mates than she was to Parvati or Lavender, and chances were Neville, Dean or Seamus would have woken them up because they were their friends. Yes, they cared enough that they wanted you to sleep in your own bed, but not quite enough (or were of inadequate strength) that they would carry you up there themselves.

The castle corridors were unsurprisingly fuller than normal for the time of day, with teachers, Prefects and ghosts marching through them in pairs on the lookout for trouble. It wasn't much trouble getting past them as all the boys had to do was hold onto Harmony, somehow keep pace, and not trip up. After Ron stubbed his toe and they almost got caught by Snape, she grabbed both boys, threading her arms under theirs and carrying one of them on each side of her. She hoisted them up with her arms around their chests, then ran for it. Neither boy protested, since this had several benefits: The Cloak covered them more reliably, they were faster, and if they protested they would have been caught.

If any of the girls at the school (Slytherins excluded) had seen them do this, they would probably a) declare it romantic, b) say the boys should be carrying her instead or c) declare the previous two groups non-utilitarian morons. The boys… well, Ron and Harry would probably never live this down, it would have made them seem even less manly than they already did. After returning from any of the holidays (well, at the beginning of their friendship, the two Christmases, and the beginning of Second Year), people often blinked at the four of them, since the twins were, and still were as of early 1993, significantly taller than either of their male friends.

It took only a few minutes to storm silently down to the Entrance Hall, a whispered command from Harmony prompted the boys to grab the Invisibility Cloak and hold it in place around them as she ran down the steps out of the school and the wind ruffled the edges of the cloak slightly. A brief run later, she let them down right outside Hagrid's door and pulled the Cloak off before knocking. Hagrid flung it open seconds later with his crossbow levelled at them, and Fang the boarhound barked behind him. "Oh… What're you three doin' here?" He waved them on inside.

"What's that for?" Harry pointed at the crossbow.

"Security obviously, Harry. You'd think you were completely innocent, without a scrap of paranoia…" Harmony scoffed at him.

Hagrid nodded at Harmony to confirm her words "Other than that, well… I've bin expectin'… doesn' matter… Sit down… I'll make tea…" He seemed nervous and jittery, spilling some water on his fire by accident and accidentally dropping the teapot, which smashed only to be visually repaired with a wave of Harmony's wand. She was almost certain it didn't restore the material fully, or Ron wouldn't have shabby old robes from his brothers, as the robes would have seemed new after mending if the repair was perfect. Then again she'd need to test someone who had her theories versus someone who didn't to get real results, since Magic seemed to be very much about intent much of the time…

"Are you okay, Hagrid?" Harry asked, Hagrid nodded too quickly to be actually okay, but Harry pressed on "Did you hear about Hermione?"

"Oh, I heard, all righ'" He kept glancing at the windows nervously, pouring them all large mugs of boiling water (forgetting the teabags… Hagrid didn't seem to do well with excess stress, Harmony noted). He was just putting a slab of fruitcake on a plate when there was a loud knock. He dropped the fruitcake, glanced at them to ensure they'd hidden themselves, and seized his crossbow before throwing open the door. Harmony had shoved their mugs under the table and whipped the Cloak over them as soon as the knock happened, yanking the boys over into a corner of the hut.

"Good evening, Hagrid." Dumbledore said, entering with a grim expression on his face. He was followed by a rather odd-looking man. This man had dishevelled grey hair and was decked out in pinstriped suit, scarlet tie, long black cloak and pointed purple boots, with a lime-green bowler hat under one arm.

"That's Dad's boss! Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic!" Ron whispered to Harmony and Harry. Harmony put a finger on his lips to silence him at that.

Hagrid had gone pale and was sweating with nerves as he sat down. _This is bad, he needs to be able to stand his ground and duke it out with confidence, or he's going to end up pushed around too much._ Harmony thought "Bad business, Hagrid. Very bad business. Had to come. Four attacks on Muggleborns. Things've gone far enough. Ministry's got to act."

Harmony nailed Fudge's name to her mental list of "For Landfill". _Got to act my ass, you just need to be seen doing something to seem competent. Mum and Aunt Hannah never had this sort of problem, why? Because they actually were competent! You on the other hand clearly are not and should be shoved down the nearest garbage chute where you belong._ Meanwhile Hagrid looked imploringly at Dumbledore "I never… You know I never, Professor Dumbledore, sir—"

Dumbledore frowned at Fudge over his half-moon glasses "I want it understood, Cornelius, that Hagrid has my full confidence."

Fudge shifted uncomfortably "Look, Albus, Hagrid's record's against him. Ministry's got to do something…" _Wow, to admit it so bluntly means he can't just go in the landfill, no, the Incinerator is more like it for shameless trash like him._ "the school governors have been in touch—"

"Yet again, Cornelius, I tell you that taking Hagrid away will not help in the slightest." Dumbledore stated firmly, quietly, but it was as effective as a thunderous growl. Harmony felt her respect for the headmaster grow a notch at his ability to cow people without using confrontational terms.

"Look at it from my point of view." Fudge was fidgeting with his bowler. "I'm under a lot of pressure. Got to be seen to be doing something. If it turns out it wasn't Hagrid, he'll be back and no more said. But I've got to take him. Got to. Wouldn't be doing my duty—" _The only thing that needs to be taken somewhere right now is you, Fudge, and if you don't leave my sight within the next ten minutes or so the Ministry will have to get a new Minister. Forget using broomsticks to sweep out the trash, or even my "boomsticks" for that matter, just my knife will do the job, and no one ever needs to know who slit your throat from behind in the middle of the night on the grounds of Hogwarts, or in the Ministry itself if need be. If an even crappier Minister comes or one who persecutes Muggleborns, well, I'm sure we can get a revolution rolling, and as soon as I call in the heavy support, pull a few strings with the Muggle government of Britain, cleaning house won't be difficult._

"Take me? Take me where?" Hagrid was trmbling.

"For a short stretch only…" Fudge said lamely, not meeting Hagrid's eyes "Not a punishment, Hagrid, more a precaution. If someone else is caught, you'll be let out with a full apology—"

"Not Azkaban?" Hagrid croaked, looking like he was close to croaking.

However, another volley of raps on the door sounded before Fudge could answer, and Dumbledore opened the door. Harry got a hand closing in a momentary, cautionary vice-grip around his mouth as he gasped in shock. Lucius Malfoy had swept into Hagrid's hut in a long black travelling cloak, smiling coldly, cruelly. Fang began to growl at the exceedingly unwelcome intruder "Already here, Fudge." Harmony's ears perked up at that. _No doubt one of Fudge's "Financial Backers", the Malfoy family does have to hang onto its position on the Wizengamot and its place in pureblood society somehow… makes perfect sense._ "Good, good…"

"What're you doin' here? Get outta my house!" Hagrid said furiously.

Lucius sneered "My dear man, please believe me, I have no pleasure at all in being inside your — er — d'you call this a house?" _Arrogance, it shall be the downfall of the current wizarding governmental machine, and also the downfall of all dark wankers._ Harmony's mind twittered "I simply called at the school and was told that the headmaster was here."

"And what exactly did you want with me, Lucius?" Dumbledore may have acted polite, but there was no mistaking the fire in those blue eyes.

"_Dreadful _thing, Dumbledore…" Malfoy said with a lazy smirk, taking out a long roll of parchment. "but the governors feel it's time for you to step aside. This is an Order of Suspension — you'll find all twelve signatures on it. I'm afraid we feel you're losing your touch. How many attacks have there been now? Two more this afternoon, wasn't it? At this rate, there'll be no Muggle-borns left at Hogwarts, and we all know what an _awful _loss that would be to the school." He was still smirking, but it was now more triumphant than lazy.

Only a handful of reasons held Harmony back from giving the slime ball, well, both slime balls, an instant autopsy. Firstly, Dumbledore and Hagrid were too mired in the System, the Governmental Machine, to understand, they were unlikely to let it slide and keep quiet about it. Secondly at the moment, there wasn't an immediate need to do this since it was much more satisfying to destroy a victim slowly, to make them suffer as they have made others suffer. Thirdly, she had a submachine gun, a grenade launcher, and a pistol with her, whereas an Instant Autopsy required a shotgun to pull off properly.

Fudge looked positively alarmed "Oh, now, see here, Lucius… Dumbledore suspended… no, no… last thing we want just now…" _Wow, he isn't so bought that he goes with that? But I suppose bribe money can't quite buy you the public opinion that sending Dumbledore off will cost you… Serves you right Fudge to be put in a bind, hope this whole mess is resolved soon though, so that Hagrid doesn't have to suffer too much for Riddle's sins…_

"The appointment—or suspension—of the headmaster is a matter for the governors, Fudge. And as Dumbledore has failed to stop these attacks—" Malfoy's voice was sooth, silky, and made Harmony feel the need to throw him into Azkaban for life, or at least as long as he could last in there.

"See here, Malfoy, if _Dumbledore _can't stop them." Fudge's upper lip was sweating by now. "I mean to say, who _can_?"

Malfoy's smirk grew nastier "That remains to be seen, but as all twelve of us have voted…"

Hagrid leapt to his feet, towering over Lucius "An' how many did yeh have ter threaten an' blackmail before they agreed, Malfoy, eh?" Harmony thought the number was probably nine or ten, since most likely at least one other governor was a Death Eater in remission.

"Dear, dear, you know, that temper of yours will lead you into trouble one of these days, Hagrid. I would advise you not to shout at the Azkaban guards like that. They won't like it at all." Mr. Malfoy said calmly, nastily.

"Yeh can' take Dumbledore! Take him away, an' the Muggle-borns won' stand a chance! There'll be killin' next!" _Yes, there will be, the Heir of Slytherin may get the first kill in, but I can guarantee you that I will get the last, and that most of the deaths are the result of Janitorial activity. If I die before I finish the work, or hell probably even if I die afterward, my mother has no problem annihilating your entire corrupt society, wipe the slate clean… start anew._

"Calm yourself, Hagrid." Dumbledore said sharply before gazing steadily at Lucius "If the governors want my removal, Lucius, I shall of course step aside." He said smoothly.

"But…" Fudge stuttered.

"NO." Hagrid growled.

Dumbledore ignored them and spoke very slowly and clearly, and it was then that Harmony knew he knew they were here, damn, she'd only Psi-cloaked herself and not the boys, so Dumbledore wanted them to hear his next words "However, you will find that I will only _truly _have left this school when none here are loyal to me. You will also find that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." His eyes flicked toward their corner for a moment and Harmony's jaw dropped suddenly.

The epiphany hit her like a battleship ramming her in the head (sans the shattered bones, shredded flesh, and sudden death parts of such an impact). _Crap, I should have thought of this way earlier, Harry, Ron, and I… Hermione too, we're just chess pieces. Dumbledore knew Harry would go after the Stone, which he was using to bait Voldemort, so he made the teachers make their traps manageable. He let Harry face Voldemort while he was weak so that later he can use the weapon he's planning for Harry to be to defeat Voldemort for good. Damn, he's going to be a barrier in breaking the cycle of Dark Lords with how he's been too busy trying to get the Wizengamot to compromise the past few years and not throwing his support into the hard line against pureblood supremacy. Curse you Dumbledore, curse you… Why though, why didn't he become Minister and press for change after he defeated Grindelwald? Could it be something in his past? I need more information to work with…_

"Admirable sentiments." Malfoy bowed in what Harmony could swear was a gloating fashion "We shall all miss your… er… highly individual way of running things, Albus, and only hope that your successor will manage to prevent any, ah, _killins._" He glanced disdainfully at Hagrid at that, then moved over to the cabin door, opening it and bowing Dumbledore out.

Fudge was still fiddling with his bowler and seemed to be waiting for Hagrid to go ahead of him, but Hagrid stood his ground, took a deep breath, and said slowly "If anyone wanted ter find out some _stuff, _all they'd have ter do would be ter follow the _spiders. _That'd lead 'em right! That's all I'm sayin'." Fudge just stared at him in shock. Apparently the minister was too stupid to even contemplating following Hagrid's… advice, if you could call it that. "All right, I'm comin'…" He pulled his moleskin overcoat on, saying loudly as he was about to follow Fudge through the door "An' someone'll need ter feed Fang while I'm away."

After the door shut with a bang, Ron pulled the Invisibility Cloak off of the three of them, moaning in dismay. "We're in trouble now. No Dumbledore. They might as well close the school tonight. There'll be an attack a day with him gone." _Agreed, this is a disaster at its finest, the Op of keeping Hogwarts running so that I can get my damned psychic education has been compromised, badly compromised._

Fang started howling mournfully, scratching at the closed door. Harmony said nothing, mulling over this operational catastrophe. Satellite photos wouldn't be any good in tracking spiders unless they were Acromantulas… ah fuck, might as well tell the boys what she'd figured out long ago. "Guys, Hagrid's pet monster fifty years ago… it was an Acromantula, a gigantic, sentient, speech-capable spider, I saw the legs and the low-slung, hairy body in the Diary, it couldn't have been anything else if Hagrid's asking us to follow the spiders to get answers. It definitely knows some stuff about the Chamber of Secrets and the monster within. The problem is that there are very few monsters that I can even think of that would terrify an Acromantula." Ron gulped audibly, clearly terrified of the very idea of such spiders. Harry didn't look too happy either. Harmony on the other hand was considering asking her mum for a pair of attack choppers in addition to the one she was already assigned, which was parked at a nearby outpost, to support the extraction she suspected they'd need to make from the Acromantula nest, since Hagrid had a bad habit of underestimating the danger level of his animal friends.

* * *

A/N: Think it's more impressive if Ron knows what he's walking into but does it anyway after looking at Hermione's empty seat for a couple minutes. I suspect if Hermione ever learnt of this later on he would be in for some pretty nice…surprises, and no, food is not involved as Hermione appears to be every bit as terrible at cooking as her Aunt (Harmony doesn't understand how this can be as she can cook fairly well), while Ron learnt well from his mother. Unfortunately, when she edited herself out of her memoirs to publish under her pen-name of J.K. Rowling, Harmony accidentally was cornered into turning him into an asshole.

Hogwarts psychic background energy might interfere with vacuum tubes (old electronics), but it can't affect electron flow or microchips, otherwise lightning near the grounds would be impossible, not to mention most biological reactions, including the electron transport chain in mitochondria that keeps people and things ALIVE.

REVIEW!


	9. Spider, Basilisk and Wardrobe

A/N: It doesn't make any sense for a pair of dentists to not pull their daughter out of the Wizarding World after the injuries Hermione took at the Ministry in fifth year. So, the logical conclusion is that they weren't dentists, at least, not really.

How do these general labels sound: Harry the Naïve, Hermione the Advanced, Ron the Perseverant, and Harmony the Janitor?

LINK FROM CHAPTER 7 HAS BEEN FIXED, WILL WORK NOW AFTER YOU DELETE SOME PARTS… the new link-screening protocols of FFN are SO annoying…

I know the chapter name completely fails at referencing The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, don't remind me.

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Chapter 9: The Spider, The Basilisk and The Wardrobe

Harmony was rather ticked off by the fact that visitors had been, at least without direct authorization from another teacher, banned from the Hospital Wing after Dumbledore's suspension. "We're taking no more chances." Madam Pomfrey had told them through a crack in the infirmary door "No, I'm sorry, there's every chance the attacker might come back to finish these people off…"

Harmony was also rather surprised at how Ron had tried to set up his studying materials outside the infirmary one day only to be forcibly removed by Professor Vector, who taught Arithmancy and sometimes, when he seemed more haggard and stressed, helped or substituted for Flitwick in Charms. She had ordered and escorted him back to Gryffindor Tower despite the boy's complaints that it was "only for a few hours". Harmony had long ago made a mental note to find out how Flitwick was teaching multiple classes at once on a daily basis, to no success so far, although (a not exactly correct) realization DID slap her in the face like a large, wet fish the next year…

As for how much of their past year happened due to Dumbledore's manipulations, she still wasn't sure, well, at least she knew it was supposed to be bait, and had a feeling Dumb-odour had slipped some Veritaserum in Hagrid's drink before he went to the Hog's Hear the day Quirrell-Voldemort was there… but she was almost sure that Hagrid wouldn't have listened to Dumbledore with regards to leaving the Daily Prophet article on the Gringotts' break-in on his table overnight. It had been a simple situation update, not like it was the original article laid there for a whole month, so it wasn't unreasonable that Hagrid would have decided not to throw it out yet. Poor Hagrid, another pawn in Dumbledore's game, probably his half-giant heritage indebted him to Dumbledore first for persuading Dippet to let him come to school and then for getting him the gamekeepers' job after he was expelled. _Old men scheme against each other while forcing the young to fight, bleed and die for their own greed…so it has been for ages past, so it is now._ she thought bitterly.

Speaking of Dumbledore, his absence allowed terror to run rampant in the castle, the dream of any proper terrorist and the worst result possible in the current scenario, in Harmony's opinion at least. Almost no one in the school looked relaxed these days, mostly appearing to be tense and worried. What little laughter there was sounded screechy and unnatural and was quickly stifled. When she brushed against Harry's mind—strangely it seemed to recognize and accept her since it was getting easier as time went on, more than the improvements that came naturally with practice—she found him mulling over Dumbledore's final words a lot. He was also thinking over Hagrid's hint, but the problem was that even Harmony failed to spot any spiders in the castle. Ron helped Harry and her in this endeavour, however reluctantly as he had arachnophobia… The fact that they weren't allowed to wander on their own anymore was mot helping in the least in this respect, or practically any other respect.

Draco Malfoy seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the air of fear in the castle though, but it turned out that he was more pleased about Dumb-odour (another of Harmony's names for the old goat) being gone, as proven in Potions one day. Potions for second years had more periods per week than for first-years, so there were no free periods anymore… "I always thought Father might be the one who got rid of Dumbledore." He told Crabbe and Goyle loudly, gloatingly "I told you he thinks Dumbledore's the worst headmaster the school's ever had. Maybe we'll get a decent headmaster now. Someone who won't _want _the Chamber of Secrets closed. McGonagall won't last long, she's only filling in…"

_Wonder what McGonagall would have said if she was here…_ Harmony thought idly as she added more ingredients, an empty seat next to her marking Hermione's continued petrifaction. _If I could still have access to Hermione, perhaps I can figure out how the physical, or psychic, mechanism of petrifaction… why don't petrified people require food or produce wastes? Are they aware or are they in complete stasis? So many questions, so little data…_

"Sir… Sir, why don't _you _apply for the headmaster's job?" _Such obvious brown-nosing… feel sorry for Snape, almost, or at least his anus, which is being violated so often by Malfoy's nose._ Harmony mentally snickered.

"Now, now, Malfoy," Snape apparently just couldn't suppress a small smile "Professor Dumbledore has only been suspended by the governors. I daresay he'll be back with us soon enough."

"Yeah, right…" Malfoy snorted, smirking widely "I expect you'd have Father's vote, sir, if you wanted to apply for the job. _I'll _tell Father you're the best teacher here, sir…" Harmony groaned internally as she stirred her potion _Kid's got to learn to be a bit more subtle…_ This applied to both Malfoy's brown-nosing and Seamus's pretending to vomit into his cauldron.

"I'm quite surprised the Mudbloods haven't all packed their bags by now. Bet you five Galleons the next one dies. Pity it wasn't Granger…"

Ron was lucky the bell chose to ring at that moment, because at those words of Malfoy's he'd jumped up from his stool and was attempting to reach Malfoy. Harry and Dean grabbed onto his arms to hold him back, which meant Harmony didn't have to. "Let me at him!" He growled at the other two boys "I don't care, I don't need my wand, I'm going to kill him with my bare hands—"

"Hurry up, I've got to take you all to your next classes." Snape barked at them. And off they went, the Slytherins being dropped off along the way to Herbology. Only after they were out of the castle and they were crossing the vegetable patches toward the greenhouses did Dean and Harry let Ron go.

In Herbology, not much happened and Harmony was on top of everyone else as usual. Ernie Macmillan apologized to Harry for ever suspecting him, and voiced suspicions that Draco might be the Heir of Slytherin. Ron didn't seem to have forgiven Ernie as easily as Harry, which Harmony approved of, it was better to show others that there were consequences to turning on you, or they'd be more inclined to turn on you whenever it suited them. Of course, the consequences couldn't be _too_ harsh or people wouldn't start trusting you in the first place, believing you to be aligned with whatever faction would most negatively affect them. It was nice to overhear Harry setting Ernie right on his Malfoy suspicions, once Ernie and his friend Hannah Abbott came over to work with Harry and Ron at their table.

Harmony usually worked with Hermione since Sprout noticed others had a tendency to free-ride off their sheer competence, but every once in a while they worked together with Harry and Ron, the only two they were certain wouldn't free-ride… too much. She noticed something while working on their latest botanical specimens—pruning was quite an easy job despite the mass of the shears, since she'd worked with wire-cutters on razor wire before, and those were significantly harder to shear through—a few spiders scuttling over the ground on the other side of the glass, moving in an atypically straight line over the dirt as if taking the shortest route from point A to point B. She reached over and poked Harry's bum (she had been going for his head, but Ernie and Hannah had just turned around so she had to be discreet…) before pointing to the spiders with the same finger, and Harry hit Ron's hand with his shears.

"_Ouch_! What're you—" Harry pointed at the spiders and Ron went quiet.

"Oh, yeah…" Ron grimaced "But we can't follow them now…"

Ernie and Hannah were both listening and Harmony was tempted to whack the boys over the head for being so indiscreet "Looks like they're heading for the Forbidden Forest…" Harry murmured before returning to work. Ron's grimace grew deeper at that note.

"We'll have to use the Invisibility Cloak again." Harry muttered as they walked behind Sprout, at the back of the pack, as she escorted the class to their Defence Against the Dark Arts class. "We can take Fang with us. He's used to going into the forest with Hagrid, he might be some help."

"Right…" Ron was twirling his broken wand nervously in his long fingers as they took their usual places at the back of Lockhart's room "Er… aren't there… aren't there supposed to be werewolves in the forest?"

Harry decided to try to alleviate Ron's concerns "There are good things in there, too. The centaurs are all right, and the unicorns…"

Ron had never entered the Forest before. Harry and Harmony had entered once. The boy never wanted to go again. The girl was apathetic since with adequate fire support, anything was possible. Well, she really wished she could employ her firepower to permanently take off Lockhart's exuberant expression as he bounded into the room and waved grandly at them, but that was inadvisable, getting away with it easily these days on the other hand was exceedingly improbable. "Come now, why all these long faces?" People glanced at each other and more than a few eyes ticked, but no one deigned to reply to a talking piece of trash "Don't you people realize…" he spoke slowly as if they were all stupid "the danger has passed! The culprit has been taken away—"

"Says who?" Dean Thomas questioned loudly. Harmony stiffened in sudden realization that it was time for a showdown against a teacher, otherwise no one would respect her leadership when it was time to rally them to revolution.

Lockhart used a tone akin to explaining that one plus one equalled two (Harmony would like to point out that this was not true in binary, only in trinary or larger systems) "My dear young man, the Minister of Magic wouldn't have taken Hagrid if he hadn't been one hundred percent sure that he was guilty."

"Oh, yes he would." Ron replied, even louder than Dean.

"I flatter myself I know a _touch _more about Hagrid's arrest than you do, Mr. Weasley." Lockhart stated arrogantly.

"HA!" Harmony barked even louder than Ron's words as she kicked him under the table and Harry explained to him that they weren't there. "You were not there when Fudge went to Hagrid's hut, I saw you in the castle you liar!" She felt the looks of respect her classmates were giving her for saying that to Lockhart's face, well, more respect than she got as the Boy-Who-Lived's alpha sidekick…

Lockhart ignored her and continually made hints throughout the lesson that he always thought Hagrid was no good. He acted confidently enough about the whole business being at an end that Harry wanted to throw a book at Lockhart's face. Instead he scrawled a note to Harmony and Ron that read "_Let's do it tonight_".

Ron read the message and swallowed hard, looking sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione. The sight seemed to stiffen his resolve and he nodded, then nodded again with more confidence as he kept staring at the empty seat.

The common room didn't empty until around one AM, as after six PM the Gryffindors were all stuck inside with nowhere else to go and a lot of stuff to talk about. They ventured out on another difficult journey through the castle, dodging all the teachers. After reaching the Entrance Hall, they slid back the lock on the oak front doors, squeezed between them—this was more difficult for Harmony with body armour on top of certain…protrusions…than it was for the boys—and stepped out onto the grounds.

"'Course, we might get to the forest and find there's nothing to follow. Those spiders might not've been going there at all. I know it looked like they were moving in that sort of general direction, but…" Ron muttered hopefully as he ran his fingers over the microphone set tucked and pinned under the collar of his robes by Harmony earlier. He hadn't questioned her request to put it on so that she could listen in on them, just mumbled something about wondering what spells it used, the silly boy…

Fang, who Harmony had fed every day a la Cloak and borrowing Harry's broom (to get out of the tower), greeted them with barks and tail-wagging. Harry hastily fed him some treacle toffee from a tin on the counter to shut him up, this successfully cemented his jaws together. He left the Invisibility Cloak on Hagrid's table and called Fang "C'mon, Fang, we're going for a walk."

The boys had began to head out before Harmony spoke "I'm coming only under the Cloak, boys."

"But we don't need it, the forest is too dark for it to be useful anyways…" Harry said.

"Yeah well I'm bringing it anyways." Her tone brooked no argument as she ghosted along behind them, training setting in as much as possible and her elevated visual acuity coming into real play in the dark forest they entered.

"Okay…" Harry said slowly before taking out his wand and muttering "_Lumos_!" a light appeared at the end of it, just enough to let the boys watch the path for spiders. Harmony used her SMG, which she'd removed from under her robes, taken the lock off of, and toggled from safety to semiautomatic fire, to occlude the psychic-fuelled light source from her sight since it was not good for her night vision.

"Good thinking." Ron said "I'd light mine, too, but you know… it'd probably blow up or something…" Harry tapped his shoulder and pointed at the grass. Two spiders were scurrying away from the light into the forest. Ron sighed resignedly "Okay, I'm ready. Let's go." In the meantime, Harmony activated her radio, which should be clearly detectable to the unmanned aerial vehicle patrolling a mere kilometre above the forest. When she tapped certain call buttons on her transmitter, it would be an attack order for the assault choppers currently on standby above the forest canopy.

With Fang scampering around them, sniffing at tree roots and leaves, they entered the Forest. They followed the steady trickle of spiders along the path for about twenty minutes before veering off the path into the thicker, wilder parts of the woods. Fang's nose brushed Harry's hand and he jumped noisily, stepping on Ron's foot.

"What d'you reckon?" He asked Ron for his opinion of going off the path.

"What's the point of doing this if we don't get any answers? I have support on standby by the way, in case we run into trouble." Harmony spoke softly, the boys jumped, it seemed that after gliding silently after them for twenty minutes, they'd forgotten she was there.

"We've come this far…" Ron agreed.

The boys couldn't move very quickly nor at all quietly, but Harmony had no problem getting through the tree roots and stumps in their way, barely visible to them but well within visibility to her enhanced rod cells and almost completely open-able irises. Ancestor Kane had said that the eyesight of senior members of the Old Families tended to display incomplete dominance if they had the relevant alleles, but it was closer to dominant than to half-and-half. More than once, they had to stop until Harmony pulled Harry's arm along so that Harry didn't need to crouch down to find the spiders in his wandlight.

After about half an hour of the boys stumbling through the forest—Harmony had arranged for two new choppers so that they could swap stations with her usual chopper after a while if need be to refuel—they noticed the ground was sloping downward. Harmony knew topographical maps had revealed a significantly-sized depression a few klicks into the Forest, but she didn't have the latest aerial photos yet, just old ones that revealed a pale splotch in the middle of the depression…

Fang suddenly barked, making Harry and Ron jump while Harmony snapped her SMG up and pulled out her radio, ready to call for fire support.

"What?" Ron said loudly. Harmony shrank into the distance, backtracking five meters along the way they came before settling in ready position with the SMG braced against her shoulder. Tapping the radio button she'd pre-arranged to give her an environment report, she waited for the choppers to respond.

"There's something moving over there. Listen… sounds like something big"

"… rectangular thermal signature moving near your location, ma'am. Several ellipsoid signatures inbound toward your location from the direction you were headed in." The something big was snapping branches as it carved a path around the trees, and Harmony backtracked another five meters, registering that it sounded like a car engine. _Of course, Mr. Weasley's car…_

"Oh, no… Oh, no, oh, no, oh—" Ron was muttering.

"Shut up! It'll hear you!" Harry hissed at Ron.

"Hear _me_? It's already heard Fang!" Ron's voice seemed unusually high-pitched. There was a soft rumbling and then silence as the boys stood still in shock.

"What d'you think it's doing?" Harry whispered. Harmony only heard him with how unnaturally quiet the Forest was.

"Probably getting ready to pounce…" Ron replied.

"Do you think it's gone?" Harry asked after a few moments.

"Dunno…" From their right came a blaze of light that made Harmony's irises contract hard and the hyper-polarization defences of her rod cells kick in. It was… it was the car alright, as she'd expected. Both boys flung their hands up to shield their eyes, while Fang yelped, trying to run, but getting stuck in a tangle of thorns and yelping even louder.

"Harry! Harry, it's our car!" Ron realized it first.

"_What?_" Harry sounded disbelieving. They stumbled and tripped toward the light, Harmony travelling parallel to the boys, staying away from the approach vector of the possible hostiles as per reports from her helmet earpiece. The turquoise Ford Anglia 105E was standing empty in the middle of a clearing, under a roof of dense branches. Its headlights were on, and Harmony suspected it was tapping the ambient magical energy to maintain power supply and a mind of its own. It moved slowly toward the approaching boys like a large turquoise dog greetings its owner.

"It's been here all the time! Look at it! The forest's turned it wild…" Ron walked around the car, inspected its scratches and mud stains. Fang kept close to Harry, quivering. Harry stuffed his wand back into his robes stupidly after calming down. "And we thought it was going to attack us! I wondered where it had gone!"

"Thermal signatures entering your friends' clearing." Sounded softly in Harmony's earpiece just as the Acromantulas arrived, their bodies a full meter and a half across and high, held two meters off the ground by their long, hairy legs. She hoped they wouldn't catch her scent, as she was downwind at the moment, or she'd need to blast her way out by calling for chaingun and missile support from the choppers overhead before rappelling up to one of the helicopters.

Harry was still squinting around on the lit ground for more spiders, but they'd all moved out of the glare of the headlights "We've lost the trail. C'mon, let's go and find them." Ron was silent with terror, staring at the Acromantula right behind Harry. The dark-haired boy didn't even have time to turn around before there was a loud click of the huge spider's chelicerae and it grabbed him with its first pair of legs. Ron was grabbed by another spider and Fang, whimpering and howling, was seized too before the spiders swept away into the dark trees.

Harmony approached the car next, after the choppers reported all clear. She patted its hood only for it to jerk back nervously, its wheels turning this way and that as if looking around for the source of the contact. She took off the visual-spectrum (but apparently not IR-capable) cloak to reveal herself and showed it to the car before tucking it into her bag "So, are you willing to help go save Ron and Harry from being eaten by those giant spiders?" The driver's door opened in response after a few moments of deliberation, almost whacking Harmony's elbow when it did. She turned her radio on to active transmission instead of just passive reception "So, where are the Acromantulas headed? I've just gotten into a car that's turned wild, don't worry about me. Do you copy?"

"We copy, They're headed toward the White Hollow, ma'am… Acromantula… you mean some sort of giant spider, ma'am? Those are some pretty big thermal signatures I'm seeing…" The chopper pilot sounded worried "A car gone wild? They weren't kidding when they told us this was a psychics' school…" he muttered the last part quietly.

"Yes, giant spiders, soldier, and yes this is a psychics' school, that's why you're being paid extra to maintain secrecy about it. The White Hollow… lowest point of the depression… has to be spider silk covering the ground, no other explanation. Use night vision gear to aim, not thermal, if you have to start shooting. Anything holding onto the boys, I'll take care of, unless I'm not nearby or haven't done so as of ten seconds into the bombardment. Wait for my specific order before beginning any bombardment, and hash out who gets which zones to blast before the boys get to the Hollow, do you copy?"

"Yes ma'am, copy that." They didn't bother with call signs as there was no need to do so here with only Harmony on the ground and a couple aircraft at the most overhead, it would just take up valuable time in the surface-to-air transmissions. However, call signs WERE used for the two chopper crew to talk to each other.

Harmony told the car to head to the edge of the "area with lots of spiders, but don't let them see us or smell us." The car did as instructed, though it took some time, and Harmony listened in on the boys in the meantime through the collar microphones. The car and her arrived at a position downwind of the colony, from where they could charge down into the hollow if need be, and she raised an eyebrow at the colony of Acromantula. The boys were speaking with the leader, who had ordered their deaths until they mentioned Hagrid, then it spent some time talking to them. Aragog seemed concerned about Hagrid's well-being, and when Harry explained how Hagrid had been taken away, Aragog said that they had thought him to be the monster of the Chamber. He explained how Hagrid had hatched and cared for him, then protected him and found him a mate. Harmony mentally facepalmed, Hagrid really needed to learn some more sense…

Aragog refused to speak of the "ancient creature which spiders fear above all others". _Basilisk, only option I can think of at the moment…_ Harmony's mind chimed. But as soon as Aragog said "I think not…" to Harry's call about going, Harmony spoke to the car.

"I think it's time to go rescue the boys." The engine started up in response. There was a moment of rumbling before "Oh, you want me to do the honours." She floored it as she said it.

The car tooted its own horn very loudly as it thundered down the slope, knocking spiders aside—those too slow to evade it completely—using to a degree the Aristotelian physics that psychics seemed to prefer. It screeched to a halt in front of Harry and Ron, the tires making skid marks on the spider-silk, throwing its left side doors open (Harmony still disliked UK vehicle construction, by the way). Before the spiders could completely recover from the shock and storm what seemed to have been Aragog's personal area of the lair, Ron threw Fang in before clamouring in the rear door and Harry threw himself in the front door. The doors slammed shut as soon as they were in and the car was off, throwing everyone back in their seats. Harmony contemplated trying out drive-by shooting, then opted against it as they might be able to mobilize the Acromantulas for use later on during the revolution if they kept things _relatively_ friendly.

They crashed their way thorough the forest, manoeuvring around tight corners and through tight spaces, the car's right-side mirror snapping off as they squeezed past a large oak tree. "You guys alright? Didn't get bitten or anything, right?" She asked as she kept her head down as much as possible in near-brace position, in case the car made a navigational error. Fang was howling loudly in the back seat.

"No, I'm okay… Are you okay?" Harry had turned to look at Ron, and Harmony did too. Ron's mouth was wide open in a silent scream, but his eyes had ceased popping compared to what Harmony had seen when she was watching the boys speak to Aragog through the binoculars she had with her.

It took about ten minutes before Harry was nearly thrown into the windshield as the car stopped. Harmony, who had been wearing her seatbelt, had to strain against it to grab him around the waist with her right arm and cushion his impact on the dashboard with the back of her left glove. It was rather difficult as she had to cross her arms over each other despite the seatbelt restraining her, but she heard Ron grunt and looked back after they stopped to see that the redhead had caught himself with his hands. Fang had also caught himself with his forepaws and was now scratching at the window, still howling pathetically. He almost bowled Ron over in his haste to escape the car when Ron flung his door open and threw himself out on all fours, crawling a few pitiful meters before emptying his stomach onto the mud of the pumpkin patch. Harmony radioed the dismissal signal, by mashing the relevant button, three times in a row to send the choppers back to the SI outpost

Harmony and Harry gave the car grateful pats before it did a three-point turn and trundled back off into the forest. Harmony poked her head into the hut to check on Fang, finding him trembling under a blanket in his basket. When she came back out, she found Ron pulling himself up with the fence of the pumpkin patch, still dry heaving every few seconds, still stiff-necked, and _still_ staring off into nothingness. Harmony waved her hand in front of his face, not actually believing it would work to snap him out of it. Much to her surprise Ron jumped in shock, shook his head as if to clear it, and spoke weakly "Follow the spiders… I'll never forgive Hagrid. We're lucky to be alive." He wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"I bet he thought Aragog wouldn't hurt friends of his." Harry said.

Ron thumped the wall of the cabin "That's exactly Hagrid's problem! He always thinks monsters aren't as bad as they're made out, and look where it's got him! A cell in Azkaban!" He was trembling spastically now "What was the point of sending us in there? What have we found out, I'd like to know?"

"That Hagrid never opened the Chamber of Secrets." Harmony told them, throwing the cloak over them and yanking their arms to make them walk "He was innocent."

Ron's loud snort made it clear that hatching Aragog in a cupboard wasn't his idea of innocence.

They didn't take long to get to the common room, while removing the microphones from the boys, Harmony commented "you know, Aragog said the girl died in a bathroom. I think we should go talk to Moaning Myrtle, her clothes are about right for a Muggleborn of that era." Both boys gaped at her, comprehension dawning on their faces. "Well, good night boys, try to get some sleep will you, don't angst too much about it, it's just another mission objective, nothing special." She wasn't surprised when the boys looked at her as if she was completely insane.

* * *

"All those times we were in that bathroom, and she was just three toilets away, and we could've asked her, and now…" Ron was mumbling bitterly at breakfast the next morning. Apparently the boys thought it would be difficult to escape the teachers long enough to get into the bathroom in question, Harmony found _that_ idea laughable.

On the other hand, the announcement McGonagall gave in Transfiguration bordered more on the nasty surprise end of the spectrum than laughable, well, for most people it did, people who didn't have near-eidetic memory and elevated processing speeds. Seamus Finnigan voiced—or rather, _howled_—the public opinion rather eloquently when ten minutes into the class Professor McGonagall announced that exams would start on June First, a week from that day (Tuesday May 25, 1993). "_EXAMS?_ We're still getting _exams_?"

Neville Longbottom's desk fell over with a bang as his wand slipped and vanished one of its legs (he was leaning on it, which started the fall as it overbalanced). McGonagall put it back onto its remaining legs and fixed it with a wave of her wand before frowning at Seamus "The whole point of keeping the school open at this time is for you to receive your education. The exams will therefore take place as usual, and I trust you are all studying hard."

From Harry's stunned expression, he'd clearly not expected there to be exams. Ron looked surprised too, but less unhappy than Harry, probably since he had spent so much time reading to keep up even vaguely with Hermione that he wasn't in as much trouble from not reviewing. Most of the class, judging by their mutinous mutterings, were not impressed by the exams being sprung on them in this completely unexpected fashion. Professor McGonagall scowled harder at the unrest "Professor Dumbledore's instructions were to keep the school running as normally as possible, and that, I need hardly point out, means finding out how much you have learned this year."

Harry stared glumly at the pair of white rabbits he was supposed to be turning into slippers and then looked over at the pair Harmony was working with, which she was making alternate between being rabbits and being slippers every few moments. She noticed him looking and stopped, leaving the pair of fluff-free black slippers sitting on the desk where the fluffy white bunnies had begun, trying to make him feel a little better. For obvious reasons, it didn't work very well.

Ron's expression was of abject horror as he held up his broken wand, now whistling loudly using the Psionic energy it had been tapping from him. "Can you imagine me taking exams with this?"

* * *

However, three days before the first exam, the crap hit the fan. McGonagall started the dominoes falling with an announcement at breakfast "I have good news."

The Great Hall Erupted with hypotheses "Dumbledore's coming back!" "You've caught the Heir of Slytherin!" were the most popular, although "Quidditch matches are back on!" was shouted courtesy of Oliver Wood…

When the frothing crowd simmered down, McGonagall continued "Professor Sprout has informed me that the Mandrakes are ready for cutting at last. Tonight, we will be able to revive those people who have been Petrified. I need hardly remind you all that one of them may well be able to tell us who, or what, attacked them. I am hopeful that this dreadful year will end with our catching the culprit."

There was a great deal of cheering, though Draco Malfoy was not included, nor was about half of Slytherin House. Ron looked very happy at the news "It won't matter that we never asked Myrtle, then! Hermione'll probably have all the answers when they wake her up! Mind you, she'll go crazy when she finds out we've got exams in three days' time. She hasn't studied. It might be kinder to leave her where she is till they're over." Harmony smacked the back of his head gently for that, so Ron's face didn't end up in his porridge bowl, but he still facepalmed after realizing he was being an idiot _again_. Just then, Ginny Weasley came over and sat next to Ron, looking tense and nervous, wringing her hands in her lap. "What's up?" Ron asked, ladling himself some more porridge.

Ginny said nothing, glancing up and down the Gryffindor table with an expression of apprehension. Harmony thought that someone from Harry's memories had acted like Ginny was acting now, but she couldn't recall who. "Spit it out." Ron told her. Harmony and Harry both seemed to realize at the same time that Ginny looked like Dobby did when on the edge of revealing classified information. Harmony noticed Harry's eyes widening while forcibly suppressing her own surprised reaction and focusing herself.

"I've got to tell you something." Ginny said.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

Ginny bit her bottom lip as if unsure what to say. Ron pressed with "_What_?"

She opened her mouth, but no sound came out, so Harmony leaned closer and asked "Is it something about the Chamber of Secrets? Have you seen something? Someone acting oddly?" At the same time, she extended a gentle probe toward Ginny's mind, at least he surface thoughts and memories… and was violently repulsed.

Harry and Ron didn't notice since they too had jumped in their seats when Percy began talking from behind Ginny. "If you've finished eating, I'll take that seat, Ginny. I'm starving, I've only just come off patrol duty."

Ginny jumped up as if burned and ran away. Harmony, who was still recovering from the shock of being thrown back so hard, clenched her fists so tightly her knuckles were white. But it was Ron who berated Percy "Percy! She was just about to tell us something important!" _Yes, and I have a bad feeling that I know exactly what she was about to tell us, she's been behind this all year… how could I not have seen it? Ginny was talkative and happy when we met in Diagon Alley… well maybe not so much around Harry, but otherwise she was the same way on the train, then we just… drifted apart so quickly that it wasn't normal. I didn't pay enough attention, I didn't pay enough attention when she started distancing herself from me…_ She decided to keep this from Ron for the moment, in case she was wrong, which she highly doubted. It wasn't that important at the present time anyways, Ginny had probably hidden somewhere and with none of them knowing Ginny that well, they wouldn't find her before they would get caught by the teachers, or at least the boys would get caught.

Percy choked on his tea and splashed a bit on the tablecloth as he coughed and spluttered "What sort of thing?" He wheezed, narrowing his eyes at them.

"We just asked her if she'd seen anything odd, and she started to say—" Harry began, but was cut off.

"Oh, that… that's nothing to do with the Chamber of Secrets." Percy said too quickly to not be suspicious.

"How do you know?" Ron asked, his orange eyebrows raised.

"Well, er, if you must know, Ginny, er, walked in on me the other day when I was… well, never mind… the point is, she spotted me doing something and I, um, I asked her not to mention it to anybody. I must say, I did think she'd keep her word. It's nothing, really, I'd just rather—"

"What were you doing, Percy? Go on, tell us, we won't laugh." Obviously, Percy was more intelligent than Ron assumed, because he didn't tell him.

"Pass me those rolls, Harry, I'm starving." He said instead, just before he dropped one of the rolls onto his plate from his mouth when Harmony spoke up, still very angry that he'd caused Ginny to not confess no doubt critical information.

"Let me guess, you were making out with Penelope Clearwater and Ginny walked in on you." It all fit, Penelope coming out of the dungeons that day, Percy coming out of the room a bit later to avoid suspicion and possible to let his dick deflate… The shock Percy displayed when Penelope was petrified, it all sounded right. _Why didn't I realize this earlier?_

Ron and Harry stared while Percy turned red but didn't say anything. The boys looked back at her in amazement, taking the deep blush as a confession "How did you figure that out?"

"You guys don't need to know." She glared at them, trying to get the idea across that it had been one of their Denied Ops. Fortunately, the boys knew better than to press when she used that glare. "And don't tease Percy, it's his personal life." The older Weasley boy looked rather surprised by that…

* * *

"Mark my words, the first words out of those poor Petrified people's mouths will be '_It was Hagrid._' Frankly, I'm astounded Professor McGonagall thinks all these security measures are necessary." Harmony was only hearing Lockhart because he might let slip useful information, although that was about as probable as one plus one equalling null output. Given that this result was achievable with a computer by wrecking the computational software or hardware, that meant the only information he could leak that might be useful would require bashing in his mind first and then salvaging data, if there was any to be salvaged.

"I agree sir." Harry said, completely unexpectedly. Harmony caught the book Ron had dropped in surprise and shoved it back at him, suddenly realizing what Harry was trying to do.

"Thank you, Harry." Lockhart replied as they halted, waiting for a group of Hufflepuffs to pass. "I mean, we teachers have quite enough to be getting on with, without walking students to classes and standing guard all night." Interestingly, the walking to class idea presented the same sort of temporal dilemma associated with teaching multiple classes at once, and Harmony was almost convinced that wizard-kind was using some sort of time machine to achieve this, although the mechanism was not within her skill or knowledge range to hypothesize upon.

Ron caught on at that moment "That's right, why don't you leave us here, sir, we've only got one more corridor to go—" _Well great, I'm being dragged off on another errant venture… almost can't believe Lockhart was dumb enough to fall for that from Harry…_ Harmony thought with a small mental smirk, happy she'd taken up carrying her whole gun collection everywhere now.

"You know, Weasley, I think I will, I really should go and prepare my next class…" And so he hurried off.

Ron sneered as he rounded the corner out of view "Prepare his class… Gone to curl his hair, more like." After letting the rest of the Gryffindors draw ahead, they moved down a side passage and hurried toward Myrtle's bathroom, Harmony following under the cloak just in case fire support was needed.

"Potter! Weasley! What are you doing?"

"We were… we were…" Ron bit his lip. "We were going to see Hermione…" He looked down at the ground and threaded his fingers together in an almost shameful expression.

"We haven't seen her for ages, Professor, and we thought we'd sneak into the hospital wing, you know, and tell her the Mandrakes are nearly ready and, er, not to worry…" Harry added helpfully.

"Yeah…" Ron mumbled, not looking up.

McGonagall continued staring at them for a moment before speaking in a strangely croaky voice. "Of course… Of course, I realize this has all been hardest on the friends of those who have been… I quite understand. Yes, Potter, of course you may visit Miss Granger. I will inform Professor Binns and Madam Pomfrey of this. Confirm with her that I have given my permission…"

The boys rounded the corner that would lead them to the hospital wing with palpable airs of relief. Harmony, following at a slower pace, hung around long enough to observe McGonagall blowing her nose on a handkerchief before wiping her eyes and mumbling to herself "Well, Lockhart, I believe you owe me some of your swindled money… Weasley was too impatient to wait until Granger was restored to visit, even if it was only another day he'd have to wait." She sighed, obviously not feeling too happy about the bet she seemed to have made, but still happy to liberate some of the funds Lockhart had come across by being a fraud.

Harmony had found out about the teacher betting pools over future relationships and progression in the "Golden Square" back in October when going to the Library after hours with cloak and overhearing a rather noisy argument from the staff room. Said argument had centered upon Snape's insulting of Ron and Harry's EQ scores (Emotional Quotient, a counterpart to IQ). Well, it made sense, the staff needed to entertain themselves somehow and involving the students directly (i.e. setting off fighting between the Houses) would not be a good way to do so. However, Harmony knew full well that many people would be slack-jawed in the long run, since there was nothing between the two more prominent members of the Square, and everyone had bet on a timeframe in which they would eventually get together, with no one betting on "never".

"That… was the best story we've ever come up with." Ron murmured to Harry as Harmony caught up with them.

"Well guys, come on, it's to the Hospital Wing we go…" Harmony said, making the boys jump again before both nodded.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey let them in only reluctantly, telling them "There's just no _point _talking to a Petrified person." Well, she wasn't wrong, since when they sat next to Hermione she obviously didn't have the faintest inkling that she had visitors, and they might as well tell her bed frame not to worry for all that talking to her was doing.

"Wonder if she did see the attacker, though?" Ron was looking sadly at Hermione's rigid face "Because if he sneaked up on them all, no one'll ever know"

Harmony in the meantime had noticed Hermione's robes weren't fixed to her Petrified body, and her right arm had now been uncovered compared to previous visits. It must have taken Pomfrey some effort to get the sheets into the gap between her arm and body, well, with the low number of other accidents and illnesses in the school (no Quidditch plus super-cautious students), she had to pass her time somehow… She pulled the sleeve of her twin's robes and blinked, for sticking out of her twin's just-revealed loose fist was a small bit of old or wizarding paper (more yellow and dull than alum-treated muggle paper) sticking out. "What's this?"

After another surreptitious check for Madam Pomfrey, Harmony began trying to worm the paper out of her sister's grip. It was lucky it was a loose grip, otherwise she would have shredded the… _library book page?_ "What the hell? Well, I guess I'm not surprised but how the hell does it get around… oh, wow, the Hogwarts plumbing really needs clearing if a giant snake can cling to the walls like that with its scales…"

She smoothed it out completely and laid it flat on Hermione's bed so they could read it.

_Of the many fearsome beasts and monsters that roam our land, there is none more curious or more deadly than the Basilisk, known also as the King of Serpents. This snake, which may reach gigantic size and live many hundreds of years, is born from a chicken's egg, hatched beneath a toad. Its methods of killing are most wondrous, for aside from its deadly and venomous fangs, the Basilisk has a murderous stare, and all who are fixed with the beam of its eye shall suffer instant death. Spiders flee before the Basilisk, for it is their mortal enemy, and the Basilisk flees only from the crowing of the rooster, which is fatal to it._

Beneath this passage was written in Hermione's usual neat but extremely fast hand one word. _Pipes_.

"Ron, Harmony… This is it. This is the answer. The monster in the Chamber's a _basilisk_—a giant serpent! _That's _why I've been hearing that voice all over the place, and nobody else has heard it. It's because I understand Parseltongue—"

Harmony interrupted with a bit of scientific diatribe "This claim of hatching a basilisk in such a manner is utterly ridiculous. Ancestor Kane's very reliable briefing traces the lineage of the psychic-capable more-or-less-sapient species known as the Basilisk back to a genus of very large snakes that lived in the Paleocene epoch." Said genus would later be discovered and named _Titanoboa_, and through its line of descent to the species known as the Basilisk, it had only grown larger. "And rooster crows do NOT kill it, it's just a myth perpetrated by basilisk breeders to lure their targets into a false sense of security…"

By the time she got to "utterly ridiculous" Harry and Ron had tuned her out—oh the willing blindness of wizard-kind!—and Harry was saying "The basilisk kills people by looking at them. But no one's died because _no one looked it straight in the eye_. Colin saw it through his camera. The basilisk burned up all the film inside it, but Colin just got Petrified. Justin… Justin must've seen the basilisk through Nearly Headless Nick! Nick got the full blast of it, but he couldn't die _again_… and Hermione and that Ravenclaw prefect were found with a mirror next to them. Hermione had just realized the monster was a basilisk. I bet you anything she warned the first person she met to look around corners with a mirror first! And that girl pulled out her mirror… and—"

Ron nodded fervently "And Mrs. Norris… the water… The flood from Moaning Myrtle's

bathroom. I bet you Mrs. Norris only saw the reflection…"

Harry nodded, then continued, ignoring Harmony's glare for ignoring her speech "_The crowing of the rooster… is fatal to it_! Hagrid's roosters were killed! The Heir of Slytherin didn't want one anywhere near the castle once the Chamber was opened! _Spiders flee before it_! It all fits!"

"But how's the basilisk been getting around the place? A giant snake… Someone would've seen…"

Harry pointed to the word Hermione had put at the bottom of the page "Pipes… Pipes… Ron, it's been using the plumbing. I've been hearing that voice inside the walls"

"So that was what Harmony meant… I thought it was unlikely that there would be so many pipes in this place big enough to fit a Basilisk, wasn't this place built before indoor plumbing was common?" Ron asked with a frown.

"The Minoans had indoor plumbing more than two thousand years before Christ was born." Harmony stated simply "Wouldn't be surprised if the Romans brought it to this island and it never died out, unlike their unsustainable ultra-capitalist Republican-style Empire." Ron and Harry nodded slowly, unsure what the final words meant but getting the idea that indoor plumbing was around a lot earlier than they'd ever thought.

"First, assuming the plumbing's not cleaned enough and the Basilisk CAN in fact slither along it without slipping…" Ron gritted his teeth "The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets should be in a plumbing center if this school has one, or… a bathroom." His eyes widened at the epiphany "What if it's in…"

"Given the man a cookie! He's got it!" Harmony threw up her arms theatrically.

"—_Moaning Myrtle's bathroom_!" Harry concluded excitedly.

While Harry was sitting there in excitement, Ron was talking to Harmony "You know, I usually wouldn't mind a cookie, but no thanks. Besides, I'm not a man, if I was, Hermione wouldn't be there." He flicked his chin toward the hospital bed.

Harmony rolled her eyes _Yet another facet of Wizarding Society I will either have to restructure or annihilate and reconstruct from the ground up when time comes for a Red Revolution._ "You know, Ron, expect to be the protected and not the protector a lot if you want to make headway with my sister. She might not be a lunatic like me, but she's still stronger, faster _and_ smarter than the vast majority of humans alive today." Ron seemed a bit conflicted, but nodded in the end since he'd seen what Hermione was capable of first-hand and privately agreed with Harmony, although he still wished he'd been there to take the damage in Hermione's stead.

"This means" Their attention snapped back to Harry as he spoke again "I can't be the only Parselmouth in the school. The Heir of Slytherin's one, too. That's how he's been controlling the basilisk."

"She." Harmony corrected automatically. _Fucking hell that boy has a bad habit of making me talk without thinking._

"What?" Ron and Harry asked at the same time.

"Ginny is the one being possessed by the Diary, being the conduit for the Heir of Slytherin, there isn't another candidate, I'm sorry, Ron, but we know it has to be a Gryffindor, we know Ginny looked terrified when Harry dropped the diary on Valentine's Day. We know Ginny tried to tell us something important this morning and that it was far more than just Percy's dating choice. She has to be the one, there isn't another option. However, I am also certain that she is the victim being used by Tom, through the Diary. I'm also almost certain that diary has a soul fragment or at least an imprint in it."

The two boys gaped stupidly at her before Ron gulped and said in a small voice "I… I think you might be right, but…" he looked down at his lap, balled his fist, and punched his own cheek hard "What sort of a big brother am I? I didn't pay attention to Ginny all year and now…"

She smacked him "Calm down, Ron, don't blame yourself. It won't help Hermione and it won't help Ginny."

"You're right… What're we going to do? Should we go straight to McGonagall?" Ron's eyes flashed determinedly, knowing that he had to go save his sister as soon as possible.

"I doubt it, Harmony, I mean, Riddle was Head Boy for a reason, and I don't think it's because he was an evil murderer." Harry kept trying to see the best in everyone "Still, we need to tell the teachers where the Chamber is and what's inside it. Let's go to the staffroom. She'll be there in ten minutes. It's nearly break."

They ran there and hung around, the boys too excited to sit down and Harmony too amused by their operational-newbie behaviour to pace with them. However, the bell for break never came, instead, McGonagall came over the PA, magically amplified "_All students to return to their House dormitories at once. All teachers return to the staffroom. Immediately, please._"

"Not another attack? Not now?" Harry exclaimed. Harmony was scanning the large, panelled room for hiding spots since they'd be likely to get walked into if they just stood around under the Cloak.

"What'll we do? Go back to the dormitory?" Ron asked Harmony for tactical advice.

Harmony pointed to a large, ugly, and door-less wardrobe full of the teachers' cloaks that sat to their left "No, get in here and under the cloak. Let's hear what it's all about. Then we can tell them what we've found out." They shoved themselves inside it and pushed through into the second row of cloaks, Harmony draping the Invisibility Cloak over the three of them and muttering "If I see a lantern in the middle of a forest after coming in here, I am going to be fucking pissed at Aslan when I encounter him."

"What?" Neither Harry nor Ron got it, Harry because the Dursleys had a phobia of imagination and therefore fantasy novels, and Ron because the Chronicles of Narnia (some of the worst bullshit Harmony ever had the misfortune to read) were not among the books he'd read.

"Muggle book reference, now be quiet, and if anything absolutely needs to happen, I will act first, just follow my lead, got it boys?" She instructed, and they nodded. "Alright, let's listen…"

Hundreds of people rumbled overhead distantly—the castle's soundproofing sucked—and teachers began entering the staffroom. Some seemed puzzled, some scared and some grimly determined. Professor McGonagall arrived with the situational update "It has happened. A student has been taken by the monster. Right into the Chamber itself."

Flitwick squealed, Sprout clapped her hands over her mouth, and Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard and asked something that was on all their minds "How can you be sure?"

"The Heir of Slytherin left another message. Right underneath the first one. '_Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever._'"

Harmony grabbed hold of Ron, knowing he couldn't afford to faint or stumble with the teachers that close to the wardrobe. Madam Hooch, who, in addition to being the general Quidditch supervisor (more like riot police in Gryffindor vs. Slytherin games), coach and scheduler, also helped Kettleburn with Care of Magical Creatures when his limb count seemed inadequate for a task, spoke next from where she'd sunk, weak-kneed, into a chair. "Who is it? Which student?"

"Ginny Weasley." Ron tried to slid down, but Harmony's firm grip kept him from doing so and potentially making a noise with the cloak hangars possibly sliding over the metal support rod that they hung on even though they were one row back from the door-less front of the wardrobe. "We shall have to send all the students home tomorrow… This is the end of Hogwarts. Dumbledore always said…"

The staffroom door banged open again, and Harmony could tell from the grating, overly cheerful voice that came through, a voice she despised with every fibre of her being now, that it was Lockhart. "So sorry—dozed off—what have I missed?" Of course, she could also see it was him, but something about his jaunty tone of speech just made her hate him _so much_…

* * *

A/N: Well, it's almost over now, almost time to get on with SI Archives Parts 5 and 6. By the way, in the Animagus Poll, the Hydralisk won by a large margin.

**I WILL PUT THE FIRST CHAPTER OF "SUPCOM: BABYLONIA" UP ON DECEMBER 19**, two days before the so-called "Mayan Apocalypse". **I fully expect much feedback for it, even if the world does end.** I personally prefer to put faith in the Chinese calendar as per described in the beginning of _Journey To The West_, even though it too makes little sense overall (the time scales are quite off) and portrays a cyclic universe. Still, according to the traditional beliefs of a non-FAILURE of a civilization, we have at least 7 eras, each of 10,800 years, left before the Chinese Apocalypse, or rather dissolving into non-being waiting for the universe to recycle (basically, apocalypse for us). This is a much better idea to contemplate than the lack of foresight of a failed civilization and their inability to use a linear, infinite calendar, even though the ancient Chinese one is also cyclic.

REVIEW!


	10. Truths Finally Emerge

A/N: I just went on Harry Potter Wiki… and have concluded the actor they got for Cho is completely hideous. I couldn't bear seeing that photo for more than half a second before I closed the tab. My eyes will never be the same again… be warned that my characters will look significantly less ugly than film actors. When Cho Chang, in this timeline, saw her portrayal in the Harry Potter movies, after they came out (based on Harmony's modified memoirs i.e. the Harry Potter books), she was absolutely furious at how they chose a "hideous" actor for her.

Am glad that I have not been attacked by a mob of raging psychos who believe in the Mayan Apocalypse thing and who want to slay all non-believers.

* * *

Chapter 10: Truths Finally Emerge

Lockhart was apparently too stupid to notice the other teachers were glaring at him with eyes full of pure hatred. Snape stepped toward him first, growling lowly "Just the man… The very man. A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Taken into the Chamber of Secrets itself. Your moment has come at last." Lockhart went pale, and it was then that Harmony knew, he was going to make a run for it if they didn't catch him first to use as fresh meat to bait the Basilisk with.

"That's right, Gilderoy. Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?" Sprout lashed out at him.

"I… well, I…" Lockhart's jaw moved several times, but no more sounds came out.

"Yes, didn't you tell me you were sure you knew what was inside it?" Flitwick snarled.

"D-did I? I don't recall—" Harmony's eyes rolled, _well Hallelujah…_

"I certainly remember you saying you were sorry you hadn't had a crack at the monster before Hagrid was arrested." Snape smirked nastily "Didn't you say that the whole affair had been bungled, and that you should have been given a free rein from the first?"

He stared around at his furious colleagues, before croaking out weakly "I… I really never… you may have misunderstood—"

"We'll leave it to you, then, Gilderoy." McGonagall's lips were as thin as Harmony had ever seen them "Tonight will be an excellent time to do it. We'll make sure everyone's out of your way. You'll be able to tackle the monster all by yourself. A free rein at last."

Lockhart looked around desperately, but no one rose to support him, his lip trembled and he looked as Harmony had always thought he looked, stupid and feeble. "V… Very well, I'll… I'll be in my office, getting… getting ready." He stammered as he left the room.

After he left, McGonagall huffed deeply, nostrils flared "Right… that's got _him _out from under our feet. The Heads of Houses should go and inform their students what has happened. Tell them the Hogwarts Express will take them home first thing tomorrow. Will the rest of you please make sure no students have been left outside their dormitories."

The teachers rose numbly and left one by one at that. Harmony had to practically drag Harry and Ron back to Gryffindor Tower to make sure they weren't missed in the roll call. Yes, they had to go and save Ginny, but they couldn't do it right now… After the announcement and roll call was over, Harry, Ron, Fred, and George were silently moping in a corner of the Gryffindor Common Room. Percy had gone to send an owl to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, then shut himself up in his dormitory. That had been convenient…

However, Harmony had sadly taken until this time to realize that her own lack of a broom was extraordinarily inconvenient. She found herself in the unenviable position of realizing that they were going to have to share Harry's Nimbus 2000 among the three of them for their egression from Gryffindor Tower if they didn't want to get caught. That lasted until she finished preparing all her stuff—including two satchel charges each containing five kilograms of high explosives—and came downstairs only to find the two boys missing.

Surprisingly, the common room was empty—people seemed to have gone up to their rooms very early that day to escape the air of depression—and _the boys were missing_. She went up to their dorm room to find them gone, and concluded that they must have gone to the Chamber.

Sadly, it took some time for her to get to the Chamber entrance area, but there was no sign of the Chamber having been opened yet. _Where the hell are those stupid, impulsive boys?_ She thought as she closely observed the small snake carved on the side of a sink's drain pipe. _Oh… don't tell me they've… no, it can't be, can it? Fuck, they've gone to Lockhart… they'll be lucky to even have their memories by the time I get there to save them from that Memory Charm-abusing fraud, if my hypotheses are correct._

Since it was almost the summer solstice, it was still light outside when Harmony reached Lockhart's office to hear Harry shouting "You're the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher! You can't go now! Not with all the Dark stuff going on here!" The sheer level of stupidity exhibited by the boy just by saying that was just completely _mind-numbing_…

"Well… I must say… when I took the job…" The sounds of packing were obvious, particularly to anyone who knew what to listen for. "nothing in the job description… didn't expect…"

"You mean you're _running away_? After all that stuff you did in your books?" _Why do I bother helping this moron?_ Harmony wondered.

"Books can be misleading." Harmony snorted at Lockhart's words. _I hope Harry actually LEARNS something from this, but due to his HERO (__**H**__igh-to-__**E**__xtreme __**R**__ate of __**O**__afishness) Complex, I somehow doubt it._

"You wrote them!" _That demonstrates the fact that he's learnt nothing, unless he's disarmed Lockhart already, but since it doesn't sound like the man's being held at wand-point, probably not._

"My dear boy, do use your common sense. My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think _I'd _done all those things. No one wants to read about some ugly old Armenian warlock, even if he did save a village from werewolves. He'd look dreadful on the front cover. No dress sense at all. And the witch who banished the Bandon Banshee had a hairy chin. I mean, come on…" _You tell him, Lockhart? Tell him how the world works! I just hope he'll listen to you more than he listens to me._

"So you've just been taking credit for what a load of other people have done?" _Is Harry hard of hearing or just retarded? I can't tell anymore…_

"Harry, Harry… it's not nearly as simple as that. There was work involved. I had to track these people down. Ask them exactly how they managed to do what they did. Then I had to put a Memory Charm on them so they wouldn't remember doing it. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my Memory Charms. No, it's been a lot of work, Harry. It's not all book signings and publicity photos, you know. You want fame, you have to be prepared for a long hard slog." The lids of trunks banged shut and locking sounds came from them through the door to Harmony. "Let's see… I think that's everything. Yes. Only one thing left. Awfully sorry, boys, but I'll have to put a Memory Charm on you now. Can't have you blabbing my secrets all over the place." Harmony decided not to risk him finishing his monologue and kicked the door in as Lockhart continued, turning his head at the intrusion while holding his wand before him, perfect. "I'd never sell another boo—"

The Submachine gun she held kicked once, twice, three times against her shoulder as Harry began a spell which would have been far too slow to stop Lockhart before he could curse the boys "Expel—" Lockhart's wand, held before him, exploded into fragments due to bullet impacts and he cried out in pain as some of those fragments embedded themselves in his flesh. He was fortunate that Harmony decided he would make good live bait-meat for the Basilisk and didn't feel like carrying him, or he would have been a cooling corpse already. It was also lucky for Lockhart that his wand hadn't been in front of his chest, or he'd have died from the 10mm Full Metal Jacket rounds punching into his flesh after shattering his wand.

The spell Harry fired still hit Lockhart and evicted several of the wand fragments from his hand (_Interesting, perhaps a psychic push exerted out of the palm plus a sudden psychic-triggered nerve impulse opening of all the fingers is the systemic effect of that spell?_) while sending him toppling backward, tripping over his trunk and landing hard on the floor. "Shouldn't have let Professor Snape teach us that one, huh, you piece of shit." She advanced over his trunk, her submachine gun was still levelled at Lockhart's face, and one thing was certain: Lockhart would not be allowed to leak information on the advancements of Muggle weaponry to the Wizarding World.

"What d'you want me to do?" He asked feebly, eyeing what he seemed to think was a magical artefact (his mind was weak and soft and easy to get a general surface skimming of) with terror "I don't know where the Chamber of Secrets is. There's nothing I can do."

"You're in luck." Harry said, gesturing threateningly with his wand and thus forcing Lockhart to his feet at wand-point in addition to Harmony's gunpoint "We think _we _know where it is. _And _what's inside it. Let's go."

They marched him to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, moaning and clutching his hand, where the bleeding had stopped by the time they reached the bathroom. They shoved him in the open door first, and all three were pleased to see that Lockhart was shaking. Moaning Myrtle was sitting on the tank of the last toilet in the row when they found her. "Oh, it's you… What do you want this time?" She asked when she spotted them.

"To ask you how you died." Harmony said, flicking her eyes around the room every few seconds but always watching Lockhart out of at least her peripheral vision and never straying close enough that he could jump and grab her weapon.

Myrtle looked flattered and more than happy to answer "Ooooh, it was dreadful. It happened

right in here. I died in this very stall. I remember it so well. I'd hidden because Olive Hornby was teasing me about my glasses. The door was locked, and I was crying, and then I heard somebody come in. They said something funny. A different language, I think it must have been. Anyway, what really got me was that it was a _boy_ speaking. So I unlocked the door, to tell him to go and use his own toilet, and then…" She seemed to swell up proudly "I _died_."

"How?" Harry asked. Harmony mentally noted that there might be hope yet for him to gain sentience and stop being a total Noble Git.

Myrtle spoke in hushed tones "No idea, I just remember seeing a pair of great, big, yellow eyes. My whole body sort of seized up, and then I was floating away…" She smiled dreamily "And then I came back again. I was determined to haunt Olive Hornby, you see. Oh, she was sorry she'd ever laughed at my glasses."

Things seemed to clunk into place for Harmony, back in the Psychic Dominator Disaster, mind overloads typically caused the target's body to seize up before their brain activity went chaotic and they died as all central nervous system functionality collapsed. It was the second type of attack that psychic students were typically taught to defend against or at least resist (the first type of attack was a mental scan i.e. Legilimency). _Well, then, we don't know the overload beam's power level yet, so we don't know what life expectancy against it would be… but then why didn't Hermione die if the Basilisk looked at her again after she was petrified? Unless… it sounds rather far-fetched, but maybe it's a psychic self-defence mechanism to sequester oneself in a stasis field that psychic attacks cannot penetrate?_

"Where exactly did you see the eyes?" Harry asked while Harmony was thinking, snapping her back to reality.

"Somewhere there." Myrtle gestured toward the sink in front of her toilet.

The boys hurried over to it. Lockhart was standing well back with a look of utmost terror on his face. _Foolish boys, if they'd done this without me Lockhart would be desperate enough to ambush them while their backs were turned, run for it, or do something comparably stupid by now._ "I checked this place for you guys before going to Lockhart's office, there's a tiny snake pattern scratched on the side of the sink's drain pipe. I recommend use of Parseltongue to open it, it seems like something Slytherin would have used as a password."

"But…" His thoughts were being broadcast rather loudly to Harmony's senses, though she'd gotten used to it by now. He was thinking that the only times he'd used Parseltongue were when he was faced with a real snake. He stared hard at the engraving, trying to think of it as real, then said "Open up."

He looked at Ron, who shook his head "English."

Harry tried again, moving his head this time. Harmony definitely felt the Psionic waveform he put out this time as he hissed… The sink rumbled and retracted out of sight into the floor, leaving a pipe more than a meter in diameter exposed. Ron gasped and Harry looked up at him. "I'm going down there." He said.

"Me too." Ron said.

"I'm in." Harmony stated.

"Well, you hardly seem to need me, I'll just…" Lockhart said, trying for his old smile, but showing a touch of hysteria as Harry and Ron levelled their wands at him again.

"You will go first." Harmony said, motioning the man forward with a flick of her head, her gun still trained firmly on his chest. Pale and wandless, he approached the opening "Children… children, what good will it do?" Harmony jabbed him in the back with her gun barrel, Lockhart slid his legs into the pipe "I really don't think…" Harmony kicked him in the back and he slid out of sight. Harry followed immediately thereafter, lowering himself into the pipe and letting go.

"Call me when you reach the bottom." She told Ron as he too climbed in. He looked puzzled but then realized what Harry had been too stupid to realize—that something might have gone wrong with the pipe somewhere and it might not lead into the Chamber of Secrets or anywhere safe after all. He seemed to deliberate for a moment before nodding tensely and sliding out of sight. While she waited, Harmony noticed a door had appeared behind the second last toilet, reaching over the toilet and opening it revealed the top landing of a spiral staircase, probably the convenient way to get up if the Heir didn't want to ride the Basilisk or do something similar. She was sure there were other escape routes from the Chamber, but knowing there were stairs was good enough for her.

Less than a minute later, she heard a distant yell from Ron, sounding distorted and echo-y but still distinguishable as "It's safe!"

She had already safetied and locked her SMG and clipped it back on her chest, so all she had to do was climb in and slide down the tube. Hopefully, Slytherin's design wasn't picky on his Heir's weight or body structure for a successful descent…

It wasn't, although she could have done without the ungraceful tumble at the end. She was still up and at arms before anything much could happen, and in the grand scheme of things that was what mattered.

"We must be miles under the school…" Harry said.

"Not possible, the ride wasn't nearly long enough." Harmony told them as she ran the calculations in her head. _9.8 metres per second squared, times root-three over two, if I estimate the angle of descent to be sixty degrees, means about 8.5 metres per second squared acceleration along the tunnel, and we were only dropping through it for four seconds before the tunnel began to go flat. Even assuming it would have taken six seconds if the tunnel hadn't gone flat, since the vertical-g's weren't too huge on that flattening part of the tunnel, that's a length of 153 meters along the tunnel, multiplied by root-three over two again, yields 130 or so meters altitude drop and thus a lot of flight speed._ "I'm glad the horizontal stretch was so long and so relatively high-friction, or we'd be splats on that opposite wall with the speed we were going, even after falling a vertical distance of only about one hundred and thirty metres." She could be about thirty meters off either way easily, but still, it was quite a ways, but not nearly the miles Harry called it.

"What are metres?"

"Ugh, I hate the Imperial system for its stupid conversion increments between units… we are a bit over four hundred feet down, Ron. If the horizontal part hadn't been so long and slowed us down effectively, we would have shot out the end of the tunnel with the same speed as if we'd fallen straight down for about three hundred feet, accounting for friction on the way down and all." That was a very rough estimate, but it served to get the point across… perhaps even better with her smacking Harry in the side of the head "You stupid boy! Why didn't you wait for Lockhart to reach the bottom before you went? I know why, because you're a _fucking Noble Git_!" She was shaking for some reason, and it didn't seem to be out of anger so much as… well, might as well come out and tell him "You had me worried there until Ron shouted back that it was a safe drop!"

They were all covered in muck from the landings, and Lockhart was still being held at gunpoint by Harmony and wand-point by Harry. "Do you think we're under the lake?" He asked her. "Thanks for worrying by the way." She let out a small huff. _You moron, you're supposed to make there be no reason to worry outside of regular operational hazards the next time by not doing anything really stupid, not thank me for worrying!_

"Horizontal stretch was certainly long enough that it could be true, but I don't think so, the lake's deeper than the drop we just had, and the castle overlooks the lake, so unless this is an underwater chamber of some sort… no." Harmony assessed. "Helmets and shoulder pads boys, don't want to get hurt by falling rocks…" They put the protective gear on without complaint.

"Lumos!" Harry muttered, apparently the lighting from green crystals set into the walls didn't cut it for him… "Come on."

Off they went into the tunnel, which was rather dark but reasonably lit by the green crystals in the walls. At the very least, the floor was fairly smooth and the crystals told them where the walls were. That was enough for Harmony to get by with.

"Remember, any sign of movement, close your eyes right away." Harry said quietly.

"That's stupid, as long as you don't look it in the eyes, it shouldn't be able to fry your brain. How are we supposed to fight it without seeing it?" Harmony hissed at him, stepping over some rodent skeletons on the ground. Ron however wasn't so good at seeing things and stepped on a rat skull with a loud crunching noise that prompted Harmony to snap up her wand (the submachine gun only required one hand to operate, although reloading needed two hands). Harry lowered his wand to check the floor, which was littered with small animal bones. It was clear as day that he was trying very hard not to imagine what Ginny might look like when they found her. Harmony knew from experience that Ginny would just be a stiff corpse or not be there, since people took time to show signs of decomposition, and snakes tended to take a while to digest food they'd swallowed. Harry led the way around a bend in the tunnel and something huge and curved came into view… a gigantic, green snake skin. "Look ahead, Harry." She alerted him to the huge snake skin.

"Maybe it's asleep." Harry breathed, Harmony blinked, it seemed he didn't see that parts of the top of the skin were slumped inward in a way that would never occur if the creature was still in it. Lockhart's hands were pressed over his eyes. Harry turned back to look at the thing, his heart beating so fast it hurt.

"I'll scout ahead, if this area was deemed unimportant enough to leave a skin then the main Chamber entrance must still be some distance away…" Harmony stated, walking toward the snake skin in the underground cavern they were standing in. She walked around the large skin—which was piled up in a heap of mostly-still-stiff coils—and out of sight of the others, examining it carefully and estimating the number of turns in the helical stack. "This thing must have been about twenty meters long…" she whispered to herself after looking around her side of the snake skin pile for threats. She had made it another few dozen meters up the passage before a sound came from behind her.

"The adventure ends here, boys!" Her superior hearing was really useful now, coupled with stupid villainous monologues, she began moving back toward them, careful to be silent "I shall take a bit of this skin back up to the school, tell them I was too late to save the girl, and that you two _tragically _lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body, I'll deal with your friend when she comes back—say good-bye to your memories!"

She was in position and would have opened fire about the "too late to save the girl" part if she hadn't noticed Lockhart was holding Ron's broken wand. She decided this was a recipe for a good bang, a good lesson for the boys, and a good laugh, since she cast a quick charm to reinforce the main structure of the cave ceiling in a small area above them. She also decided that discretion was the better part of valour and back-pedalled in case something nasty happened. _This ought to be good…_

"_Obliviate_!" It seemed like a grenade had gone off back there, but most of the concussive force acted on the stalactites instead of the people there. Both Harry and Ron were yelling as they ran for it , Harmony waited until after the rock fall ended to approach, just in case, though she could sense that Harry and Ron were still unharmed like they were supposed to be. On the other hand, the cave-in was unexpected… apparently she hadn't covered enough in the quick _reparo_ she'd cast with a mental image of a very reinforced cave ceiling to try to knit the material into.

"Ron! Are you okay? Ron!" the cave-in had blocked most of the passage, leaving a loose wall of broken stone with a few gaps here and there. _Well crap, I'd guessed it'll be him and me again, in classic fantasy novel fashion._ Harmony thought bitterly. _I don't work too well with Noble Gits interfering with cleaning house… and I know full well that he WILL interfere, unless it's Voldemort._

"I'm here! I'm okay! This git's not though, he got blasted by the wand." Harmony had a sudden thought: _Maybe Ron should have held the wand by its tip this year? Because it seems to backfire regularly…_

There was a dull thud and a loud "OW!" that sounded like Ron had just kicked Lockhart in the shins.

"What now? We can't get through—it'll take ages…" Ron shouted from the other side.

"Slytherin would have escape routes out of the Chamber itself. Ron, look near the tunnel's beginning, there's a stairwell you can use to get out of here." She had a feeling that even memory-wiped Lockhart would be intelligent enough to wrestle, overpower and kill Ron before Ron could kill him. She'd "janitorize" him herself later, she figured, no need to put Ron at risk.

"No, I need to dig a hole in this big enough that you guys can come back through."

"Okay, well, good luck. If we don't come back in an hour, get the hell out of here, we'll probably have found another escape stair or portal of some sort. Slytherin's too cunning not to have escape routes from his Chamber if the tunnel collapsed.

"Alright… I'll wait here and try to shift some of this rock, and Harry, Harmony…"

"See ya in a bit!" Harmony said lightly. Harry gulped next to her and said the same thing rather weakly, clearly trying and failing to inject some confidence into his trembling voice. She believed that Ron could easily do it even without giving him her entrenchment tool (a small folding shovel) since the rock barrier was loose and thin enough, at least near the top, that his voice could get through clearly. She'd thought she'd felt a little something before the detonation… _Damn it, should have realized sooner, Slytherin rigged the small rock fall to do that, inject humility into people mundane enough to try to blast their way to the Chamber…_ "Come on, Harry, we've got a Basilisk to slay and a princess to save!"

"I think you've finally cracked…" Harry said slowly as she pulled him along the passage.

"Harry, I've spoken to Luna a few times this year, asking her about Ginny, she has a huge crush on you, and she used to write stories about you saving her from dragons and stuff. Don't tell her I told you this, alright? Although… I don't think Ginny is enjoying this particular fairy tale very much. Now remember, I'll be under the Cloak, giving you fire support when you need it, okay?" _Always send out the pawn first…_ Something cringed in Harmony's chest at seeing Harry as a pawn but she ignored it.

"Yep, you've definitely lost it… and where did you get a gun from anyways?"

"You don't want to know, it's from the same place where I got my License to Kill, the Government." He didn't press after that.

Harmony saw it first in the dim light of the tunnel (the glittering emerald eyes were rather clearly visible), two entwined serpents across the center of a set of doors. The central part of the door, with the serpents, looked to Harmony like that staff that was commonly seen on hospital walls. "Go ahead, Harry, use Parseltongue and get in there. I will follow under the Cloak as your backup. Act like I'm not there." A very small part of her disliked the idea of him behaving like she didn't exist, but the rest of her didn't even notice that part, so small it was.

Harry shrugged "…Okay then, not much else we can do…" He cleared his throat and hissed at the snakes, the same psychic waveform being transmitted as last time. The serpents slithered apart as if they were alive, the halves opened toward the two children—one already hidden under the Cloak—in a gesture of grandeur and suspense that made Harmony wonder as to the size of Slytherin's ego.

They were standing at the end of a very long, dimly lit chamber, large stone pillars with more carved snakes—with luminescent patches on them, apparently drawing power from the ambient magical energy of Hogwarts—supported the ceiling which was shrouded in darkness. Harry pulled his wand out and moved forward between the serpentine columns toward the other end of the chamber slowly, looking around and acting surprisingly alert given what Harmony usually saw in him. She very much approved of this sort of cautious behaviour, although she questioned his eyesight, as a statue at the end of the chamber, obviously of Slytherin, was probably where the Basilisk was housed. If she had to hazard a guess, for symbolic reasons it would emerge from his mouth like a tongue, so Harry didn't have to be so cautious in his initial advance into the room.

However, even Harmony didn't see Ginny, lying facedown between the figure's feet, until she got to the second last pair of pillars. Ginny's orange hair had been obscured by the bulk of her black school cloak, as her feet were pointed toward them and her head toward Slytherin's statue. The black cloak had effectively camouflaged her body against the dark floor until then. At the same time, Harry spotted her from where he had just passed the last set of pillars. "_Ginny_!" He sprinted to her and dropped to his knees "Ginny… don't be dead… please don't be dead…" He did something that made Harmony's eyes bulge and her recently-rebounding respect level for him as a fighter go back to rock bottom—he _chucked his wand aside_. The worst thing was that Harry hadn't spotted the apparition that seemed to step out from behind one of Slytherin's legs as he grabbed Ginny's shoulders and turned her over. Harmony froze and shielded her mind from the presence, the presence so similar to the Diary's but closer to an old enemy she had fought and flayed the face of before… _Voldemort_. She didn't have time to dart out and grab the wand before Riddle could, so she had to lie in wait… "Ginny, please wake up." Harry was saying, shaking her shoulders. Her head lolled limply from side to side.

"She won't wake." Tom Riddle, strangely blurred around the edges as if non-corporeal yet—this was why Harmony wasn't shooting yet, it might not harm him—spoke softly from where he'd circled to stand behind Harry, so that Harry was trapped between him and the statue. Harry jumped and spun, still cradling Ginny and on his knees.

"Tom — _Tom Riddle_?" He nodded, still staring at Harry's face.

"What d'you mean, she won't wake?" Harry sounded desperate. "She's not… she's not…?"

"She's still alive, but only just." Riddle informed him calmly. Harry stared at him, seemingly finally computing the impossibility of Riddle still here, shimmering (!) and no older than sixteen.

"Are you a ghost?" Harry wondered.

"A memory, preserved in a diary for fifty years." Riddle said. Harmony's mind replied with _Popular fantasy novel theme, the super-villain tends to have soul fragments hidden away to prevent himself from dying._ He pointed at the floor near the statue's giant toes. Lying open there was the little black diary Harry had found in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. _And there's the item his soul fragment was hidden in, should have been obvious… if his fucking relatives had allowed him to read fantasy books and if I hadn't been too stupid to consider the fact that it might not only exist in fiction…_ Her mind growled at the last part of that as she began moving toward the diary around the perimeter of the Chamber.

"You've got to help me, Tom." _Oh my fucking God don't tell me he hasn't listened to ANYTHING I've told him to date about Riddle being the obvious Bad Guy. And I haven't learnt how to telepathically transmit messages yet, only give general feelings, FUCK!_ "We've got to get her out of here. There's a basilisk… I don't know where it is, but it could be along any moment… Please, help me…" He barely managed to heave Ginny halfway off the floor, sweating already from the exertion. He bent to pick up his wand, but it had been in Riddle's hands practically from the moment Harry had discarded it. "Did you see—?" He looked up and FINALLY noticed Riddle had his wand "Thanks." He reached his hand out for the wand that Riddle was twirling between his long fingers.

Riddle smirked, still staring at Harry and twirling the wand idly "Listen, _we've got to go_! If the basilisk comes…" Harry's knees were sagging with Ginny's weight by now.

"It won't come until it is called." Harmony was almost to the Dairy by now, but Riddle needed to be really distracted to not notice it disappearing… and ideally he should be turned the other way for quite a while if she was to get the chance to figure out how to destroy it. If he wasn't fully corporeal yet, chances were he was still anchored to existence by the Diary.

Harry lowered Ginny back to the floor, no longer able to support her weight. "What d'you mean? Look, give me my wand, I might need it…"

Riddle's smirk widened "You won't be needing it." He told Harry, who could only stare at him. Harmony in the meantime was painfully reminded of the fact that Harry wouldn't survive five minutes as a detective with the number of obvious clues he was missing due to preconceptions.

"What d'you mean, I won't be—?"

"I've waited a long time for this, Harry Potter, for the chance to see you. To speak to you."

"Look, I don't think you get it. We're in the _Chamber of Secrets. _We can talk later…"

"We're going to talk now." Riddle was still smiling widely and now pocketed Harry's wand.

Harry kept staring "How did Ginny get like this?"

"Well, that's an interesting question, and quite a long story. I suppose the real reason Ginny Weasley's like this is because she opened her heart and spilled all her secrets to an invisible stranger."

"What are you talking about?" Harmony was beginning to not only want the Dursley's jailed for life but tortured to insanity and death. Evidently, they had been among the minority of British people who dismissed the Psychic Dominator Disaster as a hoax altogether and refused to accept that mind control, among other "abnormal" things, was possible and thus never taught their nephew about its dangers.

"The dairy, MY diary. Little Ginny's been writing in it for months and months, telling me all her pitiful worries and woes… how her brothers _tease _her, how she had to come to school with second-hand books, how… how she didn't think famous, good, great Harry Potter would _ever_

like her…" He was staring at Harry's face hungrily, the megalomaniacal psychopath he would become showing through even in the young face of sixteen-year-old Tom Riddle. "It's very _boring, _having to listen to the silly little troubles of an eleven-year-old girl." Harmony nodded mentally _Well, can't argue with that one, if it's the typical troubles that a girl would write down… I would never write any of my more, ah, _interesting_ escapades down, for example._ "But I was patient. I wrote back. I was sympathetic, I was kind. Ginny simply _loved _me. _No one's ever understood me like you, Tom. _. . . _I'm so glad I've got this diary to confide in. _. . . _It's like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket._"

He laughed, the high, cold laugh grating familiarly on Harmony's ears from memories she'd read from Harry. "If I say it myself, Harry, I've always been able to charm the people I needed. So Ginny poured out her soul to me, and her soul happened to be exactly what I wanted… I grew stronger and stronger on a diet of her deepest fears, her darkest secrets. I grew powerful, far more powerful than little Miss Weasley. Powerful enough to start feeding Miss Weasley a few of _my _secrets, to start pouring a little of _my _soul back into _her_"

"What d'you mean?" Harry asked slowly, nervously.

Riddle chuckled, shook his head, and said softly "Haven't you guessed yet, Harry Potter? Ginny Weasley opened the Chamber of Secrets. She strangled the school roosters and daubed threatening messages on the walls. She set the Serpent of Slytherin on four Mudbloods, and the Squib's cat." _As expected, he doesn't care about collateral, Penelope was a half-blood from what I know of the Prefects._

"No…" Harry whispered.

"Yes." Riddle replied perfectly calmly, which was surprising as he didn't express how much he'd enjoyed torturing Ginny. _What good's being a psychopath if you can't even let yourself experience the joy of it or show your enjoyment?_ Harmony wondered. "Of course, she didn't _know _what she was doing at first. It was very amusing. I wish you could have seen her new diary entries… far more interesting, they became…" Harry looked horrified, and it seemed Riddle was enjoying it, which meant he, who was most likely Voldemort by his age range, was a more regular psychopath than expected. "_Dear Tom, __I think I'm losing my memory. There are rooster feathers all over my robes and I don't know how they got there. Dear Tom, I can't remember what I did on the night of Halloween, but a cat was attacked and I've got paint all down my front. Dear Tom, Percy keeps telling me I'm pale and I'm not myself. I think he suspects me… There was another attack today and I don't know where I was. Tom, what am I going to do? I think I'm going mad_… _I think I'm the one attacking everyone, Tom_!" Harry's fists were clenched by this point "It took a very long time for stupid little Ginny to stop trusting her diary, but she finally became suspicious and tried to dispose of it. And that's where _you _came in, Harry. You found it, and I couldn't have been more delighted. Of all the people who could have picked it up, it was _you, _the very person I was most anxious to meet…"

"And why did you want to meet me?" Harmony felt like hitting her head against a wall, wasn't it obvious enough? And if Harry kept on talking, then Riddle would just have more time to drain more energy from Ginny, probably causing a system failure of her mind once she ran dry and he was able to manifest completely.

"Well, you see, Ginny told me all about you, Harry. Your whole _fascinating _history." His eyes grew even hungrier as they roved over the scar on Harry's forehead. Harmony rolled her eyes. _Dude, obsessing like this doesn't give you any thrills once it's over and done with, just a deep sense of disappointment since it turned out it wasn't worth the time and effort you put in._ "I knew I must find out more about you, talk to you, meet you if I could. So I decided to show you my famous capture of that great oaf, Hagrid, to gain your trust—"

"Hagrid's my friend, and you framed him, didn't you? I thought you made a mistake, but Harmony was right, it seems—"

"It was my word against Hagrid's, Harry. Well, you can imagine how it looked to old Armando Dippet. On the one hand, Tom Riddle, poor but brilliant, parentless but so _brave, _school prefect, model student . . . on the other hand, big, blundering Hagrid, in trouble every other week, trying to raise werewolf cubs under his bed, sneaking off to the Forbidden Forest to wrestle trolls… but I admit, even _I _was surprised how well the plan worked. I thought _someone _must realize that Hagrid couldn't possibly be the Heir of Slytherin. It had taken _me _five whole years to find out everything I could about the Chamber of Secrets and discover the secret entrance… as though Hagrid had the brains, or the power!" _Arrogance which shall be your downfall, Lord Voldemort._ Harmony thought "Only the Transfiguration teacher, Dumbledore, seemed to think Hagrid was innocent. He persuaded Dippet to keep Hagrid and train him as gamekeeper. Yes, I think Dumbledore might have guessed… Dumbledore never seemed to like me as much as the other teachers did…"

"I bet Dumbledore saw right through you" Harry gritted out.

"Well, he certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me after Hagrid was expelled." Riddle said with a shrug as if the issue was beneath his notice "I knew it wouldn't be safe to open the Chamber again while I was still at school. But I wasn't going to waste those long years I'd spent searching for it. I decided to leave behind a diary, preserving my sixteen-year-old self in its pages, so that one day, with luck, I would be able to lead another in my footsteps, and finish Salazar Slytherin's noble work."

"Well, you haven't finished it," Harmony's eyes bulged, again, at the triumphant tone of Harry's voice for a moment before her shoulders slumped under the cloak in dejection at the incurable moronic side inherent in him being a Noble Git. _Harry, Harry… haven't you realized that he's been after YOU for quite a while now? Ever since Ginny told him about his downfall at your hands? If my guess is correct and this is a chunk of Voldemort's sixteen-year-old soul, he'll want to know how he lost to you, a one-year-old, when he was fifty-five years old._ "No one's died this time, not even the cat. In a few hours the Mandrake Draught will be ready and everyone who was Petrified will be all right again…"

"Haven't I already told you," _Well, no you haven't, Riddle, why don't you tell him now?_ "that killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me anymore? For many months now, my new target has been — _you_." _HALLELUJAH THE TRUTH COMES OUT, Maybe Harry will grow some brain cells now and realize what or who Riddle is and what he is doing…_ Harmony's train of thought derailed abruptly as she mentally facepalmed at Harry's blank stare _…Never mind…_

"Imagine how angry I was when the next time my diary was opened, it was Ginny who was writing to me, not you. She saw you with the diary, you see, and panicked. What if you found out how to work it, and I repeated all her secrets to you? What if, even worse, I told you who'd been strangling roosters? So the foolish little brat waited until your dormitory was deserted and stole it back. But I knew what I must do. It was clear to me that you were on the trail of Slytherin's heir. From everything Ginny had told me about you, I knew you would go to any lengths to solve the mystery, particularly if one of your best friends was attacked. And Ginny had told me the whole school was buzzing because you could speak Parseltongue…" Riddle still sounded rather casual.

Amazingly, Harry was still staring dumbly as if shocked that anyone could be so evil. "So I made Ginny write her own farewell on the wall and come down here to wait. She struggled and cried and became _very _boring. But there isn't much life left in her… She put too much into the diary, into me. Enough to let me leave its pages at last… I have been waiting for you to appear since we arrived here. I knew you'd come. I have many questions for you, Harry Potter."

Harry had finally stopped staring "Like what?"

"Well, how is it that _you_, a skinny boy with no extraordinary magical talent, managed to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did _you _escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?" His eyes seemed to start gleaming red by this point, and Harmony did a quick scan of the amount of energy moving from Ginny to him. By her calculations, if she didn't act soon, Ginny would be dead by the time the idiot Harry finished entertaining Voldemort. She noted that Riddle had ceased monitoring Ginny's condition, only monitoring the amount of energy flow. The best way to buy more time would therefore be to put in energy into Ginny's psychic energy reserves at the same, fairly slow rate as it was being drained. _Well, here goes nothing…_

"Why do you care how I escaped?" Harry asked slowly "Voldemort was after your time."

"Voldemort… is my past, present, and future, Harry Potter." Riddle said softly before he began tracing his name in shimmering letters in midair using Harry's wand. He waved the wand once, and the letters rearranged themselves to _I AM LORD VOLDEMORT_. Harry's jaw dropped and Harmony smirked under the Cloak. _It was about time Harry had this smacked into his face, the non-realization was beginning to make me sick._

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A/N: Wrote the last 2 chapters, then realized they were a bit long (10-11K) to read in lumps, so chopped them up into 3 (~7K words each) and moved a **long** A/N I'd planned on putting as a stand-alone chapter (easier to skip that way) into the end of Ch 12.

REVIEW! **No reviews, no update!**


	11. Bringing Ginny Home

A/N: I know I said SupCom: Babylonia is on hiatus, but my idea of hiatus has occasional updates. At the very least, I need to write enough to make it absolutely clear why the previous spawns' stories matter.

Okay, so the No reviews, no update thing on the last chap was a bit of a lie, but whatever. **Did you know my original mental image of Bellatrix was basically Miranda Lawson in wizard clothes?**

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Chapter 11: Bringing Ginny Home

"You see? It was a name I was already using at Hogwarts, to my most intimate friends only, of course." Harmony mentally snorted while slowly transferring energy to Ginny to make sure the young redhead's reserves didn't suffer a catastrophic collapse and fry her mind._ Friends? More like power-hungry fools too scared of the rapid progress of the Muggle world and of the influx of Muggleborns into their stagnant society. They were fools who didn't understand that like any other good megalomaniac you would dispose of them as soon as you finished using them._ "You think I was going to use my filthy Muggle father's name forever? I, in whose veins runs the blood of Salazar Slytherin himself, through my mother's side?" _AARRROOGGANNCEE!_ Harmony's mind chanted as she wished Harry would turn Riddle AWAY from her direction for a few seconds. "I, keep the name of a foul, common Muggle, who abandoned me even before I was born, just because he found out his wife was a witch?" _So that was where his hatred of Muggles began festering from, no, it was because she tricked him using a love potion, but he insists on blaming Muggles for everything… which shall be his downfall._ "No, Harry — I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I had become the greatest sorcerer in the world!" _What's the point of a name if no one uses it? A name is defined as a label which others use to call you, so if others don't use it to call you, then that name does not exist, lord mouldy-shorts, you need to look in a dictionary sometime…_

Harry was, again, staring numbly at Riddle as if he couldn't believe someone could be so evil. "You're not." He said in a whisper full of hatred. _Yes, Harry, embrace it, understand that part of your human nature, break free of the indoctrination Dumbledore has been putting you through to be his weapon, his "hero" to use and discard once this is over, his sacrifice to appease the cycle of Dark Lords that will keep coming as long as this societal Machine is not razed and reconstructed._ Harmony felt a surge of anger toward the old Headmaster at the thought of Harry being exploited in such a manner.

"Not what?" Riddle snapped.

"Not the greatest sorcerer in the world." _You tell him Harry!_ Harmony smiled under the Cloak, though she was vaguely unimpressed at his quick, angry breaths. It was so much more efficient to quickly refresh the air in your lungs and optimize oxygen intake by taking deep breaths… _speaking of which, where the hell is the ventilation system for this place, and does it also run on the leaked psychic energy that permeates the grounds?_ "Sorry to disappoint you and all that, but the greatest wizard in the world is Albus Dumbledore. Everyone says so. Even when you were strong, you didn't dare try and take over at Hogwarts. Dumbledore saw through you when you were at school and he still frightens you now, wherever you're hiding these days—"

Riddle's face was twisted in a snarl "Dumbledore's been driven out of this castle by the mere _memory_ of me!" _What a lie, you're a soul fragment, which is far more powerful than any mere memory could ever hope to be!_

"He's not as gone as you might think!" Harry retorted. Harmony knew this to be true, for Dumbledore still had many, many pawns within his castle, including Harry himself, though the poor boy didn't know it yet. Riddle opened his mouth just as music began coming from somewhere. Harmony felt it first, the shift in the psychic background of the room and something changing. The closest thing to it that she had sensed before was the signature of the Floo Network… it should be a portal! The musical trilling, bird-like in nature, quickly grew louder and as it started getting annoyingly loud, flames erupted before the nearest pillar. A red and gold bird the size of a peacock had appeared through a bright portal, its tail was as long as a peacock's and had glittering gold plumage, with similarly coloured talons, which gripped a ragged bundle that Harmony identified at once as the Sorting Hat.

Fawkes—for Harmony knew the Headmaster had a phoenix and she doubted any other phoenix could fetch the Sorting Hat—flew down toward Harry, dropping the Hat and then landing heavily on his shoulder. He stopped singing, glaring steadily at Riddle.

"That's a phoenix…" Riddle stated the obvious.

"_Fawkes_?" Harry whispered incredulously, and Harmony saw the bird's feet tighten a little in a gentle squeeze of the boy's shoulders.

"And _that_…" Riddle wore a bemused expression as he blinked at the ragged, frayed, patched Hat sitting at Harry's feet as if not quite believing his eyes "that's the old school Sorting Hat…" He began laughing uproariously, almost hysterically "This is what Dumbledore sends his defender! A songbird and an old hat! Do you feel brave, Harry Potter? Do you feel safe now?" Harry's face was neutral as he waited for Riddle to laugh. Harmony approved of this, _never show fear to an enemy…_ "To business, Harry." Riddle was still smiling broadly after he finished laughing his ass off. "Twice—in _your _past, in _my _future—we have met. And twice I failed to kill you. _How did you survive_? Tell me everything. The longer you talk, the longer you stay alive."

Harry seemed to have finally realized that he'd better fight sooner than later. "No one knows why you lost your powers when you attacked me. I don't know myself, but I know why you couldn't _kill _me. Because my mother died to save me, my common _Muggleborn _mother, she stopped you killing me. And I've seen the real you, I saw you last year. You're a wreck. You're barely alive. That's where all your power got you. You're in hiding. You're ugly, you're foul—"

Riddle's face twisted in rage before he forced into an ugly smile. _Anyone who can't take an insult is incapable of getting actually powerful enough to take over the world, or even a significant part of it, now can we get started on the showdown already?_ Harmony thought in ennui.

"So. Your mother died to save you. Yes, that's a powerful countercharm. I can see now… there is nothing special about you, after all. I wondered, you see… There are strange likenesses between us, after all. Even you must have noticed, both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles. Probably the only two Parselmouths to come to Hogwarts since the great Slytherin himself. We even _look _something alike… but after all, it was merely a lucky chance that saved you from me. That's all I wanted to know." His twisted smirk was widening again "Now, Harry, I'm going to teach you a little lesson. Let's match the powers of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against famous Harry Potter, and the best weapons Dumbledore can give him…" He looked lazily over Fawkes and the Sorting Hat, then walked around them to the statue of Slytherin, looking up and hissing something.

Harmony might not have learnt to transmit a precise message yet—at least, transmit without accidentally knocking the recipient out for half a day or so—but she could tap information if at close range. Unfortunately, she wasn't close enough to Harry to data-tap him, and the opportunity to do so would not arise until several days afterward (Slytherin's ego would prove surprisingly large). Regardless of what Riddle said however, Harmony noted the chin piece moving downward and the statue's mouth opening… and something was slithering out of the hole. She unclipped one of the satchel charges she had prepared from where it rested around her waist like a fanny pack, and prepared to throw it into the mouth of the Basilisk at the first opportunity. Harry on the other hand was backing away until he hit one of the columns, shutting his eyes tight as the huge snake hit the floor and stared at him, trying to use its Psi-emitters but failing due to the lack of a suitable trigger—a bright, narrow-beam optical flash that would have been produced by the eyes of the snake, as a later dissection revealed—in the target's mind to throw them off guard and make them susceptible to infiltration and therefore Psi-Ray Overload.

Riddle hissed something as he watched the Basilisk move toward Harry, who was running blindly sideways with his hands outstretched. Riddle was laughing as Harry tripped, falling hard on the floor as the giant serpent approached and Harmony picked up the Diary from behind Riddle. Fawkes dived at the snake's head, and punched into one of its huge eyes before it could dodge. A spray of dark blood and vitreous humour (the gel-like material inside the eyeball) splattered onto the ground as the snake reared up, snapping at the phoenix angrily with an explosive spitting noise. Its large green coils were thrashing a bit and sent Harry rolling over and over until he came to a halt at the next pillar as a result of the Basilisk bumping him aside. Harmony had grabbed the Hat, hiding it under the Cloak, and began running toward him just in case he needed it. Fawkes must have brought it for some reason, right?

Riddle was hissing almost as loudly as the phoenix punctured the Basilisk's other eye. Harmony wasn't sure what he was saying, but Fawkes was circling the Basilisk's head, trilling and jabbing every once in a while at its scaly nose. "Help me, help me, someone, anyone…" Harry was muttering as Harmony stuffed the Hat at his hands but accidentally hit him in the face. He jammed it onto his head and Harmony felt something happen in time-space, but had no idea what or how as the Hat contracted. Harry reeled as if hit over the head, and yanking the Hat off he pulled a gleaming silver sword from inside, its handle glittering with rubies the size of eggs…

Riddle was still trying to talk to the Basilisk, which had begun to calm a bit and was beginning to orient itself to lunge at the two of them. It lunged blindly as Harmony dove one way and kicked Harry the other, the snake's head hitting the wall between them. It lunged again at Harry—Harmony had never before been more grateful that she had bathed while preparing for the operation and her natural scent, or near-lack thereof, was masked by mud and Chamber dirt—and almost hit him. A third time it lunged just as Harmony finished making sure she was still fully covered by the Cloak. Her jaw dropped soundlessly at how STUPID Harry decided to act.

Harry braced his weight as much as possible—_with his back to nothing but air_—and the Basilisk scratched a deep wound in its upper palate as it tried to stop upon feeling the sword cut into its flesh. Still, the snake retreated, bleeding from its mouth and spitting angrily as it left a fang wound in Harry's arm. Harmony was charging the serpent as Harry stumbled and collapsed on the floor, still clutching the sword. _He couldn't have braced himself against such a huge collision mass…_ She thought furiously as she charged the snake, which was opening and shutting its mouth every few seconds, licking at the wound, which was slowly starting to clot, with its forked tongue.

She barely stopped herself from revealing herself when she remembered the biggest problem, Riddle, who had the Basilisk head in his line of sight. Riddle walked along next to the wounded serpent, hissing at it to wait (well, it didn't move to attack again,s o that was what he'd probably said), toward Harry. The… _thing_—for Harmony's mind could come up with no better a description—stood over Harry as Fawkes landed near the stricken boy. "Fawkes… You were fantastic, Fawkes…" The phoenix laid his head on the wound in Harry's arm, and Harmony's momentary Blood Rage faded fully at realizing Harry was never in real danger of dying via Basilisk poison with Fawkes nearby.

"You're dead, Harry Potter. Dead. Even Dumbledore's bird knows it. Do you see what he's doing, Potter? He's crying. I'm going to stand here and watch you die, Harry Potter. Take your time. I'm in no hurry…" Riddle paused before saying with an air of superiority "So ends the famous Harry Potter, alone in the Chamber of Secrets, forsaken by his friends, defeated at last by the Dark Lord he so unwisely challenged. You'll be back with your dear Mudblood mother soon, Harry… She bought you twelve years of borrowed time… but Lord Voldemort got you in the end, as you knew he must…" Harmony felt a strong wave of despair overcome Harry at the thought that he'd been abandoned, and knew exactly why it was so, because she hadn't visibly acted yet, he must have thought she'd taken the cloak and run for it. It would be a nasty shock later for Harmony to find, while rifling through his mind, that Harry had thought the Basilisk had hit her and knocked her out or killed her already, and THAT was why he'd despaired.

When he finished walking by the wounded Basilisk's periodically opening mouth and realized something ("Get away, bird."), Riddle broke into a jog for the last couple steps. "Get away from him—I said, _get away_—" He raised his wand and fired a Bludgeoning Hex, prompting Fawkes to lift off. Harmony, having set the timer on the satchel charge she held to fifteen seconds, started the clock ticking, and threw it into the Basilisk's yawning mouth.

The huge snake instinctively swallowed just as Riddle said slowly "Phoenix tears, of course, healing powers. I forgot… But it makes no difference. In fact, I prefer it this way. Just you and me, Harry Potter… you and me…" He raised his wand just before a very messy explosion occurred behind him and he turned to see a curly-haired brunette whip off an invisibility Cloak absolutely drenched in half-liquefied (from the blast shockwave) Basilisk flesh, grinning savagely.

He merely stared in total shock at how this could possibly have happened before he sent a jet of slow-moving (to someone used to firearm projectile speeds) red light at her which she evaded before she made a slashing motion with a metal stick toward her own hand and snapped "_Avada Kedavra!_" in under half a second.

She knew that the Killing Curse couldn't be cast by anyone with a pure soul, and knew even better that it required pure hatred to fuel it, a pure desire to see the other person dead for the sake of being dead. It required a total desire to have the target's soul evicted permanently from their body for the sake of it. That had been why she believed it should be good enough to destroy soul anchors. That was why she had allowed her hatred to mount as he gloated over Harry, as he taunted and insulted him, allowed him to make her wish him dead for the sake of being dead. That was why some people, like Dumbledore and Harry Potter, would never be able to use it.

And that was why the curse worked, outlining the diary she had let go of a moment before she cursed it in a bright pulse and aura of green light before it practically exploded in torrents of ink and Riddle screamed. The covers of the book flew open and apart as the ink blasted out like water from a firefighting hose. At the same time, Harmony sank to her knees in exertion as she began forcibly draining the magical energy leaking out of Riddle into herself to replenish her badly-hit reserves, sending some to Ginny to charge her batteries enough for her to awaken within the next couple minutes.

Slowly, she tipped forward, catching herself with her hands, breathing harshly still as she trembled with mental fatigue. Harry, pulling himself to his hands and knees, abandoned the sword as he scrabbled over to her and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her tightly against him in relief. "I'll live, Harry, that Killing Curse just took a lot out of me…" she took a gasping breath, her face against his shoulder, usually she'd be quite a few inches taller, but right now the mental fatigue meant she was shaking like a leaf in the wind. She felt him stiffen, and the proximity told her he was remembering the green flash that was his only memory of the night his parents died. "I know you must hate me for knowing a curse that requires absolute hate to work, and… I'm sorry, Harry, that I didn't act earlier, but I needed to get the Diary so that I could kill it…" He pushed her back enough to look into her eyes, with a thunderstruck expression on his face and scanning her features as if seeing her for the first time. "Go… get Ginny, I'll be okay to move soon." The fact that she was still harvesting the leaked energy and feeding some of it to Ginny didn't help her pounding headache or the fact that her sentences seemed to make very little sense to herself.

Harry nodded numbly, silently, before rising and going back to where he had been to pick up the sword. He walked back over, opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, then made a funny croaking noise before "That was the same curse that he used on my parents, Harmony."

"It… it was?" She faked surprise, as she'd already known this from her reviewing of Harry's nightmares to try to find ways to help him. "I… I didn't know. I just thought that with all this Heir business, I should learn the most powerful spells I could to deal with the enemy in case it was Voldemort again… and it turned out it was… In fantasy novels, soul anchors are popular devices among the darkest magic-users, and I read that the Killing Curse was supposed to evict the soul forcibly from the target, so I thought it might work…"

"I understand, Harmony, and I wish there was another way, but… you were right to do that, he didn't deserve to exist. I'll get Ginny, take all the time you need, alright?"

"Harry, what about Lockhart?"

"What about him?"

"He tried to wipe our memories, crazy people like him, if we don't press charges of fraud and get him into Azkaban, at the very least, chances are as soon as he recovers he'll Obliviate the doctors and nurses taking care of him, and with how bad the Wizarding World is at ignoring things it doesn't want to see, they'll probably misplace the paperwork records, or he'll modify them somehow. What I'm saying is that when we finally have to fight Voldemort once and for all, we don't need a lunatic springing out at us in the most inconvenient of moments."

Harry frowned "You're suggesting…" His eyes widened in realization "absolutely not, Harmony! You can't kill him!"

Harmony snorted as she pulled herself unsteadily to her feet "Fine, Harry Potter, I won't use the Killing Curse on him, but don't think that I won't tell you 'I told you so' when the Magical World is thoroughly doomed by your misplaced faith in a lunatic who's already insane enough to go out and steal other people's exploits like that. If he jumps out at us at an inopportune, critical moment, and causes a catastrophic operational failure, then it will be your fault for failing the world."

"Don't say that, Harmony, you don't know Lockhart well enough to know he'd go off the deep end like that… you're beginning to scare me Harmony, thinking like this, it's like _he_'s possessed you now." Harry said soothingly as he helped stabilize her while they moved toward Ginny, who rolled over as they approached, groaning before pushing herself up on her arms to sit up. She gaped at them, at how they were leaning on each other for support as they moved toward her.

She gaped even more at their blood-soaked robes, the diary held in Harmony's hands, the dead Basilisk—with its head blown off to lie some metres away from most of its body—and the sword Harry was still holding onto. The grenade bandolier across Harmony's front and the straps that held her body armour together, plus her small array of guns, though Ginny didn't know what they were, didn't help things. She took a deep, shuddering, gasping breath and tears began to pour down her face. "Harry…oh, Harry…" Harmony felt something twinge inside and a bit more energy enter her system as if it was squaring off against some manner of competition at the moment, which was exceedingly odd because it was just Ginny talking to Harry. "I tried to tell you at b-breakfast, but I c-_couldn't _say it in front of Percy… it was _me, _Harry… but I… I s-swear I d-didn't mean to… R-Riddle made me, he t-took me over… and… _how _did you kill that… that thing? W-where's Riddle? The last thing I r-remember is him coming out of the diary…"

Harmony laughed bitterly as she pulled away from Harry's support, feeling confident she could stand on her own now "I told you before, Harry, that it was Riddle behind all this and that he was likely pre-Lord Mouldy-shorts. Now if only you'd listen to me on the Lockhart problem…"

Harry shook his head again and left her to stand on her own—which she did without much trouble now that she'd had time to recover "No, Harmony, we can't do something like that, don't you think he's been punished enough?"

"And you're being a stupid Noble Git as usual." She snapped at him before extending a hand to help Ginny up "It's all right, Ginny, Riddle's finished, Look!" She held the diary, still dripping ink and looking burnt near the edges, out and Ginny scrabbled backward, suddenly terrified, in crab-walk fashion from the seemingly minimally damaged book. Harmony sighed, then waved at the corpse of the giant serpent "Him _and _the basilisk. C'mon, Ginny, let's get out of here…" _I don't envy the number of times I'll have to make runs to this place to get enough samples of the Basilisk parts out for Mum to put through weapons research… even preliminary samples before I call in a crew to remove the beast to somewhere where t can be picked up by chopper without the chopper being sighted easily._

"I'm going to be expelled!" Ginny wept as Harry helped her to her feet "I've looked forward to coming to Hogwarts ever since B-Bill came and n-now I'll have to leave and… _w-what'll Mum and Dad say_?"

"They'll be proud that you managed to fight him for this long, Ginny, but they'll be unhappy you never told him about a suspicious artefact." Harmony said as she turned her back to them "Let's go, we need to get back to Ron and Lockhart, then take the stairs back up to the castle." They did just that, although Harmony noted that she would be demolishing her way _around_ the doors if it turned out they were resistant to physical damage as well as psychic-induced damage (i.e. magic-caused explosions). She NEEDED to get samples, and it was hers by right of conquest—never before had she been so glad the Wizarding World still followed such archaic concepts, although the Revolution she was planning would uproot most of the aristocracy's customs.

After a few minutes' slow progress up the dark tunnel, Harmony detected the sound of distantly shifting rock "Harry, Ron's made a hole in the wall, I think, because I can hear rock shifting." _If he hasn't then I'll just have to help him dig us out of this situation with my E-Tool, good thing it's just psychic fatigue I'm experiencing and not physical fatigue…_ "Seems we won't have to scout for the other escape passages Slytherin has from the Chamber itself… Let's move faster!" She sped up, Harry and Ginny followed.

"Ron!" Harry shouted "Ginny's okay! We've got her!"

There was a sort of strangled cheer from Ron, as if he was busy exerting effort and couldn't say much. However, by the time they rounded the next bend, he'd managed to make a sizeable gap in the rock wall "GINNY!" He thrust an arm through to help her through first "You're alive! I don't believe it! What happened? How… what… where did that bird come from?" Fawkes had swept through the gap after Ginny, trilling softly as he landed on the ground.

"He's Dumbledore's." Harry said, crawling through the gap himself. Harmony in the meantime was stripping off her body armour and weapons to reduce her bulk so that she could fit. She had already disassembled the second satchel charge while Ginny was going through, to prevent any unexpected accidents, and shoved the parts through with most of her hardware. When she was down to undershirt, pistol and pants, she crawled through the gap and quickly re-equipped the removed hardware.

In the meantime, Ron had just been refused an explanation by Harry about the sword and Ginny. Harmony's first words after refitting her gear were "Where's Lockhart?"

"Back there, he's in a bad way. Come and see." Ron motioned toward the pipe they'd come in through. Fawkes's scarlet and gold wings were a bit bio- or psycho-luminescent in the darkness, helping them navigate all the way back to the mouth of the pipe, where Lockhart was sitting, humming to himself. "His memory's gone, the Memory Charm backfired. Hit him instead of us. Hasn't got a clue who he is, or where he is, or who we are. I told him to come and wait here. He's a danger to himself."

Harmony snapped her pistol up, hesitating only a bit to see if a certain Noble Git would stop her from actually taking the safety off and firing. Predictably, Harry grabbed her arm "No, Harmony, don't, it's not even justified as self-defence if you do this… please, listen to me."

"I said I won't curse him, I said nothing about blowing his skull open, Harry, let go!"

"No!" He insisted. She rolled her eyes and lowered her gun, locking the safety in place before holstering it.

"Fine, Harry, I expected that from you, but for the record, _I told you so_."

Lockhart peered good-naturedly at them all as they stopped arguing "Hello, odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?"

"No." Ron said, raising his eyebrows at Harry with an amused look dancing in his eyes.

"Have you thought how we're going to get back up this?" Harry said to Ron. Harmony in the meantime walked along the pipe toward the door that was hidden in the darkness.

"Hello, boys, there's stairs right over here…" she gestured vaguely in that direction before realizing Fawkes was shaking his tail in front of Harry, Ron and Ginny, then ran back over to them.

"He looks like he wants you to grab hold…" Ron looked perplexed. Harmony's mind supplied an opinion of _Alternatively, he's shaking his ass at you, which is a vaguely disturbing mental image for me_ "But you're much too heavy for a bird to pull up there—"

"Fawkes is no ordinary bird, Ron, he's a phoenix, and they can carry immensely heavy loads. We've got to hold on to each other. Harmony, you grab on first and I'll hold onto you. Ginny, grab Ron's hand. Professor Lockhart—"

"He means you." Ron said sharply to Lockhart.

"You hold Ginny's other hand—"

"Harry, that is incredibly stupid, you're going to get torn in half by the inertia of the rest of us…" Harmony noticed none of them seemed to understand her "… our weight, unless Fawkes has some sort of gravity dampening system that can extend its field of influence over us all." The phoenix raised two clusters of its tail feathers, one on either side, then trilled and nodded. "So you can carry us fully safely if we split into two groups, one on each side?" He trilled again in agreement "Alright, Lockhart, grab my ankles, Harry, grab Ron's ankles, Ginny, grab Harry's ankles. I hope you're strong enough Ron not to get torn in half when we accelerate…" The redhead gulped, but as there was no other choice obvious to him, he and the rest of them did as she instructed without even grumbling about holding each other's muddy legs "Never mind, Fawkes has anti-gravity and therefore inertial compensation for g-forces." Harmony muttered as the phoenix levitated them and accelerated them down the pipe, trailing behind him like an extension of his glowing tail. "Fawkes, I'm surprised you, as a definite Light-side creature, allows someone like me, who is able to use the Killing Curse, to touch you. Why?"

The phoenix _spoke_ and Harmony stiffened in shock as the telepathic transmission echoed in her mind, a combination of thoughts and feelings that translated to speech for her mind to be better able to understand it. "_Because you would never use it without good reason like evil people would. If it was up to me, a evil being like Lockhart needs to be severely punished. I know that in his current state he'll be let off, and that is not justice, young Harmony. I don't approve of killing him, but it is probably the closest thing to justice that will be dispensed against him. For an attention freak like him, real justice is to be locked away and forgotten…_"

"You know, given how Phoenixes are supposed to be good creatures, your idea of justice is amazingly cruel." She replied conversationally, while Lockhart was crowing about the flight being "just like magic".

"_Justice is to punish wrongdoers, and that is always cruel from the view of those who have done wrong but do not admit to themselves that they were wrong. This is something my familiar has yet to really understand, probably due to his troubled past. I hope however that I'll be able to get the point through to him before he dies, otherwise, Albus Dumbledore may prove to in fact be as thick as Harry Potter is._" Fawkes finished as they exited the pipe in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and he set them down gently. Lockhart straightened his hat as the sink that had hidden the pipe slid smoothly back into place.

Myrtle was staring at them almost as much as Harmony would have liked to stare at Fawkes. "You're alive…" she said blankly to Harry.

"There's no need to sound so disappointed." Harry said grimly, wiping his dirty glasses on his shirt.

"Oh, well… I'd just been thinking… if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet…" Myrtle blushed silver.

"Ugh! Harry!" Ron said after they'd exited into the dark, empty corridor and shut the bathroom door behind them "Harry! I think Myrtle's grown _fond _of you! You've got competition, Ginny!"

Another spike of… something, directed toward the younger girl, echoed somewhere in the back of a certain brunette's head. However, this was ignored in favour of Fawke's next amusement-tinted transmission "_You know, I could easily have extended my gravity-control bubble over all of you at once even if it was a long line of you, so no one was in any danger, but I decided to humour you anyways._"

"Thanks, Fawkes, for that lift." Harmony stroked the Phoenix's feathers appreciatively, nodding to show that she'd gotten the message.

"_You mind scratching the back of my head for me?_" she moved her hand up.

Leaning in, she whispered "That has got to be the most ridiculous request I can think of coming from a phoenix." The big bird trilled as if chuckling, striding along peacock-style beside them. "Let's go to McGonagall's office, it's the most likely place where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, plus important staff members, will be found."

Fawkes trilled agreeably and started striding faster… until Ron accidentally stumbled and stepped on his tail feathers. He squawked angrily and took off again, whipping his tail out from under Ron's foot and making the redhead fall flat on his back as the phoenix hovered in midair using his anti-gravity emitters. He gave them a beady-eyed glare as if saying "this is why I prefer flying" before sweeping off to McGonagall's office door, still squawking indignantly. Harmony knocked hard, then,, after a short moment of silence, kicked the door open with a bang.

Clearly, the inhabitants had been looking around morbidly at each other as if trying to determine who was going to get the door. There was a moment of stunned silence as Harmony ushered Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Lockhart in before entering and shutting the door behind her. "_Ginny!_" Mrs. Weasley, who'd been sitting in front of the fire sobbing into her husband's shoulder, had leapt to her feet and practically tackled Ginny in a hug. The younger redhead actually had to step back with one foot to prevent herself from falling as her father wrapped his arms around both his wife and daughter.

Other than that, Dumbledore was standing by the mantelpiece, a huge smile splitting his aged face, McGonagall was holding onto her desk and was taking deep, relieved breaths as if a huge weight had been taken off her chest. Fawkes flew past the group that had just entered and settled his muck-repelling form (Harmony had noted this earlier) on Dumbledore's shoulder just before the boys were slammed painfully (for them, despite the black school cloak she'd draped over her body to hide her hardware) into Harmony's armoured flanks by Mrs. Weasley clamping her arms around them.

"You saved her! You saved her! _How _did you do it?" Mrs. Weasley squealed almost hysterically.

McGonagall was showing a small smile now "I think we'd all like to know that…"

Mrs. Weasley let go of them, and Harmony grabbed Harry's left hand to yank him forward, laying the ink-splattered, slightly burnt Diary on the desk before he laid down the ruby-decorated sword that she didn't even want to touch. The reasoning for that was: _Too… many… FRILLS! Those rubies… serve no function but decoration… on an implement of war… I think I'm gonna be sick!_ "Harry, you go first, it began with you." She said, knowing he wouldn't appreciate it if she told the small crowd about him hearing the voice in the walls.

Harry lauched into pause-prone speech "So this year… uh… I've been hearing a disembodied voice, the first time when in detention with Lockhart and again before each of the attacks, talking about ripping, tearing and killing, and how it was so hungry, for so long… When the attacks started I thought it might be Malfoy that was the Heir, so Hermione made us Polyjuice Potion to infiltrate the Slytherin common room and question him. It turned out it wasn't him… When Hagrid was taken away, we had gone down to visit him, and he said to follow the spiders… Ron, Harmony and I followed them into the forest where we found a nest of gigantic spiders standing over ten feet tall. Their leader and apparently the first of them, Aragog, was a pet Hagrid had hatched and hid in a cupboard fifty years ago. He told us where the last victim of the Basilisk died, in a bathroom. We'd guessed that Myrtle might have been the victim, and when we had to take a detour to visit Hermione, we found a page on Basilisks in her fist, she'd also figured out it was moving through the plumbing. Then we figured that the entrance to the Chamber might be in her bathroom…" _That didn't take long…_ He thought.

"Very well, so you found out where the entrance was—breaking a hundred school rules into pieces along the way, I might add—but how on _earth _did you all get out of there alive, Potter?"

Harmony stepped up to plate "After we entered, finding Tom Riddle in a sort of apparition form draining psychic… magical, in your terms, energy from Ginny so that he could materialize, I was hiding under the Cloak to ambush Tom and the Basilisk at the earliest opportunity. Fawkes arrived with the Sorting Hat just before Tom set the Basilisk on Harry, and when Harry, after obtaining the sword from inside the Hat, braced himself to stab through the roof of the Basilisk's mouth, he was wounded by one of the fangs. Tom decided to watch him die, so he called off the wounded Basilisk, which had a deep cut in its mouth from the sword. Tom didn't realize Fawkes' tears could heal Harry, which was a lot stupider than I expected Lord Voldemort" the Weasley parents and McGonagall twitched and gasped at that. "to be. So when Harry was healed, Tom had finally passed the Basilisk's mouth, which was opening once in a while as it tried to lick its wound as best it could." The wound had extended to behind where the tongue exited the floor of the mouth so it had to do that "I threw in a satchel charge of explosives and, after blowing the Basilisk's head away from the rest of its body, threw off the gore-splattered cloak and destroyed Tom." She'd noticed Harry was trying to cover up for Ginny, and she decided that there was no harm in complying, since he had led this cover-up.

"What interests me most, is how Lord Voldemort managed to enchant Ginny, when my sources tell me he is currently in hiding in the forests of Albania." Dumbledore said.

"W-what's that? You-Know-Who? En-enchant Ginny? But Ginny's not… Ginny hasn't been… has she?"

"It was this diary, Riddle wrote it when he was sixteen…" Harry said, showing the Dairy to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore took the diary from Harry and looked down at its scorched and soggy pages with his eyebrows raised "Brilliant… Of course, he was probably the most brilliant student Hogwarts has ever seen." He turned to the puzzled-looking Weasleys, Molly still holding Ginny in her lap "Very few people know that Lord Voldemort was once called Tom Riddle. I taught him myself, fifty years ago, at Hogwarts. He disappeared after leaving the school… traveled far and wide… sank so deeply into the Dark Arts, consorted with the very worst of our kind, underwent so many dangerous, magical transformations, that when he resurfaced as Lord Voldemort, he was barely recognizable. Hardly anyone connected Lord Voldemort with the clever, handsome boy who was once Head Boy here."

"But, Ginny, what's our Ginny got to do with — with — him?"

"His d-diary! I've b-been writing in it, and he's been w-writing back all year—" Ginny hiccoughed a couple times, having stopped crying into her mother's shirt already.

"Ginny!" Mr. Weasley said exasperatedly "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. Why didn't you show the diary to me, or your mother? A suspicious object like that, it was clearly full of Dark Magic—"

The tears began to flow again "I d-didn't know, I found it inside one of the books Mum got me. I th-thought someone had just left it in there and forgotten about it—"

"I know who left it, Ginny." Harmony said sharply before Dumbledore could interrupt.

"_What_?" Everyone's eyes were on her now except Lockhart's.

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, please give me your wands first, we don't want you doing anything rash." She stated "If you don't give me your wands, I won't tell you." They did so, looking at her suspiciously "Who had their hands on the textbooks that were CERTAIN to be Ginny's during the visit to Diagon Alley? She couldn't have been slipped the book somehow when I was with her, there was only one person who held onto any of her books for long enough, out of sight, buried under a pile of tumbling books off a bookshelf, to have done it, Lucius Malfoy."

She waited for the frothing commotion in the room to calm down, which took on the order of five minutes "However, it is absolutely certain that if Malfoy had known what this was to his old master, he would not have put it at risk for fear of being killed by Voldemort when he does return, and mark my words, he will, if he's so callous about his artefacts to use this one like this, he probably has more." She tossed the Diary up in the air and caught it casually as it fell.

"Are you absolutely certain about that?" Dumbledore asked.

_Oh, the fragment of Riddle in the Diary was far more than a mere memory piece, and after reading enough muggle fantasy novels, it's the first plausibility that comes up after that, a soul imprint or a fragment. Given how Voldemort doesn't care for his soul much, with how he cares about nothing much, it's a soul fragment, I guarantee you. I know that Malfoy only knew it was a dark artefact and wanted Ginny to get caught with it, or alternatively was threatened into giving it to her, planting it on someone close to the Boy-Who-Lived. I've read the books that contained mentions of the Malfoy family, Abraxas Malfoy was neutral in the pureblood supremacy issue, although he still married a pureblood. What was Lucius and Narcissa's courtship like, Professor? You were here at the time, and given the Blacks were a fanatical Dark Side family, it is possible that Lucius initially joined the Death Eaters so that Narcissa's parents would allow her to marry him._

_However, no matter how initially indifferent he was, he would at least have to act like a fanatic to not get executed by Voldemort or his cronies. The Malfoy family has traditionally worked to stay in the top tier of society, and as the political landscape shifts, they have to change with it. Since the Dark Side is now behind the old pureblood families, they have to align with it to stay in the societal elite. From what I've read, they are perhaps one of the newest dark side families, and there is a very small possibility that at a critical junction when it seems victory can go either way, Lucius and Narcissa could turn sides. I wouldn't bet on it though. However, Draco seems to have picked up on too much of his parents' pretence, he might not be salvageable._

That ran through Harmony's mind before she elected to say something that would keep Dumbledore on her side instead of trying to dispose of her for knowing too much. It was so stupidly obvious that it was odd no one else seemed to extrapolate so much though… She shifted her eyes to look at the older redheaded male (Dumbledore didn't count as a redhead anymore, though he had once been) present "I'm not certain, but I think Mr. Weasley needs to make it clear to his children that he has managed to attract many powerful enemies among the Death Eaters, even though he is not in a position of much power at the Ministry, it is still a position the Death Eaters hate and will use any measures to get at you for, including through your children. As long as they are at Hogwarts they will be under Dumbledore's" _and more importantly my gun-based_ "aegis, and I plan on ending this struggle before I leave school."

Arthur Weasley nodded slowly, as if surprised such a young girl could give such an analysis, and said "…You're right, we need to make it clear to all our children—"

Harmony cut him off "The most important thing is that you can't strike back at Lucius right away, he has many powerful friends and to strike now would cost the Light Side one of the few connections it has in the Ministry outside the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, which will be immediately locked down and/or purged after the Ministry falls, probably dependent on blood status. There aren't enough purebloods left for them to afford to purge any they don't have to, like the Weasleys, who are a known quantity and therefore easy to keep an eye on." _I think it's what Voldemort would do if he had a brain, because it's what I would do in the given situation… with most of the population as sheeple, seizing the government will be adequate to control things._

Dumbledore spoke into the silence that descended over them "Miss Weasley should go up to the hospital wing right away. This has been a terrible ordeal for her. There will be no punishment. Older and wiser wizards than she have been hoodwinked by Lord Voldemort." He strode over to the door and opened it. "Bed rest and perhaps a large, steaming mug of hot chocolate. I always find that cheers me up." He smiled in a grandfatherly way at them "You will find that Madam Pomfrey is still awake. She's just giving out Mandrake juice—I daresay the basilisk's victims will be waking up any moment."

"So Hermione's okay!" Ron said brightly as Harmony rolled her eyes at his lovesick behaviour.

"There has been no lasting harm done, Ginny." Dumbledore told her kindly. Mrs. Weasley led her out, and Mr. Weasley followed, still looking grimly shaken by Harmony's analysis. She hadn't said even half of it, since Dumbledore's type was most likely not tolerant of a better leader using ways he didn't approve of, and would likely Memory Charm her or something if she said too much. She could hold him off from using Legilimency on her, but that was only without a focused, dedicated strike from him, so she couldn't give him too much of a chance to suspect too much…

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A/N: Harmony's not going to trust Dumb-odour, as said just above.

REVIEW!


	12. War… Is Coming…

A/N: Sorry **Contessa Omega**, unless you literally mean janitorial duties as in cleaning up, the dire need will be left unfulfilled.

**Decided to bump the big A/N off the end of this chapter and into its own "chapter".**

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Chapter 12: War Is Coming…

"You know, Minerva, I think all this merits a good feast. Might I ask you to go and alert the kitchens?" Dumbledore asked McGonagall in what Harmony saw as a request for her to leave.

"Right, I'll leave you to deal with Potter and Weasley, shall I?" McGonagall said crisply, also moving to the door.

Dumbledore nodded "Certainly" and McGonagall left. He turned to Ron and Harry "I seem to remember telling you boys that I would have to expel you if you broke any more school rules." Ron's mouth dropped open as Harmony snorted derisively. _Please don't bother with the suspense, Professor, I doubt any of us are in the mood._ She thought "Which goes to show that the best of us must sometimes eat our words. You will all receive Special Awards for Services to the School and… let me see… yes, I think a hundred points apiece for Gryffindor." Ron blushed pink and shut his mouth at that. "But one of us seems to be keeping mightily quiet about his part in this dangerous adventure. Why so modest, Gilderoy?" The old wizard raised an eyebrow at the blonde airhead.

Harry jumped, having apparently forgotten about Lockhart, he turned and saw the blonde man standing in a corner, still with a vague smile. When Dumbledore addressed him, he looked over his shoulder to see if it was someone behind him who was being spoken to. "Professor Dumbledore, there was an accident down in the Chamber of Secrets. Professor Lockhart—"

"Am I a professor? Goodness, I expect I was hopeless, was I?" Harmony blinked in shock, _Lockhart said something intelligent? I'm almost tempted to look up to check if the sky is falling yet or not._

"He tried to attack Harry and Ron with a Memory Charm and the wand backfired." Harmony said.

"Dear me, impaled upon your own sword, Gilderoy!" Dumbledore looked to be on the verge of bursting out laughing.

Lockhart blinked stupidly "Sword? Haven't got a sword. That boy has, though. He'll lend you one." He pointed at Harry. Harmony blinked in shock again. _He seemed to have whipped a sense of humour out from under his now-vanished ego, just full of surprises isn't he?_

"Would you mind taking Professor Lockhart up to the infirmary, too?" Dumbledore said to Ron and Harmony "I'd like a few more words with Harry…"

Lockhart ambled out and Ron followed with a curious look back, but Harmony stayed put "I'd like to stay with Harry, Professor, if you don't mind terribly."

Dumbledore shrugged, then moved to one of the chairs by the fire. "Sit down then, Harry, Harmony." He said, and Harry sat, feeling somehow nervous until Harmony sat on the arm of his armchair and gripped his opposite shoulder firmly in her gloved hand.

"First of all, Harry, I want to thank you. You must have shown me real loyalty down in the Chamber. Nothing but that could have called Fawkes to you."

Harmony mentally rolled her eyes _I can think of some things, maybe… a plot device? Of course, that's assuming our universe is fictional relative to some other universe._ The phoenix fluttered down to Dumbledore's knee and he stroked its feathers.

"And so you met Tom Riddle… I imagine he was most interested in you…"

"Professor Dumbledore… Riddle said I'm like him. Strange likenesses, he said." Harry said rather quickly.

"Did he, now? And what do you think, Harry?" Dumbledore looked at Harry thoughtfully.

"I don't think I'm like him! I mean, I'm… I'm in Gryffindor, I'm…" he trailed off. Harmony gave his shoulder a pat and a reassuring squeeze. He looked up at her, smiling down at him, and smiled gratefully at her support "Professor, the Sorting Hat told me I'd… I'd have done well in Slytherin. Everyone thought I was Slytherin's heir for a while… because I can speak Parseltongue."

"You can speak Parseltongue, Harry, because Lord Voldemort, who is the last remaining descendant of Salazar Slytherin, can speak Parseltongue. Unless I'm much mistaken, he transferred some of his own powers to you the night he gave you that scar. Not something he intended to do, I'm sure."

Harmony had an inkling what that meant, perhaps Harry carried another soul fragment inside his curse scar? That could explain it, but logically, wouldn't it merge with the host's soul after a while? There was much to learn before she could voice anything really important in front of Dumbledore, since if his isolation of Harry from the Wizarding World said anything, he was most likely a control freak and wouldn't like Harmony knowing too much.

"Voldemort put a bit of himself in me?" Harry said hollowly.

"Is that so bad? If he hadn't, you couldn't have saved Ginny this year, could you?" Harmony reminded him firmly.

"It certainly seems so, and Miss Shepard is correct in her assessment." Dumbledore replied.

"So I should be in Slytherin." Harry was staring so desperately at Dumbledore he didn't see Harmony facepalm. "The Sorting Hat could see Slytherin's power in me, and it—"

"Put you in Gryffindor. Listen to me, Harry. You happen to have many qualities Salazar Slytherin prized in his hand-picked students. His own very rare gift, Parseltongue, resourcefulness, determination, a certain disregard for rules… Yet the Sorting Hat placed you in Gryffindor. You know why that was. Think, Harry…"

"It only put me in Gryffindor… because I asked not to go in Slytherin…" Harry sounded so defeated that Harmony gestured to herself and Dumbledore nodded slightly.

"Harry, look at me." Harmony said brusquely "The Sorting Hat wanted to put me into Slytherin, I threatened to burn it if it did that. It is what we decide to do with ourselves that matters. I have this submachine gun here." She gestured at the weapon hanging across her chest. "This is illegal in the British Isles unless you hold the same sort of license I do. I could take this and your Cloak and go on a shooting spree in the Great Hall, and I can guarantee you that I'll kill at least half of the Slytherins before I can be detected, let alone stopped. Yet I CHOOSE not to. Tom Riddle CHOSE to be a megalomaniacal Dark Lord, you CHOSE to let Lockhart live after he tried to directly and intentionally compromise the rescue operation of Ginny Weasley. I CHOSE, after that, to warn you that someday your naiveté will come back to bite us in the ass during the real war against Voldemort, after he rises again. And of course, Professor Dumbledore chose to allow me to study at Hogwarts even though the Sorting Hat told him that I have killed before and would like to carry my weapons everywhere I go in case I am attacked."

Harry sat in his chair, stunned, as Dumbledore smiled at both of them "She is right, Harry, and she's telling the truth. It is indeed your choices that make you very different from Tom Riddle. It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. If you want proof, Harry, that you belong in Gryffindor, I suggest you look more closely at this." He got up to McGonagall's desk and handed the sword back to Harry. Just below the hilt was engraved the name _Godric Gryffindor_.

"Is this the Sword in the Stone or Excalibur?" Harmony asked randomly.

The Sorting Hat spoke up, making Harry jump and Dumbledore sit back abruptly in surprise "Bravo! Someone has finally made the connection. Merlin, who was once a Slytherin, borrowed it once to show that a young man he saw potential in could become the next war chief of Britain. A bit of magic to make sure no one else could pull it out, and voila! Of course, Merlin returned it later on once he managed to get his hands on Excalibur for Arthur to use…"

"That's quite an interesting tale there…" Dumbledore said "Is there anything else you can tell us about the sword?"

"Nothing you don't know and need to know, Headmaster."

"Alright… I love a good mystery, perhaps we could play twenty questions sometime?"

"Perhaps." The Hat said in a non-committal tone.

"I look forward to it." Dumbledore nodded at the hat before turning to Harry once more "Anyway, only a true Gryffindor could have pulled that out of the hat, Harry." Harmony patted him on the shoulder and gave him another reassuring smile. "Exactly which curse did you use on the Diary, Harmony?"

Crap, he's going to know if I try to lie, better to tell the truth and follow up with enough truths about this society to persuade him "The most powerful curse available for killing things, Headmaster, I do my research well, as you said to Harry at the end of last year, we do the thing properly." Dumbledore had paled noticeably "You know well that sometimes, on a small scale, the ends justify the means. The Killing Curse is only illegal if it's cast on a person, it initially began as a safe and humane way to kill animals for consumption, some of the books I got from Diagon Alley say so, and it's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Whatever Riddle was, he's gone now, and that means my learning to hate enough to cast the curse was worth it. Don't worry, Dumbledore, I am a Muggle-born from a very tight-knit and loving family whereas Riddle told us he was a half-blood orphan when he pulled us into a Diary memory. There is no risk whatsoever of me becoming some sort of Dark Lady." She left the rest unsaid. _You should know why the cycle of Dark Lords occurs, the system is reactionary and resists progress toward tolerance because the nobles hold too much power. If changing a machine that fosters hatred is considered dark, then you can try to 'redeem' me, but I am telling you that if nothing changes, the cycle will continue. This culture is far beyond salvageable, the only thing we can do now to stop the Cycle of Hatred, stop the fanaticism of pureblood supremacy dead in its tracks, is a Revolution._

"Well, I must say that it was… very impressive magic, Miss Shepard, and probably one of the only ways you could have destroyed Riddle and saved all of you. Though I don't like it too much, I must say that in this case at least, you were right to use it." _Tom Riddle was beyond redemption a long time ago…_ Dumbledore thought gravely _But I pray that you do not fall into the same rut that I had once entered of thinking the ends justify the means… and which Tom Riddle had once gone through._

"Yes sir, I will be honest with you" Dumbledore smiled internally. _Honesty… the greatest difference between her and what Tom and even I once were…_ "I won't use it on anyone who isn't trying to kill me, my friends, or many innocents. However, in those situations, I will take any and all measures necessary to neutralize the threat." Dumbledore relaxed almost imperceptibly. If she was willing to be so blunt and up front on a huge issue such as this, there was essentially no chance of her going truly dark, though she'd probably be grey. Then again some of the most effective members of the Order of the Phoenix, like Alastor, were considered grey at best.

There were a few minutes of silence before Dumbledore pulled open one of the drawers in McGonagall's desk, grabbing a couple blank parchments, a quill, and a bottle of ink. "What you need, Harry, is some food and sleep. I suggest you go down to the feast, while I write to Azkaban. We need our gamekeeper back. And I must draft an advertisement for the Daily Prophet, too. We'll be needing a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher… Dear me, we do seem to run through them, don't we?"

Harry got up and headed to the door. He'd just reached for the handle however when the door burst open. Harmony's instincts acted before her brain finished processing things and she'd already fired a Stunner and put up a basic _Protego_ shield before she could figure out who it was, not to mention having her pistol out in her left hand, lock off, safety off, and therefore ready to fire from where she was now knelt behind the desk after vaulting over it, splattering ink over the ground from the knocked-over and smashed ink bottle. The door banged against the wall as it turned out to be a now flat on his back and very unconscious Lucius Malfoy at the door and, heavily wrapped in bandages behind him, a house-elf that Harmony was willing to gamble was the Dobby Harry had spoken of previously. Her first thought on seeing a house-elf in person was _I KNEW IT! George Lucas DIDN'T need to make a costume for Yoda after all! He just had to find an old house-elf to take the job!_

* * *

**A/N: Yes, laugh all you want, it was my original mental image of how House-elves (at least old ones, like Kreacher) would look, before I saw any of the movies with house-elves in them.**

* * *

Dumbledore fixed the bottle and sucked most of the ink back in with a wave of his wand before vanishing the rest "A most impressive display, Miss Shepard, but perhaps I should go wake Mr. Malfoy up…"

Harry sprang out of his seat toward Lucius Malfoy with his arms outstretched and ready to wrap around the blonde's neck only a moment after Harmony had finished standing up and holstered her pistol. She pulled herself onto the desk before kicking off against its far edge to intercept him in a spectacular flying tackle—well, it would have been spectacular had she actually nailed him. Instead, she was about ten centimetres to the side off of slamming into Harry's center of mass, so they went tumbling and rolling across the floor until Harmony slammed her legs open and put some force into her hips to lock herself into place, stopped the two of them cold with Harry headbutting her chin rather hard. "Don't even think about attacking him, Harry, if you insisted I let Lockhart live, then you will let Lucius live." She spat at him from close range.

"He tried to kill Ginny and all the Muggleborns in the school! Lockhart only stole a few people's memories!" Harry argued.

"I don't think he really understood what the Diary was, only that it was a Dark artefact, Harry, just trust me for once, will you?" She glared into his emerald eyes, knowing she needed to guilt-trip him, then confuse him with rhetoric, so that he would accede to her, at least for now. So, she did just that. "Every time I've warned you about something so far, you never listen and then walk into perfectly avoidable trouble, I thought we were friends, Harry, at least consider what I have to say. You have a pure soul and thus are incapable of actually killing intentionally and knowingly, if you need proof, try to kill him and we'll see how far you get. I on the other hand… I get to clean up after you, Harry. The corrupt governmental Machine in the Wizarding World right now can't deliver justice effectively, and that is why sometimes we need a Janitor, someone like me."

It was clear that the boy didn't understand much of the political rhetoric she was spewing at him, but enough to change his mind so that he would listen to her as he nodded once. She beamed at that "Okay, Harry, let's hear Mr Malfoy talk himself into a hole in front of Dumbledore… I think the Professor wants us to get up before he revives Mr. Malfoy."

"Quite correct, Miss Shepard, after all, your position is a bit untoward at the moment and Mr. Malfoy likely has more than enough complaints to waste our time with already." Harry seemed to just notice this and blushed red, rolling off her before scrambling to his feet.

She sat up before also standing "I could care less about that sort of thing, but it seems Harry is a lot more sensitive than I. It shall be as you wish, Professor." _Body armour equals my chin being the only part of me that vaguely felt that._

Dumbledore waited before the two of them were seated in armchairs again before casting an _Ennervate_ at Lucius, who woke up and blinked a couple times before sitting up and springing to his feet "What is the meaning of this, Dumbledore?" He spat as he marched into the office.

"Good evening, Lucius." Dumbledore said pleasantly "It seems I may have spent a bit too much time having tea with Mad-Eye in recent days, and picked up some of his, ah, less polite mannerisms… my apologies for that." Harmony was given the impression that Mad-Eye, whoever he was, must be quite paranoid, sounded about right given the moniker he'd apparently earned.

Dobby was scurrying around his feet, trying to finish polishing his leather pointed-toed boots which Harmony eyed with distaste. _How uncomfortable and awkward for everyday wear… yet the foolish purebloods insist for it is "traditional"._ Apparently Mr. Malfoy had set out in a great hurry, as even before being laid out on his back his hair had been dishevelled. "So! You've come back. The governors suspended you, but you still saw fit to return to Hogwarts."

Harmony stroked her fingers over Harry's white knuckles, clasping his hands in hers, and his clenched fists relaxed slowly. The thought of _this feels kind of nice_ went unperceived as the consideration of how to best approach the conversation overrode it. It wouldn't do to have Harry stand up and whack Lucius over the head at this time with one of the solid bronze candle-holders that adorned the top of the fireplace mantelpiece. Dumbledore was smiling and she whispered to Harry "He's about to play Lucius for a fool, watch and learn, Harry." The boy relaxed to a more normal state at that.

"Well, you see, Lucius, the other eleven governors contacted me today. It was something like being caught in a hailstorm of owls, to tell the truth. They'd heard that Arthur Weasley's daughter had been killed and wanted me back here at once." Harry tensed briefly once more "They seemed to think I was the best man for the job after all. Very strange tales they told me, too… Several of them seemed to think that you had threatened to curse their families if they didn't agree to suspend me in the first place." Dumbledore replied with his eyes twinkling.

Lucius paled even more than his usual pallid colour "So… have you stopped the attacks yet? Have you caught the culprit?" He sneered, obviously trying to recover in this confrontation.

"We have." Dumbledore kept smiling.

"Well? Who is it?" Lucius said sharply.

"The same person as last time, Lucius, but this time, Lord Voldemort was acting through somebody else. By means of this diary." Dumbledore held up the small, black book, complete with the scorches around the edges. Dobby however was pointing at the Diary, then at Lucius, then hitting himself in the head with his fist. Harmony nodded curtly at him to signal understanding, and Harry followed suit. Dobby backed into a corner, wringing his ears as punishment.

"I see…" Mr. Malfoy's eyebrows were up about as far as they could reasonably go, perhaps not expecting the Diary to have been connected with the attacks or his master "But… how could this be?" _If he's faking, then Voldemort has many more soul anchors, to expend one of them so callously, if he's not, then Voldemort might not have many more anchors. If he's not faking, the Malfoy family may be persuaded to turn on Voldy at a decisive moment, but knowing Voldemort, chances are he has a lot of the things, but didn't tell his followers about them. If I was him, I certainly wouldn't tell anyone._

Dumbledore kept leering at Mr. Malfoy's storm-grey eyes "A clever plan, because if Harry and Harmony here" Lucius shot them a quick, sharp glance "and their friend Ron hadn't discovered this book, why… Ginny Weasley might have taken all the blame. No one would ever have been able to prove she hadn't acted of her own free will…" He said jovially, clearly to anger Mr. Malfoy as much as possible, ideally into doing something stupid. "And imagine what might have happened then… The Weasleys are one of our most prominent pure-blood families. Imagine the effect on Arthur Weasley and his Muggle Protection Act, if his own daughter was discovered attacking and killing Muggleborns… Very fortunate the diary was discovered, and Riddle's memories wiped from it. Who knows what the consequences might have been otherwise…"

Mr. Malfoy seemed to tense minutely, then sag almost imperceptibly, seemingly realizing his plan, whatever it was, hadn't worked, but also in a way that almost hinted at relief. It was as if he was angry he hadn't framed the Weasleys but happy a soul anchor had been terminated "Very fortunate." He said stiffly. _Could he be even slightly relieved one way or another? Hmm… this is an interesting development…_

"Don't you want to know how Ginny got hold of that diary, Mr. Malfoy?" Harry spoke like the Noble Git he was, incapable of strategizing and actually thinking before talking. Harmony wanted to throttle him all of a sudden and had to actually will herself not to try to crush his hands, which were still clasped in hers, in vice-grips.

Lucius rounded on Harry, spitting angrily like a snake "How should I know how the stupid little girl got hold of it?"

"Because you gave it to her, in Flourish and Blotts. You picked up her old Transfiguration book and slipped the diary inside it, didn't you?"

Mr. Malfoy's pale hands clenched and unclenched. "Prove it." He hissed.

"Oh, no one will be able to do that, not now that Riddle has vanished from the book. On the other hand, I would advise you, Lucius, not to go giving out any more of Lord Voldemort's old school things. If any more of them find their way into innocent hands, I think Arthur Weasley, for one, will make sure they are traced back to you."

"By the way, Mr Malfoy, remember that megalomaniacs don't like to share with anyone, as soon as he achieves control over the whole world, all the more prominent families who hold any power, power that is not in his hands, will be purged like a fart on the wind. When the time comes for a decisive confrontation, I hope you choose the side that will win and not immediately dispose of you afterward." Harmony spoke for the first time, not bothering to fix her eyes on him. "That being said, you've made the right choice in bringing this artefact to the attention of Dumbledore, perhaps this way, the Malfoy family will actually survive the next war and the Revolution that will come with it." She stated lightly, with a small smile, still not looking at Malfoy's blank stare. "Family is everything, Mr. Malfoy, and remember that your family will be the first to go after the Dark Lord gets his way."

He stood still for a long moment in the office, then turned to his house-elf "We're going, Dobby!" He wrenched the door open and kicked dobby through it as the elf hurried up to him.

His squeals of pain could be heard all the way along the corridor as Harmony said with a frown "I may have planted the first seeds of doubt in his mind, for he is wise enough to heed warnings from all sources." She shot a withering glare at Harry, who seemed to be in deep thought "But he still has a long way to go, and I'll need to control myself to refrain from just Janitorizing him like most of the other old pureblood families that are affiliated with the Dark Side."

"Professor Dumbledore, can I give that diary _back _to Mr. Malfoy, please?" Harmony facepalmed and groaned, he still didn't learn that sometimes you had to do what was right, like kicking in the front door and letting the whole rotten structure come tumbling down, not what was easy, like focusing on saving the few victims you see and trusting the machine to [ab]use the rest. She was going to make Malfoy give Dobby clothes (by stunning him again and grabbing his hand, then forcing it to drop a piece of clothing into Dobby's hand), but Harry seemed like he hadn't learnt to see both the little pictures and the big one that caused all the little ones. You can never finish cleaning up tragedies, unless you change the background so that less tragedies occur for you to clean up.

"Certainly, Harry, but hurry. The feast, remember…"

"I'm going with him in case Lucius tries anything." Harmony told Dumbledore before sweeping out after Harry, only lingering long enough to make sure Dumbledore did in fact nod. Harry took off one of his shoes, taking off the muddy, dirty sock, and stuffed the diary in it, then he ran down the corridor, catching up with Malfoy at the top of a flight of stairs. Harmony ghosted along behind him under the Invisibility Cloak, as the filth it had picked up from the Chamber had since slid off the magically dirt-repelling Cloak.

"Mr. Malfoy, I've got something for you —" Harry gasped (_wizards really need more physical exercise…_ she thought), skidding to a halt next to Lucius.

"What the—?" Lucius almost dropped it before he identified what was inside, then tore the sock off and threw it aside. "Well, I…" he looked around sharply a few times before pulling out his wand. Harmony's SMG was levelled at his head along with her wand under the cloak as soon as he did, but he only cast a couple privacy charms. "If this was what I now think it was… never mind." He wiped his hand on his robes, then frowned and tried it again, only to find that some of the grime had gotten under his nails, he glared angrily and said "I won't forget this, Potter. You'll meet the same sticky end as your parents one of these days if you aren't careful, they were meddlesome fools, too."

Harmony smiled widely, it seemed her hypothesis was correct, the Malfoy family was only interested in staying in the top echelons of society, not necessarily in anyone's cause. There could be no doubt that Lucius was an excellent Occlumens, able to forge a fake personality to hide from Voldemort, Dumbledore, and everyone else. If Harry's mind was accessed by Voldemort, Malfoy could pass it off easily enough as a fake memory planted by Dumbledore, as he was a top lieutenant and therefore a good target to frame as a potential traitor. Hopefully Voldemort would be intelligent enough to think of this before killing Lucius. Though Harry seemed to swell a bit in anger at what he saw as an insult, Harmony saw it as what Lucius probably intended, a warning for Harry to be more cautious and to stay safe.

Lucius Malfoy turned to go "Come, Dobby." There was no squeak of acknowledgement "I said, _come._" But Dobby didn't move, he was holding up Harry's soiled sock as if it was a priceless treasure.

"Master has given a sock, Master gave it to Dobby…" He said in wonder.

"What's that?" Lucius gaped "_What did you say?_"

"Got a sock. Master threw it, and Dobby caught it, and Dobby… Dobby is _free._" The house-elf's voice declined to a near-whisper by the end of that.

Lucius stared at the elf for a few moments before staring at Harry with a whispered "You've lost me my servant, boy!"

And then he lunged, only to meet a very solid, invisible shoulder slamming into his chest as Harmony threw her whole weight into the tackle. He was knocked back harshly before she shoved off him back to her feet, sending him falling backward down the stairs. A loud bang of Dobby's magic imparting inertia upon him didn't help his attempt to regain his footing before he could fall. A Muggle would have broken their neck, but the psychic protection wizards inherently used to dampen impacts resulted in him bouncing down the flight of stairs three at a time, landing in a crumpled heap at the landing below. He got up, whipping out his wand, his face livid, but Dobby raised a long, threatening finger, pointing at him. "You shall go now. You shall not touch Harry Potter. You shall go now."

Lucius glared at them one last time before he swung his cloak around him and scurried out of sight. Harmony pulled her cloak as Dobby said shrilly, looking up at Harry "Harry Potter freed Dobby! Harry Potter set Dobby free!"

"Least I could do, Dobby. Just promise never to try and save my life again." Harry grinned down at the elf.

Harmony felt that she shouldn't intrude on such a moment, but needed to get some facts straight first. "I've just got one question, Dobby, you told Harry all this had nothing to do with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, remember? Well—" She was cut off before she could screech something along the lines of _WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WERE YOU THINKING CONCEALING CRITICAL OPERATIONAL INTEL LIKE THAT FROM US?_

"It was a clue, miss, was giving sir a clue. The Dark Lord, before he changed his name, could be freely named, you see?"

Harmony glared at him "I guess you were specifically ordered not to tell anyone about anything that had to do with the Dark Wanker, but couldn't you have written it down for us?" Dobby shook his head sadly and Harmony sighed. "Well, thanks for trying, Dobby."

"Right… Well, we'd better go. There's a feast, and Hermione should be awake by now…" Harry said to them.

Dobby threw his arms around Harry's middle and hugged him "Harry Potter is greater by far than Dobby knew!" He sobbed "Farewell, Harry Potter and his lady friend!" With another loud crack, Dobby disappeared.

"I resent that designation." Harmony muttered.

"Huh?"

"Never mind, Harry, I'm hungry, let's go wash up and join the Feast."

* * *

This was, as expected, an atypical feast. Hermione raced over to them as soon as they entered the Great Hall, screaming "You solved it! You solved it!" and hugging them both tightly. Harmony, out of body armour for once, hugged back hard enough that Hermione squeaked. Then she supervised (read: glared unnervingly at) Justin Finch-Fletchley as he came over to apologize to Harry for suspecting him. After that, she helped herself to some food before starting to sleep, sitting up at her seat at the Gryffindor Table. After all, there was no telling when the next fight could roll around.

Hagrid turned up at half past three, while Harmony was dozing lightly in her seat in the Great Hall, and woke her up with the cheering he brought. He patted them on the shoulders so hard that Harry and Ron ended up face-planting in their trifle while Harmony and Hermione caught themselves before hitting the blank tabletop before them. The three hundred points they'd earned Gryffindor secured the House Cup without further incident, which resulted in the breakfast part of the celebration being in red and gold. McGonagall told them all that exams, other than the OWL and NEWT standardized tests, had been cancelled as a school treat (Hermione was aghast at the news).

When Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement however, people nudged others awake to listen "Professor Lockhart will not return next year, as he needs to go away and get his memory back."

The Great Hall burst into cheers… and said cheers went extinct less than a minute later, since McGonagall had joined in with "Yes, YES, YEEEESSSSSS!"

In the meantime, Snape had thrown his arms up into the air and shouted to the enchanted ceiling "HALLELUJAH!"

There was absolute silence, interrupted only by Dumbledore's glasses being put down with a soft clink on the table, the Headmaster rubbing his eyes before putting his glasses back on to rejoin the crowd staring or at least looking at the rest of the Head Table. McGonagall pretended to have a coughing fit, spilling some of the Firewhiskey she had in a glass over onto the table. "Ahem, ahem… ahem…"

Snape on the other hand glared at the crowd, crossed his arms over his chest and said "…What? I'm sure you agree with me?"

"Shame that Lockhart's not coming back," Ron decided to break the awkward silence "He was starting to grow on me. Without his memory, he's actually funny now, though still useless." There were a few snorts at that, and a babble of chatter broke out again soon afterward.

* * *

The rest of the term was generally sunny, which was Harmony's least favourite type of weather. However, she didn't see much of it with how many escapades she pulled using the relaxed security. Mimicking the psychic transmission and the hissing Harry had produced to open the Chamber wasn't hard, nor was the ride down and the hacking of parts off the Basilisk. However, the stairs got a bit annoying after about the tenth run in a single night. She discovered by testing on a piece of metal that Basilisk venom was a powerful battle acid, and that the outer hide of a Basilisk was bullet-resistant at least against pistol rounds. In other words, she stood with her back to the hide, extended her gun arm, pointed the gun at 45 degrees down toward the hide next to her to reduce the chance of getting hit by the ricochet, and fired only to have the round bounce off. Other than that, it was a lot of sample-fetching and smuggling them out of the school to the chopper that landed that night on one of the far corners of the school grounds.

In other news, after smuggling preliminary samples out, Harmony brought in a small army of hired wizards to move the damned corpse out of the Chamber, something which Headmaster Dumbledore would have done "if it didn't require Parseltongue" or a passable imitation "to get into the Chamber". However, the crew didn't expect her to ask them to NOT render it for parts. Instead, they left it in a large forest clearing and it was gone a few hours later. Harmony paid the crew a bit extra to maintain their silence about this and explained it to Dumbledore as having been handed off to another crew. Whatever technologies could come from that thing, which had been taken away by transport chopper, would definitely be well worth the price.

The rest of Hogwarts was back to a vague sort of normality, with very few differences. Defence Against the Dark Arts classes were cancelled and Lucius Malfoy had been sacked as a school governor. Draco was no longer strutting about the school, spending his days looking resentful and sulky instead. On the other hand, Ginny Weasley had begun spending time with her friends as well as Harmony and Hermione again, which resulted in the girls seeing a bit less of the boys, as Ron didn't want to spend too much time hanging out with Ginny.

On the journey home, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Harmony, Fred, George, Ginny and Luna got two compartments to themselves. Everyone except Harmony played Exploding Snap, set off the last of Fred and George's Filibuster fireworks, and joined her in magic practice, in this case disarming each other by magic. Harmony found the spell worked for getting any object out of someone's hands, not just wands, but that it was possible to counter if the user had enough fine muscle control to keep their fist closed enough to hold onto the object in question. Harry was the only one whose Disarming Spell got anywhere close to Harmony's level of precision targeting and power, though he still couldn't disarm her or Hermione if they were anticipating it. However, if he hit her in the fraction of a second after she began amplifying through her wand and before she could compensate for her aim being shifted, he COULD throw off her aim with a spell. This gave Harmony another reason to like automatic weapons, the firing rate meant a momentary deflection of aim wasn't critical.

They were almost at King's Cross when Harry asked "Ginny, what did you see Percy doing, that he didn't want you to tell anyone?"

"Oh, that… well, Percy's got a _girlfriend_." Ginny and Hermione giggled while Luna and Harmony remained neutral, Luna humming a little tune to herself. The blonde had come with Ginny from the first-year Gryffindors' compartments, where she had initially sat because the Ravenclaws thought her odd and mildly insane.

Fred dropped a stack of books he was holding on George's head "_What_?"

"It's that Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater. That's who he was writing to all last summer. He's been meeting her all over the school in secret. I walked in on them _kissing _in an empty classroom one day. He was so upset when she was… you know… attacked."

"I told you so, Harry, Ron." Harmony said. "Although I must congratulate Percy on lack of discretion with regards to locking spells, but hey, at least you didn't walk in on them fucking each other senseless."

"WHAT?" Hermione, Fred, George and Ginny asked before Ginny swatted Hermione's hands away from her ears.

"I guessed as such to Percy's face after you left, Ginny, he didn't deny it. Apparently these boys never believe anything I tell them…" Harmony jerked her thumb brusquely at the boys in question.

"That's not what I'm talking about, Harmony, you shouldn't use such foul language in front of Ginny!" Hermione hissed furiously.

Ginny snorted "Oh please, like my brothers haven't taught me enough swear words already." It took a while before the three Weasley boys present stopped trading accusations over this. Luna distracted Hermione with conversation while Harmony, Harry and Ginny watched the boys squabble.

"Well, I'm being honest here, teenagers around Percy's age tend to be horny and impulsive, add that to being alone for what is expected to be a while and, well, it's not a good combination." She said to Ginny and Harry, who giggled and/or blushed.

"You won't tease Percy, will you?" Ginny asked Fred and George once the small argument ended.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Fred said, still looking as if his birthday had come early.

George was also smirking broadly as he said "Definitely not."

The Hogwarts Express slowed some time later, and finally stopped. Harry pulled out his quill and a bit of parchment, turning to Ron, Hermione and Harmony. "This is called a telephone number. I told your dad how to use a telephone last summer… he'll know. Call me at the Dursleys', okay? I can't stand another two months with only Dudley to talk to."

"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" Hermione asked. "When they hear what you did this year?"

"Proud? Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious…" Harry replied casually before they walked through the barrier.

After they finished their goodbyes to Harry, as Harmony had said she wanted a few more words with the Weasleys, she rounded on Hermione. "Haven't you paid a bit of attention to what Harry's said about his life at the Dursley's? It's clear they're a bunch of abusive bastards who need some good punishing. Don't worry, Hermione, Ron, I will be on site to clear them up and collect evidence to get them for over a decade of abuse."

"Are you sure he's been abused? He seems so polite and kind…" Mrs. Weasley said.

"I am certain, Mrs. Weasley, darkness is coming, we must be ready to meet and crush it. The Machine must change to break this vicious cycle of hatred. Teach your children about the dark side of war, they will need it to survive."

"I would listen to Harmony if I were you, Mrs. Weasley, unless you want your children to stop being friends with Harry Potter for the sake of their safety." Jane Shepard had arrived to pick up her daughters, with her husband standing at her shoulder, both ready for anything.

The red-haired and orange-haired women stared each other down for a while before Molly acceded to the taller redhead "Okay… we'll need to tell them quite a bit this summer then."

"Good, we'll see you again in September." Jane said to the Weasleys before turning to her daughters "Let's get moving, girls, we have a war to gear up for."

"It was nice seeing you again." Dan said simply before following his wife and daughters, it hadn't been his place to speak, especially since Jane had to decide the schedule of everything with how bad the reports were getting, according to what she'd told him. It was entirely possible that she wouldn't have the time to come with him to King's Cross to send their daughters off to their Third Year if things escalated.

* * *

A/N: Press the "Next" button for my massive rant/author's note.

Thank you for reading!

REVIEW!


	13. Concluding Author's Note

A/N: CONCLUDING NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

I will be working on SI Archives Parts 5 and 6 for a while, with some updates to WOW/Pokémon and **MAYBE a couple more chapters for SupCom: Babylonia**, at least to clear up the relationship issues. (sorry, but SupCom: ME 3 will probably have to wait until after SC2: Legacy of the Void comes out). **Will need to at least begin SI Archives Part 7 before starting HS Book 3, so it might take a while.**

I will restate something stated in Ch 9: **Harmony's ANIMAGUS Form will be a HYDRALISK!** The results of the poll for the Animagus Form were, with 16 total voters (select up to 3 choices), 13 votes for Hydralisk, 6 each for Coleopian Tank and other Highly Hazardous Life form, 4 for Dementor and 3 for a non-hazardous life form. Apparently no one liked the idea of the soldier-girl being a Blast-Ended Skrewt, good, I didn't like it either.

**I know some people will have waited until now to yell at me for making Harmony a Sue**. So, let's go over the points of being a Sue: (quoted from YourInnerDemons on DeviantArt)

"_If a character is pretty, she's a sue, if a character has a unique talent she's a Sue. If a character has a lot of friends, she's a Sue. And God forbid, if a character becomes a love interest to an already existing character, no matter how well they're developed and the story told, they're a Sue._

_Also, a Sue-ish character isn't necessarily a bad character. If a character is deprived of all Sue qualities, they are usually dull and boring. Which biography would you rather read, the life of an 80-year-old reclusive spinster or the adventures of a treasure huntress?_

_Well, if you don't like Sue-ish qualities at all, the recluse is your best bet. She's more than likely a wrinkly old hag that can't stand people and the most extravagant thing she ever does is go to the supermarket for supplies._

_While the treasure huntress might be cute and have vast knowledge of her extreme surroundings. I mean, a woman that's cute and intelligent has to be a Sue! And I certainly don't like those!"_

Harmony's most likely going to end up being a reclusive (to the world at large) 80-year-old general who doesn't like doing things that feel good (except winning battles and campaigns) because she "can't afford to lose sight of reality, even if only for a moment". Please note that we will see something very important in this regard about Voldemort, exactly why he was a man-whore at Hogwarts. _**Guess what? Harry Potter is an obvious Gary Stu character, and if I didn't bash his uselessness to the world in this fic, people would probably be ripping on me for showing him as a Stu by referencing the books directly.**_ _**Also, EVERY female player character in any RPG game is practically guaranteed some Sue-ish traits. Otherwise they wouldn't be a player character.**_

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**WARNING: Detailed breakdown of Harmony's Sue-ish (or traits likely to be accused for Sue-ishness) and not-Sue traits/events here, MAY BE TL,DR!**

1) **Popular**: Uh, no, she might be widely respected as a companion of Harry's, but she only has 3 actual friends in her age plus/minus one year, 2 if you don't count her twin sister. Generally, she doesn't socialize significantly unless it's someone one of her friends introduced to her (Ron introduced Ginny, sort of, and Ginny introduced Luna, Hermione dragged her older twin into the group she'd formed with Harry and Ron…).

2) **Good at Physical Activity**: If you were basically genetically engineered (your ancestors were) to be physically superior and have been in physical training and exercising regularly for four years, I fail to see why you shouldn't be tough. By this definition Miranda Lawson is a Sue… Readers, if you don't gain significant strength with 4 years of hard training, you should get examined for muscle diseases.

3) **Supernatural Knowledge Absorption**: Do you really think she has had the chance to play with other children her age? Hermione might have gotten a few years before she was pulled out for home-schooling, but Harmony had always been the kid to spend every recess in the library or holed up somewhere with a book because the other kids didn't understand her and she doesn't deign to make them understand. Add that to genes designed to grant the user (Kane) the power to prevent extinction of the species in the face of a monumental threat…er, I'm revealing too much…anyway the point is that her mother was vastly above genius level and her Dad was genius level (do you really think Jane wouldn't have been choosy?) so don't expect her to be an airhead.

4) **Pretty**: Ahem, 70th percentile in wizarding world means that if someone actually likes you, you're beautiful, otherwise you're just "not bad". Of course, the counterpart percentile in the muggle world is "Turns heads" but that's often not even relevant with the helmet and body armour, and it's a lower percentile than Miranda is supposed to be, by a long shot.

5) **Grows from a relatively normal child to a killing machine too quickly**: If you had someone's blood literally cover the front of your shirt as you hacked their throat open (YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DDIIIEEE AND YOUR OTHER WRIST JUST GOT SHATTERED!) at age eight before you shot two other guys who were trying to murder your father, I would like to see you stay normal. Add to that her dreams of changing the world a la "Peace Through Power" and you end up with something bordering on psychopathic.

6) **Stupid Name**: She's named after her mother's generic, not-at-all special name for middle and last name, and it's only three words long and none of the words involved sound that stupid. Harmony and Melody would have been good names for a pair of fraternal twin girls, but Jane decided at the last second (Dan Granger once joked that she had the nurse put laxatives in the breakfast they'd brought him in the waiting room so that he'd go to the bathroom and she could mess around with the names) that it might be better if one of the identical twins she'd just borne WASN'T in the family business.

Now, let's consider some of her flaws:

1) Can laugh maniacally while torturing/slaughtering things. Being Extremely Disturbing to EVERYONE ELSE PRESENT is not generally considered Sue-ish.

2) Will deny any possibility of having feelings (though this comes a bit later)

3) Keeps huge secrets, like her mother's identity, from even her twin.

4) Has a tainted soul, really pure (Truth & Ideals) souls cannot cast the _Avada Kedavra_. Ron, Hermione, Harry, Dumbledore, they are unable to cast the curse, but she enjoys employing it.

5) She WILL die horribly ever after, I swear it!

**END LONGER VERSION OF RANT**

**Compressed edition**: Let's take the Mary Sue test! (the following questions are quoted from CelticKawaii on DeviantArt, answers are my own)

"_*Is your character at all attractive? (As in, if she's anything short of mirror-cracking ugliness, she falls into this…because that is how YOU always wanted to look!)_  
She hasn't had any mirrors or weapons scopes shatter in protest of reflecting her face yet, so she supposes she's not hideous.

_*Is your character good at more than three things?_  
She thinks so, she's good at plenty of stuff, including these things: Cooking (at least, she creates palatable food, unlike her sister or aunt who can "burn" water by forgetting the pot on the stove, letting the bottom form a black layer of oxide with the heat accelerating the reaction…), Reading, Remembering things, Killing, Moving about stealthily and/or quickly, Bringing in fire support, Breathing.

_*Does your character have any positive traits at all?_  
She thinks so, but she does wonder if she has a soul sometimes with how much blood is already on her hands. She has a feeling she'll have to ask whatever takes care of where she goes after death about this.

_*Do other characters like your character?_  
She's not completely sure with how they ignore her advice regularly, but as none of the people she calls friends, nor her family, nor any other of her peers, have tried to slit her throat in the middle of the night yet she finds this probable. She's almost sure that her parents at least care for her strongly, and she suspects her twin sister might be vaguely upset if she died, so she supposes that others like her.

_*Does another character fall in love with your character?_  
She hopes this is not the case, her dream career choice doesn't leave much space for a love life, and she doesn't want to turn others against her by breaking their hearts.

_*Is she female?_  
She acknowledges this and would like to ask "so what?"

_If you answered Yes to __any__ of these questions, then your character is a BLATANT MARY SUE!"_

**Well we can therefore conclude that Harmony is CLEARLY a Mary Sue! She fits ALL the damned criteria!**

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I know some of my earlier works really sucked, but I thank you guys for staying with me all this time, and I hope I've gotten a lot better than I was back when I put up my first fanfic. I hope I can have your continued support as I continue writing.

Thank you, my readers.

-Guardian54-


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